At this point I think the "algo" is a secret team that's being held hostage and forced to sort the rants by hand 😂😂

DevOps required skillset:

* Frontend engineering
* Backend services
* Database administrator
* Security consultant
* Project management
* 3rd party contract negotiator
* Build system monitor
* Build system hostage negotiator
* Paging, alerting, monitoring
* Search server admin
* Old search server admin
* Old-old-new search server admin
* Redis, ElasticSearch, MySQL, PostGres, owner
* Agile coach
* No you shouldn't do that coach
* Oh, you did that anyway coach
* DNS: (Optional) It'll replicate when it wants, and how it wants to to anyway
* Multi-Cloud deployment strategist
* Must be able to translate Klingon to YAML, and YAML to MySQL
* Cost analyzer, reducer, and justifier
* Complex documentation generation in markdown that we should have done years ago anyway
* Marketing's email went to spam analyzer
* Wordpress is broke fixer
* Where the fuck does Wordpress run anyway?
* Ability to fix MySql running Wordpress on marketing's dusty laptop

> System becomes Irresponsive
> Chrome is taking RAM
> Closes two windows with 60+ tabs
> Leaves 1 tab open
> Still taking RAM
> taskkill /f /t /im chrome.exe
> RAM is not being held as hostage by Chrome

Thursday.

Otherwise known as Day 4 of the hostage situation....

Certificate: * expired yesterday *

Chrome: 🚨🚨🚨 THIS WEBSITE MIGHT TRY TO ROB YOU AND TAKE YOUR FAMILY HOSTAGE CALL THE ARMY IMMEDIATELY AND WAIT FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS 🚨🚨🚨

Ofcourse it's sorta justified, but still, it's funny to see what the consequences are of forgetting to reload the nginx server after a certificate renewal 😂

Unity continues to hold dark theme hostage for paid license.

You monsters!!!

I am a Windows hostage: 50% of my games are just not supported on Linux/Mac.

Websites with annoying ads that hold your phones browser hostage to install a fake AV or vote in a stupid poll.

"Hello. We have taken your forum database hostage. Send 0.09 BTC to..."

I hate my life.

So a client hired us to rebuild their website, because their current website is being held hostage at their current provider. The provider locked them out of WordPress and says they will shut down the website at the end of the month.

The client wants us to hack into the website and get the files. I told them "no chance in hell", but that their current website will be at our host later today.

What I didn't tell them is that I just scraped their website pages to flat HTML.

A few years ago I was working in a startup where the designer was given way too much decisional power (he was friends with the owner).

He had a tendency to keep editing parts of the design during the development phases, so when we had to work on a new big section of the application, before starting the tront-end development, I asked him to confirm that the mockups were final.

He confirmed the design was final and was not going to change.

10 days later, of couse, he sent a new, completely different, set of mockups. The startup owner expected the new design to be implemented without moving the deadline.

(I left that startup shortly after. The issues with the designer were just the tip of the iceberg.
The owner tried to keep a payment hostage to "force" me to sign a new 1 year contract. He backtracked when he thought I was recording the call. I got my payment and left.)

Microsoft.. MicrobrainedSoftware-devs.

SamsungCloud died out and was replaced with OneDrive automatically. Alright, my data is still backed up, so.. No biggie.

OneDrive was syncing my pics and videos automatically, even though media sync is disabled. Umm.. Okay?

My phone is constantly very low on free space [idk why], so I decided to clean up some old photos. I'm removing and removing, until I reach photos with a cloud and an arrow replacing their content. Hundreds of spoiled pics that do not open. And in info their path is /OneDrive/*. Umm.. Wat?

Open mydrive website, log in only to be greeted by a fully loaded onedrive webapp covered by a non-removable modal 'we have an app for this. Use app'. Wtf?? Just let me disable the modal and use the webapp!! Wtf!

Open onedrive app. I'm greeted with a red warning that I've exceeded my storage limits and my account is frozen and my files will be deleted in June '23. WTF????? A heads-up would be nice!!

The popup lists my options:
1. Unfreeze the account for 30days, but I can only do that once. If after 30d I'm still exceeding my limits, my acc will be again frozen w/o an easy way to unfreeze.
2. Once unfrozen [takes ~24hrs], I can either
2.1 pay 7€ to M$ monthly for 1TB of storage in onedrive
2.2 remove my files from OD and my phone [since even if media sync is disabled, OD app is still syncing my media]
what the actual fuck?!?!? M$ is now keeping hundreds of my photos on my phone hostage.

Go F* yourself!

I FINALLY GOT CHROME BACK!!! A few weeks ago, my computer, for no reason, said I couldn't use chrome due to Microsoft Family features, despite me not having a Microsoft Family setup. I have been using edge for weeks. Pray for my sanity.

The solution, was to create a new Microsoft account and run chrome as that. But, it does bring up the interesting topic of how much Microsoft sucks. They do this all the time, they look at something that doesn't need meddling with, like my right to use my property and my apllications, and release some garbage they didn't test without thinking of the implications. Did anyone ever as Microsoft for a way to manage your family forcefully? No. Because, if you cared enough, I'm sure you could just download a stupid family app, rather than let Microsoft take hostage of your computers.

One thing really interesting to me was that Firefox nor chrome worked, but edge could launch just fine. A little suspicious, don't ya think, Microsoft?

