Don't know if it's up here, found it on r/ProgrammerHumor and thought it deserved to be shared :)

Github after Microsoft purchase

This is my motivation.

CSS in a nutshell

Stolen. This is how I felt on Friday when we were discussing fronted frameworks in office

How do you react?

A guy and a girl are in a Java seminar.

Afterward, the guy approaches the girl and asks, "Hey gurrl, can I get your number?"
Girl says "Sorry, I don't give out my number, it's private."
Guy says, "Oh I'm sorry, I thought we were in the same class!"

I think server down time is because of rain 🌧

Difference between 0 and NULL.

I might start referring to non-technical people as muggles.

4.04 - Happy Web developers day.

We've all been there

When you walk in the room for your interview and you see a whiteboard on the wall

This is what most people do... lol 😂😂😂😂 😂

Me: Let's grab something for dinner!
GF: Sure, but let's go somewhere safe
Me:

1. Customer wants X.
2. Developer delivers X.
3. Customer wants developer to change X to Y for free.
4. Developer demands money.
5. Customer gets mad.
6. Developer compares situation to ordering a hamburger, consuming it, and demanding a pizza for free because customer didn't like the hamburger.
7. Customer pays

COOOOKKKIIIEEES!!!

I relate

An iPad Pro is totally better than a computer.

Can I code on that piece of fuck? No? Fuck off.

!rant

Today marks three years of marriage to the best rubber duck ever.

😍

This never gets old...

5 things you will find shocking about asynchronous code:

3.
2.
5.
1.
4.

Client : How much for the project?
Me : $10,000
Client : I will give you $72.

Wife: what are you thinking about?

Me: how to optimize key storage in a binary tree

Wife: forget that I asked

If you can't convince them, confuse them!

:O Amazing!!

Meanwhile,in an Indian movie , a medical student carries a UNIX book 📚😅😂.

Salary negotiation

Data privacy is a thing of past...

Damn Dijkstra!