Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
That's the exact question that came to me 2 years back when I was also going to go to sleep early tonight
14 -
Me: I’ve been in the web since 2006, of course i know html,css,javascript.
Also me: Google how to center a div.28 -
Customer: ... and can you also disable right-click to prevent our website's content from being copied?
Me:
13 -
Nobody:
Senior frontend Dev at my company: "microservices best thing ever"
Also him: "Relational databases gonna die"
Also him (talking to the DB team): "You're gonna dissapear, Mongo is the future"
Me: "Eh... Dude, Mongo is still a database.."
Him: "Microservices"
Send help...27 -
Ex-Boss (62years old)- why do you wear a watch? Take it off.
Me (bewildered) - why? What happened?
Him - see I don't wear a watch also.
Come on, take it off.
Me - *took off my watch* now what?
Him - see. Now you can also look at the time using your mobile, like me. No need of watch. U should be modern.
Me- *WTF. Are u high or something, u fucking insane asshole? *
He was one weird piece of shit.21 -
Bob?
Yeah?
Bob, could you hand me that paperclip?
Sure mate!
Thanks.
Oh... Bob?
Uhhh... yeah?
Could you also hand me that paperclip?
Right... sure, of course.
Thanks.
Bob?
What?
Could you also hand me the next paperclip?
Fuck off, why don't I just give you the whole fucking box!
Yeah Bob, please, throw the whole fucking box.
Wait, is that a printed screenshot of my code you're attaching the paperclips to?
It sure is, Bob.
16 -
Wished sudo exists in real life also.
Me: Leave me alone.
Person: No.
Me: sudo Leave me alone.
Person: Sure.12 -
Client: Can you make a feature wherein users can blah blah blah blah blah
Client: and blah blah blah blah blah blah
Client: and also if possible blah blah blah blah
Me: okay.
Client: in 2 days?
Me: O_O10 -
Me: “I’m gonna rebuild this site from the ground up.”
Also me, 5 minutes into it: “Can’t figure out this stupid CSS thing I need to do. Gonna take a quick break.”
Also also me, looking at it 5 days later:
5 -
Is it just me or do others also think programmer jokes like "...converts caffeine and pizza into software" and similar to be fucking annoying?7
-
Not truly a coworker, but a train conductor on my commute sees me coding all the time and chats with me about how he is teaching himself (I am also self taught). He makes me feel like a rock star for doing what I do 😎4
-
drunk me: "let's just code a bit right before going to bed!"
*codes and then goes to bed*
sober me: "when and what did i do here?"
(...)
also sober me: "how the hell does this work?!"9 -
C : Hi, I will send you the minor fixes with new images soon. Can you update for me?
Me : Yes sure.
C : We would also like to launch the website tomorrow.
Me : Oh cool. Then I'll connect it to the live domain after the updates.
C : My boss also likes to press a button and launch the website....
Me : ... umm ...18 -
This dude has to be my best ever coworker !
Not only does he never disturb me, he also gives me amazing feedback during debugging 🐥
10 -
Manager: so how long will feature A take?
Me: about a week.
Manager: and feature B?
Me: also a week.
Manager: how about C?
Me: another week
Manager: great! then we can finish the project in a week!
THAT'S NOT HOW MATH WORKS9 -
Had a week off, when I came back, an email :
"Dodger, can you explain me why did you change this ? I asked X and he wasn't aware you changed it"
Me : *browse through mail and find a mail from late December from X asking me to do that exact change*
Also me :
4 -
Convincing my parents that I'm doing something useful on my computer and that it can also help me get a job5
-
Me: why do people hate javascript?
Also Me after 5 mins of js coding :
Oh right now i remember why8 -
Food.... It works every single day and also motivates me to goto the office.
My office is next to a mall.
7 -
Customer: "Why doesn't the user interface have a night mode?"
Me: It wasn't in the requirements, it also doesn't have bouncing pink elephants, do you want me to add those in as well?9 -
School: Do you want to learn programming?
Me: Yes.
School: Do you want to learn about operation systems and networks?
Me: Yeah, sounds cool.
School: Do you also want to learn basic electrophysics?
Me: But I will rarely need it if I become a SE.
School: Well too bad!8 -
Me: *Has 3 difficult exams to study for and hours of work*
Also me: I should try my hand at encryption in Python.7 -
Me: Listen dude, the code worked perfectly and all the test cases passed so I'm done here.
Also me: What is this? What the fuck is this? Why does this work? What witchcraft is this?
*Screams internally*1 -
My current company is moving to a no code platform.
Also me planning to moving into another company :)10 -
Me: quits social media because I think it's a waste of time and who the fuck cares about likes and stuff?
Also me: spends countless hours on devRant and would sell my butt for a couple of ++17 -
Me: wow in really starting to love arch Linux, feels good to be away from Ubuntu!
Ubuntu: Yo! 18.04 is here!
Also me:
2 -
HOD: Hey, Can you conduct web development workshop for Jr.'s?
Me: no issue, Can you share syllabus?
HOD: download from the internet.
Me: cool, So may also be trained them related to GitHub.