Client contacts our company that his site is down, we do some investigating and the only way we can access the site is on a mobile phone. From the office computers the site never loads and times out. Since we don't host the site and I've never logged into it before I don't have a lot of details so I suggest they contact whoever hosts their site. This is where things get weird.

Client tells me that the site is hosted on someone's home server. I tell him that this is quite strange in 2018 and rather unlikely and ask if he was ever given access to the site to log in or if he has access to his domain registration, GoDaddy.

He says he doesn't understand any of this and would rather I just contact his current developer and figure it out with him. We agree that he needs to get access to his site so we are going to migrate it once I get access to it.

I email his current developer letting him know the client has put me in contact with him to troubleshoot the issues with the site. I ask him some standard questions like: where is the site hosted? Can you access it from a computer? Do you have some security measures in place to block certain IP ranges? Can you give me from access to get the files? Will you send me a backup of the site for me to load up on my server?

*2days pass*

Other dev: Tell me the account number and I'll transfer the domain.

Me: I'll have to get back to you on that once I talk to the client and set up his GoDaddy account since we believe the business owner should own their domain, not their developers. In the meantime you didn't answer any of the questions I asked. Transferring the domain won't get the site on my server so I still need the files.

*3 days pass*

OD: You are trying the wrong domain. The correct domain is [redacted].com I'll have my daughter send you the files when she gets in town. We will transfer the domain to you, the client will forget to pay and the site will go down and it'll be your fault.

Me: I appreciate your advice, but the client will own their domain. I'm trying to get the site online and you have no answered any of my questions. It's been a week now and you have not transferred the domain, you have not provided a copy of the site, you have not told me where the site is hosted. The client and I are both getting impatient at this point when will we receive a backup of the site and the transfer of the domain?

OD: Go fuck yourself, tell the client they can sue me.

If the client is that terrible, wouldn't you want to hand them off to anyone willing to take them? I have never understood why developers and agencies try to hold clients hostage by keeping their domain or website and refusing access. From what I can tell this is a freelance developer without a real company so a legal battle likely isn't going to go well since the domain is worthless to him as the copyright to the name is owned by the client. This isn't the first time we've had to help clients through this sort of thing.

Let me tell you a story about an independent contractor who was just told the reason I don’t have enough information to build, deploy, access, or test the software I was brought on to maintain…

is that the previous developer is holding all documentation essentially “hostage” in an attempt to squeeze more payment out of the client. What the tap-dancing shit have I gotten myself in to.

This has been bothering me for a while. I have an old freelance client of mine I’ve created an web site for (his company) it was small one so I took the complete payment before deployment and I needed no contract. I deployed the complete version of the site on my server, bought the domain for his company under my name and it has been running for a year now.
Lately he had asked me to give admin privileges to his son (cs student 1y) to upload some photos of their new building. I noticed he ruined several functions on the site in doing so, but I was never paid to support that just the hosting for a year.
When I was making the design I made a simple but pretty logo as a placeholder for the site which went in production since they never gave me company logo. All good, no contract small cash all delivered, everyone happy.
Up until few days when I saw my f**king logo cut out from the site as 250px jpeg and made as a huge banner on the company building..
From my pov I would’ve never given permission to use that since its not something i’m proud of and would suggest to make a better one for a fee. I see this as stolen/unauthorized use of intellectual property. But the laws are super shitty in our country so at this point I am stuck at taking their site, domain a hostage until they pay for the logo they used or take it down or taking legal actions.. we never signed anything about that logo.

Windows just activated TPM on my Windows 10 computer on first of february 2024.
The main reason I stuck with Windows 10 was the sole reason of not wanting to upload my hardware-fingerprint to MS.
Well, guess they just got it themselves and now, disabling the TPM comes with a lot of downsides, as it is now holding my certificates hostage...

Hardest thing about changing careers and becoming a programmer has to be going to the job you can't stand everyday. I'm a school teacher and I'm just tired of it. The unruly kids, the low pay, and the stupid administration with all their useless curriculum ideas that never help the children.
Hopefully I can fully get a grasp of Android/Java so I can leave this place this year.

Currently have a client trying to hold a hosting renewal hostage, by suggesting we need to make posting more user friendly. It's the default WordPress post process.

javascript or The Stockholm syndrome

I work in an agile environment and I act as scrum master. There is one team member I have been trying to get on the rails for two years now. Today she went off at standup and one other team member commented it was like listening to a diary entry. It’s true. I’ve been to agile open hours with this problem so many times- glad we are only in the office two days so I can mute myself and react. Anyone else have team members taking standup meetings hostage? I just want to scream !!!

haha I just thought of the perfect training device.

so many guns can have hair triggers. why not create a wifi enabled composite replica of guns someone is training with and get them all excited and psyched out and add a tracker to the trigger that opens a simple circuit and reports 'weapon fire' and gun orientation to the computer to help with training and reinforcing the training of proper weapons handling during apprehension or holding of a person so you can take control without shooting them accidentally in war or law enforcement actions, you could add a system that plays a very alarming bad noise when someone in the scenario is accidentally shot or you accidentally shoot the person being apprehended :P you know like you hold a pair of scissors with the point away, train them to hold their finger somewhere when handling a certain way to prevent misfire.

yes i'm thinking about shooting certain people or holding pedo money bags hostage atm.