Dear children let's talk about how to ask a f***ing question.

You don't just go "I need help. I can't figure it out." We had trainings on this, I sat through 3 hours holding your hand to help you try and understand things.

And yet now we have scheduled another 3 hours to help you figure this out because you said you were having difficulty with it because you couldn't figure it out. How about instead of just saying you "Need help", you start by
1. Explaining what you are trying to accomplish
2. What specific issue are you facing? Is there an error message or something?
3. What have you already tried thus far that didn't work?

Instead of "I NEED HELP I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT!" that is the sign of a lazy f****ing engineer, someone who doesn't want to think, who doesn't want to learn something new who wants to just coast by. Especially when this is going to become an increasingly important part of your job.

And of course you currently are still a whole job level above me because sitting around and keeping a chair warm for 10 years means you are a valuable contributor, instead of what you can actually DO!

This bugs me so much. So remember kids, when you need help, or need to ask a question, ASK IT THE RIGHT F****ING WAY!

Ahhhhh devrant... long time no see.

I just need to get something off my heart. The past two years, I worked for the same ISP in Germany, but now as a devops engineer. Well, popo hit the fan really quick lately..

First a good friend, team lead for one of five areas in Germany, quit his job. He was one of the nicest persons I knew, and he believed that all that five areas should work together and share dev resources. Thats why I work mostly in other areas as developer.

Shortly after, his deputy quit as well. I heard that this specific area, the management were a bunch of dicks, but wow!

A short while later, I learnd the hard truth, why those two good friends quit, and that brings me to this story. In a meeting I readied myself up to present my new plattform - a social room - to management. I got a lot of positive feedback from others and we thaught managment would approve of the project. But nope. "We can buy from external, we dont need to program ourselfs. In fact lets stop spending money on internal programming, we should outsource everything!"

I was baffeld... Wtf did i just witness? My team lead didn't say anything, and afterwards I didn't dare to question it, but I told most of my close dev friends and we all realizied, that the rumors were true... We will be shifting into project managment.

At this point, I realized that I wasnt having it, and made a linkedIn account, not because I wanted to switch jobs, but because, meh you never know.

One week ago, one of my bestest buddies said he will quit and join his team lead that left eariler this year, I was heartbroken. Me and our other buddy are devestated, because now we have to do everything he had done. Management didn't listen as we told them that nobody can maintain his code. I have so many projects, I can bearly keep up with them. Now I got a lead role for creating the server infrastucture for a huge project my buddy was working on. Only as specialist and not PM, but his Team Lead thinks I am replacing him!

Last week I got a message on LinkedIn, a consulting firm reached out to me to aquire me as a new consultant or devops engineer. They look great, only less vacation (26 instead of 30 days), 40h shifts instead of 38h and only slightly more base payment. I currently receive about 53.000€ a year, the new firm only grants up to 60.000€ a year for anyone. Otherwise, they look great.

With all my buddies quitting around me, work getting more while time developing decreasing, I don't know what the right thing to do is... There is no way I can get a payment increase in my current position. I always say "my workplace is save, but my work isnt". I don't want to do project managment.

Today I have a meeting with my team lead, she is really nice btw. This is an annual meeting where we discuss my future in the company etc. Shortly after, I have a meeting with the new firm to discuss a bunch of questions I have.

I dont know what to do...

Edit: I missed you, devrant

I applied to Amazon recently not really thinking about it I was just bored. Dropped my CV and I was asked to fill in why would I want to work in that position. I un-ironically put “It sounds like a lot of fun”, got rejected instantly then got an unrelated message from an Amazon recruiter from another division inviting me to apply, rejected it because it didn’t sound as fun.

I’m an honest bloke I just want to have fun.

So yesterday one of the "senior" python developers woke me up at 1 am (we work in different time zones, and he knows how many hours I'm ahead) asking why isn't his code working. The error message was:

[ERROR] Runtime.ImportModuleError: Unable to import module 'app': xxx is not installed, run `pip install xxx` Traceback (most recent call last)

I am at lose of words and patience. Not only idiots who can't google simple stuff are seniors, additionaly we went from "DevOps is a culture" straight to "hey I'm developer in my silo, if it doesn't work on my machine it's DevOps problem, plz fix".

My output of 5 hours of work: changing a 'b' to a 'B'.

5 hours working out what the stupid cryptic error message means and reading documentation, 5 minutes to change and test the difference.

So one year ago I was working at this company from the US, me being in Europe, which automatically implies there is several hours of timezone difference.

