“If everyone is admin, no one is admin and this is communism” - Our DBA

I've been regrowing cuttings from the boss' devils ivy

My avatar has some catching up to do

It’s funny because it’s true XD

Don't you think this is a bit ex-css-ive

Linux is only free if your time has no value.

You'll need little knowledge of porn and meme to understand this ...

windows update code

function update(){
print("10%");
print("30%");
print("50%");
print("99%");
_doActualUpdate();
_mineBitcoin();
print("100%");
return;
}

"updates"

Me these days

I have this headache that...

Y’all need to stop scrolling and go back to work

When you have a merge conflict

Don’t get too attached to your code.

"The problem is we don't listen to understand, we listen to reply."

Software requirements

READ THE FUCKEN LOGS.

Make a version that works, as fast as you can. THEN, worry about elegancy.

Boss: Every day is a new opportunity to start fresh
Me: Can we start over this project because I fucked it up and I don't want to clean it
Boss: No

"But I don't know where to start..."

"... just start typing, be willing to mess up, and if you get lost just start over with better understanding from messing up. Eventually it'll work."

My CV is done.
I listened to some hints, removed some of the childish and selfish texts and I am in this place, do you have any tips?
Yes, I put those photos specially

Stackoverflow.

TL;DR: Don't ever interrupt me while taking a shit.

>be me taking a shit comfortably in the bathroom, not bothering anyone
>hear my cousin outside calling his gf
>nofsgiven.jpg
>suddenly stuff comes flying through the window and hear her gf laughing in his phone speaker
>stupid asshat was trying to make his gf laugh by bothering me while in the debug room
>scream from the top of my lungs for him to stop interrupting my defecation process
>stuff keeps coming from the window
>my brown creation comes back inside like a scared turtle
>pull up pantaloons
>get out of thinking room
>open up laptop, start ubuntu
>sudo apt-get install aircrack-ng
>enable monitor mode, get phone, ap mac addresses
>vim shittyvengeance.sh
>write small script that deauths his phone and then waits some seconds and then starts over again so he doesn't think it's me
>:wq and make script executable
>sleep 180; cowsay ding dong ur vengeance has arrived; sudo ./shittyvengeance.sh
>tuck into bed and close laptop before sleep time ends
>his call suddenly drops
>"Matt are you messing up with my WiFi again?"
>"Nah man. Not working for me either. Must be localcompany's problem."
>mfw he can't talk with his gf for more than 15 seconds before losing connection
>omgitworks.jpg
>figure that it was the most useful thing I had made in a pc in these two years at uni
>be proud of me for making a stupid script
>think about going back to my pearl white throne
>no longer wanting to drop my supplies
>go to sleep
>mfw forgot to wipe ass

My first story in devRant! Was lurking for quite a while and finally felt like sharing something 🙃

When you mention in your resume that you are an active contributor to Linux source code.

*Le me to coding.....

Just refactored 22 files into 2 files. God, that feels nice.

"Work for me", client said, "I won't pay you but you will get some reputations for working with us" he added.

"Sorry, my body can't digest reputation", I replied.

Got annoyed by hitting f11 instead of f12.
("step into" versus "go to definition").
Solved the problem :)

Actually finish a proj.... Oh I'm sorry I got distracted and started a new projec... Oh look a bird...

Had my first 'mentor' moment at work today!

Newest guy couldn't figure something out and asked me, slightly nervously, for help.

Suddenly I went into mentorish state, explaining stuff I was doing while fixing it in under a minute!

Felt good 😃