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Since one of my colleagues had a difficult time saying/spelling the word SpamAssassin, it's now officially (in our office):
Spam Ass Ass In
😏3 -
Qualification != proficiency
Worked at a company where this bloke (Jepediah mcShitFart we shall call him) had enough programming certs and qualifications to fill a page.
I was the one fixing his fuck ups, because he coded like his ass, debugged like his ass, talked like an ass, and used to shrug off responsibility like an ass. Hr did nothing because he 'was a long time employee'.
Plus, I have met hundreds of programmers who would put many to shame, and they don't have a single qualification.10 -
Wait so I'm not allowed Spotify but it's alright for a manager to stream movies?
Don't give that we're not licensed to play music pretty sure we're not a licensed cinema either.
Either it's one rule for all or none at all enjoy your productivity dip from the dev team.8 -
And here I am creeped the fuck out by Google (as always) suggesting me to take photos of the bakery I'm at while having location and WiFi turned off :)18
-
Boss: We want this feature ASAP, how will it take from your time?
Me:*giving honest estimation* about 4 days, there are many details to handle..
Boss: oh, we need it tomorrow evening, I said to the client it'll be ready..
SO WHY YOU ASKING ME FOR ESTIMATION YOU F**
😠🤬12 -
This is going to be a long rant, coz this is the only way to vent out my frustration against our tech head.
Yesterday, while our fucking twat tech head was playing around in company aws account, he terminated the production server. By mistake, apparently. Coz he doesn't know shit about server management. But that egoist ass won't admit and fucked the production server.
And then ran away. We developers sprang into action. Updated dns to point to staging server, setup virtual hosts, env files, point to prod database, force flush dns cache. All systems were up and running in 30 mins. And since it was staging server, it had lot of untested features and codes, and we spent rest of the day fixing the bugs.
And that tech head, who ran away hiding his tail between his legs, after he fucked the server, came back after systems were up. And started cracking jokes, that "so many features got released in 1 day" . "We cut server cost by shutting down 1 server."
We were struggling and working in full throttle to make the services running again. And that fuckity fucker was cracking jokes.
And I don't even know what excuse he gave to ceo for the downtime. I am pretty sure he would have made up some crappy excuse to hide his fucking mistake. That ass never admits his mistake. I am thinking to go to ceo today and tell the real story and get that faggot head fired or at least a strict warning.4 -
STUPID SHIT ASS EMAIL POLICIES NOT ALLOWING ME TO SEND CERTAIN FILE TYPES TO A SUPPORT MEMBER WHEN THERE ARE FUCKING PROBLEMS WITH THE PRODUCTION SITE. THE GUY THAT SET UP THOSE POLICIES CAN ROLL THEM UP AND STICK THEM IN HIS ASS.
There that's better...10 -
My boss now has me writing an angular app but I'm not allowed to reuse components. The retard level is over 90005
-
Just discovered that we are loading 200k for a custom font on one of our platforms...
200k FOR A FUCKING FONT?!? FOR REAL??? ITS NOT EVEN FUCKING DIFFERENT ON SIGHT!
So I sarcastically asked why the fuck are we using it and my coworker said its because the designer designed (duh) the layout this way...
Look... Usually I'm a quiet person and I don't rant in real life but this time I could not restrain myself.15 -
I just got told on a video meeting that I am far too pretty to be a developer.
To be fair, I am well aware of this, most devs I have met on the wild are some ugly ass motherfuckers.
I is a pretty ass mfker.41 -
Dumb ass management. Picked a different technology for us without consulting our technical team...3
-
Who the fuck told my coworkers I'm their boss when our boss is on vacation?
Wtf, I don't wanna be anyone's boss, no one should want me as such...
