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Wow this one deserves a rant. Where should I even begin? I got a new job for over half a year now doing work in an agency. We're building websites and online shops with Typo3 and Shopware (not my dream, but hey). All fine you might think BUT...
1) I have been working on the BIGGEST project we have all by myself since I started working at this company. No help, nobody cares.
2) If something goes wrong all the shit falls back to me like "wHy DiDnT yoU WoRk MoRE?". Seriously? How should one dev cover a project that's meant for at least two or three.
3) The project was planned four years ago (YES that's a big fat FOUR) and sat there for 3,5 years - nobody gave a fuck. I got into the company and immediately got the sucky shit project to work on.
4) I was promised some time to get familiar with the projects and tech we use and "pick something I like most to get started". Well that never happened.
5) I was also promised not to talk directly to our customers. Well, each week I was bombarded with insults, a shitload of work and nonsense by our customers because (you guessed it) I was obligated to attend meetings.
6) The scheduled time for a meeting was 30 minutes, sometimes they just went on for over two hours. Fml.
7) Project management. It does not exist. The company is just out to get more and more clients, hires more god damn managers and shit and completely neglects that we might need more devs to get all this crap finished. Nope, they don't care. By the way: this is not like a 200 employee company, it's more like 15 which makes it even sadder to have 4 managers and 3 devs.
8) We don't use trello (or anything to keep track of our "progress"), nobody knows the exact scope of the project, because it was planned FOUR FUCKING YEARS AGO.
9) They planned to use 3 months on this project to get it finished (by the way it's not just an online shop, it has a really sophisticated product configurator with like 20 dependencies). Well, we're double over that time period and it is still not finished.
10) FUCK YOU SHOPWARE
11) The clients are super unsatisfied with our service (who would have guessed). They never received official documents from us (that's why nobody knows the scope), nor did they receive the actual screen design of the shop so we just have to make it up on the go. Of course I mean "I" by "we", because appearently it is my job to develop, design and manage this shit show.
12) My boss regularly throws me in front of the bus by randomly joining meetings with my client telling them the complete opposite of things that we discussed internally (he doesn't know anything about this stupid project)
13) FUCK YOU COLLEAGUES, FUCK YOU COMPANY, FUCK YOU SHOPWARE AND FUCK YOU STUPID CUSTOMERS.
14) Oh btw. the salary sucks ass, it's barely a couple of bucks above minimum wage. Don't ask me why I accepted the offer. I guess it was better than nothing in the meantime.
Boy that feels good. I needed that rant. But hey don't get me wrong. I get that dev jobs can be hard and sucky, but this is beyond stupidity that I can bear. I therefore applied for a dev job in research at a university in my dream country. Nice colleagues, interesting projects, good project management. They accepted me, gave me a good offer and I can happily say that in 6-7 weeks my current company can go fuck themselves (nobody knows the 10.000+ lines of code but me). Just light it up and watch it burn!19
Micromanager: "Hey, Root!
Since you're back, and still not feeling well, we have an easy ticket for you: Rewrite the slack integration gem! Oh, you don't have to re-implement all of it, just make sure it all works the same way it does now. That bitch you worked with once over a year ago who kept throwing you under the bus to management and stealing credit for your work? Yeah, she wrote the original code like four years ago. It's perfect, so don't touch it. but she can fill you in on all the details you need and get you up to speed on how to test it.
But yep! It should be simple. and I just knew you would love this ticket, so I saved it just for you. Nice and quick, too, to get you an easy win.
You know, since you have to repair your reputation with product. and management. and the execs. and the rest of the team. and me. Yeah, product doesn't trust you so they don't want to give you any tickets. They just can't trust you to get them out and have them work. So you have a lot of hard work to do."
Spoiler: The bus-thrower wasn't much help. (Surprise.)
Spoiler: The ticket was already in my backlog -- one of a grand total of two tickets.
Spoiler: I don't find the ticket fun. Maybe if I was to write the entire implementation with a nice DSL? but no, "don't touch the perfect code." Fuck you.
Spoiler: It isn't going to be nice or quick. But, she (micromanager) is looking to lose me, so that really is an easy win. for her.
And. just. argh. fuck you. i've been exhausted and dying for well over a year, but you've kept ignoring that (and still are, despite me providing goddamn legal forms from fucking doctors stating it in plain fucking english, which you also fucking ignore), and you just keep piling on the work and demanding the ridiculous of me despite it. Yeah I can pull it off sometimes. No, I really shouldn't, and I'm surprised I can. (also, "Time off? What, and lower your productivity even more? ____ doesn't even take vacations. And how are you doing on that ticket?") And no, none of my tickets have ever had any fucking problems. Not even when there are upstream service outages. Not. a. single. fucking. one. Ever. And the only things I've ever missed were things that bloody product never put in the fucking ticket, so fuck you with your "repair your reputation" bullshit.
god, i fuckiNG HATE THESESTUPOID ANWETLJAF SAJEWTKW BITCHFACEDUCKFUCKERS
Why the FUCK am I still fucking working here?