HOD: what is GitHub?
Me: -_- nothing its little thing, I will manage.5 -
Someone who noticed that I do programming as a hobby and therefore set harder work for me in class. He also encourages my side projects and at the moment is helping me build a native app for the school :)2
-
I was playing Science trivia with Google assistant. Looks like she didn't want me to get all 5 answers right.
Also, 0.62 != 0.62
9 -
me: yo, im kinda low on cash right now, i should save some money and not do any iot projects this month
also me: yo, look at those nfc chips, i got an idea1 -
Me searching for some random ideas.
Case 1
Me - I want to create something.
Friend - Can you hack into ... ?
Me - No, bye
Case 2
Me - I want to create something.
Bro - I also want to create one awesome project
Me - Ok, cool
Case 3
Me - I want to create something
Mom - Come, help me with preparation for dinner.
Me - *I have been trapped* Nice move3 -
Group projects in computer science usually go like this for me:
Me: Want to be in a Group?
Group member: sure
Me: okay, we can discuss the project and start coding some stuff tomorrow
Group member: I don't have a laptop, won't get one till two weeks
Me: -_-
Also me: fuck off -
Me : *is bad at coding in C, java, Scala, swift and basically every other language*
Also me : time to learn a new language !4 -
Me: "What a stupid piece of shit documentation and software, it does not work!!!!!!!"
Also me: "Oh, this typo made everything _not-work_"4 -
Person: How are you?
Me: *googles,,, 'how to respond to a how are you questions'*
Me to Me: What is happening to me???!! I need help!!!
Also Me: *Posts about it on devrant*12 -
Me: knows how to program a neural network
Also me: doesn't know how to use it
Again me: bad at math so doesn't know how to use the outputs of a neural network21 -
Client : hey why does your app minimize once I receive a call? Fix this ASAP! Also why does it show *that*? I have not turned anything on!
Me : Sorry, not possible (explains), you might want to contact Google (for the lolz). Also, the feature is shown by default, you can turn it off via Menu - Settings - Navigation - xxx.
Client : Can you make the incoming call popup smaller when using your app?
Me : Unfortunately no, that's not something I can do. Contact LG.
Client : I have been to Menu - Settings - Map - XXX and the feature is still shown, why does your software not work? Also *this and that* is not shown anymore!
Me : You turned off the wrong thing... *jumps out of the window* *contemplates life* *cries* *dies* -
So, taking an entry course for Java.
Also, you people have corrupted me... Now I have switched everything to dark-themes.12 -
Fuck College, Fuck C, Fuck the people that didnt help me with my C code and in fact made my problems worse and didn't fucking help me, Fuck the bastard that decided to give my the largest mountain of homework, fuck my inability to get shit done, fuck myself for not getting motivated to do anything. And also fuck Javascript cause its JavaScript.
Edit: IM ALSO FUCKING RETARDED41 -
me: "ugh frontend is so stupid, i wish i only did backend"
also me: "i should be working on backend, but i just added some dopeass icons to my website"2 -
Me : Never actually worked on Linux before.
Also me : Tries to create, host and maintain a LAMP server.17 -
me: "aye im a cool functional programmer, monads are useful, whats up loop using plebs'
also me: *passes input argument as terminating condition*1 -
Only site which helped me alot to get me started in advance git commands was : ohshitgit.com
It also helped me when i started contributing in open source
Check it out :)3 -
me: "hey look, something new and awesome I could use in my projects!" (WebAssembly in this case)
also me: "I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT I WOULD USE THIS FOR"3 -
Step 1: try a third party defragmentation tool as windows' one is shit
Step 2: go to sleep while shit is getting done
Step 3: ???
Step 4: prof- Wait what ? Fuuuuu
5 -
First day of job tomorrow.
Will be working on Angular 4, TS, JS, front end.
Wish me luck!
Also, Any advices?10 -
I JUST GOT AN OFFER. God has blessed me. I also found out I have cancer a couple weeks ago. What a confusing time this is lol.13
-
Me: "I should try to waste less money this month"
Also me: "I wonder what 1000 euro whiskey tastes like..."
(Please describe in comments, I don't actually have 1000 euros for whiskey.)11 -
Me: I have a meeting in 20 minutes, I should get out of bed.
Also me: Thank fuck nobody bothers with cameras in meetings coz I'm often in bed.23 -
Me: Right, time to sit down and write some code.
Also me: I think I need to try a new IDE to see if that makes me more productive.
Productivity tools are my own productivity anti-pattern...!3 -
Me: I want to be a developer so I can make useful software that will help people!
Also me: *spends days making a bot for discord that just posts memes*7 -
When someone asks me what is programming, I usually say:
— That's something like assembling Lego, but you also get paid for it.3 -
Me: "Hmmmm, why is my firefox acting erratically? What's wrong with scrolling?"
Also me: "Oh fuck, I've been pressing control with my hand resting on the keyboard"1 -
Me:
working on this personal project for a year with some progress every week..
Also me:
I got this new Idea for this new project!4 -
Me: Do you like the client?
Dude: Yeah! How did you make that?