The eng. manager decided we would have a release tomorrow (decision was made one month earlier), and stuff was being prepped up to make that happen.

In the US the workday was about lunch time and in EU it was one hour before finishing. The manager gets us in a meeting and asks me and another dude to do some testing that would take several hours to do. This testing could have been done several days or weeks earlier.

40 minutes after that meeting I get a private message from the PM asking for the status of the test...

Me: aaa.. well I started it and will continue tomorrow

Manager: wait what? we have launch tomorrow, this testing has to be done by tomorrow

Me: it's the end of the workday here, I got personal errands that I have to attend to

Manager: uhm ok ... I see...

I was just messaging something in the public chat right before calling it a day and the manager writes "thanks for the input, your day is over now", completely out of context to the conversation I was having with whomever.

There was no question of "can you stay extra hours and do this?", there was no "hey, I know your day is over we will pay you premium hours with this amount as according to our contract, could you do this now as we have release tomorrow?" ..no ..just .. "do it!". I automatically assumed that ..hey, maybe he wants to do this during and after the live launch (and yes I do admit my mistake of not asking just to be clear, but I assumed the manager knows that there is a timezone difference ..like it's a no brainer).

I can not tell you the heat sensation I had after that last reply from the manager ... it was completely uncalled for, and unreasonable.

I mean why not make a pre-launch phase where you put stuff on the staging server, and perform all the necessary tests and then when you get all the green lights from testing you then proceed with the actual deploy? ...no ... mention this like right at the end of the day before the launch....

And another thing that scratched my neuronal cortex is, how does he know exactly how long the tests would take?

Udemy courses are targeted at ABSOLUTE beginners. It's excruciating to pull through and finish the course "just because". And some of these courses are jam-packed with 30-60 hours just for them to appear legit, but the reality is the value you get could be packed to 3-5 hours.

You're better off just searching for or watching for the things that you need on Google or YouTube.

You'll learn more when building the actual stuff. Yes, it's good to go for the documentation. Just scratch the "Getting Started" section and then start building what you want to build already. Don't read the entire documentation from cover to cover for the sake of reading it. You won't retain everything anyway. Use it as a reference. You'll gain wisdom through tons of real-world experience. You will pick things up along the way.

Don't watch those tutorials with non-native English speakers or those with a bad accent as well. Native speakers explain things really well and deliver the message with clarity because they do what they do best: It's their language.

Trust me, I got caught up in this inefficient style a handful of times. Don't waste your time.

People who message “I’m getting a error” without any context or even better the actual error message, no one else can see your screen and we can’t magic a fix, and we’re not f***ing psychic, tell us what the f***ing error is. Or better yet, figure it f***ing out like the rest of us, you also have google - go nuts

Hipsters be like: i aM iN cOnTrOl oF mY oWn LiFe

And then proceed to give away their Calendly link.

Fucking hilarious. They fail to realise that time is the most important entity anyone can have. And they give it away to strangers to control their time.

Imagine, giving access and control of your most important entity of your life to some random stranger on internet.

I coincidently found this. I had to read it three times before I understood what the message was.

I am slowly getting back to my life where I had good work life balance, but this time I am paid well with lots of learning.

I am on my way to become a time millionaire.

Client gets an error message. Proceeds to write the error message on a piece of paper, scans the paper in as PDF and attaches the document to an email to tech support.

For the love of god, I spent 2,5 hours debugging why Minecraft from the windows store doesn't work...

The game just shows a red message telling you it didn't work.

I checked the logs, nothing just warnings

I re-installed the game, nothing, same error

Updated java and all parts of the store, nothing....

Obviously I had to install Something called the "xbox identity Provider"... You know... On a PC... For a distinctly PC game to work... Installed by the store... And the provider is also on the store... But it doesn't auto-install with the game

Ever since you migrated to the Microsoft Auth the login experience is awful (I ranted about that already)

How about you do the bare fucking Minimum of an User experience and Install the fucking dependencies when I re-installed something your fucking store??!!!

The fucking bare minimum that every package manager ever created fucking has as a basic requirement?! Are you kidding me?

Rename your fucking services so they make sense and please don't waste everyone's time by having both shitty logs and no dep management for your own apps... Fucks sake

One of the guys in my uni group project accused me of bullying, shutting him out of the group, ignoring him and taking over his work. He complained to head of year, I had to have a "discussion" with head of year, welfare tutor and my personal tutor.

For supporting evidence, I brought the message he'd posted in our team Facebook group where he told me to do the thing I was doing. The discussion didn't last long, but it seemed he was unhappy with me asking questions, mean things like "I need a draft api to do my work, why don't we sit down and design it instead of the UI you're working on?"

