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Joined devRant on 12/5/2019
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My boyfriend, actually. But I value the human aspect more than the tech genius in fairness. He may be no Linus Torvalds but I don't care and wouldn't change him.
Why him?
He's very kind to less experienced developers and always happy to help them. He teaches them not only how to solve things but how to get un-stuck the next time and what to learn.
His code reviews are inside out, not just a quick scan, he gives a chance to learn and takes one for himself too.
He takes pride in delivering great quality, well thought over code, on time.
He owns his mistakes and isn't afraid to admit when he makes them.
He reads a ton of tech books and always learns something new yet stays humble while discussing things he knows a lot about.
He has a ton of hobbies other than coding which he's good at.
Ah there, yeah whatever I'm a big softie today 😋 he's not on DevRant btw. Also sometimes I want to punch him too, but mainly he's a good guy :)5 -
*looks at data in database*
This float column seems wierd. The fractional parts are never above .59
*reality sets in*
Wtf the previous devs encoded whole minutes as hundredths. 1.25 = 1h 25 minutes.
Fuck me...no wonder the numbers weren't adding up correctly.7 -
Boss: Can we add a [Close] button at the top right of the modal instead for all the items, the back at the lower left seems out of place.
Me: What modal? You mean move the back button to the top right of the page?
Boss: And make it say [Close]
Me: But it navigates Back. It's not a modal so it doesn't close. [Back] makes more sense than [Close].
Boss: Ok
...
Boss: Change the [Back] on the modal to [Close].
Me: But... fine...
Buttons all now say "Close", they all have double quotes. No one has said anything.18 -
So, a couple of weeks ago I started a temporary job writing code mostly for DB purposes. I noticed during that time there was a specific person just copying my code and not giving credit in the meetings. So I decided to put a small, quirky, joke in my last code just to see if the person reviewed it before presenting.
FF to yesterday, the person did not check the code and he presented a table with a field called PENIS Contract Length in our zoom meeting.
Not sorry at all9 -
On Slack
Me: I can't access the VPN
Network team: You have to create a user incident
My browser: 403
Network team: Yeah you need to be on the VPN to access the incident system
Me: 😐18 -
Yesterday, in a meeting with project stakeholders and a dev was demoing his software when an un-handled exception occurred, causing the app to crash.
Dev: “Oh..that’s weird. Doesn’t do that on my machine. Better look at the log”
- Dev looks at the log and sees the exception was a divide by zero error.
Dev: “Ohhh…yea…the average price calculation, it’s a bug in the database.”
<I burst out laughing>
Me: “That’s funny.”
<Dev manager was not laughing>
DevMgr: “What’s funny about bugs in the database?”
Me: “Divide by zero exceptions are not an indication of a data error, it’s a bug in the code.”
Dev: “Uhh…how so? The price factor is zero, which comes from a table, so that’s a bug in the database”
Me: “Jim, will you have sales with a price factor of zero?”
StakeholderJim: “Yea, for add-on items that we’re not putting on sale. Hats, gloves, things like that.”
Dev: “Steve, did anyone tell you the factor could be zero?”
DBA-Steve: “Uh...no…just that the value couldn’t be null. You guys can put whatever you want.”
DevMgr: “So, how will you fix this bug?”
DBA-Steve: “Bug? …oh…um…I guess I could default the value to 1.”
Dev: “What if the user types in a zero? Can you switch it to a 1?”
Me: “Or you check the factor value before you try to divide. That will fix the exception and Steve won’t have to do anything.”
<awkward couple of seconds of silence>
DevMgr: “Lets wrap this up. Steve, go ahead and make the necessary database changes to make sure the factor is never zero.”
StakeholderJim: “That doesn’t sound right. Add-on items should never have a factor. A value of 1 could screw up the average.”
Dev: “Don’t worry, we’ll know the difference.”
<everyone seems happy and leaves the meeting>
I completely lost any sort of brain power to say anything after Dev said that. All the little voices kept saying were ‘WTF? WTF just happened? No really…W T F just happened!?’ over and over. I still have no idea on how to articulate to anyone with any sort of sense about what happened. Thanks DevRant for letting me rant.15 -
We have a new developer working in our office. He is fairly new, which is understandable, so he asks for help regularly(which I actually appreciate). This time however, he asked for help, and every step of the way argued it. He said he needed help making a small circle(it's just an indicator on a table).
I told him if there is a mat-icon it would be simple, but if not it would still be pretty simple with CSS. He argued that those two options seem messy. I pointed out they are extremely clean actually, and showed him how it was only about 4 lines of css. and 1 if there was a material icon. He agreed it was pretty easy, and then went with a complicated way to have green or red. I let him know that was really trivial, and even gave him the exact code he needed for it(at this point, he could have copy and pasted, adjusted the conditional to the name of his variable, and be done).
He proceeds to take 3 more days to complete this task, making a new component for a colored circle, using templates and nested css in the html, and hard coding the color as opposed to using the material colors we use site wide. All in all 100+ lines of code. And he felt my solution with fewer than 10 lines was messy.14 -
PM - We are going to launch registration of users in mobile phone. We are going to use blah internal framework as with it we will have same experience in mobile and desktop will be same.
