• Manager : WTF did you push, now it keeps crashing all the servers.

• Me : (silent, I'm trying to speak but nothing is coming out. Felt like someone in coma).

• Someone else shouts at boss : Now we now have 47 major crisis bridges​.

[I went running for the door to get away from everything.]

Only to find myself rolling on the floor tangled in my bedsheets after falling from my bed. Realized it was all but a nightmare.

Went to get some water. While taking the first sip...
Me: Shit, I'm late for work AGAIN.

Running for the door again. Then stopped to think if this is all some fuckin premonition. Hurriedly went for my phone to find out it's nothing but Sunday.

I'm thinking about a career switch now. No more devops once this is over.

HTML: Hate This Meaningless Life
CSS: Can't Style Shit
JS: Just Shit
Java: Just another vicious asshole
PHP: PHP Hates People
Go: (the "fuck yourself" is silent)
.NET: Now Everybody Thinks (they can code)

I really should find a more productive thing to do on my breaks.

Sometimes, LinkedIn does work for you I guess!

How cute *_*

I'll start implementing this in my apps too.

Teacher: What is recursion?

Me: This https://www.devrant.io/rants/533667

*listens to music using Samsung earphones*
Person next to me: Nice song
Neighbor: Nice song
Aliens: Nice song

Actually finish a proj.... Oh I'm sorry I got distracted and started a new projec... Oh look a bird...

This happened at my previous job where I worked for a dating app. It was at a time where the CEO was trying to turn the dating app into “more than a dating app” by adding tons of social features. We always had “interests” which allowed users to see what interests they had in common with another person, but he wanted to take the social component even further.

So with that, he decided we needed an “activity feed.” The activity feed would show what various Facebook connected users were liking on Facebook, posting on Facebook, etc. On a dating app. Where the majority of the audience was > 50 years old. The idea was absolutely ridiculous and everyone but the CEO knew it was destined for failure before we started building it.

But that’s not the best part. The best part was when we launched the activity feed component. We launched it late on day and went home shortly after. The next morning, we came in, and checked on the activity feed to see what was doing. It was literally all spammers liking porn/sex related stuff on Facebook. It was a complete disaster. All garbage but not just boring garbage - completely obscene garbage.

And just like that, the activity feature came and went in the course of a few days.

Every now and then... try this.

#mindhacks 😎

When the normal cream doesn't do the job...

One of the many joys in a programmers life

When you're browsing web with firefox and accidentally opens new window instead of new tab

Me Visiting a new location...

*Device found a new wi-fi signal:
worldsMostSecureRouter

*Enter password:
worldsMostSecureRouter123

*Authorizing...
*Obtaining IP address
*Connected

Yo mama's so fat that if she sat on a binary tree she will convert it into a linked list in O(1) time

Dear programmers everywhere who keep your blogs running for years after you stop posting: Thank you!

So I barely get home and I see my 10 year old sister in the living room coding with the Xcode Playground, I asked her where she learned how to do that and she said "I just read the books you had." I'm so proud. 😭🤘🏼

I speak two languages. English and Test data.

English: Hello!
Test data: adfadavsdfafDafdada

*Working on personal project*

Don't get excited about another project
Don't get excited about another project
Don't get excited about another project
Don't get excited about another project

...DAMNIT