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Company: your hired, lead our X dev team.
Me: yay.
-- three months later --
Company: we arent supporting X anymore.
Company: gonna offload all X clients in 90 days.
Me: oh.
Company: but you should stay around, learn new tech
Me: is this a charity case?
Company: yes, but we both win.
Me: how?
Company: you can keep your salary.
Me: deal.1 -
Managers when a developer misses something on a project: “we need to go red fucking alert and schedule several meetings on why this developer inadequacy can never happen again and make sure to record this and make sure the stupid ass devs read all the requirements and use this mistake to offload more of our work onto the dev team”
Managers when they or any other team member misses something on a project: “oh we just made a slight woopsie, just a tiny little miss on our part, a lil fucky wucky, no need to worry”6 -
Dear Contractor,
Please understand that the reason I have hired you is so I could offload fairly marginal tasks and projects to someone else so that my work queue stops being a constipated mess of things that need done. HOWEVER, if you continue to freaking need constant hand holding I'll do the damn project myself. STOP ASKING ME EVERY 30 SECONDS IF I HAVE AN OPINION ON WHAT FUCKING TEXT EDITOR YOU SHOULD BE USING.
Good help is so hard to find.
Sincerely,
Sr. Developer -
Meeting with a co-worker who is supposed to do a code analysis on a large legacy project. Actually, HER project - she inherited it already years ago, and the original devs aren't in the company anymore.
Her: customer is asking this and that analysis.
Me: easily two weeks.
Her: but who will do that?
Me: you of course.
Her: but I don't know most of the code.
Me: me neither.
Her: and I don't know the protocols.
Me: google them. I'd have to do the same.
Really, I told her to google shit, which I consider as quite a slap for a co-worker. Basically, she tried to offload a complex analysis because she just wants the low effort parts of the job.
Won't happen. DO YOUR FUCKING JOB!12 -
Just tried to read this the frequently asked questions about article 13.
I don't think you need to read it, since you learn nothing from it besides that these people don't even care anymore. Everything is written in a "wishful" mode, even their goals.
You can just go to the next trash can, take an item and compare it with that. Unfortunately, you will have to realize that the item you just picked up was more useful to society than everything you'll read in these "answers".
https://ec.europa.eu/digital-single...
They basically dodge every single question vague to the point that someone as the amount of drugs these people take in order to think they are making realistic proposes.
"We aim to blah blah", "Our aim is blah blah", "We want to blah blah". Might as well sue me for copying their content in that paragraph.
If anybody ever tells you that you have unrealistic, stupid goals or dreams just remember: there's a whole continent lead by people who have no fucking idea what they are doing and still think they are doing a good job. And because they have no idea what they are doing they just offload all the work to companies.
Plattform: Ok, what do we have to do?
EU: lol, just "put in place, in collaboration with right holders, adequate and proportionate technical measures." (#2 P4)
Plattform: can you be a bit more specific?
EU: Look, this proposal just "requires platforms which store and provide access to large amounts of copyright-protected content uploaded by their users to put in place effective and proportionate measures." It's not that hard to understand, you dummy (#3 P3)
Plattform: So we need to monitor all user-generated content?
Eu: are you stupid or something? You "would not have to actively monitor all the content uploaded by users", just the copyrighted content. (#4 P1)
The rest is more or less the same, just them imagining the outcome, without taking turning on their decomposed brains in order to apply common sense.
Jumping off this "union" seems be pretty lucrative 🤔1 -
Sooo many fucking visual and functional glitches in iOS!
Just had my Files app stuck on a file preview. Couldn’t scroll, close or share the file. Closed the app, restarted the app, opened it again with no luck.
Had to offload and reinstate the app to get it working.
Apple is making sure that I go back to Android for my next phone.
To think that such an expensive phone has so many UI/UX glitches is infuriating! I like the overall aesthetics of iOS but these glitches/bugs/whatever-the-fucks are just plain frustrating.2 -
I know I am guilty of this too, but it gets quite annoying when co-workers just barge in with a "something isn't working" while providing as few details as possible, needing me to ask them multiple questions about what exactly the fuck is it that made them cry.