Me - Shouldn't the experience be different on desktop its easy. On mobile following that many steps may seem complicated to the user.
PM - No but the experience should remain same.
Me - face palm(sees the overly complicated framework just for building 4 pages spends time finds bug in the framework fixes them and takes four months of frustration but launches it)
PM - We feel like ideally mobile and desktop should have different experience. This allows us to register faster on mobile. As we have already aligned with the blah framework team and think best path is to build it from scratch.
Me -3 -
I worked with another developer who argued with every choice the rest of the team made, wrote overly complicated code, and was so stubborn we ended up arguing every day for 2 weeks over his poor decisions. I nearly quit twice, and nearly beat him to death with his own keyboard multiple times.2
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Watch out for these fucking bug bounty idiots.
Some time back I got an email from one shortly after making a website live. Didn't find anything major and just ran a simple tool that can suggest security improvements simply loading the landing page for the site.
Might be useful for some people but not so much for me.
It's the same kind of security tool you can search for, run it and it mostly just checks things like HTTP headers. A harmless surface test. Was nice, polite and didn't demand anything but linked to their profile where you can give them some rep on a system that gamifies security bug hunting.
It's rendering services without being asked like when someone washes your windscreen while stopped at traffic but no demands and no real harm done. Spammed.
I had another one recently though that was a total disgrace.
"I'm a web security Analyst. My Job is to do penetration testing in websites to make them secure."
"While testing your site I found some critical vulnerabilities (bugs) in your site which need to be mitigated."
"If you have a bug bounty program, kindly let me know where I should report those issues."
"Waiting for response."
It immediately stands out that this person is asking for pay before disclosing vulnerabilities but this ends up being stupid on so many other levels.
The second thing that stands out is that he says he's doing a penetration test. This is illegal in most major countries. Even attempting to penetrate a system without consent is illegal.
In many cases if it's trivial or safe no harm no foul but in this case I take a look at what he's sending and he's really trying to hack the site. Sending all kinds of junk data and sending things to try to inject that if they did get through could cause damage or provide sensitive data such as trying SQL injects to get user data.
It doesn't matter the intent it's breaking criminal law and when there's the potential for damages that's serious.
It cannot be understated how unprofessional this is. Irrespective of intent, being a self proclaimed "whitehat" or "ethical hacker" if they test this on a site and some of the commands they sent my way had worked then that would have been a data breach.
These weren't commands to see if something was possible, they were commands to extract data. If some random person from Pakistan extracts sensitive data then that's a breach that has to be reported and disclosed to users with the potential for fines and other consequences.
The sad thing is looking at the logs he's doing it all manually. Copying and pasting extremely specific snippets into all the input boxes of hacked with nothing to do with the stack in use. He can't get that many hits that way.4 -
I do like my current employer very much :D
This is a snip from an official job ad in their portal :)7 -
Java's shitshow, or why I'll never like java, the language:
The fact that you cannot read the length of an iterable at any point in time without iterating through it. Did I just read this from DB? Yes, I did. Do I know how many items I read? No. Why? Because fuck the designers of this shit language and all its shitty third-party libraries. 😠😠😠18 -
Oh boy, this is gonna be good:
TL;DR: Digital bailiffs are vulnerable as fuck
So, apparently some debt has come back haunting me, it's a somewhat hefty clai and for the average employee this means a lot, it means a lot to me as well but currently things are looking better so i can pay it jsut like that. However, and this is where it's gonna get good:
The Bailiff sent their first contact by mail, on my company address instead of my personal one (its's important since the debt is on a personal record, not company's) but okay, whatever. So they send me a copy of their court appeal, claiming that "according to our data, you are debtor of this debt". with a URL to their portal with a USERNAME and a PASSWORD in cleartext to the message.
Okay, i thought we were passed sending creds in plaintext to people and use tokenized URL's for initiating a login (siilar to email verification links) but okay! Let's pretend we're a dumbfuck average joe sweating already from the bailiff claims and sweating already by attempting to use the computer for something useful instead of just social media junk, vidya and porn.
So i click on the link (of course with noscript and network graph enabled and general security precautions) and UHOH, already a first red flag: The link redirects to a plain http site with NOT username and password: But other fields called OGM and dossiernumer AND it requires you to fill in your age???
Filling in the received username and password obviously does not work and when inspecting the page... oh boy!
This is a clusterfuck of javascript files that do horrible things, i'm no expert in frontend but nothing from the homebrewn stuff i inspect seems to be proper coding... Okay... Anyways, we keep pretending we're dumbasses and let's move on.
I ask for the seemingly "new" credentials and i receive new credentials again, no tokenized URL. okay.
Now Once i log in i get a horrible looking screen still made in the 90's or early 2000's which just contains: the claimaint, a pie chart in big red for amount unpaid, a box which allows you to write an - i suspect unsanitized - text block input field and... NO DATA! The bailiff STILL cannot show what the documents are as evidence for the claim!
