*facepalms*

JavaScript guys!! 🤣😅😅

Finally! I can switch from English to modern hieroglyphics.

So my company hired this very old guy. The oldest developer I have worked with. I feel they took him just because of diversity.

Because he was absolutely incompetent.

Nothing he wrote ever worked, he got in conflict with everyone, made stupid jokes at meetings, asked the dumbest questions. His stories would hang for weeks, hopping sprint over sprint. Once he delivered something, his code had to be re-written from scratch. A code review couldn't even be applied as the code was worthless, so it just made sense to reassign his tasks to someone else and move on.

So after much drama he was let go. It was maybe two years ago and I recently connected with him on LinkedIn. He's changed four or more jobs since then. Prior to coming to our company he also job-hopped all the time (but most likely he was actually fired every time). His average job duration was like 6 months. Apart from that, he had a 20+ year stay with some government agency.

I fail to grasp how he ever gets hired anywhere with all the red flags. Over two decades with some govt agency (in my country they are all crap). Then change jobs every half an year or so. Then the asshole attitude. And finally, they probably never asked him any technical questions, because he knew nothing. Our interns who were just one month into the job were better by a WIDE margin.

I said stuff that made me sound smart.

I had no idea what the job was about.

Another dev on my team just got a new machine. Before he came in today I made two separate USB installers and left him these notes.

A devDuck update!

Hey everyone,

First off, thank you to everyone who has purchased a devDuck (or a bunch!) and thanks to all who have given us feedback. @trogus and I are thrilled at the incredible response these ducks have gotten. If you haven’t seen them yet, you can check them out at https://devDucks.com or the devRant Swag Shop (https://swag.devrant.io).

We are trying to process all of the orders as quickly as possible and our goal is to have all current orders out by the middle of this coming week. Many orders have already shipped, but if yours hasn’t, rest assured it will very soon!

If you ordered a Java devDuck or cape, your order might be delayed a bit until the middle of this coming week because Java seems to be a heavily-demanded cape and we needed to get the material shipped in to make more of that, specifically.

So far we’ve gotten some awesome feedback from the community. A short list of possible future additions based on what’s been requested: Go devDuck, Kotlin devDuck, Perl devDuck, Android devDuck, and possibly some devDuck accessories like little hats, sunglasses, headphones, etc. If you have any other ideas just let us know:)

Lastly, please know that even with the launch of devDucks, we remain extremely committed to the devRant product and we have some very exciting big devRant features coming very soon.

Thanks again everyone!

Manual Data Entry: Most boring job
This reminds me of one conversation with one of my faculty..
Faculty: Why not try some Machine Learning Project?
Me: Cool. Any ideas you have already thought
Faculty: Comes up with a really noble idea
Me: Awesome idea. But we need data
Faculty: Don't worry. I will get it. Just help me setup Hadoop (see the irony.. no data yet, and he wants big data setup)
Me: But we don't have data. Let's focus of data collection, Sir
Faculty: I will get it. Don't worry. Trust me.
( I did setup for him twice coz he formatted the system on which I did the setup first time)
After 6 months,
Me: (same question) Sir, Data??
Faculty: I got it.
Me: Great. Give me, I can start looking into it from today.
Faculty: Actually, it's in a register written manually in a different language (which even I can't understand) I will hire data entry guys to convert it into English digital contents.
Me: *facepalm*
Road to Manual data entry to Big Data
Dedicating this pencil to the individuals keeping the register up to date and Sir in hopes of converting it into big data..
Long way to go..

I feel a high amount of self rightiousnes

Hello guys. So after I posted the rant about me blocking Google and Facebook through my hosts file, some people commented with the idea of creating a gitlab page with more privacy tips etc.

Well, that is turning into a project (actual website) that I initially started alone but @ewpratten joined the 'team' as frontender!

He'll be doing the front end and I'll be doing the backend :).

I think this will be my first ever (active) collab so I'm pretty excited =D.

‎Dell and those important updates.

IE8 YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.

My grandpa just called me and asked if I could remove some Facebook notifications from his phone. I know it's been milked to the moon and back, but I'm a programmer, not IT.
I guess I don't blame him, though; in his mind, that's probably what all programmers do.
Here's the real wtf thing: he told me that after I messed with his phone last time I saw him, it's been sooo much faster. WTF I NEVER MESSED WITH YOUR PHONE ALL I DID WAS ADD MY CONTACT INFO

why me

When on monday, a client asks you "WHY SOMETHING ISN'T FINISHED". Well, we don't work on weekends. Fuck off.

Its not a bug, it's a feature.

When you are working on a feature and someone else is working on the same thing and you commit at the same time and now you have to resolve conflicts but both versions work

To all you devs still wet behind the ears ranting about css - you have no clue just how good you have it.

Most designs used to be table based (table-ception) and to give something a border with round corners or a "drop shadow" you would literally create a table to hold you content with an border of cells containing a background image of a corner / border.

Now you use border-radius or box-shadow as a 1 liner. Stop bitching about centering things and figure out how to hack it like we did.

If you remember this whats your least missed 20th century hack?

"Look it's people"

When I was at my lowest, my buddy and me sat in front of the screen, and learned how to code from Bucky Roberts. A few years later, I finally got a proper programming gig, but never stopped freelancing. My buddy on the other hand, studied Computer Science and stopped coding for a while after graduating. 5 years later, today we sat in front of the screen and learned how to code together again. I think he has no idea what he has led me to. If he had not made me code, I would have remained the same boy from the streets. But it is not about me, I have heard so many incredible stories. The more codes you write, the more errors you'll encounter. The more errors you try to solve, the bigger the community grows. It's nice to know, there is a group of people out there, who will spend rest of their lives writing, thinking and interacting. Also, trying to figure out how to centre that piece of shit of a div with CSS! I mean wtf!

Uhh.. okay then.

I never believed in such posts until I saw this today.....

*Double face palm*

Teacher : use"ransomware" in a sentence
Student : I used to know a girl, but then she ransomware
Whole class :

512 looks like a more rounded number than 500.

well lead software engineer.....

We need to debug a HUGE legacy code project so...

Must've taken a loooot of time :)

When your boss asks you to debug some crappy legacy code and you need to bring in the heavy artillery

This is a weird bug my avatar looks completely different from my actual avatar

https://devrant.io/rants/604985/...

Thats the link but once I reloaded it changed to my normal one...

Can we agree to from now on do all our sylesheets like this?

Honestly. It takes a bit of work organizing everything but bloody hell is it easy to use.

PS I just started a decent chunk of those #ID's will be replaced it's just to build the UI up.

Also you get a + if you can guess what ui I am trying to recreate. 😂

Regression