Maybe it is a courtesy thing where you don't offload too much information in one go, but I wish they'd rather also tell me in what part of the application, doing what, with what input, did they encounter the problem.
Sometimes even I'll also just subconsciously assume a couple of details, only to realize fifteen minutes later that we're talking about two different modules.1 -
That moment when you're away from home and you're performing a fucking system update (upgrade?) on fucking Gentoo and your fucking Chromebook can't fucking connect to your fucking computer at home running fucking Arch to offload fucking compilations over fucking SSH and fucking Polybar tells you that the fucking RAM is almost full and that both of your fucking Broadwell CPUs are fucking 100% on usage and even fucking Vim can't open your fucking work to add the fucking documentation for a fucking assignment from a fucking online course due today and everything's fucking stopped in time but the fucking window manager is still working normally?!!!!2
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Anyone experience with microservices?
I want to offload CPU intense workloads to another server while I use my main webserver for just simply serving files and I have a couple of questions... Like were to start researching if this idea is even viable
Thanks in advance!19 -
Can't figure out how in the hell to use nunjuck templates (or any for that matter) in metalsmith.
I feel like this is a general problem with oh so minimalistic modern projects. They look kinda cool but fail to do their main job correctly and in a flexible manner. This sort of flexible markup transformation just isn't possible to offload entirely to third party plugins and expect them to come up with some sort of compatibility themselves1 -
I’m trying to update a job posting so that it’s not complete BS and deters juniors from applying... but honestly this is so tough... no wonder these posting get so much bs in them...
Maybe devRant community can help be tackle this conundrum.
I am looking for a junior ml engineer. Basically somebody I can offload a bunch of easy menial tasks like “helping data scientists debug their docker containers”, “integrating with 3rd party REST APIs some of our models for governance”, “extend/debug our ci”, “write some preprocessing functions for raw data”. I’m not expecting the person to know any of the tech we are using, but they should at least be competent enough to google what “docker is” or how GitHub actions work. I’ll be reviewing their work anyhow. Also the person should be able to speak to data scientists on topics relating to accuracy metrics and mode inputs/outputs (not so much the deep-end of how the models work).
In my opinion i need either a “mathy person who loves to code” (like me) or a “techy person who’s interested in data science”.
What do you think is a reasonable request for credentials/experience?5 -
I swear it is easier to do a full-stack application all by yourself rather than make a front-end and a back-end newbie work alongside you in a way that justifies the pay being given to them by the project manager(for a freelance project).
Not that they are bad or anything, but it takes more effort to offload work to them with enough explanation to convey the expectations properly while accounting for the learning they are yet to do.1 -
When you have a manager that gets the requirements for a super simple content page one month ago...
Then argues with some people about where it needs to go...
Then when it was decided two weeks ago that it needed to be a new publishing site insists on getting approval to deploy the new site even when I said hey I can have this guy set up publishing on our external server...
Gets approval anyway, now the deadline for it to be activated and working is tomorrow and because he is "a Wordpress developer" (by which he can install a theme) he thinks he knows how to fix Wordpress...
Because of the security at our company it needs to be over https and we are doing ssl offload from our publisher and Wordpress doesn't seem to like it or it is his jacked up Windows box running Wordpress? Wtf
Best of all he said "do you think we will meet the deadline". I said I don't think we have a choice, this will be used by a lot of people Saturday for a conference. OMG I was ready to scream...
Now today I need to setup a new cms on an external server and get it done by tomorrow morning, with content. FML -
OK, I've got a couple customers I provide e-mail hosting for, but recently it's been...more trouble than it's worth, to put it simply. I'm looking to offload that part of what I do onto another service.
Does anyone have any recommendations for e-mail hosting services? Bonus points if they have good customer support.3 -
The feeling when you get to offload a few days worth of commits after a change spiralled out of control
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