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Search - "perfect date"
Girl: What's your idea of the perfect date?
Me: dd/mm/yyyy, others formats are confusing
Me: Wait where are you going18
What is your idea of 'perfect date'?
Seriously, living in US since last six months till, still not getting used to MM/DD/YYYY!!!19
My biggest pet peeve at the moment is people without any development experience using version numbers.
Me: "Communicating a release date for the feature towards clients is dangerous, we have a developer shortage, and currently don't really have enough capacity to..."
Manager: "What we release next month doesn't have to be perfect, it is just a v1"
Me: "You mean it's a beta? If that's the case, could you maybe differentiate the requirements of the beta, let's call it a 0.1.0, versus the 1.0.0-rc, the release candidate?"
*Feature is eventually merged into production, barely in a beta state*
Manager: "So I have some ideas for the v2"
Me: "You mean 1.0.0"
Manager: "Let's compromise and call it v1.5"
Me: "Let's compromise, you stop communicating release dates, AND you stop using version numbers..."
Manager: "That's not a compromise..."
Me: "...I wasn't finished... And I won't respond to the recruiter who just offered me a better paying job"5
*Friend after a date*
Friend : Bro what according to you is a perfect date?
Everything else is just confusing.
Most satisfying bug I've fixed?
Fixed a n+1 issue with a web service retrieving price information. I initially wrote the service, but it was taken over by a couple of 'world class' monday-morning-quarterbacks.
The "Worst code I've ever seen" ... "I can't believe this crap compiles" types that never met anyone else's code that was any good.
After a few months (yes months) and heavy refactoring, the service still returned price information for a product. Pass the service a list of product numbers, service returns the price, availability, etc, that was it.
After a very proud and boisterous deployment, over the next couple of days the service seemed to get slower and slower. DBAs started to complain that the service was causing unusually high wait times, locks, and CPU spikes causing problems for other applications. The usual finger pointing began which ended up with "If PaperTrail had written the service 'correctly' the first time, we wouldn't be in this mess."
Only mattered that I initially wrote the service and no one seemed to care about the two geniuses that took months changing the code.
The dev manager was able to justify a complete re-write of the service using 'proper development methodologies' including budgeting devs, DBAs, server resources, etc..etc. with a projected year+ completion date.
My 'BS Meter' goes off, so I open up the code, maybe 5 minutes...tada...found it. The corresponding stored procedure accepts a list of product numbers and a price type (1=Retail, 2=Dealer, and so on). If you pass 0, the stored procedure returns all the prices.
Code basically looked like this..
public List<Prices> GetPrices(List<Product> products, int priceTypeId)
foreach (var item in products)
List<int> productIdsParameter = new List<int>();
List<Price> prices = dataProvider.GetPrices(productIdsParameter, 0);
foreach (var price in prices)
if (price.PriceTypeID == priceTypeId)
prices = dataProvider.GetPrices(productIdsParameter, price.PriceTypeID);
* Omitting the other 'WTF?' code to handle the zero price type
I removed the double stored procedure call, updated the method signature to only accept the list of product numbers (which it was before the 'major refactor'), deployed the service to dev (the issue was reproducible in our dev environment) and had the DBA monitor.
The two devs and the manager are grumbling and mocking the changes (they never looked, they assumed I wrote some threading monstrosity) then the DBA walks up..
DBA: "We're good. You hit the database pretty hard and the CPU never moved. Execution plans, locks, all good to go."
<dba starts to walk away>
DevMgr: "No fucking way! Putting that code in a thread wouldn't have fix it"
Me: "Um, I didn't use threads"
Dev1: "You had to. There was no way you made that code run faster without threads"
Dev2: "It runs fine in dev, but there is no way that level of threading will work in production with thousands of requests. I've got unit tests that prove our design is perfect."
Me: "I looked at what the code was doing and removed what it shouldn't be doing. That's it."
DBA: "If the database is happy with the changes, I'm happy. Good job. Get that service deployed tomorrow and lets move on"
Me: "You'll remove the recommendation for a complete re-write of the service?"
DevMgr: "Hell no! The re-write moves forward. This, whatever you did, changes nothing."
DBA: "Hell yes it does!! I've got too much on my plate already to play babysitter with you assholes. I'm done and no one on my team will waste any more time on this. Am I clear?"
Seeing the dev manager face turn red and the other two devs look completely dumbfounded was the most satisfying bug I've fixed.5
She: What's your idea about perfect date ?
