Fuck. You know you have overslept when you wake up and reach for your phone to check the time only to realise you aren't reaching for your phone, but instead you've fallen back asleep and are dreaming about reaching for your phone.

Just happened 3 times in a row to me -.-

I am fairly convinced coding in a non dark mode editor will slowly ruin your code due to excessive exposure

Living life on auto-pilot mode.
Whatever happens, happens.

Just found a
catch {
// TODO: correctly handle exceptions
}

In production code.

Don’t.

I don't mind helping but puuuuuuleeeeeease learn from what I have been teaching. Flex your brain and give me your initial ideas instead of waiting to be given the answer. I need to know you are learning and you are critically thinking the error. I don't expect you to be right but I expect you to at least try. Please try!

What piece of shit coded this site?

https://freefilefillableforms.com//...

This is website people who did not file a tax return can use to get their stimulus check.

It’s not mobile friendly or even responsive in the least bit.

These people are poor and desperate and do you think they have laptop or desktops? No they use their phones.

You could have added some Flex box, now people are freaking out all over the internet.

Who the fuck would do this also this?

!dev

Reeeeddit is a strange place. You can be on an advice sub, answer the question and the OP agrees with your answer and people are still gonna downvote it.

What the actual basement dwelling neckbeard virgin fuck is this shit lol

You ever look at the guy next to you, back at your computer and just ask why?

Falling in love with Nginx every day...😍🥰

........

One does not really appreciate pre-built binaries until he has to build a massive code-base [and it takes hours on top-notch hardware, plus a lot of error tweaking].

Thank you to all the open-source supporters that take their time to pre-compile binaries and/or automate builds.

As contributors, they deserve our appreciation as much as developers do.

I don't think I could give the best advice on this since I don't follow all the best practices (lack of knowledge, mostly) but fuck it;

- learn how to use search engines. And no, not specifically Google because I don't want to drag kids into the use of mass surveillance networks and I neither want to promote them (even if they already use it).
- try not to give up too easily. This is one I'm still profiting from (I'm a stubborn motherfucker)
- start with open source technologies. Not just "because open source" but because open source, in general, gives one the ability to hack around and explore and learn more!
- Try to program securely and with privacy in mind (the less data you save, the less can be abused, compromised, leaked, etc)
- don't be afraid to ask questions
-enjoy it!

Laravel is the worst framework ever.

Everything has to be made convenient and easy. That sounds amazing, because developers want to save time, worry less about boilerplate code, right? No more constructors, no more dependency injection, fuck all the tedious OOP shit... RIGHT?

It does one thing well: Make PHP syntax uniform and concise through easily integrated libraries such as Collection and Carbon. But those are actually not really part of the framework... just commonly integrated and associated with Laravel.

The framework itself is completely derailed: You can define code in a callback in the routes file. You can define a controller in the routes file. You can define middleware as a parameter to the route, as a fluent method to the route, you can stack them up in a service provider. Validators can be made in controllers, Request objects, service providers, etc. You can send mail inline, through Mailable objects, through Notification objects, etc.

Everything is macroable, injectable, and definable in a million different places. Ultimate freedom!

Guess what happens when you give 50 developers of various seniority a swiss army knife?

One hammers in a screw with a nail file, the other clips the head from the screw using scissors, and you end up with an unworkable mess and blunt tools.

And don't get me started about Eloquent, the Active Record ORM. It's cute for the simple blog/article/author/comment queries, but starts choking when you want more selective and performant queries or more complex aggregates, and provides such an opaque apple-esque interface which lets people think everything is OK, when in reality it's forcing the SQL server to slowly commit suicide.

I'm sorry but Laravel is for brainless programmers who wants to be spoon feed all the time.

Laravel is maybe fast to develop and easy to understand but its only because it is poorly designed/written.

That damn Eloquent, if misuse by ignorant or amateur programmer, will definitely bring a disaster to the whole system.

If you're this kind of developer..
Then you seriously need to reconsider your coding standards and structure.

My first freelance dev job thing, turned out alright. For the first year though, the dev job thing became a tech support thing. Oh the horror.

Me: "I'll never be able to do this"

Me: "I suck at coding"

Me: "What am I even looking at"

Me: "Im going to get fired for being incompetent"

Me: "They could have hired a child with more coding prowess"

Supervisor: "Hey, good job. Keep up the good work."

Me: "Pfft of course you're talking to a pro here."

$ man unzip
Definitely the weirdest command I've used in a while

What’s the most efficient algorithm to find duplicates in a set?

An SO moderator

Aaah, good old StackOverflow..
Ask a question and get it marked as duplicate for something that didn't even solve the posters answer.. 4 years ago

Developers' excuses

Junior : it works on my machine
Senior : it worked on my machine yesterday

Normal person: send nudes
Dev: send stickers

I have an array of 1037 records. The soap service only accepts 100 at a time. So, I write code to send an array of 100 records at a time to the soap service in a loop and get a response back of, "The maximum number (100) of records allowed for this operation has been exceeded." Well, I'll try 99 records then. Nope same error. I'll try 50 records, nope I'll just bang my head on the desk now since the documentation and error say it is a record limit of 100. 😠

Look at my code again. I was grabbing 100 records out of the array of 1037 records and storing it in a new array, but I was sending the original array with 1037 records instead of the temporary array in the loop. 😢 I'm going to bed.

Pure evil

Just called Asus for a problem with my router, went to send them my systemlog.txt for analysis

"Oh we don't have an email you can send that to"

Me: "(me calling bullshit) let me talk to the tech team.."

*Get transferred*

"Hello this is the supervisor"

Me: "fml"

"Ya we don't have an email you can send that to, but we can use a different departments verification services to get a file from you, has to be a picture though"

Me: "What? I got a .txt file here, I just want to get it to you, does it really have to be a picture?"

"Has to be a picture or a PDF, we can't take txt files"

Me: "fkin.. srsly? Fine"

I can't believe Asus's system srsly. I think it's for virus protection, but viruses can be embedded in both picture formats and PDF, but not in txt. So wtf is going on lol

Shit happens... but never let your shit go to far... specially while in production or drunk.

My wife: “Commit, then come to bed.”

When you are getting ready to share your source code with a potential employer

My clients be like