Me: I... I...
Also me: SHIT I DON'T KNOW.4 -
Me: *Adding finishing touches on my project*
Also me: *Adding more small features to the project*
I want it to be done but I can’t stop thinking of quality of life features3 -
Co-worker: Why are you deleting this piece of code?
Me: It's deprecated and it can be made in a better way. Don't worry, I know what I'm doing
Also me: OH SHIT THE ENTIRE PROJECT IT'S RUINED4 -
Opened devRant while sitting in public transport.
Suddenly, the dude sitting next to me starts talking to me.
Nearly got a heart-attack because I thought he was going to say something about the devRant feed I was scrolling through or even reveal he was also on devRant. (Dude reminded me of some of the guys on the face reveal. Also, wild beard. XD)
Now somewhat disappointed but also relieved he wasn't a fellow devRanter. (I probably am a social being but when someone catches me off-guard I may react awkward.)3 -
Customer: We need an app to replace the Excel ( bunch of forms with messy macros and script)
Also Customer: Can I export the form fill it in an excel and import again.
Me: Sure, Definitely
Inner me: Where's Thanos9 -
WHILE DOING SOME PROCESS, SOMETHING HAPPENED THAT INTERRUPTED MY PROCESS AND HAD ME EXPRESS AN EMOTION OF ANGER! DO YOU ALSO EXPERIENCE INTERRUPTIONS THAT CAUSE ANGER, FELLOW HUMANS?10
-
Nobody:
Me going insane minutes before midnight: I made a OpenWRT LXC container
(It's also in images.linuxcontainers.org)
3 -
Incompetence of people around me drives me mad. I see a piece of shit code and I can’t stop myself from improving it.
Also better developers around me. I need to find out how they’re better and beat them6 -
Can someone please explain to me the purpose of developers wearing formal clothing ?? Some companies in my country also require ties and suits. Why ??10
-
You ever just get pissed at everything?
I find myself wanting to pick a fight about everything today. Little stupid things just setting me off. Just rage...
My head also a feels a bit fuzzy. Also tinnitus is fucking loud today.
Fuck off world!17 -
Started new job, its big jump for me in my career. Very much excited. People are also very helpful.4
-
Retro Gaming playlist by Spotify on Spotify is one of the best oldies playlists I found.
// Also remind me how old I am 😁5 -
Holy shit, it just hit me.
I'm an IT engineer who's irl also doing woodworking. And masonry.
Is this a dream life or what6 -
DXB (airport)'s WiFi doesn't let you call through whatsapp or telegram or even discord. It also does not let you send a whatsapp voice message, which has me very puzzled.
And all I wanted to do was to call my mom. ☹️
(I might also be running a slight fever, which makes me very emotional and sensitive)10 -
Upgraded my phone at the weekend. New phone turned up a day early, and Vodafone also sent me a surprise Google Home Hub4
-
Amazing client.
Want to add parallax effect to whole website (yes I also don't understand) after everything is done and final.
After they have moved up the launch date.
After they have asked me to also do the data entry not only the development.
After I specifically asked for ssh access, PHP7+ server and then they asked me to deploy it to their shared hosting through cpanel.
After ...
After ....
After .....11 -
It has sated my hunger for never-ending knowledge.
It allows me to freely express myself.
It has given me the goal to surpass all these people who are better than me.
Also unlimited anger that can end me up behind bars. -
In my wallowing experience as a freelancer I've noticed that almost all C/C++ clients are perfectionist. You just can't please them by getting the job done quickly.
I got a libcurl job from one the other day to scrape data from a target website and within an hour it was ready. I notified the client and he was both amazed and confused assuming it would take the whole week.
C++Client: The code works but you need to take your time.
Me: Sorry?
C++Client: Yes, it works but you used "string" instead of "wstring"
Me: 😊 Oh okay... *converts strings to wstring*
C++Client: And also variable names should be more descriptive.
Me: 😏 *int foobar => int very_long_descriptive_foobar_01*
C++Client: And also use "shorts" for page nums it'll save some bytes
Me: 😕 *int => short...*
C++Client: And also use forloops instead of whileloops
Me: ☹️ *whileloops => forloops*
C++Client: And also use -- instead of ++ in loops
Me: 😤 *for(... i++) => for(... i--)*
C++Client: And also...
C++Client: And also...
C++Client: And also...
C++Client: And also...
C++Client: And also...
C++Client: And also...
C++Client: And also...
===> Seven "and also" days later <===
Me: *completed 10 Java projects behind the scene*
C++Client: And also use pthread instead of thread
Me: 😧 It's day 7 already!
C++Client: Oh I see, great job. You can compile and send me the archived source.
Me: 🤩
C++Client: And also...
Me: 🏃💨11 -
Me: *makes todo list for things that need to be done today*
Also me: *wakes up late, eats breakfast, goes back to bed*1 -
me: oh im not really afraid of anything
*sees the blue screen of death*
also me: okay,, i guess i am afraid of something...3 -
Any interruption. Noise and questions are the worst.