Conclusion? He "worked on a separate project". Got to the end of the year, the whole class went for pub drinks, someone else came up to me, had been through the exact same thing, exact same person, different group project.

Group projects teach you to hate people.

We do infra as a code, and one of my coworker worked on the project alone. Few months down the road, when shit hits the fan, he just message me this is not working.

First of all, I did not write that shit, and also I was never part of the conversation during the decision making. So when shit hits the fan what do you expect me to do? Do some black magic and fix it magically???

That log4j RCE is some fucking nasty business!!! Its exploits have already been observed multiple times in our company scope.

Time for some unplanned Saturday evening hot-patches :/

P.S. Why the fuck leave such a feature enabled as default??? I mean really, whose brilliant idea was "let's leave the message parser enabled as well as the LDAP query hooks... BY FUCKING DEFAULT!!!"

I mean really, is anyone using that? ANYONE?

And then they laugh at me when I say "stay away from frameworks", "use as little libraries as possible", "avoid foreign code in your codebase",...

you know what.... JOKE'S ON YOU!

So...Worked my butt off to have a website developed by a certain date client and I agreed on. Finished the site 3 weeks ago and sent dev link. Client has been completely silent; unreachable by email (I sent 5 in past 3 weeks) and phone (left 2 voicemails and a message with his receptionist today). In ALL five emails I told him I needed the email addresses he wants used to route his sales leads to...Got nada.

So today I seen that the lead forms have been tested on the website. Dude can't get back to me for 3 effing weeks, BUT can test his lead forms.. You know, without the lead email addresses that i asked for 5x. Ugh, idiot!!!

To the coworkers who won't read this -- If you have a question to message me, type the QUESTION ITSELF. Don't coyly request permission to ask me a question because you're worried you'll bother me, that just turns it into TWO questions. Let us put an end to saying 'hey, can I ask you a question' and then virtually walking away.

Because DevOps in a lot of organizations is really “help desk for clueless developers”, conversations like this happen a lot:

Dev “hey the thing seems to be not working right”

Me “what does that even mean? I need you to be a good deal more specific. What thing. What isn’t working?”

Dev “I dunno”

Me “Are there error messages?”

Dev “yes”

Me “….would you like to share them with me?”

Dev *sends error*

Me “ok did you actually read this error message?”

Dev “yes”

Me “…so you’re good then? It says you’re trying to use a variable that hasn’t been declared yet. You should fix that. “

Dev “…”

Me “good luck”

DXB (airport)'s WiFi doesn't let you call through whatsapp or telegram or even discord. It also does not let you send a whatsapp voice message, which has me very puzzled.

And all I wanted to do was to call my mom. ☹️
(I might also be running a slight fever, which makes me very emotional and sensitive)

Why do my colleagues insist on HOURLY messages like "any update on X?" or "did you fix Y yet?"

REST ASSURED, WHEN IT IS DONE AND READY TO BE DEMOED, I WILL MESSAGE YOU, AS I HAVE FOR ALL PAST FEATURES AND BUG FIXES.

sheesh talk about too much time on your hands...

What's a bigger sin.

Returning a status code of 200 and then the message body saying "An Error Occurred"

or

Only performing data validation on the frontend.

My latest post about my mother made me finally realize the whole picture.

Five minutes ago, I send her a long message that describes how I feel. This message will be the very last act of communication that will happen between us.

This felt like a bullet coming one inch away from my head. Like SWAT team rescuing me from a predator's basement where I spent the last ten years. Part of me already realized what happened and is serene, part of me still can't get used to an idea that this was, in fact, the end, and no further harm will be done.

My future is bright. It's so nice to feel that she doesn't know where I live.

I'm getting annoyed with the increasing number of platforms that implement the "Oops, something went wrong" vague error message.

Now we wait and see if they make change this commit message 🤣

Got a ticket saying we need our website's record creation wizard to have better validation. No worries, just some regex, right?

Sure, regex for name entry (with the usual white person assumptions about names), and fixing the fact that it's in-page popup doesn't close on save. Or save draft. Or delete.

And also you need to apply the name regex for the fields on this page to all the previous names that the user lists.

And there's that one issue where the address history message always shows no matter what.

Oh and make sure that if they choose to ignore those validation issues then the validation message is in the notes for the record.

And fix the thing where it saves as draft instead of as a normal record.

And and and and and...