I would certainly micromanage the shit out of everyone and make their lives a living hell.5 -
Things happened this year so far in chronological order:
Applied to PhD and got all rejected
Graduated without a job because I thought the last event wouldn’t happen
Decided to take more shots at universities in Europe and Canada
Paper got published and got best paper honorable mention
Interviewed by couple professors and the one in Canada seems to be interested in me
School in Canada, which rejected me before, reopened my case for review
Bank account got closed because my parents transferred me some money to support my unemployment ass and bank thought it was a fraud
The review process took so long I got hopeless and thought, if I end up writing webpages for other people, why not doing it now? And did two webpages which are in my previous rant, pretty good and highly recommended imo
Canada school promised a date but didn’t follow that date, depression attack
Finally sent them an email and got an answer saying the admission approved my application and they are working on paper work. But I still don’t believe it because I’m paranoid
Got an email from a professor today confirming they are doing paper work and I should receive official paper soon.
You can see the dramatic ups and downs, but in the end, guess I’m going to Toronto for phd12 -
Android, you fucking cunt!
Battery saving, yes it's an important thing. So first you want applications to display a big-ass notification when they're running in the background. Fair enough, it can be hidden away by the user if they want to.
But now there's a big-ass notification and the applications STILL get force closed?!! If I'm browsing Tor and I have Orbot running, don't you think that I might want to KEEP IT RUNNING?!! Or better yet, if I'm connected to my VPN server and the application is actively using the VPNService API, DON'T YOU THINK THAT THAT SHOULDN'T BE CLOSED?!!!
But yeah, ARTIFICIAL FUCKING INTELLIGENCE is doing some leety-ass fucking battery saving. MY FUCKING ASS CAN DO BETTER BATTERY SAVING!!!13 -
At first I got excited about the new MacBook Air specs. Then I saw the price... It's a fucking joke to spend so much money for this trash ass hardware you get for it. I mean 1400€ for dual core 8gb ram 128gb ssd?!?!?!
Fuck you8 -
Pls send help. I having problems with following code:
Human h = WildOrangutan
.getInstance();
Ass ass = h.getAss();
Toilet toilet = new Toilet();
ass.attachTo(toilet);
while (ass.hasOutput()) {
ass.output();
h.readDevrant();
}
ass.detach(toilet);
// This throws
// OutOfToiletPaperException
ass.clean();9 -
Whenever I'm trying new tech at work I don't keep interrupting people ta help me with error messages because ITS A FUCKING NEW TECH AND NO ONE WORKS WITH THAT SHIT!
WHY THE FUCK YOU KEEP ASKING ME FOR HELP WITH YOUR FUCKED UP NODE SHIT AFTER I TOLD YOU THAT I DON'T LIKE IT? STOP IT!3 -
holy fucking hell, who’s dumb ass idea was it to make Visual Studio require a god damn fucking update for the installer before I can uninstall it, you stupid ass dumb fucks MS, I didn’t just tell you uninstall it so you can go burn more data down my shitty copper pipes.3
-
He fails at managing his time and can't finish his tasks in work days ... suggests to work on the weekend and drags the whole team with him.
Sorry mate, but I ain't fucking working on weekend !
Team lead my ass 😡😡9 -
Is it too much to ask for the dumb ass devs behind Eclipse to fucking let a FRESH install - no plugins yet, open without crashing?
is that even a thing?
Fuck you Eclipse, and companies that make me use this useless pile of shit!
7 -
If some yampy bloke ask me bout the origin of my username again imma shove a can of ice cold monster™ energy drink up em ass (: Is it hard to look it up?? (Dont look it up tho, it porn)
So it a funky ass breakbeat/chiptune kinda album. Sod off.
16 -
I got two lines of code done today, and they were just changing numeric defines. Time to do that: 2 seconds.
Time for analysing the measurement data of various runs in order to know which numbers will work out: the rest of the day.4 -
"yes, a university degree isn't necessary to become successful, but that doesn't mean you can waste your time playing games or watching youtube for half a day.
stop complaining about the system and get your ass to work. do something, anything. stop fucking around with your life."