Also my girlfriend, when I'm coding alone and writes me online. She gets mad at me if I don't respond.1 -
Me: We shouldn't change anything in the design if its not broken.
Also Me:
I regret being a designer
7 -
Me: Complains about lack of community and documentation for Groovy/Grails.
Also Me: Doesn't contribute to community or documentation for Groovy/Grails.1 -
❤️ Swift ❤️
A new minor version of the compiler has been released !
How sweet !
Which comes with the latest Xcode, which is of course mandatory to deploy on your devices !
How cool !
Let me also break all your code because I've decided to change some obscure programming paradigm, and also because FUCK YOU. -
Client: i want payment integration without using any of those 3rd party gateways like 2checkout.
Me: uhmmm, any reason you cant use those gateways?
Client: its more professional
...
they also take percentages on every transaction !
Me: ... *closes chat*4 -
Me: Hey maybe you could finish this game you're working on before starting a new one?
Also me: but this new one is so cool!
Me: you said that last time4 -
I'll just leave this here. RIP Firebug.
Not only you made me the front end developer I'm today, you also made me a man.3 -
My wife was done with exercises on her electronic 88 keys piano.
Me: I also know something nice.
Her: oh so?
Me: (repeatedly typing key #3)
Her: (thinking)
Her: C hacking?!5 -
Today I got corrected in the difference between to and too. Another dev told me I made a typo in the documentation where I tripple checked. Then he told me that "too"means "also" and is also used in things like "too much". In high school I got told by my teacher it was "to much".
I've been using the word "to" wrong for fourteen years now...8 -
Me: Boycotting Facebook lately due to shady business practices, is very outspoken about how people shouldn't use Facebook services
Also me: Literally uses React for every web app
... conflicted 🤔3 -
Friend who also works in tech industry, forwards me a video which explains how Google tracks is users via smartphones. Further calls me and explains it passionately. I'm like ..... wtf. Living under a rock or what🙄1
-
Me: I'm a hardcore dev lookin for trouble, can't flex on me, js on the streets and css in the sheets, watchoutttt
Also me: fuck how do I control F but like more
Also also me: I wonder how many ramen packets I'd have to eat to retire at 30 -
Hey! Heard you like scams.
Seriously, what even is this? I heard about this, but didn't think it would happen to me.
Also based on what they want to be doing with another person's computer can also double as a botnet too.
14 -
It's oddly comforting to see others on devRant also hammering away at some code on a Saturday afternoon. Makes me feel almost normal :)1
-
Broke down and asked the junior dev to help me hash out an issue. He's also struggling with it.
I'm not a retard after all... unless were both retards.1 -
Parents: You want anything for your birthday?
Me: yeah, can I have a newer PC
Parents: Cool
Me: Also, can I spend a majority of my time alone messing with it?
Parents: Sure
My parents were really laid back and basically let me do what I wanted -
Got a proper mechanical keyboard for work instead of that nasty third generation hand-me-down cramped layout crap they gave me. I also got a small plant for my desk. Fuckin fantastic.6
-
When imposter syndrome hits me, i just scroll through the latest CVEs. That reminds me, that even the best can't do it properly.
I also am old enough to have seen the latest shit emerge and disappear multiple times. So there is no pressure to keep up with latest crap of the week.
Also, our industry is full of sloppy corner cutters. So that i am not sloppy and don't like to cut corners, already makes me a rare kind of coder.
Know your strengths!5 -
Put all Code into one Controller and the middlewares are a mess.
Who did it? Yeah, me.
But who fixed it? Also me.6 -
Me: **Visits website with lots of ads
also Me : ** right clicks on element
** opens chrome inspector
** finds ad element
** deletes element
#LifeHacks4 -
Found this girl who also loves coding like me..... She's very studious... Have been doing projects with her inorder to spent time with her...Like for 3 years now....
But I don't understand what our relationship status is.....I tried asking her out..she just changes the topic every fuckin time... Like she also tend to spend time with me but doing technical stuff only....
I'm totally debugger zonez19 -
Me: "can you please send my credentials for the database?"
Hosting provider: "Yea sure... We will set it up on our servers in no time"
*5 mins later: provider sends mail to me*
Me: *looks at mail*
Also me: *NOTHING TO DO HERE*
Congrats to jweiland.net for not being able to support their customers.
2 -
When a gamer is also a developer:
Idiot: What kind of game is that? I only has a crap load of words!
Me: Yeah, it's called Android Studio2 -
Is it just me or does it also bother anyone else when manufacturers pull shit like this (using Apple as example but I've also seen it from Google/Samsung).
9 -
Got my unix stickers today 🤓
Thanks to @gitlog for telling me about this and also to the person who posted it here for the first time
7 -
Customer Service: “I apologize for the delay in entering your warranty info. My system is a bit slow.”
Me: “That’s ok.”
Also me: *What is this, 1986?! Upgrade from DOS already!!*2 -
A relative told me that if I were actually smart I would be getting other people do development work for me.