Can we just talk about making it 1 problem per ticket? This sort of shit makes me look bad when it takes me a week to fix 1 ticket, when I'm usually a few-a-day kinda person

So recently I completed side gig from random freelancing site where I had to shadow troubleshoot performance problems over teams call with random Indian guy on his client's AWS account. Long story short you can autoscale new instances all you want but it's not gonna help if your FIFO sqs has only one message group ID. This architecture is running an online game, which is basically limited to processing ONE event at the same time for ALL players xD
What's even better, basing on naming convention I realized it's a company that I interviewed for like 4 months ago and they told me "we need someone with more experience". Well good luck, thanks for quick cash

Idea for Weekly Rant - What have you developed that you're most proud of?😁

Idea for Dev Rant in General - Ability to add and message friends. Groups or Communities to join and chat. 👫

So I made a message board and posted it here at devrant

Now there’s a user with username Ass and I don’t know what to do about that situation…. I don’t want to remove him from user, but all he posts is ass…

Fuck me

I don't know how managers are planning deadlines and counting December as a full working month!

Most companies that I worked with, count either half a month or push the deadline until the end of January when the workforce is back but not here.

Our division manager has promised the customer that the production environment will be ready on the first week of January, without even consulting the team or checking the schedule like WTF!
The person responsible for setting the infrastructure was on vacation for 2 weeks and he didn't hand over the access to production or share the progress done.
Fast forward, the manager went to slack and pinged the whole company with full caps message that the production should be done today.

Fun times :/

A few days ago, a guy sent me a message on Fiverr asking me to create a website.
The good joke is that they are two engineering students who want me to do their programming exercise.
The nerve.

Panicking awake a minute before the 7:00 am alarm thinking you overslept, knowing you have an 8 am meeting and that you need to make sure you’re fully conscious for it which means taking your ADHD meds ASAP and not getting distracted for an hour as per the usual.

Then getting a message at 7:13 that the meeting is going to be repurposed and your attendance is no longer necessary. 🙃

My LinkedIn status is set to "not interested for work offers" so recruiters won't bother me. So I thought..

Recruiters be like: well screw that, I'll use the connect button and push my stupid generic message into his face anyways.

I was temporarily involved in one project. During the handout I made sure to write a rather comprehensive readme file. Yesterday I got a message from the client asking about basically the first thing written in the readme :")

That day we had the weekly meeting with my boss to tell him what was new since last week.
We were 2 developers, I did the backend and the other guy did the frontend.
I tell him we had nothing new on the frontend. Literally not even one more line of code.
He tells me he gave the other guy some money the day before to encourage him to engage a bit more on the project.
The meeting is about to end when we receive a message in the development group, the guy said he wasn't going to continue in the project.
Not like that, dude.

Intern - adds commit message like "added two files"

Me - Hey Intern, I've added commit lint, please don't disable precommit hooks.. so let's follow standard commit message format

Intern - commits like "feat(app): fix changes"

*later*

Me - Hey Intern, please commit with short meaningful messages like what actual changes were made

Intern - commits like feat(app): whole long story of what he couldn't do and some changes..

Me - 🤦

Yesterday, my boss asked me to solve a certain problem the company has with my code.
I tried reproducing it for a very long time but still couldn't manage to do it.
Ultimately (after my boss has been no help at all), I changed some stuff and sent the revised version with this message:
"I couldn't reproduce the problem, so here is a revised version with some changes that **could potentially** solve the problem you're facing."
She immediately decided that the entire company was switching to this version and thanked me. There is no way she tested it that fast. She just saw this might be a fix and didn't bother with the details. I have no idea if the update fixes the problem or even if it won't break anything else. I tried to explain the situation to her but she asked, "Are you saying this works on your computer?" and I was like "Yes, but..." and she didn't care about anything after the Yes, and I just know that when the problem will occur the complaint will be directed at me, and I'm sick of it.

Some older woman in my building tried to cyberbully me. She found a back door because the building’s online message board emails everyone in the building and those emails have a link to email the author.

You bet I snitched on her to building management after she continued to email me after I had asked her to stop and told her that her email was offensive. I don’t tolerate people who make assumptions about my ethnicity and use that as a reason to send me demeaning messages.

And you bet I contacted the developers of the building’s message board about the backdoor. And of course they implied that I could have prevented this and sent me instructions. No, I could not have prevented this and those instructions they sent me would have never applied to my comment on the message board.

I got caught...

Hi Lexter, we think our web is broken. This message does not seems right:

For Biden.

I love my job, those little things.

