oh god

Hey, i want to make a game and i need some help, so I'm looking for a team.

What i need is:
2 programmers
3 graphics artists
2 level designers
1 music composer
2 dialog writers
1 web designer for page and forums
5 testers

What i will do, you ask? Well, I've got some really good ideas. I think the game should be like Final Fantasy, but bigger and better. I worked with RPG Maker for two months, but I'm best with ideas. I think my ideas would make some incred...

GO SHOVE YOUR IDEAS INTO YOUR ASS! The idea means nothing. I got an idea for the best game ever, right this morning while i was taking a SHIT!

Hobby teams need people who create content. And people who can do stuff will more likely work with someone who does stuff as well and has proven that he is able to get things done.

Yeah fuck you too.

Back in the days when I started to learn c I had an assignment to print all the prime numbers between 1 to 100 but didn't know how (with if/for/while)

So I searched Google for "prime numbers from 1 to 100" and used printf to print them on the screen

I got an A+

*Opens devRant*
*sees everybody saying how great Linux is*
*Tries deepin OS*
*Keyboard backlight not working *
*Searches YouTube for a fix*
*Fixes the Backlight*
*Screen resolution set to 800*600 by defualt (monitor 1920*1080)*
*Grub decides there is no need for a windows entry*
*plugs in Windows USB*
*Opens cmd*
*diskpart*
*list disk*
*sel disk 0*
*list vol*
*sel vol 3*
*clean*
*boots into windows*
*Follows a guide to remove grub*
*Learns the lesson*
*Ooh OS X seems nice*
FML

I think I just invented a thing.

Mouse drop.

It should be a thing.

The next time I switch jobs I'll definitely do a mouse drop before I leave the building.

Dates...

Wow, he packed a lot into those 7 years!

Did this instead of commenting it out...

So, this random teen on subway asked me if it was 9GAG I was scrolling [i was on this app ofc]. I said it's better than 9GAG.
He went on like this "oh cool, does it have the the NSFW section too?"
...
Me: a...No, but can learn coding stuff
Him: hacking?
Me: hacking is not what you thin... [He interrupted me]
Him: Damn cool, I wanna learn hacking, it's my stop nice meeting you tell me the name of the app
Me: a...9...ha...ck, 9hack!
Him: cool, thanks. [Gets off]

(Um...Some people just don't deserve DevRant, if you know what I mean)

When WhatsApp is not sure whether you have messages or not😂😂

Sometimes I'm lazy and if I'm writing unit tests and there's a complicated case to test I'll just skip it.

My first dev job was the worst! The woman in charge of the building was always on my ass! She didn't really understand what programming was and didn't like that I smoked in my office... Then I moved out of my mom's house and got my own place

Rofl😂😂😂

Its always a feature. They just dont get it. 🙄

Right now someone at Google is coding something useless for us to laugh at on April Fools.

When you wait for the bus reading rants and you realize that you just missed it.

Resume: experience in c, c++, java and Android.
Recruiter: DO YOU HAVE 10+ YEARS EXPERIENCE WITH SWIFT AND IOS??!!

And then the protection broke and "Avast" was born .... and the broken nature has been there ever since.

When people spend too much time on 404 pages...

Let's clarify:
* Github is not Git
* Android is not Java
* Unit test is not TDD
* Java is not OOP
* Docker is not Devops
* Jenkins is not CI
* Agile is not institutionalised total chaos
* Developer is not Printer Support

You are a programmer if your dark circles are bigger than your friend circle.

Teaching php to noobs....
type in echo 'hello world'
Go to the browser and run the page
Do you hear the echo?

My little brother (still in school , learning security and pen testing): i found a bug in a website , it returns an xml file instead of the web page , i reported it to them and i think i'm gonna get rewarded like 2k $ for it .
Me : cool ! Show me .
Him : shows me his phone ...
Me : wait , gotta rant this .

Client : we need a better captcha system.
Dev:

Ok, people who invented CSS... which seems more intuitive and easier to read?

div {
margin-right: auto;
margin-left: auto;
}

Or

div {
center-this-damn-div: true;
}

AMD is back :D

Most people.
"Dance like no one is looking"

Me.
"Sudo like you have backups"

Don't we all love a sophisticated chat bot?

!rant

Try it out ;-)