He is also very wealthy. Clearly wealthy off the backs of dumb people.6 -
Finally I was able to look into css grids in more detail and gotta say it's impressive, also "grid-template-areas" made me chuckle for a bit, at how unusual and easy you can define layouts (even compatible with media queries!), which are also heavily obvious and readable, reminds me of the old games where characters were just symbols.1
-
Me : Yeah dude, totally. I support Right To Privacy.
Also Me : To get OTP filled automatically, i need to ask Recieve Sms Permission from user. Also to send them, too.
😂😂😂😂8 -
Me chatting with a bandmate who is also a developer:
Me: do you have any experience in Db?
Him: Dropbox? Databases?
Me: Sorry enharmonic confusion. I meant C#
P.S. yes, sometimes I find my comments so funny that I make new joke posts about them.2 -
when I was an undercover informing on child traffickers I was also posing as a street guy, and didn't sleep for 72 hours because some local drug dealers made me think they were waiting for me to conk out so they could rob/beat/kill me.
Does this count ?8 -
My last boss insisted on using tables instead of divs and then asked me to make it responsive (every damn time). Also, functions that were over 10k of lines.4
-
6 Months later...
Me: Oh God! This code is horrible! Who wrote this crap?
Also Me: Shit, it was me.1 -
Me: figuring out APT-69420 (hacker group) representative is a girl.
Also me: Woohoo! You go girl!
Also me: ... Wait, am I being sexist?
😐 idek anymore...
Anyways, them camera footages they released tho...17 -
me: Today will be a productive code efficient day
also me: what is diz devRant
then me: man this is lit
*fml*8 -
Is it just me or do any of you people also hate asking for help with understanding other devs code?
At the same time I also hate explaining my code to other devs, like I have to justify I'm not an imbecile.6 -
My deares coding buddy is a Toriel plushie, shes just sitting there silently, not judging me i love her.
Also i fucking hate c++ please end the pain.8 -
i feel like everything around me is catching fire, so I'm trying to put it out while also keeping a customer service smile and dealing with people5
-
fuck u aws
all that money and u can't read idiot proof documentation for me to have SQS connect to a VPC endpoint to read a message
also fuck u search algorithms for not handing me an easy bake solution to what is a not a novel situation
also fuck me for being unable to git gud5 -
my current boss i think. he's really good at office politics and he's very willing to help me navigate some tricky social interactions. he's also got very solid feedback1
-
Is it just me or is the Audio driver for Antergos WAAAY better than the one on Windows? Big diffrence for me at least.
Also, huge thanks to whoever made devRantron available on AUR.11 -
Lua, tables ("arrays") start at 1.
It also has no sleep function and its defacto package manager (luarocks) has almost never worked for me without some serious fuckery7 -
How to make me not want to
ever contribute to you:
'Please read and sign this CLA'
( Also telling me that shit only whenI try
opening a PR, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU )5 -
Me: "Alright, I've been on 'top', 'algo' and 'recent', I'm going to check twitter or 9gag now"
Also me: "I wonder what's up on DevRant" -
Me: I wanna learn Go by writing a side project that might get me a few stars on Github.
Also me: But I don't have any original ideas. Would be nice if I could just take advantage of some other project's popularity.
End result => https://github.com/palash25/...4 -
My last manager apprently was letting me go, bcoz I wanted a job which involved development, he said to me "why do you have aspire to develop???"
Frm now your aspirations will also be controlled.
P.S Resigned the next day -
Other than the obligatory “Hello World”, what was the first program you had ever written, Personally and also Professionally?
For me...
PERSONALLY: Fibonacci Calculator.
PROFESSIONALLY: Menu System.7 -
Sometimes I look at my co-worker's code and want to vomit. My poor eyes. Also loves to tell me something should work and hasn't tested it...2
-
Me: I will not care about others anymore.
Also me: Converting print screen to JPG, removing EXIF data and compressing it in TinyPNG before sending to friends.2 -
Me: I need to build my APK and upload it so I can show my friends when I meet them at the mall in a few days
Also me: *writing this rant* -
me giving advice to beginners: don't feel bad about your code. as long as it gets the job done, it's good
also me: don't look at my code. it's terrible!10 -
Me: Let's try to implement this in js...
Also me: npm install webpack webpack-cli typescript --save-dev1 -
Me: I'm quite good at C programming language
Also me: Checks man page for library functions' information6 -
Code like this makes me shed a tear in nostalgia... also I want to murder somebody for still putting that in tutorials
5 -
When a lovely gentleman from across the sea calls me and says
"hello I am from the computer department, there seems to be a problem with your pc"
me:"what department is that again?"
Him:"The computer department"
me:"Could you also tell me what that loud samba music is in the background?"2 -
I'm re-applying to the same internship that ghosted me like 6 months ago, wish me luck!
I'll also take the chance to wish you luck and success with whatever you're working on and what you will work on2 -
Me: aah finally the best in the morning MY COFFEE
Also me a half hour later: Uhm fuck my coffee is cold.1 -
Are vi/vim users vegans of dev community? Can we also add emacs users to the list? Bunch of degenerates if you ask me... 🤗37
-
I've wrote the shittiest Assingenment ever. My college gave me 92%. I can't believe that they actually read it. I'm angry and also exited :D1
-
Work: work late till 1 am
Also work: come in at 7 am
Me: zzzzzzz
Also work again: why arn't you getting anything done2 -
My bank created a "new and improved" banking app asking me to take a selfie after first sending them a picture of my id.