Probably everyone at least once had situation when they receive a meaningless screenshot with 500 page, a message "Application doesn't work fix it" and 0 info whatsoever.
Here is my tip that saved me a lot of trouble.
I display error id in the center of the screen, large enough so no matter how small and blurry the image is (yes users, send us photos of theirs displays) , It is always easy to ready it so we can start investigation without talking to those monkeys.

Ready for another look into my JIRA life?

Ticket Title: "The 'Selected photos' setting will result in users being able to select only one photo at a time."

Ticket Description: "This is not directly a bug, because this problem is caused by the selected setting. Here one would have to consider to give this option no more and/or with an error message the user on it to make attentive, how he can change the attitude."

I don't even have to worry about NDA in this one because it makes absolutely no sense.

BTW, we don't have a single text in the app with the words "selected photos"

99% sure the creator of this ticket wrote it when they were high, drunk, or both

Some days I'm really not sure if I'm a developer or everybody's general problem solver because I'm an engineer and can think critically about your site configuration THAT YOU SHOULD BE ADMINISTERING YOURSELF!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"Doesn't work, must be the dev."

Wrong. You misconfigured something and fucked it up. Figure it out yourself - actually read the error message right in front of your face - and don't waste my time.

I was trying to book a visit to my doctor at the largest private clinic of the country... I wonder what would a normal user understand from this message? 🤣

Normal colleagues pick the right slack channel and post a message there.

My colleague picks a random channel that has no relation to dev at all and posts a question/request there.

He must be using a random script to pick the next channel name :D

God I fucking hate macs.
I got a mac at work. I tried to install ubuntu, with rather questionable results (unfortunately, I expected that) - so I tried to get mac work for me the way I like a system to work. I needed to download slack, simple enough, right? Ha, you wish. It's gotta be done through Apple store, so I went to create an Apple ID inside the Apple Store form. And, well, it just errored out on the submission. Great start. I went then to the settings and created an account there, great success, went back to Apple Store. Unfortunately being logged in at the system level doesn't mean you are logged in to the store. So, I went to log in to the store, simple enough, right? No, nothing's simple with Apple. After logging in I got a message that the Apple ID has not yet been used with Apple Store and that I need to review the account's setting. So, I click the "review" button and... I'm presented with a log in form. Yep, a perfect log in loop. I can't log in because I can't review the account but I can't review the account because I can't log in. Fun :)

You can't just go to the web admin panel for your account to review it for Apple Store, that would too be too easy. After a bit of searching I've found an answer on StackOverflow. You need to log in to iTunes. Through a fucking MUSIC APP. To install a free application from the store you need to log in to a music app. Yes, we're all mad here.

Then, after finding out that to be able to use side buttons on my mouse I need an app that I need to manually restart every time I restart the machine and that I need to have an app to fucking transfer files from an android I need another fucking app, because reading a storage of a linux-based system would be too standards compliant - something in me broke. I found out that installing windows on a mac is officially supported.

Supported doesn't mean that it's easy. I tried to install it trying different solutions from SO, but each time I would get an error that Windows couldn't modify the boot partition. Turns out that even wiping the drive and reinstalling OSX doesn't remove residual files on a boot partition and Windows installer is not allowed to modify them. It took me hunting into some shady looking site to actually find this answer. I have no fucking idea how long it all took me, but, finally, great success, Windows, WSL, side buttons working, I can even install slack from an installer. I just wish I could have those hours of my life back.

Looking for platform specific language options for a new project at work and reading articles from well known sources.

If you start your article with something like, "when I think of a good programming language, I think of JavaScript", I'm going to punch out of your shitty opinion faster than an async function.

When you're trying to convey an unbiased message you generally don't start with, "I'm an absolute shill for {language}".

What the fuck happened to journalistic integrity?

Must be great to be a giant fucking dumbass company raking in more than enough money, that you can't add 40-50 more characters on why your API doesn't like our call.

"Here's an API call with 3 different ways to make a call, we will show you an example for only the easiest method, AND if you get the more complex ways wrong, we'll just respond with an error code 422 with the error message "validation failed".

fuck.

you!!!!!!!!

I don't give a fuck about calling them out:

Its Bexio.

The amount of energy spent to just write ‘Hi’ and click a send button is so big that we should consider banning of sending hi messages.

Instead of just saying “Hi!” we are now using analog to digital preprocessors that convert it to bunch of 0 and 1 to send it over communication layer and deliver it to other human being that will convert it from digital to analog by reading it but that is simple.