Me: I'll recommend mm/dd/yyyy.. others are really confusing
Google is getting smarter with their recruiters, if those recruiters are even people at all. I have this recruiter message me once a month and her messages are so targeted and specific.. like.. she ACTUALLY read my profile. She writes a lengthy message that includes my previous company's name, work experience, and even the projects I have on Github (as in specific questions, not just the name of the repository or some shit that can easily be scraped). She mentions events specific to the area where I live in, etc.
She's doing these things that I've been planning to do. Maybe a web crawler and a game of adlib to make people think you actually read about them and cared one bit when in reality, you're just a bot who have access to public information. You just bind them all together and fill in the blanks and then send it away.
Maybe you have a few message templates and use a bit of code to shuffle some words a little bit, make them less perfect and more human. Throw in a few "unintentional" mistakes to make it look more casual, add some warmth to your cold, metallic, robot heart. With all these, you get more variety on the messages you send. Maybe apply some machine learning or some shit, have it listen/read from different people, and give it an illusion of a personality.
But what's this? She did not send the message on an "o'clock" time. It wasn't 12:00 AM at all, or 7:00 PM, or 4:00 PM. The follow-up email was sent on 12:20 AM. Was all the messages queued and the job runs at 12:00 AM but she's sent it to so many that it reached me 20 minutes later? Nah. Or maybe this is intentional, some low-key "I'm not a bot, I don't operate at exactly 12:00 AM. I don't have a cron, I have a heart." But if I were to make one, I would send it at times like 9:34 AM, a little less suspicious. I want to see if there's a pattern on what time she sends these things but I only see the date on the previous messages now because I didn't care enough to read it before.
Also, this is LinkedIn, they give scrapers a hard time but then again, this is Google and they have the money to pay for abuse. Now I want to check our time difference. What time did she actually send this and was it really rainy in Ireland that time OR ARE YOU LYING TO ME, CLAUDIA? I thought you cared about me? Was it all a fucking lie? Do you know me at all? Or was it all just a clever game to get into my pants?
Now I want to make a new account that has almost the same details to see if she messages that one but I don't want to go back to the asylum, I know how deep it goes. I either hunt down this bot or make a counter-bot to cross-check all the shit she and other recruiters are telling me.
Or maybe this is exactly what they want to happen.. For me to lose my mind and post in a forum where I would "unintentionally" spread the word and they can attract/trap more people.
Fuck it, early onset dementia.2
> Last year wrote a unittest - I was asked to delete it
> no design patterns. Not a single one
> no encapsulation
> fucked up inheritance [I had no idea it was possible at all...]
> generics every-fucking-where
> I could go on...
this month the lead dev was not in and I had to make a new feature. Guess what I did :)
tdd [coverage >90%], a couple of builders, a factory or two, two composites, one decorator, only a few generics - only where really needed. Private fields, not a single @Autowired field [they were fucking my tdd], nicely abstracted integrations, and so on. Everything is writen according to clean code: max 10loc methods, <140col lines, reusable constants and utils, SOLID as a rock, etc.
Due date is next week. Took me 3 weeks to craft it.
Guess who's gonna be piiiiiiiiiiiiisssedd 😁
the best part - I don't even work there, our company was hired for xx hours as helping hands 😁
that's not all. They have like 6 envs and their deployment is all-fucking-manual. Will try to learn how to dockerize that app and deploy it on docker. Gosh I wish I could see his face when he's back 😁
p.S. From ethical point of view, he's the only dev who believes his code is perfect. No other dev in the team agrees. AND he once said: 'it's gonna be my way or no way at all'. So I don't think I did wrong... Did I? :)8
A dev's love story
Someday, I opened myself to other Typescripted perspectives, I had new projects in life. A coworker introduced me to VSCode. She looked like Sublime, but more convenient. She was easier to use, perfect to achieve my goals. She was also more organized with my files and her beautiful colors made me crazy. But recently, I got mad at her. VScode became slow to understand each of my moves and even threatened me to exit all the time...
I tried to come back visit my Sublime, my real first love. But I knew it would never be like before.
Now I'm here, alone. I don't know what to do with my life. If only I could fall in love again, I don't know if people can help me get out of this hole.