I am already a customer of the bank, they have a copy of my id, why do they also want a selfie?
Also with the old banking app I could just call them from my phone number (which they also have) and they confirmed it was me over the phone by asking 2 questions and then provided me with a code to just enable the app on my personal phone.10 -
Feelin' not prepared but also prepared for code samples and tech interviews. Can companies just believe that we are capable of building awesome shit & hire us?! You feel me?2
-
When a shady recruiter who had tried to poach me from my company, when also contracted as a recruiter for said company.
-
Actually getting started and learning to plan for a project is also important. Making a portfolio-website for myself with basic web tech and Firebase. Wish me luck! :D2
-
Me: Interview is in 3 hours, I'm prepared, it's non technical anyway, just be yourself.
Brain to me: What the fuck is big 'O' notation? Objects you mean chairs? Turing? That's some kind of robot right?
Also me: fuck....1 -
Is it me or you also feel guilty for handing over the shitty code that does the job and try to make it better before handing over?
-
Once I used edge / internet explorer, Guess for what??
Maybe you've also did same like me.🤔
To download Chrome and Firefox.5 -
Should I learn Haskell? Would it help me with other coding languages as well?
My main language is JavaScript, also I would like to learn functional programming.2 -
Me :
I will use .Trim() before ToLower(), so ToLower has potentially less characters to iterate over.
Also me :
What ? Only 5.000 rows ? Let’s load them all ! It’s faster then use “where” and “group by”. No problems !1 -
Is it only me or you also feel a bit more powerful when all your devices are fully charged (nearly) and internet works smooth? 🤔5
-
Me: I should divide my project in small parts. It will be a piece of cake.
Also me: (on last day of submission) 76 commits in 34 minutes.
*Face Palm* 🤦♂️1 -
When people mail me asking something i think is stupid question i reply with this pic,
(It is also my profile picture on Linq now) :(
-
My last job in Australia before moving to Japan was where I had my best boss. He was pretty chill about a lot of things and he was also a pilot and DJ in his free time. But he was also the no BS type of guy and would help resolve issues in a quick manner.
Also before moving to Japan, I did consult him about it and he was very supportive about it and encouraged me to do the move as it'd be a good experience for me.2 -
Me: *creates new Vue.js project in IntelliJ IDEA*
Also me: *waits for 2 hours*
IntelliJ IDEA:
PS: Also could someone please comment with Vue Land Discord invite link/code that's not expired?
3 -
OK so encrypted my system drive during install. So far so cool. It also prompts me to enter the password before loading the OS. However if I misstype it it kicks me in grub rescue mode instead of asking me to reenter it. Wtf D: Can I change this?6
-
I am a frontend dev but please don’t trust me 100% with responsive, works in every browser, animation heavy, top of the line, UIs.
Also I don’t know how to work with Wordpress.
Also don’t ask me questions about Webpack, Node, or anything related to builds/configs. (I will be happy to google search my answers for you tho)
But I am a frontend dev.5 -
I'm always learning. That way it becomes funny to me. And also coffee. So fucking much coffee. Alcohol helps a lot too.
-
Trying to un-fuck a botched rebase of a months worth of work. It took me a couple days, but it forced me to learn a lot about git's best practises and gotchas. It also taught me not to keep a months worth of work on a single branch!4
-
Me: After i learn objective-c i'll be a ninja!
Next day....
Friend: ....you will also need a graph database for your app. Cypher is easy to learn...
Me: ...ohhh cypher you say1 -
This idiot client wanted me to code within a laravel app. He wanted me to use laravels translation helpers. He also wanted me to put every piece of code into a php file in the public directory and I must not change any of Laravels framework files...
I denied.3 -
After thorough considerations I came to the conclusion:
RFC3339 is better than ISO8601
Also working with time and dates in C++ is making my head hurt please help me12 -
Me: *opens YouTube to catch up on WMC but see's 40 videos on the S9 and nothing else*
Also me: *closes YouTube and hopes for some actuall news tomorrow*2 -
I forgot to setup my alarm, but it's fine, because fof some reason I just woke up exactly the when my alarm goes off normally.
Also fuck nighttime me2 -
What skills? 😂 Jokes aside, a few situations cause me to question myself, one is reading rants on devRant.
I always start questioning myself when I see others code, it inspires me but sometimes also makes me question my ability.
Last thing that often makes me question myself is reviewing all these requirements for jobs. -
Me running DarkReader: Some Russian dude can probably sniff all my passwords.
Me also running DarkReader: But, light theme websites or really any light theme content is an abomination against the dark lord Satan.
Thoughts?3 -
Me: *newly learning MySQL*
Also me: time to buy wedding rings for my pinky finger and the caps lock key16 -
Me: LOL Docker Desktop asking to update all the time! I'm fine.
-moments later after a reboot-
Also Me: Why is docker always starting up so wonky these days ....