Now we stop being the pretending dumbassery and inspect what's going on: A 'customer portal' that does not redirect to a secure webpage, credentials in plaintext and not even working, and the portal seems to have various calls to various domains i hardly seem to think they can be associated with bailiff operations, but more marketing and such... The portal does not show any of the - required by law - data supporting the claim, and it contains nothing in the user interface showing as such.
The portal is being developed by some company claiming to be "specialized in bailiff software" and oh boy oh boy..they're fucked because...
The GDPR requirements.. .they comply to none of them. And there is no way to request support nor to file a complaint nor to request access to the actual data. No DPO, no dedicated email addresses, nothing.
But this is really the ham: The amount on their portal as claimed debt is completely different from the one they came for today, for the sae benefactor! In Belgium, this is considered illegal and is reason enough to completely make the claim void. the siple reason is that it's unjust for the debtor to assess which amount he has to pay, and obviously bailiffs want to make the people pay the highest amount.
So, i sent the bailiff a business proposal to hire me as an expert to tackle these issues and even sent him a commercial bonus of a reduction of my consultancy fees with the amount of the bailiff claim! Not being sneery or angry, but a polite constructive proposal (which will be entirely to my benefit)
So, basically what i want to say is, when life gives you lemons, use your brain and start making lemonade, and with the rest create fertilizer and whatnot and sent it to the lemonthrower, and make him drink it and tell to you it was "yummy yummy i got my own lemons in my tummy"
So, instead of ranting and being angry and such... i simply sent an email to the bailiff, pointing out various issues (the ones6 -
God, don't you love it when your team COMPLETELY IGNORES all the work you do, dismisses it outright, and then acts rude to you? And then when they do take one of your suggestions, they say 'wow you ACTUALLY contributed' as if you haven't been trying to contribute the whole time only to get ignored?!9
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Microsoft: we're releasing chromium based edge on 15th of Jan 2020
Government tax website: this website works only on Internet Explorer
Please god put me out of my misery22 -
Before becoming a developer, I used to work as a sales rep at this company that spent a good amount of time building what they believed to be an innovative state-of-the-art “code generator”. It was basically a scaffolding tool for generating software.
They were using it to auto generate customized iOS and Android native mobile app templates, along with a web backed.
The problem was that the generated code was shit, and the developers on the team basically spent more time fixing bugs than if they had built everything from scratch. But their passion for the product meant they just kept using it.
For some reason they never fixed issues in the original templates, so basically all the bugs that were found, kept showing up with each new app!
I have never seen apps like this that essentially had more bugs than features. Opening more than 10 app screen meant the app would freeze and crash. Sign up forms were actually dummy forms. The list goes on...
All the apps had the same shitty UI. For example, Product pages had a product image area that was like 5% of the screen view!
Last but not least, apps had a backend IP address hardcoded pointing to a server with an IP address that was temporary. So one day they had to restart the server and suddenly all customer apps stopped working and required a software update to work!
It was amazing seeing how a team of 3 developers trying to fix messy autogenerated code, couldn’t accomplish what was essentially a website on an app that I managed to build in my free time.
That’s how I knew it was time to quit my job and code full time.2 -
WTH?! I just installed Windows on a high end laptop and fiber connection in under 20 minutes.
Nobody told me this is how people in first-world countries lived!!12 -
*Website exists*
Client: “I should be rich by now. Please fix.”
Me: “... Did you do any ... marketing?”
Client: “I don’t have money for marketing. That’s what the website is for.”7 -
I feel that I should mention my reason for having joined devRant.
Although I often write computer programs, I do not consider myself to be a computer programmer, for the problems which I solve often do not pertain to the method which I use to solve a problem with a computer program. Rather, I am an intelligence analyst, and this has been my title for approximately sixteen (16) years.
I joined devRant not only because I wished to better the computer programs which I write, although this could be better accomplished by again reading the specifications for the programming languages which I use, but also because I wished to join an on-line community of which the members are interesting and competent. As I read threads, I observe that both of these requirements have been matched, with the emphasis being placed on the latter requirement.
I thank the majority of you for maintaining an on-line community which is not (total) crap. Ha.9 -
The Dutch minister of justice and (national) security is joining the countries that are in favor of weakening encryption algorithms so law enforcement "can combat child pornography and terrorism better".
Oh yeah no fucking great, I was hoping that the Dutch ministers weren't as incompetent on this one as the ones from the US and Australia who want this as well (and probably even more countries).
Let's fuck over an entire country with false arguments while it won't help for shit!
😑
Sources: (dutch)
https://tweakers.net/nieuws/160786/...
https://security.nl/posting/634061/...15 -
Half life 2 runs smoothly in a 12 year old PC with Nvidia 8500, 1 GB RAM, and a dual core.
A FPS with wavy water reflection, body physics and huge designed maps which is updates every fucking frame.
Today I can't run smoothly an IDE with 8 GB of RAM and 4 cores.
A program which only reacts to events stutters if I write at more than 3 letters per sec.
I wanna go back. Can we go back? Lets keep the new hardware and go back with the software pleeeease.20