Details
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AboutI mostly lurk around here 👀
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SkillsJava, Kotlin, JavaScript & Angular
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LocationSwitzerland
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Github
Joined devRant on 10/7/2016
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When you're trying to optimize a process and a team members gets upset because "that's not the way we've done it before!"
No fuck. That's why we are fucking improving it.1 -
I know someone from Uni who used a green text on red background IDE to make sure the colourblind person sat next to him couldn't copy his code...11
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Whenever I come across some acronyms...
CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
SCSI: System Can’t See It
MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
DOS: Defunct Operating System
WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too
PnP: Plug and Pray
APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
IBM: I Blame Microsoft
MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
LISP: Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses
MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs10 -
A tcp packet walks in to a bar and says “I want a beer”, barman says “you want a beer?” and tcp packet says “yes, a beer” .
In high society, TCP is more welcome than UDP. At least it knows a proper handshake.
A bunch of TCP packets go into a bar, until it’s overcrowded. The next day, half as many go in.
A bunch of TCP packets walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Hang on just a second, I need to close the window.”
When I try to send SYNs to chicks, I don’t get any ACKs. Just FINs and RSTs.
IP packet with TTL=1 arrives at bar. Bartender: “Sorry, can’t let you leave…and you don’t get any beer either…”
The worst part about token ring jokes is that if someone starts telling one while you are telling yours, all joking stops.
The great thing about TCP jokes is that you always get them.
The problem with TCP jokes is that people keep retelling them slower until you get them.
I would tell some UDP jokes too but I never know if anyone gets them
The best thing about UDP jokes is that I don’t care if you get them or not.
I had a funny UDP joke to tell, but I lost it somewhere...
The sad thing about IPv6 jokes is that almost no one understands them and no one is using them yet.
I tried to come up with an IPv4 joke, but the good ones were all already exhausted.
A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender says: “here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!
DHCP jokes only work when there is only one person telling them
The worst part of SSH jokes is that, even when they're not funny, you suck it up and just pretend they were anyway.
The problem with token ring jokes is you need to wait your turn to laugh
I’d make a joke about UDP, but I don’t know if anyone’s actually listening…11 -
!rant
I had this idea about national flags on the avatar. (Something like an item on the desk) then @letmecode suggested notebook stickers.
What you devRanters think?20 -
UPDATE: devRant Trans-Oceanic Journey Community Project
It was a mere 12 days ago that I asked the question; 'Could devRanters, as a community, build a 21st Century Technology-Laden ‘devRant devie-Stressball-in-a-Bottle’ and send it on a journey across the Atlantic ocean?
I am thrilled to report that devRanters enthusiastically accepted this difficult challenge. A core team quickly formed and a tremendous amount of research and progress has been made in a short period of time. I want to give you a high level-flavor of what we are doing. Please keep in mind we still need your help. We welcome all develops to take part in this journey.
I want to give appreciation to the devRant Founders @dfox and @trogus. Without your support and sponsorship this project would not have been possible. devRant brought us together and it a reality. Devie journeying across the Ocean the Columbus sailed will stir the imagination of children and adults worldwide when we launch on May 1, 2017.
Some of the research and action items in progress:
- Slack and trello environments were created to capture research and foster discussion.
- A Stony Brook University Oceanography Professor suggested the Gulf Stream would be a good pathway across the ocean. We researched it very and agree. The Gulf Stream has been a trans-Atlantic conduit for hundreds of years. We are deciding whether to launch from Cape Hatteras, NC or the Virginia coast. Both have easy access to the rapid currents in the Gulf Stream.
- We are researching every detail of the Gulf Stream to make the journey easier and faster for devie. We have maps and a team member gathered valuable ideas reading a thorough book – ‘The Gulf Stream’.
- We decided on using a highly resilient plastic rather than glass for the bottle material. Plastic is much lighter, faster and glass breaks down more easily. The lightweight enclosure will allow us to take full advantage of waves and ample trade winds. We are still discussing the final design as we want to minimize friction and mimic the non-locomotion fish that migrate thousands of miles riding the Gulf Stream.
-The enclosure might be 3D printed unless we can locate a commercial solution. We have 3D specs and are speaking with some experts. There are advantages and dis-advantages to each solution.
- We will be using Iridiums' RockBLOCK two-way satellite technology to bounce lat-long coordinate pings off their 36 low-orbit satellites. The data will be analyzed by our devRant devie analysis software. IOS and Android public apps being built by the team will display devie's location throughout the journey in.
- Arduino will be used as the brains
- Multiple sensors including temperature and depth are being considered
-A project plan will be published to the team Friday 12/9. Sorry I am a few days late but adding some new ideas.
There are still a lot of challenges we must overcome and we will.
That’s all for now. I will send updates and all ideas / comments are valued.6 -
So reviewing another companies framework, colleague came across a 'banging tween' but didn't know what it was so googled turns out a tween is a person aged 9-14, he is now likely on many police watch lists. But he asks a couple of us on a Skype chat, one guy simply copies and pastes the definition of banging, I see his source says buffet is a synonym for 'bang' so I comment without thinking much:
"Would you like a bang? I certainly wouldn't use that sentence for would you like a buffet". Then I see the CTO typing I forgot he was in the chat and start to sweat oh s£#@ what have I done well I'm a gonna.
CTO: "'Me and my wife like a bang in the kitchen' seems alright to me". - made my day. -
I have a confession to make.
I do most of my java coding in comic sans ;-;
IT MAKES ME HAPPY FOR SOME REASON26 -
Brush up on your unix skills while supporting charity and O'Reilly media: there's a Unix book humble bundle! Will not be equally interesting for all, but worth a look.
https://humblebundle.com/books/...2 -
Me: Hi, how can i help you today?
User: Sorry, i can't upload a picture for my profile. It shows a popup saying that i already uploaded it.
Me: it's because you uploaded.
User: Awesome man, thanks.4 -
Today I learned: typing "man ascii" into the terminal on Linux will print out the ascii table.
Guess I don't need to go online to find it anymore9 -
If you're wondering why your Mac is slow as sh*t, be advised that it's playing Chess during it's free time.5