Oh cool. We are like assassins or hookers. 🤔

devRant raised from 10 to 15 on a single rant for stickers.

Yeah, well, I’m gonna go print my own stickers with blackjack and hookers… In fact forget the stickers.

Fine I'm gonna make my own GitHub then with Blackjack and hookers.

I'm gonna build my own Blockchain, with blackjack and hookers.

I just realized that CPU's are essentially electronic hookers, for processes.

They'll service any process that calls upon them, but keep switching between various processes so that it can spend time fairly with each of its processes. And of course, they'll immediately abandon their current process if one with a higher priority reveals itself and attend to that one instead. Once it is finished, it'll return to its less-important processes.

Kinda sounds like a hooker to me... 🤔

Yep. So the dev teams boss says it's fine to run a production environment on a single Windows instance with the db on that same instance, which they already totally lost once from a reboot after an auto update before I came along tasked with fixing the cluster fuck they created.

This from a man who somehow runs a dev team while using gmail via the web because he can't use an email client, uses email to track tasks but can't because they get lost amongst his 3000+ unread emails, has a screen dirtier than a hookers vag on half priced Tuesday, and got a new laptop but had to get his daughter to set it up and transfer his data because he couldn't.

But ok... you have a degree, You must know what you're doing.
It's ok though, I'll keep covering your incompetent ass while you keep raping the company because no one listens.
Peoples ignorance and arrogance astounds me.

Hookers and Cocaine

I'm so fucking sick of the lack of great modern open source DB tooling.

MySQL Workbench can go suck a big fat herpes-ridden cock, it's horrible.

Dbeaver is a clunky 90's tool, which charges two Netflixes (yes, that is a valid $/month monetary unit) just to connect to a NoSQL DB.

Datagrip is nice, but has the same outrageously expensive pricing. I paid for it, and couldn't use it for my local docker DB during my holiday because it couldn't connect to the license server. Fuck you, Jetbrains. Your software is nice, but your DRM makes me hate you.

And then ERD software... It's either some hard-to-use afterthought piece of crap bundled with the DB IDE, some generic diagramming tool which makes DB-specific work needlessly unergonomic, or some vendor-locked online tool.

Fuck this shit, I'm making my own DB admin tool. With blackjack. And hookers. 😡

Finally getting a raise. 90% salary increase, feels good.
Feels like I can finally start saving for a home and stuff. Too scared of STDs to blow it in hookers so nothing left but investment and savings.
Also messed up and posted as a question.

Hookers, cocaine and video games

Dear Panicked Managers,

We are behind. We all know we are behind, and I would love to spend 10 hours fixing our shit.

Instead, your shit riddled brains decided that WAY too many demos, with practice demos, are the correct move! We are wasting 8 hours a week, per person working on them! That means we lose a day of development, but you are not moving deadlines and still complaining about the amount of throughput!

In those 8 hours a week, we could all build the new features, and you could throw an orgy, do lots of cocaine, beat hookers to death, do whatever CEOs do! Instead, you call us to all gather around and listen to you bitch that shit isn't getting done...

Sincerely,
Pissed Off

Problems with redis... timeout everywhere...

30k READs per minute.

Me : Ok, How much ram are we actually using in redis ?

Metrics : Average : 30 MB

Me ; 30 MB, sure ? not 30 GB ?

Metrics : Nop, 30 MB

Me : fuck you redis then, hey memory cache, are you there ?

Memory cache : Yep, but only for one instance.

Me ok. So from now on you Memory cache is used, and you redis, you just publish messages when key should be delete. Works for you two ?

Memeory cache and redis : Yep, but nothing out of box exists

Me : Fine... I'll code it my selkf witj blackjack and hookers.

Redis : Why do I exist ?

FUCK IT

After YEARS of research, I couldn't find a single working load testing tool

So this weekend I created my own. With blackjack and hookers.

It's limited to my app, so not reusable, but wow in 1 weekend I got more data and found more infra problems than in the past 3 years.

Cocain and Hookers

Throw it away and make a new one. With blackjack and hookers.

Blackjack. And hookers. You know what, forget the career.

These two liters of water one should drink per day sound like a lot.
However, four pints go down faster than a hookers panties after she's been paid...

My boss just said “as long as it puts a smile on the clients face, it’s worth examining, within reason.” Yeaaa that’s a bit broad... Some of our clients only smile when they have hookers and blow on hand. Is it reasonable to help them acquire such if it helps retain them as a customer?!

I have a complex about my nose. I was about to bite the fucking bullet and do something about it. Literally just waiting for the procedure room to be ready, when I kept asking myself wtf I was doing. Then looked at my nose again and realized that it really wasn't that big a deal. Not when compared to dealing with internal bleeding and pain for weeks, plus a painful procedure.

Even after all these years, all these accomplishments, all this experience, I'm still a dumb fuck.

Now then, I'll go put some of the money I didn't waste to good use. Like videogames, hookers, and blow. Probably just the former.