Probably should update I guess ;) -
Am i just nuts or is server config at 3am with sushi awesome for people that arent me?
This app also sucks with pics... any tips on that?
13 -
interviewer: “i see you have taken some machine learning courses”
me: “yep”
also me: *googles the normal equations*1 -
sorry for lowering the tone, this did make me chuckle. later on the email he also used the phrase 'hit the ground running' and 'touch base'.....eww.
3 -
Me: I need a new website. Let's make it with NodeJS / AdonisJS so I get a grip on that tech.
Also me: mmh, how about I use it as an API so that I can plug some other things in it?
Also me: successfully develop a headless CMS based on an API, with AdonisJS. Not perfect, but runs like a charm. -
Which one of these is your dream university?
Also let me know which one of these is good for pursuing Ms in EE consider CMU and UIUC as well
17 -
Fuck DS-Lite with a rusty rod covered in sand. Also fuck 4to6tunnel.
Boy I really need to take a networking class, this is driving me nuts -
Is it just me or do you guys also bob your head back and forth in sync with the devRant logo when it takes too long to load?
-
Who found out the hard way he is now very intolerant to OTC allergy meds? Me.
Who also terribly suffers from seasonal allergy? Yep. Me.
It's going to be a long summer, coding with migraines, sinusitis, and irritated eyes 😞4 -
(If anyone remember) A lot of mine two months old rants were related to one of my client who also happened to be my relative. Now this client's uncle (who is also a relative) sent a message to me and asked me if I can put one of his nephew in my company. He assured me he's a good programmer.
Are you fucking kidding me? Just like that? If he was any good, he would have got a job or at least would have done anything by himself.
P.S. When I looked at his CV, he knew almost all languages :-/3 -
My manager sent me a Desktop screen without informing me and I also didn't ask for the same. Now, he wants me to use it. And i am like, WTF 😡😡. Who the fuck told you in ur dreams to send me this shit.8
-
me: getting really sick on the last day of vacation
also me: at 4am my brain is wake af trying to solve my programming problems.
bad timing brain! -
Me: I wish I had more time to work on my own personal projects
Also me: *takes on 2 new clients this week alone*
I do this to myself 🙃 -
Please Santa, fix all my bugs for Christmas!
(i know it's a lot, i'm also happy if you help me with a half) -
Finally an error I can understand with ease. Up until now, I’ve been getting these weird arbitrary errors that make no sense to me.
I tried to wake my MacBook and the thing hung. I have it some time, and it restarted, restored all windows, and let me know it was a “Sleep Wake Failure”.
Honestly I don’t mind getting an error occasionally. But when the error says “UNEXPECTED_KERNEL_MODE_TRAP” while I’m gaming on Windows, it annoys me.
Also having WebKit crash the webpage on me without telling me what happened also gets me mad.
TL;DR: Make understandable error messages.2 -
They know it has something to do with creating and modifying software. That is enough for them and so I am seldom bothered with requests for detailed information.
Also, most often, me working on hobby projects, or just viewing tutorial videos at home is looked upon as "Wasting time playing games".
Then there is also the perception of me being the family's in-house tech support guy. -
Its taken for granted in most projects but for me its definitely git, I especially like Gitlab's approach.
Also a rubber duck. -
I'd say a car mechanic, since I'm a petrolhead. But this also will be eventually replaced by robots and AI, so no job for me...
-
Me: Yay! I’m getting more clients which means more income which means my accountant won’t look at me funny anymore when I say I’m still running a business and not a hobby! Go me!
Also me: I need $1400 worth of project management software subscription for 2 years (to get a discount) so I can manage the Agile workload among the developers and writers. I also need to recover $700 of accidental ad spend for that stupid Yelp account I forgot I had a “free trial” on. Guess I’m still running a hobby for a bit.1 -
Dear fish (shell for anyone who doesn't know) ,
why the hell do you also color non errors red. Just gave me a damn heart atrack -
My mind is not stable.
Office work requires - Linux Internals (knowledge on kernel, Device Drivers, Yocto etc) & Networking ( security ) -> CR on C/C++
Office work also requires - Python for tool development
My personal project requires - NodeJs, React
And I also want to appear for Interviews so also require DS & Algorithm
I hope you don't judge me3 -
I don’t really think this makes me a better dev, but playing guitar and watching tv shows helps me relieve some stress. Also, spending time with my fiancée. If anything, my job made me a worse dev, which is sad and ironic.
-
Just got myself into Slack
My laptop is trying to handle the desktop app when im also working ... well ..
Sometimes the whole laptop stops responding
Is it just me?5 -
Is it just me, or do other developers also leave a backdoor in the code in case the client doesn't pay?8
-
Me: *updates ram to 16 gigs
Me: How do you feel about that chrome?
Chrome: Hold my beer ...
Also, anyone face any issues with laggy vs code and hyper?28 -
Dear devRant, "Remember Me" means, keep me logged in for longer than the lifetime of this tab. Or is that checkbox decorative?
(Yes, I also use the app)2 -
Made me think and treat other people like disposable objects.
