‘The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit.

So, this random teen on subway asked me if it was 9GAG I was scrolling [i was on this app ofc]. I said it's better than 9GAG.
He went on like this "oh cool, does it have the the NSFW section too?"
...
Me: a...No, but can learn coding stuff
Him: hacking?
Me: hacking is not what you thin... [He interrupted me]
Him: Damn cool, I wanna learn hacking, it's my stop nice meeting you tell me the name of the app
Me: a...9...ha...ck, 9hack!
Him: cool, thanks. [Gets off]

(Um...Some people just don't deserve DevRant, if you know what I mean)

try{
❤️
}catch(){
🍺
}

When my git became guitar hero 😂😂

Real life automation scripts be like. 😂

If you understand -_-

Why programmers like UNIX:

unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep😋

Learnt Murphy's law the hard way,

Don't use your office laptop to create a personal auto porn downloading project specially when your boss suddenly wants to use your laptop to do a product demo to client.

Now looking for a new job, let me know if anyone need a smart developer who loves solving problems like the one mentioned above.

When you look back on your github activity and just think "Wow, we have really created something special. This is really going to help the world." It just... It gets me. That's why I do this day in and day out.

Linux ❤️

I hate this image - things in 2 states weird me out

The world will remain fucked up until the moment when backend devs will get as much credit as front end. Backend devs unite! All servers down so they can see who has real power!

-You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
-What mood is that?
-Last-minute panic.

I am a little bit fat (just a little bit :D) and there is no such an avatar in devRant to represent my look. That makes me feel I'm lying about myself 😐

Mathematician girl invites me to code some lines.
I arrive at her flat and she was alone so some part of me thought ehem. Anyway i took a look at the program first.
Me: so... it's a date?
Her: no im using cosmic radiation.
Me: huh?
Her: yeah accessing a value from a sensor gives a..

(Apparently she thought i was asking about the Random Function she was using, which usually uses the date)

Excellent Database table design...

MicroJoke or ShitSoft 😂😂

Best. Gif. Ever.

That is the question.

Normal guy: it's difficult to understand girls

Me: ha! Try JavaScript

When you do everything that needs to be done and it still doesn't work out.

Boss: Are you busy?
Me: *Schrödinger's silence*.

My job is so f**king unbelievable.

I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless.
The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on make-up.
She is extremely self-centred and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself.
She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet.
Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10.
I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts.
I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead.
In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work.
He probably hasn't been sober any time in the last ten years, and he's only 22.
He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big f**king dog to work.
Every f**king day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke.
Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing.
Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King, every single f**king day.

Anyway, I drive these dicks around in my van and we solve mysteries and s**t.

I went to Paris for my first interview (that was 1989) for a job of Unix kernel developer. All dressed up. I step out of the elevator and see a young punk with scruffy hair and different colour shoes. I reckon he must be the pizza delivery guy. I ask him "dude, can you please point me to the CEO's office for interview". He said "sure, follow me man, I'll show you". We arrive at a desk, he sat down in the big chair and looks at me with a big smile and says "Ok dude, here we are. I am the CEO. Now let's see how good you are!"
I got the job. And 26 years latet, last week, amazing coincidence: I met him again at a trade show in Paris ... with the same coloured shoes. How cool is that!!!

You vs the guy she tells you not to worry about

Internet is dark and full of funny things.

Never gets old

I just hate it when an update for an app is available and there's no changelog. Seriously, tell us what this update is about!

Me: **posts 🔥rant**
Me: **gets flood of devRant notifs**
Coworker: "What push API are you testing?"

😉

Select * from World where "someone" like '%you%';

No result!

Damn...