Santa is just a glorified sprint master

Just went clubbing in a stackoverflow tshirt 😂😂😂😂😂

⚫⚫⚫⚫🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️

To the cunt who named himself "Uncaught ReferenceError: username is not defined":
Sincerely, fuck you.

😂😂😂😾the ways of the universe

God works in mysterious ways...

this guy found 1 mysterious way.

...every single time.

Is this Docker ?

7/4/2018

I can never read this date properly

Is this 7th april
Or is this 4th july????

Fuck your american date format

I met my girlfriend cooking. She has no programming experience whatsoever and is quite computer illiterate. But that's fine as that's not something I need in a partner.

She regularly asks me what I'm working on. I'll try to explain it, and sometimes she definitely gets it, but sometimes she's clearly lost as fuck. She'll enthusiastically say things like "that's awesome honey!" To things that are just explanations. Sometimes it makes me laugh. Most of the time it leaves me in this weird confused state, like she's just pandering.

But I know she means well and wishes me the best. She's an amazing woman, and even if she doesn't get a single thing I try to explain, I'd much rather be with that than the "Why the fuck are you always playing on the computer?" Types of people I meet far more often.

In peace for a while

seriously man, how do u do that

My thoughts on programming:

As a child:
It is 100% magic

As a developer:
It is 65% if/else statements, 34% iterating an array, 1% actual amazing and unique code

~During app demo to our client~

- And when you click here the request will be submitted, the admin will be notified.
*App crashes*
- And of course the app will close itself since it's the end of the process.
- Client: That's good
- Me: ⊙﹏⊙

We need more JS devs for our frontend.
After half a year of PM complaining that he doesn’t find devs, he finally came back to us:
„Sorry guys, I found two devs, but they are not Java developers, they only do JavaScript“
Me:
Team:
*both speechless*
TeamLead: „... wait, you searched for Java devs half a year?“

Today my current company fuck itself.

We were in negotiations about the end of my contract/mission, I want to quit to create a company around AI.

And the actual chairman said to me "You think too highly of yourself. I could find a tenth of people to replace you so shut up and take what we offer".

30 minutes later they received my resignation. 1h after that, the 15 dev under me resigned (after two year working with us they are clearly under paid). At the end of the day, the Head of product and the two good PO resigned.

This morning I get an email, talking about suing me as I made everyone resigned and asking for a meeting.
So I went to the meeting with a lawyer, they weren't expecting it. Boring legal stuff came after that.

And the funny fact: at the end of the meeting the CIO, chief ops and the SRE resigned as well.... As they didn't want to have the run it without all the team...

Funny day :)

Last month the main product, 90% of the company use it, was launched. And in three months 80% if the IT profiles will be out...

My first ever salary made with coding came yesterday! 🎁

In my current company we're being forced to use Windows for web development... I can't use a VM because of the hardware specs.

This is now my screensaver.

How do I know my office is pretty chill?

My lead dev just sent me a text with:

"U suck penis"

I said "wow, uncalled for"

And then he said:

"U r uncalled for"

Well alrighty then

Merry Christmas 🎄

Sooo my friend asked my to become more active on steam and i did something about it! I'm going to be become the most activities steam user!

I code so my cat can live a better life

I feel you, I am also unable to database sometimes.

I just found that the logo of devRant exists in every URL out there.

:/
https://

I got a raise 😊

People:
Hell yeah we need to DECENTRALIZE THE INTERNET

Same people:
*host their own project at aws*

new rule in company

No headphones while coding

job hunting start......

Recently made an account on Instagram.
Uploaded two pics
Deleted both of them
Now I've -2 posts

i mean wtf

Under settings, we made a checkbox labeled “Run Program Faster”. The state was saved but it didn’t do anything.

We turned it “on” when people said things were slow. Usually they were happy and no one complained the “run faster” option wasn’t working.