My bird fell asleep on the laptop while licking the shiny LENOVO logo.

Dear people who leave bad reviews...

Do not use a review as a bug report, saying something crashes on your device and telling the developer to "fix this" isn't a review.

It is barely a bug report but a review is on quality, not individual issues .-.

After countless hours trying to spell my name for customer service over the phone, I made a little webpage that helps me spell words phonetically! 💬

https://dialogue.now.sh

Remember this....

Facebook & Instagram be like this.

"Good software, like wine, takes time." - Joel Spolsky

Tell that to my manager..

A friend needed to test an API so, I told him to download Postman to start testing POST request and he ask if he needed to download Getman for testing the GET ones 🤣

Google => googled

Duck duck go => duck duck went?

🤔

At funeral

Someone is mining Bitcoin in town

3 shades of Java developer.

Valid point!!!

Thanks for the info

It all makes sense now...

android devs starter pack

A group of wolves is called a pack.

A group of crows is called a murder.

A group of developers is called a merge conflict.

"So, why do you want to work at our office in mexico?"
"I want to be a señor developer."

My biggest dev sin is not writing any unit tests for devRant :/

There are still companies using coldfusion.

USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails

I am ROOOOOT!!!

The future boys!

This is just sad

Me and my wife are software engineers
Started dating while doing a project together
I guess you could say that we...
MERGED WITHOUT CONFLICTS

Stolen from an awesome book but my new favourite line ;)

Someone: “Can you repair my computer， it`s not working anymore?”

Me: “Do you call Leonardo Dicaprio when your Tv is broken?”

Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn’t leave something that can be traced back to you.

Website design philosophies:

Apple: "...and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and..."

Microsoft: "border-radius:0 !important;"

Google: "EVERYTHING MOVES!!! And most websites get material design. Most."

Amazon: "We're slowly moving away from 2009"

Wix: "How can we further increase load times?"

Literally any download site: "Click here! No, click here! Nononono!! Click here!!..."

Facebook: "We can't change anything because our main age demographic is around 55"

University websites: "That information isn't hard enough to find yet. Decrease the search accuracy and increase broken links."

What does dfox say ?

DEV, DEV, DEV, DEV ,DEV, DEV
RANT, RANT, RANT, RANT, RANT

Eclipse

It saved me from suicide.

You have to understand first that things in India work differently. Academics are not personal, but a social business. Academic competition in India is very high and not in a good way, or for the good reasons.

As a teenager was sent off from my home to the other side of the country. I didn't like it. My studies suffered, and I failed my exams. Came back home and faced months of emotional abuse (guilt trips, scornful comments, plain insults) from my parents, neighbours and relatives. Indian society is just built that way. They didn't know they were damaging my psyche, or they were too angry to care. Lots of other shit (lost friends, lost love) happened at roughly the same time period and everything started to fall like dominos.

I fell into severe depression. Lost appetite, lost sleep. Nothing mattered anymore. There were mornings when I would wake up and not get up from my bed for hours, and not even move a finger. Self-hate became the motto of the day. I became violent and anti-social. I would either be angry or trying not to break down and give up all the time. Many a night, I considered suicide. I would end up googling for easy ways out to take.

But what gave me a way out of the pains of my reality was programming. It helped my keep my head, figuratively and literally. It kept my mind distracted and gave me a sense of purpose. I would shut myself in, plug in my headphones, shut the world out and just experiment.

I am not saying that I am the best at what I do, but those sleepless and troubled nights, and many other similar nights over the years have given me a definite edge over my colleagues.

Even today, when everything is falling to pieces, I know I have something to fall back on. I still get episodes of depression every now and then, but I know I can always pick up a new project and distract myself. It probably isn't healthy, but eh...

I am alive. I code. I kick ass. My colleagues respect and value my opinion. I love my job.

Computer does what I tell it to do (mostly :p) and I feel good. Because for that small moment, I am in control of everything. For that infinitesimally small moment of my average, boring, and somewhat painful life, I am God.