I feel like I was very productive today. At last, I found myself a nice dark theme for NetBeans based on IntelliJ darcula theme. I also found a perfect Java API 8 SE class for date manipulation called LocalDate.5
Everyone argues about the perfect date, so I searched and found it using complex machine learning, a lot of trial and error, and too much alcohol:
- %Y stands for one number of the last year
- %M stands for one number of the following month
- %D stands for one number (09 are two numbers for example) of SQRT((CURRENT_DAY^7)/3)
- %h stands for one number of the hour next evening(12h system)
- %% stands for either 7 or 3, 7 means that the hour(%h) is a.m., 3 means that the hour is p.m.
- %m stands for the minute the next solar eclipse will happen
- %s stands for one number of the second you will hate yourself to have this system implemented.
How to use it im 3 simple steps:
1. Implement it using ???
- Hey darlin, how about u n me go out for coffee on 2021-02-19?
- Hey lovely. I got an event from 2021-02-19T05:45:00Z to 2021-02-19T07:15:00Z. How about we meet at 2021-02-20T04:00:00Z?
- Perfect, there's a movie at 2021-02-20T06:10:00Z
- It's a date then3
Some cheapskate insists on writing a guide to selfhost <software> on Heroku and wants to add it to the official documentation, promising to maintain it (since none of the other devs are using or planning to use Heroku). I volunteer to give them a chance on grounds of it being high quality and maintained by that person in the future which they both promise.
Our docs are written as markdown files on github.
So here we go:
Starts a pull request: uploads their """guide""" as a docx. The content is completely unformatted, basically just an enumerated list.
Tell them to format it as markdown, suggest using github gists.
They go ahead and copy pasta their unformatted list into a gist.txt "allright i made it into gist for ya"
Tell them that they did not format it as markdown.
"sorry updated it in markdown :P"
I look at the file, it is still raw text in a gist.txt. Maybe a bit more spaced out, not that I would care to notice any changes at this point.
Tell them it is still not markdown and link them to a perfect example of another guide that takes advantage of code fragments for commands etc and is properly rendered since it uses .md
"I updated it to the markdown this time XP Can you give me some suggestions on how it looks?"
"How it looks"... "how it LOOKS"... I click the link for the 5th time and IT IS STILL JUST A RAW FUCKING GIST.
Jfc that person has some serious reading/thinking disability. To imagine them to be proactively keeping their guide up to date in the future is absolutely impossible. At that point I pulled out my support for the request since it was already taking more effort to even get a readable version of guide than I estimated for the whole process of adding it.
Oh, and one of the steps originally suggested in the """guide""" was adding the credentials file into the vcs.2
markdown is not good enough! the tools aren't there for non-devs and there's no concordance on moving forward *compatibly* for anything other than headers and __possibly__ lists.
md has been around for years and still no consensus on comments, meta data, css, data imports, etc.
i could never in good faith recommend to a non-dev to use markdown, even though every academic and professional writer from legal to journalism should exclusively be using markdown to write and store their documents. the data portability and ease of search, retrieval, collection, distribution, etc of markdown compared to pdf or docx is enormous. markdown is the hex format of text, the perfect layer of data and visual so that the user and the computer can both operate on text as blocks of data rather than weirdly styled paragraphs that need to be reformatted BY HAND for citation-style or journal format, or paper size. FOR EACH SUBMISSION. Academics literally rewrite their 100-page papers to accommodate up to 10 different submission requirements.
They could be clicking MLA vs Chicago and/or using a journal's stylesheet to recompile for its styles.
Today there is some support from zotero et al to take away some of the pain, but it makes ZERO SENSE for writers to have to keep and store and keep up to date, multiple versions of the same document. Git pull does not exist for them. But the worst part is that git isnt the solution to their problem. They need a compiler more than they need version control. But they also desperately need vcs. They ALL literally have a million files named "dumdum.dumFINAL-3084_lastversion \2020, this one.dum".
They dont have git or anything like it, because they need a line-by-line solution like markdown for git to become effective.
All of writing is basically mired in the fact that people cant even roll up their paragraphs and see what the fuck it is theyre saying. Most writing reads like a long scroll through some nonsense that goes nowhere. Like this rant. but the point is that markdown and line-by line editing actually produces more logically sound writing. You start to think in terms of defining ideas in blocks, ... like code.10
This little cute RoboHon could be the perfect debugger replacing the rubber duck!
For 2 weeks or more testing our app .. everything is perfect.
Deployment date .. hell break loose 😒😣😫😫😫😫
I thought I posted about this awhile back but I didn't. I'm glad since the story is so much better now.
6 weeks ago: Told I'm going to be on a super fun JAMStack build with lots of sexy animations. Sweet, this will be a fun build!