FUCK YOU NODE JS AND FUCL YOU SYNOLOGY

Decided to give an old Synology DiskStation that sits at home slme new life besides just sharing files. Since Synology has SSH but not a full Linux OS, installed DebianChroot (so far so good). At one point I needed Node JS, so installed NVM and tried to install Node. Well guess what didn't work. Tried a few more things including directly downlosding node from the official node website. Trying different versions, the whole drill.

After about 5 hours of installing and errors, well really usfull errors like "There where 2 errors during installation" WELL HOW ABOUT YOU FUCKING TELL ME WHAT THE ERROR IS YOU FUCKING FUCK!

I found a formum wkith a guy haveing similar problems. Able to install legacy 0.10.x versions but not 4.x.x. Or 6.x.x oder whatever. He found that you have to have at least an ARMv6 compatible processor, otherwise it won't run. Checked it and well, that old fuck of mine only has ARMv5. FUCK! But honestly. You detect it's an ARM architecture. You detect it's not one of the v6 or v7, you try to install the general arm version, BUT YOU DON'T GET THE FUCKING IDEA TO MENTION TO CHECK WAHAT VERSION YOU HAVE AND IF THAT IS SUPORTED BY FUCKING NODE!

One afternoon wasted, at least I got a little more wisdom. Fuck do I hate Node now. On the bright side, I've ordered a Raspberry Pi and two cases for Harddisks, I'll create my own diskstation with blackjack and hookers (I realy hope you get that reference)! Fuck you Synology and Node JS (yeah yeah, it's not Synologies fault, but I'm mad anyways!)

iPhone XSMax running iOS 14. Otherwise running normally.

DevRant app runs like old people fuck.

Is it just me?

Troubleshooting tips?

What’s this app written in? Is there a DevRant API? I’ll write my own DevRant app with blackjack and hookers.

Social life is overrated, I can always get some with alcohol, blackjack and hookers.

Cocain and Hookers

looking back its going to amaze future generations how stupid we were to waste so many energy related resources on creating a fake currency just so people could pay for hookers.

Just stop and take a moment to think about things you enjoy. Like being able to afford food and rent and hookers and drugs, and how awful it would be to not be able to afford those things.

Whenever I stumble upon a tedious situation I want to start writing an app that does that. I don't start that though because I now realize I can't write an app for everything because I don't have time for that.

Whenever I see an inadequate app I want to create my own app, with blackjack. And hookers!

Dear Bethesda, Long time no rant eh?
So, I Pre-ordered your mess called Fallout 76! I was hyped! But you fucktards just fucked everything from behind...
Shit Graphics, over 1001 bugs, everything...
I didnt play it much so, I didnt think about it until now... now when my Drives called, "Porn", "more porn" and "a fuckton of porn" are full, and whats the biggest game ive installed? Yes. Fallout 76... I uninstalled this mess and wanted a refund of my 95.60CHF, Which is A LOT for a game... and you fucks lurking in the background replied with "players who have downloaded the game are not eligible for a refund." Aka: "We now have your money, bought some cheap hookers with it, and now dont have it anymore JK LOOOOL XDDD"
Yeah, and my friend who wanted a refund, got it. Fuck off bethesda, take your shitty shit of a shit piece of shit game with you and fly away with it.
I cant take it anymore...
OH, AND DID I MENTION YOU PUT AN AD ON YOUR MAIL?! Like this:
We have your money now, but please waste more on it on our other shit games.
FUCK OFF!

My DNS provider does not have an API. They do have one... That is wrong... But on the description page, they say we have to open a ticket to be given access. No requirements. Nothing...

And then I am told "they do no longer offer dns for private hosting". I don't even host with them, I only have a domain with them.

But the magical word is no longer. That means they did offer it. In the description of the API it still says "and for everyone who feels comfortable interacting with a REST API." Oh, and they asked anyone who works on it to be so nice and share any SDK's they might have coded up. Would have shared my SDK. Would have... If no Rust SDK was available yet.

So, what the fuck...
The problem with that is that I need a wildcard certificate for my homelab with DNS validation. So, I need to dynamically set a txt record. Now I wonder... Was this done on purpose? They are selling wild card certificates. Letsencrypt are giving them out for free. I bet they deactivated it, so they can sell more...

Anyway. Solution time.
Short term: I make my own API with black jack and hookers... And selenium.
Long term: I need to fucking move my domains to a different provider.

But what the fuck... What the fuck?

200$ just to give a Databricks Certification Exam? And if I fail there’s no reattempts? I’d rather fuck 2 hookers for that much money.

What's your idea of a perfect number?
Mine is:

default decimal, prefix for binary, octal, hex

Integers in natural notation with strictly positive exponent

All bases allow natural notation, where the exponent is always a decimal number and represents the power of the base (0b101e3 = 0b101000)

Floats in all bases allow a combination of natural notation and dot notation

Underscores allowed anywhere except the beginning and end for easier reading