By sending message using phone we also:
- save it to local phone
- convert it to couple protocols
- transmit it over air so make connection to internet provider services that would generate logs on this provider as well as whole routing table before it gets to the target person
- save it on messaging provider disk
- probably be processed by filters by provider, sometimes be reviewed or listened by third parties and also processed in bulk by artificial intelligence algorithms
- finally delivered to target phone and saved there where that person would just change this text to their inner voice and save it
- sometimes encrypted and decrypted
- sometimes saved on provider
- sometimes saved on phone manufacturer cloud backup
- don’t get me started on people involved to keep this infrastructure in place for you just to say hi

There are also some indirect infinite possibilities of actions for example:
- emit sound and light that can lead to walking from one room to other
- the floor in your house is destroyed cause of it so you need to renovate your floor
- sound can expose your position and kill you if you’re hiding from attacker
- sound can wake you up so you wake up in different hours
- it can stop you from having sex or even lead to divorce as a result simple hi can destroy your life
- can get you fired
- can prevent from suicide and as a result you can make technology to destroy humans

and I can write about sound and light all day but that’s not the point, the point is that every invention makes life more complicated, maybe it saves time but does it really matter ?

I can say that every invention we made didn’t make world simpler. The world is growing with complexity instead.

It’s just because most of those inventions lead to computer that didn’t make our world simpler but made it more complicated.

Dev: Sends weekly update email on Friday, as drudgingly required by management, outlining that stress level is high recently in the past two weeks and constant polling for feedback and updates is stressing him out, needs to slow down the pace

Management: (ON A FUCKING SATURDAY): "Received your email @fullStackChris"

WOW! THANKS FOR THAT INSIGHTFUL UPDATE! I BET YOU DID! I HAVE NO DOUBT GOOGLE'S SMTP SERVERS ARE RUNNING PROPERLY. AND AFTER READING IT, YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO @ ME IN A WHATSAPP MESSAGE. ON A FUCKING SATURDAY. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU, I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THE COMPANY OR ITS TASKS UNTIL MONDAY. PLEASE STOP.

I mean they must be fucking with me at this point, right guys? Maybe I should start writing stuff like "I need more tasks and more messages throughout the day" then I would probably receive less, I mean wtf is actually going on.

What is it with shipping websites sending you an email saying "hey, here's your tracking number and tracking URL!" and then that *very same link* saying "this tracking number doesn't exist, it can take a few days to show up sometimes, try again!" I'd understand if this was one knock-off weird company, but it seems to be *all of them*.

Seriously, how hard is it to just initialise a tracking number at the point you send that email so it at least shows a "parcel not yet picked up" or similar message? I know it doesn't make much material difference to tracking but it just reeks of bad UX and lazy / incompetent devs.

Client breaks website and i’m the one trying to fix things. For two unplanned hours i’ve been trying to help and instead of a thank you i get a thanks for nothing message. I’m not responding to this client next time. Fuckn bitch

ugh... another shitty day. its been 2 months since i joined this team , and i am counting the days that have not gone being shitty.
i am not doing any shit of a work, yet just sitting in front of company code and slack whole day, trying to figure out what am supposed to do and how.

- my task is currently making release of a unity sdk. i never worked on unity until 2 days ago when i gor this task.
- company laptop has a fuckin jamf with unity 2019 that won't even open properly. i raised a ticket to IT and somehow got it to update and work for my laptop after 2 days.

- now i am able to create a default project and get it to run, but now the company sdk that is supposed to be installed in a project causes the project to not build when i include it.

- other team members are being assholes. i message this guy 4 times in 10 minutes since i have no clue what to do, and this asshole replies after 6 hours, when i am having my lunch. and his reply ? "try to play around this . am working on a p1 bug so can't help now" wtf man give me something, i am stuck

- there are also issues raised on our github's page for sdk. i have no clue how our sdk works internally and yet i am expected to respond to these issues. i asked the same asshole to look onto an issue(whose reporter was nice enough to include a full stack trace and even the exact place which is causing ANR and his reply was "yeah check on this , ask the other(asshole) guy about it, he fixed ANRs before. look into the sdk, we don't need to reply on GitHub issues asap".

- the main problem here is : i have zero clue how to approach this sdk! i have implemented it completely in a sample project but the whole sdk is in java with so so many pointless (from my p.o.v) interfaces and base classes that i can't understand how to get to the bottom of it! and yet am supposed to jump into this stuff.

i hate when code feels like magic and job feels like prison janitor work. i want to get into action : add apis , build stuff , make a change , but somehow i ended up with the most boring and irritating job i could find.

i can't even just stop and work on my personal stuff because they have got jamf on this fucking laptop. us these async expectations are killing me

btw did i mention the tech lead has been having a fantastic time getting married and taking multiple vacations? yeah, that guy just took a call with me for like 3 times in last 50 days. this company is all so charming from outside : weekends off, 1/4 fridays off 3 days a week standup , but so less interactions is clearly making me , a new guy with already a very less interest in java and their various shitty sdks, very uncomfortable.