...is what i told a friend and he hasn't messaged me for 2 weeks. i see him on discord all the time, playing runescape or some shit.
i'm 24 and he's 22. he dropped out because he was too lazy to go to uni every 2 days.5 -
Bloody hell I have been stuck for two hours on a problem and couldn't find any solutions. So naturally I asked my Senior for help. I was trying to export a js file like :
---------config.js--------
module.export = function (app){
//code here
}
-----------Index.js------------
var config = require('./config.js')
config(app)
but it would throw an error saying config is not a function. Wasted two hours only for my senior to point out that I missed an "s" in module.export 😑
Feels so stupid. bloody ass.6 -
A group of computer science geeks were listening to a lecture about Java programming at a university.
After the lecture, one of the men leaned over and grabbed a woman’s breast.
Woman: Hey! That’s private OK ?
The man hesitated for a second looking confused.
Man: But I thought we were in the same class1 -
I just bought an amazing Bluetooth headphone but I'm really FUCKING PISSED because when its charging the led flashes green and when it is charged it flashes some fucking other tone of green and as someone who has daltonism it makes me really fucking frustrated because I can't say tell the difference even if my life depended on it... PLEASE DONT BE THE STUPID CUNT THAT DESIGNS SHIT LIKE THAT! JUST MAKE IT NON COLOR DEPENDANT FOR FUCK SAKE!
Thanks.4 -
Today,
My "big boss" call me because I take too much time to develop a website. She thinks all I need to do is drag n drop. Why the f*ck do you need to hire me if it's only drag n drop you "super smart ass licker"? Man, this old people need some update about technology.
Btw, the "drag n drop" idea came from Dreamweaver YouTube tutorial.2 -
Tries to be an ass to someone annoying, somehow ends up being nice to them. *facepalm*
--next day--
Tries to be nice to someone, ends up being an ass to them. *sigh*3 -
Motherfuckin fuckidy duck fuck!
I am so done with Azure for today!
After I ran out of space on a secondary drive I shut the VM down and increased said drive and now after starting it (which takes way too long already) I can't ssh into it: "Connection refused". Diagnostics say "everything is fine bruh" and now I'm stuck with an inaccessible VM which I already spent half the night on configuring and downloading 60gb of sources.. aaargh!7 -
Your favourite comment?
My team was working on a legacy system, one part of it is an assistant, sadly required as global variables.
Being a non-english-first-language company, some dev years ago thought shortening said assistant to "ass" would be a wise idea - less to type, right?
When we redid the application 2016 part-by-part, our code needed to define 3-4 global variables starting with the "ass" prefix for the legacy parts to work. The colleague who was tasked with this is a fine gentleman from England.
Later as I read through the commit, I found 5 lines of code following 20 lines of comments explaining and deeply apologizing for "ass", "ass_open", etc.
The same dev also had a "HACK OF THE YEAR" comment he moved around when time constraints made a less-than-optimal fix necessary which was worse than the last "highscore".1 -
I have to work with an unbelievable stubborn (and incompetent) "project Manager)
He just actually tried to convince us that leading 0 in some" hexadecimal" strings get truncated.
I know that does not sound like something to lose the mind over, but these wrong facts do come up ever so often. It knaws on my sanity.6 -
Dear school,
even when I'm drunk like now, i still feel a pain in the ass, you know, like if i tried to do a fcking reverse tombstone with a beer bottle in my asshole.
This is the end of my sixth year. Yup, 3 years network/system admin, and now 3 years programming.
Now what, you were useless, didn't teach me anything, i feel like the chimp's sperm filled leprous mare that write planning for the year just want us to learn french and laws.(oh, the chimp as IST prolly.)
You ruinned me, I'm fcking poor now, but i have a degree (yolo)..
Well, you gave me some friends.. thanks for that you dumbass.
Dear teacher, i want to know, why are you so incompetent ? I mean, did you find your degree in Mother of shit' school as me ?
And also, pleaseee : next time i get an exam on a specific software that runs only on windows, i'll probably kill the fcking entire classroom, and this include you, and your merkel's ass licker familly.
That's it, random post, some hate, sorry fellow ranters, have a good day!4 -
I don't understand how people can write code, but be completely inept at developing software.
Take a zoom feature:
SOLUTION 0:
- Use 2 buttons
- Use 2 button listeners
- Use 2 float variables (for each button).