Right, because I've been burned out and dying so much I can't pass a fucking interview so I can fucking leave.
ugh. Anyway. If you ever find yourself starting work at a Cali fintech company whose internal mascot is a very fine duck? Just run. I absolutely guarantee you will be miserable.15
PM is such a fucking cunt
telling me that my data structures describing the layout of binary data would be confusing for devs, and that we shall introduce
typedef fuckingRetardedObfuscatingName uint8_t;
in our code. everyone is fine with the concepts i provide to describe this binary data, not only at our company but also in other software i've worked on and common standards i've worked with, we work like that and every fucking idiot knows what a uin8_t is.
you fucking braindead imbecile have no fucking idea how we work and you don't care, you don't even try to understand what we are doing.
god i hope you die being hit by a fucking bus or something8
30hr non stop programming during university. Self proclaimed "best programmer" did not have shit the day before the deadline while he said he was done 2 weeks before that.
He also proclaimed being the "best leader" and kept trying to take that role from the one we decided on before he joined the group.
He also proclaimed amd lied about making all the documentation to save his own ass and trowing us under the bus while we did not even mention saving his ass.
And much more.
My blood still starts to boil when i see the guy.
I think I finally found my level of lazyness:
I rather go 2 minutes by feet and take a 15 minute bus ride instead of going 5 minutes by feet to take a 3-4 minute metro ride.2
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”2
Not necessarily a DEV rant, but a rant nonetheless.
This day sucks.
So first, my bus got late 25 minutes, because entire city decided that it will take a car - because it was raining horizontally. At some point I was doing 1 km in 10 minutes. Then my train got delayed by 5 minutes. So l had to do a little bit of cardio and ran to the next bus from station to school.
When I finally made it - surprisingly 5 minutes before the start of the exam, it turned out that I wasn't even on the list of participants. Which was surprising to both me and teachers, because I was clearly registered on the portal. Well, they hand added me in and let me in.
Then I open my laptop, I start it up
I try to start the exam. But it said that I don't even have the examination program - even tho I did install it yesterday.
So I had to quickly download it and reinstall it. Then I could finally write the Project Management exam.
Thankfully the exam went fine, I feel confident about the results, but it’s like everything tried to make sure I am not gonna make it.3
TL;DR; do your best all you like, strive to be the #1 if you want to, but do not expect to be appreciated for walking an extra mile of excellence. You can get burned for that.
They say verbalising it makes it less painful. So I guess I'll try to do just that. Because it still hurts, even though it happened many years ago.
I was about to finish college. As usual, the last year we have to prepare a project and demonstrate it at the end of the year. I worked. I worked hard. Many sleepless nights, many nerves burned. I was making an android app - StudentBuddy. It was supposed to alleviate students' organizational problems: finding the right building (city plans, maps, bus schedules and options/suggestions), the right auditorium (I used pictures of building evac plans with classes indexed on them; drawing the red line as the path to go to find the right room), having the schedule in-app, notifications, push-notifications (e.g. teacher posts "will be 15 minutes late" or "15:30 moved to aud. 326"), homework, etc. Looots of info, loooots of features. Definitely lots of time spent and heaps of new info learned along the way.
The architecture was simple. It was a server-side REST webapp and an Android app as a client. Plenty of entities, as the system had to cover a broad spectrum of features. Consequently, I had to spin up a large number of webmethods, implement them, write clients for them and keep them in-sync. Eventually, I decided to build an annotation processor that generates webmethods and clients automatically - I just had to write a template and define what I want generated. That worked PERFECTLY.
In the end, I spun up and implemented hundreds of webmethods. Most of them were used in the Android app (client) - to access and upsert entities, transition states, etc. Some of them I left as TBD for the future - for when the app gets the ADMIN module created. I still used those webmethods to populate the DB.
The day came when I had to demonstrate my creation. As always, there was a commission: some high-level folks from the college, some guests from businesses.
My turn to speak. Everything went great, as reversed. I present the problem, demonstrate the app, demonstrate the notifications, plans, etc. Then I describe at high level what the implementation is like and future development plans. They ask me questions - I answer them all.
I was sure I was going to get a 10 - the highest score. This was by far the most advanced project of all presented that day!
Other people do their demos. I wait to the end patiently to hear the results. Commission leaves the room. 10 minutes later someone comes in and calls my name. She walks me to the room where the judgement is made. Uh-oh, what could've possibly gone wrong...?
