Get into management is not a promotion but a career change.

But I saw a salary bump since I'm working as a software development manager.

"Avoid deploying on Fridays".
Today is Friday.
Today I had to deploy.
Today I won't go home :(

Yesterday, my employer promoted me to lead web developer.

I’m still the only web developer.

I have single-handedly gotten our enterprise-level organization off of SVN and onto Git. I am the lord Jesus Christ almighty.

git blame
git fired
git depression
git divorce
git homeless
git commit
git job
git house
git wife --better
exit

Competitive programming should be encouraged that is the best way to develope and improve logical skills

*sigh*

Ssh'd into raspberry pi:

$ sudo ip link set dev wlan0 down

*waits 5 minutes for response*

Oh.. Oh yeah..

Access is just the most bull**** thing on earth. I spent 3 hours trying to find the mistake in my sql. FYI this sucker uses some special syntax for multiple joins -_-

I think that was that automated greenhouse thingy.
This is basically a Raspberry Pi with sensors, a fan and a water pump controlling the air circulation and watering of the greenhouse. The data from the sensors gets stored in a database and you can check the temperature & humidity history on a shitty web interface.
This was one of my very first projects and I'm really proud of finishing it although it's really not perfect. When I started it I had never worked with
1) databases
2) sensors on the raspi
3) webinterfaces
before and somehow managed to get it working.

Stackoverflow

When you forget how cin works...

7/10 he honestly should have failed me for making such a mistake.

I love everyone posting photos of there setups and cable management and here I am being self conscious because of how many empty cider cans and beer bottles are sitting on my desk 0.0

Do some of my best work when drinking!

OKAY WHAT THE FUCK

The amount of time it took me to realise that SSH is disabled by default on raspbian.

JIRA makes me want to end it all sometimes

The interview was for an internship, I was so nervous about it and thats how I fu*ked it.

Q: So you have studied OOP?
A: Yes Sir, I have studied OOP in C language.
And the rest is history. 😃😃

Every time I see a guy with long untrimmed beard, I automatically assume he is a linux sysadmin. Should I feel bad?

Starting to look like a dev's bookshelf!

I ordered my devrant stickers a few hours ago and they still haven't arrived.

Who else loves the old text based RPG games?

All my coder friends got the sexy davRant stickers on their laptops . Wish i could get one too.😃

Code Documentation 😍😎

User Guide Documentation 😭💔

LDAP is shit and shouldn't be used anymore.
3 days to create a fucking ldif file

"Somehow Agile Development"

“Your idea is not valuable, at all. All value is in the execution. You think you are an exception; you are not. You should not insist on an NDA to talk about it; nobody serious will engage in contract review over an idea, and this will mark you as clueless.” Patrick McKenzie

Who the fuck writes a 200 line method with 52 if/else statements, 3 try-catches, 6 loops and only 1 comment saying //Array of system records. No dipshit I thought that was a Fucking interface. What happened to the whole keep it simple notion?!

Looking for a job as a deveoper be like:

Job title: car driver

Job requirements: professional skills in driving normal- and heavy-freight cars, buses and trucks, trolley buses, trams, subways, tractors, shovel diggers, contemporary light and heavy tanks currently in use by NATO countries.

Skills in rally and extreme driving are obligatory!
Formula-1 driving experience is a plus.

Knowledge and experience in repairing of piston and rotor/Wankel engines, automatic and manual transmissions, ignition systems, board computer, ABS, ABD, GPS and car-audio systems by world-known manufacturers - obligatory!

Experience with car-painting and tinsmith tasks is a plus.

The applicants must have certificates by BMW, General Motors and Bosch, but not older than two years.

Compensation: $15-$20/hour, depends on the interview result.

Education requirements: Bachelor's Degree of Engineering.

Submitting my homework in LaTex makes me want to print it out and hang it on the wall because it is so beautiful.

Got a phone interview for a web dev internship while in school. I only took a very intro web design/dev course, and wasn't sure if I wanted to pursue that career. It went well in the beginning though I was getting more and more nervous. Then they asked what I learned in that class. I suddenly remembered something and rambled how the teacher talked about how outdated and not mobile-friendly tables are, and we should never use it in layout. There was a few seconds of silence and someone spoke out "well table is still very useful and we use it a lot in our website".
I didn't get the internship :-)

Asked a girl in my team if she knows JavaScript, her reply is "I don't know Java".

* facepalm *