- Don't log anything.
- Use 3 crazy, hardcoded, constant, int literals like 66, 30...
- both buttons manipulate the same text field.
- no logging.
- Both listeners use if/else to check if the variable is within a range -- one if/else for each listener.
- Use crazy method calls to get text size.
SOLUTION 1:
- Use a slider.
- Use a single listener.
- No variables needed.
- Use a linear equation for zooming.
- has logging.
8 -
Fuck CSS
Fuck it in the ass
With a baseball bat
Lubbed with hot souce.
Want to change from this : http://rjpf.ddns.net/ to http://rjpf.ddns.net/index5.html
First uses w3 framework
Second is using css grid with no framework.
Did everything right as I saw on tutorials (no copy paste)
Only uses 25% of the screen
Now I understand why everyone tells me to use bostrap... But noooo I must learn css
Ps: not gonna learn frameworks without knowing pure css9 -
Stupid ass nimble fucker of an old friend talks to me for a whole week after a reunion saying stuff like "I'm glad we got to spent time together bro and stuff", the soul eater of poop being sets up a conversation over a week talking like he was a true friend. He only had to manage it for a week more, hell he had to resist his urge for a puny ass week and I would've considered that maybe good people existed. Well the universe along with this Pseudo-panty fuck decided it was time, they pitch me an "idea". Well after demonstrating kindly that I could technically pull (n) such ideas from my virtual butthole. The guy finally believes his idea was stupid and moves away. A minute later. SURPRISE MOTHER FUCKER! he says, telling me that he got an amazing idea along and if I could help him with some stuff. Well.. What? I jumped at this amazing opportunity. Not because of the dangling-dickina of an idea, because this was my way out of this misery fucks life. Alright should buy me some time right? He would go watch some tutorials, make a logo and call me when there's a problem. We'll in the milli fucking time that even a big bang couldn't have recurred, the bitch calls and says.. Bro, sorry for disturbing you, I need some help... [What did your mother from another son tell you she only gave birth to half of you?]
APPARENTLY, THE GUY JOINED FORCES WITH SOME INTELLIGENT MINDS AND SETUP A LEAGUE OF LIKE MINDED NECROPHILES AND I COULD HELP THIS DREAM TEAM with a name and a logo.
It started, I could sense it. I wasn't THE CHOSEN ONE. Tired, I said I'll see what I can do while attempting to block his number. A few hours later, he calls from another number with no shame and asks BRO? DID YOU. Did me what you bloody dick lubricator. Yeah I watched your mom a couple times, then I got bored when I found out it was an ad.
Unfortunately no I did not tell that, instead I used the kindest words I could pull out of my frustrated ass to tell him I won't do it cause I have better things to do.
The guy comes back a few hours later with an emotional back-story of how this is his way out of his sad ass life and saying stuff like sorry to disturb you bro, I never meant to.
Oh my gawd! Give this douche manufacturer an Oscar. Actually give him two!!
————
After this traumatic experience I often feel for such people. They have around 90 years to live. They have a free fucking brain. They have money. They have less problems.
Why can't they come up with a worthy idea with all these factors to compound the ideation process.
And why on the earth can't they make the Idea on their own. I'm completely self taught so I don't see it being a problem. I could well say that I'm more knowledgeable than a few grads out of my stupid college but I don't wanna compare myself to those stupid beings.
If you have an idea? Make it. Die for it. But never approach another being, either he eats you or you eat him.4 -
So I made a message board and posted it here at devrant
Now there’s a user with username Ass and I don’t know what to do about that situation…. I don’t want to remove him from user, but all he posts is ass…
Fuck me
18 -
Customers thought it was funny that the obvious abbreviation for for a thing today was "ASS". They joked about that being a column in a menu.
So I did it.
They've got their very own "Ass" menu item in production.
7 -
Riddle me this
Client wants solution based on open source software.
Any additional software that I write (let's say, an offline store plugin for Feast feature store) to add missing functionality has to be closed source.
