When your mother keep waking you up asking where is MS Office Word...

Manager: Write a function to get tomorrow's date.

Kids:

int getTomorrowsDate() {
return getCurrentDate() + 1;
}

Legends:

int getTomorrowsDate() {
sleep(1000*60*60*24);
return getCurrentDate();
}

Boss: we need high precision volume control
Me: say no more...

The future boys!

Apparently this is norm around here.... fml

Lodash, Rimraf, Grunt, Gulp... I'm still not convinced that our frontend guy isn't just playing Pokémon Go all day

When you fucked up, but everything is working.

Credits to my son.

Always

No. Just no.

I've put my nose down the books regarding cryptology quite alot lately, and at the end of the day, I really think that Bob and Alice should just meet and talk in person.

My friend is a css guy and he told me this

.illuminati {
position: absolute;
visibility: hidden;
}

*knock knock*
"Who's there?"
"Release"
"Release who?"
"Release this friday!"

Person: Check out this “savage” file!

Me: Huh?

Person: *Shows SVG file*

🙄

Sometimes my terminal has answers to ALL of my questions ..

Knock knock!

Who's there?

(after sixty seconds)

Java program.

"Let's add security later"

The aCalendar app let's you choose vibration pattern, it's one of the better settings I've seen.

Angular Y U du dis to me

😭 😭 😂

Okay, we all ranters love pizza, right?

TIL something that we should ALL keep in mind while buying pizza.

One 18 inch pizza has more pizza than two 12 inch pizzas.

if ((3.142*9*9) > (2*3.142*6*6)) {
return buyPizza(18inch, 1);
} else {
/* stop being an imbecile. This is dead code */
}

Well apparently my compression algorithm actually made the file bigger. Back to the drawing board I guess?

This is me when some software have one month free subscription for new accounts

Like I said, teamwork is my top priority.

Triggered?

Hi everyone,

We're currently experiencing major issues with the devrant.io domain due to another outage/problem with .io domains themselves. More info here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item/...

The issue is also being reported on twitter.

If you receive a host not found, connection error, etc. connecting to devRant, this is why. We'll keep you updated and in the future we will probably be switching away from .io at least for our API.

Thanks for the patience.

Meeting with smooth suit guy:

"So, our company has pivoted"

I hate everything about this guy, not having slept well at all, I fucking snapped:

"Pivoted? Oh wow, what a wonderfully refined word to describe that your asinine business model smacked flat into the mud, that your obtuse bubble of vague ideas popped and your childish dreams of piles of undeserved gold got caught up by the hard reality that your product does not add any tangible value -- yet you tricked your sheepish retarded investors once again to fall for a new hype-filled pitch deck? Congratulations. At least you probably snort enough coke to keep believing in yourself..."

The guy nervously wiped his nose, stuttered, and walked off looking angry and a little confused.

So it turns out, my boss is apparently the major "sheepish retarded investor" in this company.

Today I got a mail from him. I expected fire and fury, nuclear ICBMs crashing into my desk.

"Thanks for your feedback, this is why I invite you to meetings. Could you take a look at their new pitch slides and preliminary API docs for me?"

500 kbps hotel wifi my ass. I hijacked the smart TV's Ethernet connection and voila: 100mbps

Source - Reddit

when there is no automatic closing...

Developer Says: We have trained a model to automatically categorize user posts.

Sales Department Says: We are building a decentralized peer to peer blockchain neural network based on a scalable containerized cloud of quantum computers to power internet of things devices in augmented reality while users get driven around in autonomous vehicles powered by machine learning and pay for renewable energy with cryptocurrencies.