Women, software engineers make good boyfriends.

Why?

We're not scared of committing. We do it everyday at work. :P

I got a job offer today, and I think that finally, I've found a perfect job for me.

"Hi,
I'm looking for a Full *Stuck* Java Developer..." 😂

I didn't... Some of y'all might argue I'm not even a proper dev.. and I'd agree..
I'm fixing bugz & implementing a thing or two.. but all within how project was done.. you give me a blank project, I'd probably spend days reading up on how to do it properly and still couldn't decide what sounds good to me.

I'm about to send a message to the supervisor that will terminate my job. I'm quitting my job. And that's... so exciting!

Wish me luck yo!

Guys I might have found the bug!!!

If u devide 2020 by 5

404

Phones are getting bigger screens but also heavier. Why can't they just make a mobile phone that fits nicely on one hand and doesn't weigh like 1/4th of a kilo (phone+casing+screen protector).

Achievement unlocked
Killed production database for 40 minutes

Fuck these super social media instagram influencer developers telling everyone watching their story that "everyone can be a programmer.". You can't. It's not only about syntax and a run button.

Omfg windows!! I thought you quit this shit 5 years ago!!!

The Imposter Syndrome is strong this week.

have an interview in 20 mins, this is the last round.. new job has 80% salary hike compared to current .. wish me luck guys!!!

Guy who have talked down on me for being a "shit webdeveloper who doesn't know what he does" suddenly came to ask me whether I could help optimizing his "company" (just one of those "I just say it's a company to look cool") website :^)

Is it that you don’t care that you’re being used an manipulated all the time - or that you don’t know that it’s happening?

Here's the time an Amazon recruiter scheduled a call with me just to tell me I wouldn't be getting the job.

A few years ago, I left Uber after the seemingly non-stop public snafus they were getting themselves into (I have a lot of rants about Uber if anyone is interested, some of them mind-melting). I decided to take a two month break given that my financials looked decent for once and I was tired of 100 hour weeks.

During that time, I of course started perusing the typical job-seeking sites I had remembered from before. Somehow, from one of the profiles I set up, I caught the eye of an Amazon recruiter. They emailed me and I agreed to set up a date and time for an introductory chat.

They already had my CV. They already had my StackOverflow/Github information. This wasn't a technical interview, and the recruiter wasn't part of any of the tech teams. This is important information moving forward.

A few days later, I got the call from the recruiter. He introduced himself as the person from the emails, thanking my for my time, etc.. Things started out pleasant with the smalltalk and whatnot, but then the recruiter said "so I have some concerns about your resume".

Under one of the sections I had a list of things I was skilled with - one of which, regrettably, is PHP. Completely ignoring Java, Javascript, C# and C++ knowledge and all of the other achievements I have with those technologies, the recruiter really wanted to drill me about the PHP.

"Do you work a lot with PHP?"
"No, not anymore - from time to time I have to do something with it but it's not my main language anymore. I know it quite well, though."
"Oh okay well we aren't looking for any PHP roles right now, unfortunately."
"Okay, no problem."

Perhaps I could have said more, but from my end of things, I meant "I don't see a problem here, I don't write a lot of PHP and you don't need a lot of PHP".

After a pause that felt like an hour, the recruiter broke the silence and said "Okay well thanks for your time today, I'm sorry things didn't work out."

Bewildered, I asked which technology stack they were using on the team.

"Not PHP, unfortunately. Thank you for your time." and then an abrupt click.

The recruiter found me himself, looked at my resume (assumably), sought out to contact me, arranged a time for a call, and then called me, just to tell me I wouldn't get the position due to knowing PHP at some point in my career.

Years later, the whole interaction still shocks me. Somewhere in my drafts I have a long letter to the recruiter basically going over my entire career history explaining why his call was incredibly... well, fucking weird. Towards the end of writing it I realized it was more therapeutic for me to deal with whatever it was that just took place and that it probably wouldn't change my odds of working at Amazon.

So yeah. That's the story of the time Amazon set up a recruiting call just to tell me I wouldn't be working for them.

I think a question should be added to tech interviews and maybe the most important one.

How many times in a week do you use Google/internet to look for a solution to/information about ur problems.

Tests for a developers ability to learn or try to figure things out themselves..

Feels like a lot of people on my team just do it the way it's always been done ,. Which is ahitty.. and if they don't know something,.. they need to ask someone instead of trying to figure it out themselves...

Reminds me of that fish adage?

They never learn how to fish....