Fuck you. Intellectual property my ass. You and me wouldn't even have projects if it werent for OSS.
Good luck maintaining the plugin after I am gone.
I'm doing a lot of work and will have close to nothing to show to future employers.
(BTW, if it were for the old Microsoft model of code source, I would have never become a programmer of any sort. God bless OSS)3 -
Why the fuck everything I make breaks in fucking IE. Microsoft just fucking realize its shot software already. I am sick of doing alternative code for your dumb ass broke, non-updating ass, waterfall method fucking ass, software.12
-
Was trying to add file to git, command didn't work.
After few minutes, I found that I was writing:
> git ass SOME_FILE
heh how funny..4 -
First off murphy is a bitch. Week started off good, nothing bad happening then friday night came and i get an email about a site being down. Ok check it out real quick, cert is expired. No real big deal just a 20 minute fix, didn't bother me that i didn't get an expiry alert. Now is where murphy decided to be the biggest fucking bucktoothed cocksucker, generate a csr for a wildcard domain using an existing key and sent it off when i get it back the private key doesn't match the cert. Again ok maybe i fucked up, generate a selfsigned cert no fucking problem. Contact support to see if they have an idea. Oh now is when it gets fun, the fucking dumbass preceded to tell me how i didn't know what i was doing and how i just had to generate a csr and private key at the same time after i explained to the bastard that I've already tested it with a selfsigned cert. (How does this fucker have a job) By now apparently i was pissed off enough to scare murphy's pansy ass away cause i told the fucker to refund my money, got a list of 30 subdomains and setup letsencrypt on it. Now the part on this that is fucking hilarious is that it took me damn near 24 hours to be called a fucking idiot from a guy that doesn't know his ass between a hole in the fucking ground and 30 minutes of being pissed off more than i have been since i took anger management classes in the 9th grade to say fuck it and switch.7
-
I guess it has to do with the kind of background that I have. But I always get contacted by government contractors for development jobs. On one side I think: oh nice, stable income and benefits plus the addition of this kind of work to my resume.
On the other I cannot help but yawn at how incredibly boring these jobs sound. For those that might recall some of my comments from certain posts: i am a job mercenary.
I will code in anything that pays me well and i won't give two shits about the stack.
But man, some of these fuckers can really put me to sleep while reading their specifications or projects requirements and I cannot help but feel completely and utterly BORED.
In short: si pero no.5 -
I fucking hate everyone who sends me a voice message, Just text me motherfucker how can I find some info we discussed earlier, you want me to listen to all your stupid messages with your lazy ass voice to only find the shit I'm looking for.3
-
No matter how much I try my boss keeps trying to shove future or unsolicited features on every fucking current sprint as if we weren't delayed already...
Wtf dude? We get paid by delivery, let's just fucking deliver what they expect by each deadline and move on...5 -
That moment when your company switches developers from salary to hourly to avoid paying anyone more and skirts the new federal requirements.7
-
I just had to explain a friend of mine, an "engineering" student, how to copy and paste text in MS Word over the phone for half an hour. It's 12:30 in the night and I am frustrated as fuck9
-
Fren: yo check this IC out
[blinks]
"Okay, s-"
[suddenly bitch ass contraption squirts milk on my face]
[bitch ass fren runs]
,w, <(motherfucker y u do dis) -
Just figured out that while I was on vacation they made a really well thought (not) decision to switch to Firebase despite having 4 fully managed VPS with low usage.
Wanna know what the big deal is?
The only one who looks like knows anything is the fucking intern.
I was trying to understand the thought process and everything revolved around "its real time" argument.
No one knows how the api really works, the benefits of "real time" , and we are using the free plan :)
Yeah... People really do overthink things here... -
rant!
Fuuuuuuuuuuck..... why is CSS so fucking ASS when it comes to working the way it is supposed to. Why would someone create such a broken tool.
end rant.
Thats all, have a good day.3 -
It's not the "age of AI" you dissecated nutsack munching buffoon, you could lick and suckle my delicious tits with that grandiose old tongue you have, if only it wasn't so profoundly infected with feces of every consistency and color.