I look in the docs at the function send(..., copy=True, ...).

I want to understand what copy is for and I read the description of the parameter: "copy (bool) – Should the message be sent in a copying or non-copying manner."

BuT whAt DoES thAt MEAn ?!

when you see a git message that simply reads

"a bunch of stuff"

you know it's gona be good B)

So I'm working on something and I get a message from the business owner saying that something is missing in production, we need to fix this quickly. Turns out it's some missing images. We have a placeholder in place, so no harm done, users just see a placeholder image there and it's a minor thing. (These images cannot be uploaded by the user, because no one had the time to complete a feature for it. So business people bother developers.)

Anyway, the business owner escalates this into a request to add those images quickly to the repo and push it to production asap. I said that it can be done, because it is very low risk, but as I've seen this kind of "going straight to the developer with my problems" behavior before, I wanted to bring the issue to a broader audience. Then the product owner (PO) steps in and asks why wasn't he involved in this. Then other PO's step into the conversation as well, because they manage the process to prioritize and handle bug reports. Then someone posts the bug and error prioritization assessment and what do you know, judging the issue from that scale, it ranks as being "low".

"But what do we tell the customers?!". Oh, fuck you! It's one customer! Not everything can be prioritized as critical! If we stop work to fix every single thing we get feedback on without doing a proper assessment and prioritization, that's all we will be doing.

This is why PO's exist. They will push the breaks and assess the situation, then prioritize the work accordingly.

Well....this shit again
This morning or technical manager calls me in his office and says he needs to discus something
sits me down and started talking about a project he needs
A school management system says he presented some demos at the client yesterday but they didn't really like options at the table

Manager: So can you get us something really quick?

Me: Well... what's the time line?
Manager: They needed this like yesterday!
Me: Aaaah....well i think i can have something by 2moro morning
Manager: Aaah! No!.... 2moro it's too late need something like fast
Me: Ok so will look for some online solutions and open source projects
Me:.....
Opens browser, opens github, download project, runs project
project isnt looking good enough
starts designing UI
Manager:
downloads a system
installes
runs
closes
reopens
meet with a "Buy to continue using system" message
calls me
Manager: this was just a demo now it needs payment what should we do
Me: I'll come up with something by 2moro

After brute forced access to her hardware I spotted huge memory leak spreading on my key logger I just installed. She couldn’t resist right after my data reached her database so I inserted it once more to duplicate her primary key, she instantly locked my transaction and screamed so loud that all neighborhood was broadcasted with a message that exception is being raised. Right after she grabbed back of my stick just to push my exploit harder to it’s limits and make sure all stack trace is being logged into her security kernel log.
Fortunately my spyware was obfuscated and my metadata was hidden so despite she wanted to copy my code into her newly established kernel and clone it into new deadly weapon all my data went into temporary file I could flush right after my stick was unloaded.
Right after deeply scanning her localhost I removed my stick from her desktop and left the building, she was left alone again, loudly complaining about her security hole being exploited.
My work was done and I was preparing to break into another corporate security system.
- penetration tester diaries

If git merge automatically performs a commit to the main branch, how do we add a message to that commit?

getting a scam message in the work phone saying it's from a rival company is really funny, might be the highlight of my week 😂

Alright so
I made an infinite post board.
Infinite in the sense that every post will be on this board, spiraling from position 0 0

I haven’t got a domain but here’s the address:
138.197.71.184

Not built for mobile and may later wipe data because it’s still in testing phase

Anyone who wants to register and leave a post is welcomed to do so

someone took my car parking place, I thought it’s just a week but it didn’t changed, do you think shitting on his car and leaving a note that’s beginning would help ?
Maybe I should just shit over his car and wait for reaction without a message, I can’t imagine how someone would like to steal from me, I started to thinking about different ways of revenge so they can remember that they put their car at wrong place

I want a horror movie with some undergraduate IT student watching coding tutorials, ending up really liking videos of a specific youtube channel.

Then, the student send a message to that creator, and they start knowing each other. After a year, the channel author invites the student to come over.

That youtube channel is called Carl H.

Finally, I just received an OTP message that said it will be expired in 10 minutes.

Funny part is that i was trying to login 2 hours ago at thier(new client) platform to review.