5 weeks ago: Find out what the timeline on this incredibly ambitious project is. I start raising flags cause everything needs to go PERFECT for this to not blow up and/or turn in to a dumpster fire.
4 weeks ago: Project "kicks off" with a meeting with the client. We find out that they've decided to do another round of revisions on their design comps, but we have what we need for sprint 1. We provide a list of all the assets/information we still need for sprint 1 success.
3 weeks ago: Still waiting on some assets for sprint one, but we're fumbling our way through. Still waiting on the PM to get around to doing their PM job and building out our backlog / gathering requirements for us.
2 weeks ago: Sprint 1's end date comes and goes. Still need assets from the client, I've personally asked them for the same asset 3 different times. Sprint 1 gets extended 1 week.
1 week ago: We deliver sprint 1 page templates, minus the resources we're still waiting for. Get chewed out by the client regarding the pages not looking like their comps (Yeah, no shit sherlock, you never sent us the assets)
This week: Working on Sprint 2 commitments. We have 2x as many page templates to deliver, per developer, as we had the first sprint. Still waiting on Sprint 1 assets. Don't have Sprint 2 assets. Wait, what about the global styles? They still haven't sent those to us yet either.
Requirements? Guess I'll spend valuable dev time tracking those down for myself.
Client? Well, they're pissed off we haven't hit our commitments yet.
Oh well, at least we have a pimple faced, fresh out of college, CS major, with no real development experience rolling on to this cesspool of a project.
Other devs? Well, we're out of fucks to give. Lets just watch this thing burn.
Oh, I forgot to add, we have 17 page templates to deliever between today (2/27) and 3/18. #NoFuckingWay
I was filling a questionnaire through SAP Ariba ..
The loading time, the way you can upload files. The tree structure of the questionnaire, and their date picker. Everything is perfect no struggle with it at all.
PS: I spent about 2 hours filling it and I am not done yet!
We have a dashboard that does stuff and one of the things that you can do is to turn these devices on or off. I the front-end guy made it look better and added some new visuals from the back-end data for better use. So I wanted to disable the off button if the device is off and vice versa. So I found out that when I turn it off or on let's say on, the device turns on but the data I get from the back-end still shows it to me as off because the data comes from the server and even though a device is on it updates the server about that periodically so I wait 10 seconds for that update.
The back-end guy tells me he just can't do anything about it and that's why it was like that at first. Then a few hours later this guy complains about this little space in between elements. Like dude, if you are such a perfect guy go find a way to make your thing work so the dashboard can have up to date information.2
What is your idea of "The Perfect Date" ?
Employee (Female Software Developer):
Other formats can be confusing really.6
Context, I'm peeking through some source files for someone else's project trying to find a struct to see if I can get away with a cast.
So far so good; I find the struct in question and see that:
And my immediate reaction is dude, I'm sitting here banging my head against Satan's backend trying to keep everything as small as I can and you're using a whole kilo for every last fucking local path.
I mean, is that just a common thing? Are YOUR paths that long? Is this perfectly fine in your brand of computer fuckery? Am I just an ancient 8-bit bytefucker?
This mini-rant is sponsored by YourMommaTrade. If you have a hot date tonite and are looking for the perfect babysitter then don't hesitate to call YourMommaTrade: their unmatched skill at completely robbing young children of innocence by way of depraved over-exposure to the inequities of our wicked world will leave you 100% unsatisfied.
Be the first to click my link in the description below for a FULL SIZED, 4KB PAGE of pure shit in your mouth. You will eat it, and you WILL love it! Big thanks to YourMommaTrade for sponsoring this mini-rant.9
Critical Tips to Learn Programming Faster Sample:
Be comfortable with basics
The mistake which many aspiring students make is to start in a rush and skip the basics of programming and its fundamentals. They tend to start from the comparatively advanced topics.
This tends to work in many sectors and fields of Technology, but in the world of programming, having a deep knowledge of the basic principles of coding and programming is a must. If you are taking a class through a tutor and you feel that they are going too fast for your understanding, you need to be firm and clear and tell them to go slowly, so that you can also be on the same page like everyone else
Most often than not, many people tend to struggle when they reach a higher level with a feeling of getting lost, then they feel the need to fall back and go through basics, which is time-consuming. Learning basics well is the key to be fast and accurate in programming.
Practice to code by hand.
This may sound strange to some of you. Why write a code by hand when the actual work is supposed to be done on a computer? There are some reasons for this.