Your word, for the two shits it's worth, is still better spent elsewhere than promoting falsehood, giving importance to that which has none, or spreading the belief that a demonstrably unscalable approach still has, somehow, room to grow. It's no fucking s*ndrome but full on imp*sterhood, truly a grand fellowship of pauseless jackoffs.
This is it -- a glorified, disobedient, largely unpredictable autocomplete. A probabilistic bullshit machine. It wouldn't be able to replace you, if only you weren't so fucking stupid.
And yes, I *am* contradicting myself by addressing the incredibly cost inefficient overclocked melting minerstack in the room, but I can hardly make the point without doing it, so shush.
Back to the stone age with this shit. Now pass the fucking joint.1 -
I absolutely fuckin hate sysprep!!!
Fuckin mother fuckin shit cock balls saggy tits wrinkled ass cunt3 -
I get being a noob and trying to learn but don't be a lazy ass by not even knowing if the library you're wanting to use is available for the language you're using it in.
Don't be this guy.
2 -
Products team just hit me up with random requirements straight out of their ass. They know very well my entire team is wrapped up building a new app. Now I respond with random mêmes. Fuck you.5
-
God damnit!!
Just got a team assigned for the course I follow and the codebase they work looks like someone shit on the floor and dragged it all over place. No consistency, no clear structure.
The project has to be built in PHP (which is fine by the way) following the principles of MVC. Did I say the codebase looks like shit all over the place? Well that's exactly what it is!!
They use $_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT'] everywhere!! In every fucking file!! Why the FUCK would someone possibly want to do that??
I know I'm not perfect, but what the fuck!!
Now comes the most weird thing. They have to work on a remote server without SSH access, so working with FTP is mandatory. This is because the school won't setup ssh. That's fine by me, but because of that they don't use git!! They upload files directly to the production server. They merge everything manually. I asked why they didn't use git and the answer was so fucking SHIT!! "Because the teacher wants to see who uploaded to the server.."
First off all: what happened to git blame? Second: Later I heard that there is only one FTP account, so all the things they said where just bullshit!!
The fuck.
Tomorrow I'm going to try and convince them to use git..1 -
I really don't understand why my company is so slow when it comes to change. We have a very small engineering team (<100 people), but it takes MONTHS to get anything done. They have spent the last 4-6 months getting FontAwesome Pro into the platform, been taking 8 months to get engineering levels out the door, and we've been lagging on choosing between React or Angular as our upgrade from AngularJS (yes it is the old one) for a year.
Is this normal? I am on the FE and don't know much about our dependencies, but it should not take this long to make a simple decision. The whole migration process will take time, but be decisive for Jesus' sake.2 -
just saying, NO ONE who has forgotten their username should be expected to remember their password.
have a nice day.2 -
How shit are my colleagues? This shit...
Export class TypescriptClass {
DataHasFinishedLoading: Promise;
doAThing() {
GetData()
. Subscribe(all The Data => {
//do some shit with the data
This. DataHasFinishedLoading = Promise. Resolve(true) ;
} )
}
}
This guy has about 10 years experience doing literally javascript. And this code made it through peer review.1 -
!rant
So recently I've been getting a bit tired of my countrie's slow and outdated-ass politics combined with the old-ass leadership.
I make an effort to come over as a liberal in public when I'm under people but sometimes..sometimes it's getting a bit hard.
8 -
The moment you're declaring variables but keep writing "ASS" because you're typing too fast...
Happy Monday!10 -
Me, or everybody else.
I have bipolar disorder, it’s not entirely a bad thing because sometimes my mind flies and bizarre ideas just flush into my mind, ideas that eventually prove to be useful. However, not everyone can catch up my thinking speed.
This year for my senior capstone project, I teamed up with other three brilliant students. In the middle of the project I proposed a very aggressive method when our initial model failed, but they couldn’t understand my method. Towards the end of the semester I basically finished the project alone and claimed that they were just repeating what I was doing, and they didn’t realize that until the last week. At the end, the guy who’s always in charge of the other two people said that I was right, that the very aggressive method could have worked if given them more time to think about it.