Fuck this
I get to work with API where you CAN authenticate with username/password and get a token

But you CAN'T get user info from token (auth response contains ONLY token)

So what I have to do:

1. Get token

2. Request ALL FUCKING USERS and load them into my DB

3. Search through local DB by username and, yeah, here I go

Now I need to have a cron job to update user DB 1/2 times per day

I can't think of ANY reason not to allow this

why do we do this to ourselves. Create an VM that is accessible via rdp. It souds great isn't it? Until some FUCKFACE CO-WORKER STEALS YOUR FUCKING RDP EVERY GODDAMN TIME. FFFFUUUCCCKKK

Why is there a motification for upvotes but not downvotes. I wanna see which punk downvoted my comments and harass him online!

FUCK YOU FUCKING AZURE FUCKING FUNCTIONS:

EITHER LIMIT MY NUMBER OF TCP CONNECTIONS (before violently crashing)

or

FORCE ME TO USE THE GODDAMN PORT-PISSING, BARELY-MULTITHREAD-USABLE, SETTINGS-IGNORING EXCUSE OF A PATHETIC BUILT-IN HTTPCLIENT ON FUCKING CRACK (Seriously .net people fix that shit).

But not both... both are not okay!

If your azure function just moderately uses outgoing Http requests you will inevitably be fucked up by the dreaded connection exhaustion error. ESPECIALLY if using consumption plans.

I Swear, every day i am that much closer to permanently swearing off everything cloud based in favor of VM's (OH BUT THEN YOU HAVE TO MAINTAIN THE VM's BOO HOO, I HAVE TO BABYSIT THE GODDAMN CLOUD INFRASTRUCTURE AS WELL AT LEAST I CAN LOG IN TO A VM TO FIX SHIT, fuck that noise)

I am in my happy place today. At least I'm having great success diving into minecraft modding on the side, that shit is FUN!

For fucks sake, corporate IT has locked a database application for new entries because it will be phased out by the end of the year. However, the new application is not yet working.

The interim solution? An excel sheet on a shared network drive. In fucking 2020! Unbe-fucking-lievable!

From today's PhD interview:
Prof: What can your teammates do that will really annoy you?
Me: Have loud, long, private phone calls in the open space. I don't want to listen to people divorcing.
Prof: And what would you do if your colleague did that?
Me: I'd walk to him....and tell him..."I understand why she is divorcing you!"

The level of fucking backflips I have to do to get these morons to learn git and not share code via fucking emails, Jesus Christ, you'd think I asked them to switch religions. Why the fuck does this profession not require a fucking license in this godforsaken country.

Shut that computer off and go home. You'll think clearer in the morning.

This female collegue whom I used to hangout during tea and lunch has suddenly started hanging out with another female collegue.

I'm alone, sad and overthinking is killing me. I asked her if there is something I said or did that made her hang out with someone else.

She said it's not a big deal and I should stop creating drama. I think I lost my self-respect while facing her about this.

Yesterday I had a phone screening with a hiring manager and was expected to talk about more of my expertise and just my experience overall. With four years of experience, I thought I could tell her everything she needed to know.

However, this interview was just kind of... weird. Literally every question she asked was defintiions. It was as if I was doing a short answer quiz.

"What is object-oriented programming?"
"What is a hashmap versus a list?"
"What is class inheritance?"

Like... What the fuck. These are questions that give no insight into who I am or how I work. This is shit you see on a second-year midterm exam. What a waste of time.

Reinvent the wheel, then throw it away.
Best way to understand a concept

* KISS (keep it super simple)
* don’t try solve a problem you don’t already have
* admit if you messed up. We can solve a problem early and minimise the damage. People should never be scared to admit when they mess up. No one is perfect.
* voice your opinion. You’d be surprised how helpful this can be to your team, as we need to look at things from all angles.
* help your team. If you see something wrong, make the team aware of it.
* ask if unsure, don’t assume

Men fo real! I dont rant so much because I think its a negative attitude but let me do it anyway! Listen. My boss boss told me to create a dynamic drop which I did. A backend request then display it on the frontend which is easy, then on code review he ask why do we need this error handling. Bruh as soon as I heard that question, I got covid. Bitch we do need that error handling because if theres error on requests it will set to default options, but I didn’t say anything tho. I just ask what will happen if there’s an error?, he said I don’t think a simple request will respond error if you did it right. Then I agreed and remove the code. Hot damn! Mind you guys. When they started the app there are no test code. 0, nada, nothing inside the spec folder.

Never ask "How to start with X?". It's a dumb open-ended question with vague open-ended solutions.

Rather ask "I'm at X, want to do Y, I have Z proposed solution. Does that sound good?"

Builds context, focusses on action and is more efficient.

1. You don't code to add a feature or whatever. You do it to solve Users' problems. It's a User-centric system.
2. You read more code than you write. So help yourself and write code intended to be read.
3. If people don't know you did something, you did nothing!
4. Never answer a call at 3 am if you're not paid to be on night call-duty. You'll become the guy who answers at 3 am.
5. Remember the big difference between you and me is that I failed to do stuff more times than you have tried to do.
6. When you start shaving the yak, stop!