One reason being, when you were to be called for an interview for a programming job, the technical evaluation will include a hand-coding round to assess your programming skills. It makes sense as experts have researched and found that coding by hand is the best way to learn how to program.
Be brave and fiddle with codes
Most of us try to stick to the line of instructions given to us by our seniors, but it is extremely important to think out of the box and fiddle around with codes. That way, you will learn how the results get altered with the changes in the code.
Don't be over-ambitious and change the whole code. It takes experience to reach that level. This will give you enormous confidence in your skillset
Reach out for guidance
Seeking help from professionals is never looked down upon. Your fellow mates will likely not feel a hitch while sharing their knowledge with you. They also have been in your position at some point in their career and help will be forthcoming.
You may need professional help in understanding the program, bugs in the program and how to debug it. Sometimes other people can identify the bug instantly, which may have escaped your attention. Don't be shy and think that they'll make of you. It's always a team effort. Be comfortable around your colleagues.
You must have seen people burning the midnight oil and not coming to a conclusion, hence being reported by the testing team or the client.
These are common occurrences in the IT Industry. It is really important to conserve energy and take regular breaks while learning or working. It improves concentration and may help you see solutions faster. It's a proven fact that taking a break while working helps with better results and productivity. To be a better programmer, you need to be well rested and have an active mind.
It's a common misconception that learning how to program will take a lot of money, which is not true. There are plenty of online college courses designed for beginner students and programmers. Many free courses are also available online to help you become a better programmer. Websites like Udemy and programming hub is beneficial if you want to improve your skills.
There are free courses available for everything from [HTML](https://bitdegree.org/learn/...) to CSS. You can use these free courses to get a piece of good basic knowledge. After cementing your skills, you can go for complex paid courses.
Read Relevant Material
One should never stop acquiring knowledge. This could be an extension of the last point, but it is in a different context. The idea is to boost your knowledge about the domain you're working on.
In real-life situations, the client for which you're writing a program for possesses complete knowledge of their business, how it works, but they don't know how to write a code for some specific program and vice versa.
So, it is crucial to keep yourself updated about the recent trends and advancements. It is beneficial to know about the business for which you're working. Read relevant material online, read books and articles to keep yourself up-to-date.
Never stop practicing
The saying “practice makes perfect” holds no matter what profession you are in. One should never stop practicing, it's a path to success. In programming, it gets even more critical to practice, since your exposure to programming starts with books and courses you take. Real work is done hands-on, you must spend time writing codes by hand and practicing them on your system to get familiar with the interface and workflow.
Search for mock projects online or make your model projects to practice coding and attentively commit to it. Things will start to come in the structure after some time.4
Are dating sites safe for real meetings?
Very few people who use dating sites consider them only for online communication. Most users need them to find someone for real dating. So, after an online dating stage, sooner or later, people start thinking about meeting in real life. And even if everything has been perfect and smooth and you have a great time via online chat, it doesn’t mean yet that you shouldn’t forget about safety measures. I don’t doubt the online dating safety, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. So, when taking a decision to move from online to real dating, you need to prepare for the first date well and thoroughly.
1. Make it formal
Even if you have been chatting online for many months, and you know probably everything about this person, including many moments of life that people usually do not share at once, you still should not rush the events, no matter how hard you want to make a huge step forward. Your first non-virtual date should be formal, no exclusions. Choose a crowded place for the first date, for example, a restaurant, cinema, exhibition, or agree to meet in a park and spend time there. Do not invite a person to your home nor accept an invitation to visit her house.
2. Inform your friends where you are going
I know that it may seem like too much for just a date, but you are going to meet a person you have never seen in real life. And informing a friend that you are going for a date with an online match is an absolutely right decision. Besides, most dating sites recommend to do it.
3. Leave if you feel uncomfortable
Your real date may significantly differ from the online ones that you had before. So, if you see that your virtual partner is not the person you know so well online, you’d better end this date. Not all online dates should go real. Sometimes, it’s better to leave things as they are and continue communication online.
4. Avoid alcohol
Do not drink alcohol on the first date. Even if you feel a bit nervous and you know that a little alcohol will help you to relax and calm down. I still recommend you to avoid drinking because you may either create a wrong image of yourself and spoil the date anyways or simply make mistakes.
So, how safe is online dating? I’d say that online dating is 100% safe in case you do not neglect the basic rules which work not only for virtual dating but also for the real-world one. Do not rush events, take your time, avoid conversations about money, do not send or buy gifts on request, and do not share personal things about you unless you are sure you know a person well enough. https://wizzlove.com1