I am both relieved and sorry at that moment. I cannot explain my ideas and that leads to my teams confusion.
I am still the same guy now, haven’t changed, will still be a pain in the ass when work with other people, I tried to be patient, but idk if it was just me being too impatient or others are too dumb.
I really tried......6 -
Fuck I feel fucked up just for completing user account management, authentication, email verification, password reset. Securing all of this with ssl and checking for any security loopholes.
I can't believe this took me more than a couple months.
Well I was lazy and unmotivated.
I fucking hate crafting stupid ass routes in nginx.
I fucking hate making a nice responsive gui.
I have to design even the stupid html for the emails. Fuuuuck.
So much boilerplate on top of that with username and email validation.
I learnt regex 5 times over the past couple months, still not enough.
And now I actually have to build the functional part.
On the plus side I can reuse this stupid boilerplate if I can make it more modular and readable.
There's shit ton of comments to the point where I feel like an idiot for including so much info. It's like I've written it for a toddler to take over.
Gawd. Anyways it's over now. 50% I guess.
I can finish the rest of the server more quickly and then spend another year designing the Android application.
I'm really lazy in places where I have to design UI/UX. Although at this point it's kinda what could put my application at the top. (I'm lazy, I ain't bad.. I just hate implementing my ideas I wish I could just visualize and have it appear on my screen)
I do like parts of gui that involve little math problems that would make motion smooth and efficient. -
Remembers a time when I was considered non-technical founder and not taken seriously as credible tech company leader by smart ass VCs
Years invested in learning, experimenting, building. Now somewhat capable.
Considered too technical to be understood by dumb ass VCs.
😤1 -
Using Oracle ADF along with ADF Faces to build a simple learning management system. No JavaScript, no external stylesheets, all inline styles, no client side validation, doing form submit for every field's onblur event triggering a server-side validation, creating a VO for every damn page requiring data, creating an EO for every DB table or view, adding big-ass custom queries for most EOs to join on multiple tables, frequent N+1 queries, etc.,
Idont remember the rest of the problems5 -
I got some old piece of shit computer from my cousins, they wanted me to retrieve the old pics on it so I did and now I don't know what to do with it.
I spent the day cleaning years of nasty ass dust off of it and wiped the whole case clean + new thermal paste.
Then I was like why tf am I doing all of this effort, this piece of crap has a single core pentium cpu with a whopping 512 MB of Ram and an 80 GB HDD with the worst cpu cooler mounting systems I have ever seen.
I was thinking of installing something like antix linux with pihole on it but the logical thing to do should be to just get a raspberry pi with has a much smaller form factor, performance and is a lot quieter so idk..7 -
— how much for your services?
— $100, no ass to mouth, no rough stuff
— no, I mean how much to rewrite my app in laravel
— I said no ass to mouth3 -
Well, basically 2017 sucked ass. Like a big, fat, hairy, sweaty ass. I did learn quite a bit though, so there's that.
Fingers crossed 2018 is a better year2 -
The gratifying feeling when you save your team's ass with a hotfix, minutes before the stakeholder demo3
-
So a friend / batch-mate in our accelerator asked me if I was okay with installing a monitoring software for a client our startups are collaborating for. And the said client was ranting how I've been appearing offline to him since morning...
Bitch I'm already letting you monitor my shit from morning to night, I don't need your French ass snooping around what I'm doing outside of office hours.
Fucker. -
It is this time of the year that I get to work on a shitty project to add some new functionality to it, it is a front end part of the project which before was externally developed, so now I have to deal with this BS Marionette mess where nothing they wrote comply to standards, like the fucking router.js doesn't look anything like the Marionettes doc, the bootstrap they used they fking decided to override classes in custom css and turn the 12 col grid system into 5ths or shit, then they created some autmated tests with bunch of intricated selectors selecting by 'labels' instead of !!!!FUCKING WHAT ARE THIS FOR IDs!? - fuk me - so I better decide to procrastinate on this project since luckily enough we don't have a deadline and I wouldn't care if we had either! My job is java developer, and yes I feel good about learning new things and learning front end. BUT NOT THIS CRAP DEPRECATED MttehorseShit!
