Tomorrow is my last day at work and I found the perfect farewell message

tbd - to be dishonest

!rant - Story:

I got accepted to the university of Osnabrück!

Finally! I've had a though time.
After kindergarten kids went to primary school while I had to go to a place called "Vorschule". Kids with disabilities go there. I, for one, was not physically disabled. I was psychologically disabled.
My German was not that good. My native language is Turkish. I had to spend 1 or 2 years there, before I was able to attend the primary school like the normal kids.

In the primary school a few teachers started making racist comments. I didn't really understand them, but my father did. After 2 years of attending that school, I switched to another primary school and continued with everything there.

In the secondary school (comprehensive school) I got bullied a lot. I was getting racist comments on a daily basis. Even by some teachers. Whereas some other teachers were showing it indirectly.

In the same school a teacher made me get a bad grade in one subject on purpose. Thus I got a bad certificate. Not the certificate I deserved.

I spent a year in economics after the secondary school. I was in a vocational school. I didn't like it, because I wasn't really interested in economics.

"Why did you choose that then?" you might ask. That's a legitimate question.

I didn't get accepted in anything related to informatics.

Anyways, I got bullied there, too. Physically beaten by trouble makers in my class and mentally by a french teacher.
He told me that I will not be able to get my certification that allows me to attend a university after me telling him that I will change the school and try it again in informatics. Several times.

I was in the new vocational school after that one. It was very stressful.
I, again, got bullied there. But this time not by the kids, but by some abusive teachers and directors.

One of them was a racist moron. My ex-PE teacher. He someday told me that I won't be able to achieve anything in my life.

I was always naive and kind of let all these words destroy my future plans in my head, but I had a little bit of hope nonetheless.

Today, I got a letter in which it was written that I got accepted to the university of Osnabrück!

Omg! I'm so fucking happy! I could explode! (A lil racist pun)

Oouh night, why u go so fast? I have to note all that ideas u fucking gave to me of that stupid 700 lines algorithm's issue. Be nice just fucking once or just pass it to day and let me fucking sleep!

#geekswillbegeeks

Dear college,
You could have just spared yourself by just using Linux.

Logic Gem found at work today.

if (value != null) {
return value;
} else {
return null;
}

😂 😂😂😂😂😂

Happens all the time.

Real HR policy ...

HR Manager in Heaven!!!

One day while walking down the street a highly successful HR Manager was hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was greeted by God himself.

"Welcome to Heaven," said God. "

"Well, What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman.

"Sorry, we have rules."

And with that God put the HR Manager in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.

The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the hell wt beautiful golf course. And a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. they talked about old times.
She met the Devil who was really a nice guy and She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave.

Everybody waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found God waiting for her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and God came and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in hell and in heaven. Now u must choose ur eternity,"

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So God escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.

The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her smiled and said:
...
...
...
....
....

"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee".😁😁😁
☝dedicated to all companies

Fuck you gas company for back billing me 1500...I don't need you...built my own heating system...and with my managed pdu I can switch on remotely so its warm when I get home...so you can shove your heating app up your arse as well

Me: 1 is something, 0 is nothing, NULL is the absence of things
JuniorDev: wut
Me: You've got pizza in a box, that's 1. If there's no pizza in the box, that's 0. If there's no pizza and no box, that's NULL.
JuniorDev: OOH so there's no object to reference if I ask for a slice!
Me: *small tear*

Always explain things in terms of pizza. Always.

rant?
When you want to write the unit test that demonstrates a subtle bug, but before recreating the same preconditions you end up writing 15 other tests, testing a lot of other stuff too, that in turn show other bugs, and skyrocketing the coverage (that was sitting at 0% actually).
Like I wanted to repair a hole in my umbrella to not get wet, and built a house instead.

For a developers ranting social media platforms, it sure seems strange that we can't format code snippets... 🤔

At least something like `foo(bar){}` would be awesome!

Going through code left by a senior developer who quit.. Dated 2015..

public static T IfThenElse<T>(bool isTrue, T ifYes, T ifNo)
{
if(isTrue) { return ifNo ; }
else if(!isTrue) { return ifNo ;}
Debugger.Break();
throw new Exception("") ;
}
.....
There was a unit test for it well
....
............. Wow, just wow

I've forgot root password to open this one...Seems no soda for me today

The team of interns I'm working with are all off this week. I was given 2 skilled colleagues to cover for them. We had our first scrum today:

Boss: so what are you working on?
Me: I'm adding new feature 1 + 2.
Boss: and you?
Colleague: I am ... removing the shit

8 hobits == 1 hobyte

Some psychopath in my office keeps refilling the toilet rolls so they roll out towards the wall.

Working on my boss's code. Spent over a day trying to figure out why the array wasn't working to discover it's custom built to start at one.

Doing office work now, no technical tasks... but after working with MS office a while, I'm thinking to add c:\users\me\documents folder to Git.

Group projects make me realise why Batman works alone.

Found in the source code of a site. Interesting.

That. Simple.

Writing some code on a flight

"ARE YOU HACKING?!?!"
"Ugh... Well yeah but not in the way you're thinking"
"Omg I'm getting a flight attendant"

Needless to say I'm still en route because the flight attendant realized that I'm not Mr Robot, nor do I have ZeroCool scribbled on my laptop anywhere.

Hahahaja!

Big congrats to @tahnik - the first devRant member to break 10,000 points!

Everyone gets a lot of ++ with good programming jokes and I'm sitting here like...

Speaking of Go.

defer() is like blessing.

Every time I code in Python, especially asyncio code, I wish it has something similar.

Does anyone else read !important as not important?

The best job denial letter I've ever seen was sent to my husband and said:
- We already have too many people named Eugen in our company.