The leader is reading through my project's docs and I don't like the look on his face. He opens the last 7 pages where all the webmethods are listed, points them to me and asks:
LEAD: What is this??? Are all of these implemented? Are they all being used in the app?
ME: Yes, I have implemented all of them. Most of them are used in the app, others are there for future development - for when the ADMIN module is created
LEAD: But why are there so many of them? You can't possibly need them all!
ME: The scope of the application is huge. There are lots of entities, and more than half of the methods are but extended CRUD calls
LEAD: But there are so many of them! And you say you are not using them in your app
ME: Yes, I was using them manually to perform admin tasks, like creating all the entities with all the relations in order to populate the DB (FTR: it was perfectly OK to not have the app completed 100%. We were encouraged to build an MVP and have plans for future development)
LEAD: <shakes his head in disapproval>
LEAD: Okay, That will be all. you can return to the auditorium
In the end, I was not given the highest score, while some other, less advanced projects, were. I was so upset and confused I could not force myself to ask WHY.
I still carry this sore with me and it still hurts to remember. Also, I have learned a painful life lesson: do your best all you like, strive to be the #1 if you want to, but do not expect to be appreciated for walking an extra mile of excellence. You can get burned for that.
My shift (9h, afternoon-evening) + a shift I had promised to cover for someone (9h, evening-morning) + a day full of lectures (seminars) (morning-afternoon)+my shift (9h, afternoon-evening).
I know that the lectures do not account for "working", but it definitely wasn't "resting" either. Hadn't time to sleep or eat at any point. I think I didn't even drive back home after the last shift - took the bus, because at that point I couldn't even remember where I left my car... And I don't remember getting out of the bus at my stop. No clue how I got to my home/bed. I must've ridden the bus standing to stay awake
Why does Google have to buy big billboard ads at the bus stops to convince people to use Google search?
Did Google finally realize that despite being the best search engine, many of their results are still pretty shitty?
Or do they merely want to distract from the anti-FAANG (don't) be evil discussion?5
So... This is something that happened some time ago.
I went to my company's end-of-year celebration party. Since I've done mostly contractor stuff, I didn't really know anyone and thought this'd be a good chance to meet my peers.
My coworkers ended up being mostly HR people, and I couldn't find even one person with common interests.
It was a 2 hour bus ride away, and I had to stay over at a friend's place for the night, but that wasn't bad.
The party itself well...it started at 7pm and ended at... 4 am During that time I just wanted to be somewhere else. I felt alienated and out of place. I couldn't even play phone games since I had lost my phone the day prior.
The one conversation I had was forced upon me by a smug bastard who probably worked at HR or management. Wanted me to agree with him on something while I just wanted to go drink alone. He kept redefining words and moving goal posts every time I disagreed.
Most of the "party" was people 10-20 years older than me dancing to music I hadn't heard since I was in middle school.
The food was bad and sparse. The drinks... not even good either. Cheap pub drinks. No decent mixes.
To top it all off I couldn't leave early.
Just felt like ranting about this4
How do I put "forced to cowtow to a product manager who doesn't know the product" into my resume?
As an addition, maybe add in "asked questions several times but was browbeat into conformity only to realize conformity was wrong" and "asked for support I never got, then thrown under the bus when I acted on my own on a deadline". If it helps matters, I have been in meetings I never should have been in and had to make decisions I never should have been in the position to make.2
In a bus, with my phone as a wifi hotspot. Lucky it wasnt crowded. I was working on that uni project up untill the last minute before i had to present it.
i'm sitting on the bus a few years ago, slamming the keyboard on my chromebook to try and get a wifi password. open crosh by accident. i went to check it out for a few days. i check back a few years later, every tab (basically everything for CrOS) autocloses if it has "crosh" in the url (regardless if it's crosh or not.) this pisses me off. i tell my brother about it, and he gets the terminal running for one day. how? i still dont know, sadly the program he installed (a harmless music notation app) breaks as well as the terminal. to this day i still wonder about what our IT department was thinking.
got kicked out of a contract today because the owner felt I wasn't moving at the pace he wanted, there were no milestones but even i knew I was slow.
this happened when I started talking to a therapist because I was beginning to have suicidal thoughts and anxiety issues.
I had to run work errands for my everly screaming mom and manipulative dad.
these same people who I begged with no success for money to buy a used core 2 duo laptop for programming projects.
I was in the bus in the afternoon sun trying to get three books from a publisher that ended up being a waste of time because she didn't follow instructions and insisted on screaming over the phone at the attendant. the client requested a meeting and I couldn't respond positively,
I get home and my dad wants me to travel down to our village home to meet with some kid he kept giving money because they wanted to have a meeting. I'm so annoyed because I told him I wanted this week off to face this already dead contract and he just ignores all of that and fixes a meeting.
I pay for electricity and gas for these people and they still treat me like shit. fuck this !1