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I know someone that’s constantly paranoid about being spied on by the government and fears companies stealing his code e.g. github, Microsoft etc.
His solution:
do nothing until we find a secure platform to write code on so that our ‘billion dollar ideas don’t get stolen’
Suffice to say that he’s a very bad coder, not that I’m really that good but compared to him I’m light years ahead.1 -
Documentayion my ass!
Whoever wrote that documentation for qutebrowser: You fucking apathetic shit nugget, you have a fucking feature over there and all you do to fucking document is to hide it within a indifferent example? How the fuck am I supposed to configure that shit if it isn't even mentioned wheresoever? You're example simply assumes that the reader has all the background knowledge and nostly lack relevance as much as IT in my highschool. Read that shit yourself and tepl me if you can find out how to configure this BS3 -
Dependency injection is the most useless piece of crap ever invented. Convention over configuration my ass.
It simplifies nothing a good architecture and pattern can't solve. It's just the current trend but it's the hugest pain in the ass I've ever experienced. It just adds complexity to the project.
I think it's just a thing for masochists and lazy devs, but then why not sticking a huge dido up your ass it's the same fucking thing.12 -
Hello dR
Here after a long time
I'm getting way to stressed with the assignments my college is throwing at me atm
I can feel the depression returning to me
I am quite mentally unstable (after way too long)
From my home, I'm already at record low productivity but the college is not letting it slide off just yet...2 -
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Just spent the last half hour messing with a scammer. Finally shut his ass up when I posted his address and phone number. Fucking fake ass fucking dumb little cunt bullshitter. Fucking learn the power of google you inbred worthless shit.1 -
On Friday a PM I worked with on a project a long time ago, asked me to do a little task on that project, I said yes, and said that I will be sure to deliver it on Friday, but I forgot to do it and, just now I was walking to the kitchen to make myself some tea, and saw him on the way and I was like "Oh, shit"
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Nothing like trying to understand a single 1500-line source file that implements the API usage in the frontend. Without a single comment.
No, wait. There are comments! But it's only commented-out code. Or explicit shit (like "gets the version" before a getAssetVersion function).
Functions with unused parameters? ✅
Weird var names (like "tmpX")? ✅
`console.log(var)` everywhere? ✅
Long-ass lines with 150+ chars? ✅
Duplicate code? ✅✅
Not a single interface was used so everything is var: any? ✅
Random unreadable RegEx? ✅
If-chains of 6+ more levels? ✅
Many `else if` towers instead of a switch? ✅
And did I mention it was written by a fucker who can't speak proper English so shit like visiable, cataloge and isExist is everywhere? Yeah.
Fun day at the office reading spaghetti code 🙃 -
http://stackoverflow.com/questions/...
...and then you go whine that StackOverflow is full of arogant people that only downvote and flag. Yes they do... if you act like an ass or don't even go through the Tour.1 -
DAMN SHITTY MCFUCKFACE CSS FLEXBOX FUCKSYFUCK.
"Let's make this flexbox thing as unreliable as flexy".
My ASS. -
I'm not much of a front-end dev and tasked myself to make a site for the dev group I'm in. Figured that it doesn't need any big libraries since it's a simple one page.
Boy was I wrong. After about 3 to 4 hours of getting nowhere with css, switched to Bulma and in about half an hour, not only did it look decent but it was responsive and fast and clean.
Bless bulma and it's developers. Sure saved my ass3 -
JIRA BULK DELETE USER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!3
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So i started writing a long ass rant and then i got busy followed by getting lazy and i feel the rant has lost its meaning now :/
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When all you want is to start a productive coding day. But end up with finding couple of bugs and writing bug reports.
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https://bugs.launchpad.net/ubuntu/...
Please universe, stop fucking my ass.
I'm far beyond prolapse and I really don't want your filthy surprises.
LTS my ass.
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