I also try to send as few packets to them as a result, u kno', to keeping the noise down.
Nah, just kidding.
But it has given me a solid foundation and framework for understanding for understanding so much in life..
Programming have also granted me something I continue enjoying and that I don't grow bored of quickly...
Particularly object oriented and event driven development have given me a pretty good ground to support me, on my personal endeavors onto noeroscience and understanding of the human mind..
Just for fun and curiosity tho :) -
I'm a gadget freak who also wants to start living the life of a minimalist and zerowaste lifestyle. Eff me right?
-
Is it just me or someone else also remembers the "Download MP3" feature in YouTube a few years ago? Was it a failed experiment?7
-
I love it when there is a win and everybody is hyped, bit then there are people like me that also remember the losses of the past 🤭
-
The owner of a github repo has added me as a contributor but haven't given me write access, so i can't push commits.
When i asked him, he said i have to make PR. The fork button is also disabled. So i guess i can't make a PR also.
Now WTF i am suppossed to do now?
No write access, fork disabled . Still i have to push my commits ....ughhhh2 -
Me: *watches programming video on Y-Combinator*
Also Me: "why the heck are they talking about recursion and not funding startups?"2 -
me: When is it okay for you to scream out "RARRR!😡" in public?
also me: When your privates get caught up in your ZIP.
me: ohhhhh. Okay. -
Me: "I have a hobby project idea on how to provide a vendor-free solution to this... and the domain is also straightforward."
Me after one year: "man, finally it is in the MVP state... that escalated slowly..."
> Also, me who couldn't resist to create a hobby project for the sake of the previous hobby project...1 -
These fucking deepshet, spoiled retards
they expert me to build software not from the ground but from the fucking foundation up to release date all by myself
they also expert me to do all required research
also expert me to do the fucking marketing
they expert me to bring new fucking business
They expert me to work at High performance
They expert me to do stock inventory as well
They fucking sit me in shity meetings
WHAT THA FUCK IS THIS SHIT -
Because I got paid to do stuff I was already doing for free...
And because business school didn't get me a "guaranteed" high paying job 10yrs also. -
Me: *applying for software dev roles or product roles*
Also me: *applying for masters in swe or mba*
Also also me: *gets hired as a multimedia dev intern for pissmoney*1 -
So... I'm assigned to do a new development, something related to integrate a Call Center service to our main app.
I have not a single clue on how to begin, at what to look, what doc to read (the service doesn't offer a good one), just trying thing and hope for some luck.
This sound familiar to you also or it's just me?
These moments make me think twice if my knowledge can handle and this scares me!
Also, it's kinda urgent and very important so... no stress!2 -
Anyone have something to share about working in Amsterdam?
Thinking of migrating there - I'm an Android developer.
Any company names you can throw at me are also appreciated!! :)4 -
Is it just me, or have you also had your teammates getting less responsive once you're on your notice period?4
-
Is it just me, or does it sound like some people's accents say: "hatechtml." Those people probably also say "Jaah vuh script." Kinda funny....1
-
I've got a 9 hour drive in front of me. And I'm not driving. I've also got two fully charged laptops. What should I program?11
-
!rant
I've worked with both but help me understand when it'd be advantageous to use Django vs Node.js for a project. Also should I really learn PHP or Ruby ?3 -
Burr puzzles, I love the way they challenge me, they also improve focus and helps with attention to detail. Great tool for ADHD.
-
See GitHub gets it
There’s something fucked about time right now
Also send me your wives unless they’re land whales or even sea cows
2 -
Is it just me or anybody else also feels like that DevRant will become like a social credit from Black Mirror ?3
-
Me: * Not having fun writing hundreds of tests/assertions for an API *
Also me: * Submitting changes without running my tests *
Production: * BROKEN *
RUN YOUR EFFING TESTS EVEN IF THE CHANGES ARE SMALL OR STRAIGHTFORWARD OR SIMPLE OR WHATEVER -
Anyone here recently graduated from a Master’s degree in AI that could give me pros and cons? Also, how is the job market for it right now?3
-
Couple of new colleages started last year.
Working with the new Full stack dev: Your WP site is slow? Try this new shiny CMS and just start all over!
Working with the new designer:
Can you send me the assets? Can you send me the assets? Can you also send me asset A? Can you also send me asset B?
Working with the new project manager:
So is it correct that i’m planned in for five projects today?! -
Now to figure out how the fuck JASM works so i can rewrite a routine in someone else's APK in Python. Also how the fuck does ECDSA work? Also what format is this fucking cert it's applying in?
kill me -
Newbie question
Any good free resources for full stack web development. Also if a resource teaches mainly frontend but also teaches some backend it is a full stack web development resource in my eyes. I was looking at freecodecamp but it is a bit too vast for me. I am also looking at the cokplete intro to web development v2 course by Brian holt for free on frontend masters but it is 2 years old and has not been updated. Also it does not teach that much bakcend hust node and express.
Also another question is frontend masters good for web development. I did not find many threads about it. I got a discount for it which gives me a one year subscription for 195 dollars18
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View