And they said it is fully functional and you will have to fix some minor issues only.

I am thinking this way( it is so secure that you received otp only after it is expired).😅

hey devs, hope you all are doing good..

I was frustated by my salary.. I mean in this job I am good but I didn't got the expected growth..

So I find a job .. but before resigning because I know my boss is cool atleast he will listen .. so I leave him a message that I wanted to do more.. and got the other offers.. He said no worries.. we will match your package.. but now you can be associate TL and handle the team also..
I took the offer..

atleast I am satisified. The thing is new team is mostly are dumbo :( Will see how long I can pull..

or I am hoping my next rants will be something like.. I will join as junior dev pr same salary.. just take me out from this fucking TL role.. because I know what team is going to do.. someone stuck.. ask TL.. someone have internet issue ask TL.. don;t know css.. ask TL.. dont know logic.. ask TL. its look like I have to be google for team

Anyways will see how it goes.. I wish me luck

Ohh yeah if you are in TL roles.. could you share your experience please

I had to contact technical support for an API. I’m pretty sure I was emailing with a bot because I was getting all sorts of stupid replies.

Me: I’m using your SDK for language X. It’s returned null for some properties. In the user portal, I can see there are values for those properties for the transaction. I don’t know why I’m not receiving them on my end.

Tech Support: Hi! I see the following was sent in the API response. [Sends api response to me.] You can also go the the portal to see those values.

Me: Yeah, I know. You just repeated everything I wrote to you. I don’t want to go to the portal. I told you I want to figure out why your SDK doesn’t seem to map those properties correctly when I receive the api response.

TS: Let me look at the docs. I think you need to send the properties you want in your request in order to get them back in the reply from the api. Such as <property>value<property> in the xml message.

🤨 The docs do not say that. They don’t even imply that.

Me: What the fuck?! That makes absolutely no sense. We have already established that the api **is** returning values for those properties. I want to troubleshoot why your SDK is mapping them as NULL.

I finally found the courage to quit my $5/hr freelance job I just sent out a long letter and message to the CEO letting him know that I’m done damn why the fuck do I feel nervous ?

I've become so cynical during the pandemic. Got a message from some HR lady in LinkedIn, and while I am in no way looking for a new job, I looked up the company. They make one type of industrial devices and sell them around Europe. Rather low turnover.

I'm a pretty high skilled web developer / architect. I build highly scalable web based applications using cloud platforms. The message was obviously just copy pasted and sent to various people, but the initial reaction in my mind was to ask her where did she get the idea in her small little head to ask me to work for her shitty company instead of the one I'm working for now which has over 500 expert developers in various fields, incredibly interesting projects that you can take your pick from and in general one of the greatest work cultures ever with no corporate bullshit. Were you gonna pay me triple the money or what? because I still wouldn't do it.

I just messaged her that I'm not interested atm.

Wonderful new feature with Facebook..

Auto closing message threads..

Which take you 5 minutes to get back to where you was reading..

And then close again the moment someone comments !

Brilliant !

So few days ago I've installed Mojave from clean setup (Hackintohsh) and works smooth as butter, and today I woke up in the morning and sat down to work, my pc was running on windows so I restarted it, there was some updates to be installed but what a heal will install them later, so the pc started booting in Mojave, usually takes few seconds but this time it got stuck on the loading screen, so rebooted again and this time added -v boot parameter to clover to see whats going on, got some errors about IGPU (had to use intel's gpu.. thanks Nvidia .!.), did few googling some suggested using -disablegfxfirmware but that didn't work, so rebooted again.. hoping I would get more info, guess what? windows 10 was in hibernation (possibly because there were updates to be installed on boot) and that somehow prevented mojave from using the ssd i guess? not sure exactly, so In the end I got very lucky cause if I didn't read the message I would have reinstalled the mojave and loose a day at work... politely f*** you windows updates!

Starting the day with a coworker's message filled with incompetence, assumptions, and flat-out ignorance.

Happy clown day!

Is it normal to have a colleague have his notifications slack turned off during work hours? Whats worst is we're collaborating on a common ticket, and when I send her a message, she doesn't even reply and few hours later she always apologizing and having excuses. I don't want to be disrespectful but this has been affecting my work.

Title: Error Popup Occurs --> To be discussed

Description: When I open the app -> I see the app screen -> then I see some text -> sometimes there is a popup showing an error message

We of course don't want any errors at all so we should hinder these error messages

No, this isn't parody, arrows and all its how some people write our tickets, why do they write it this way!?!? Where is the value!!?!? Where is the comprehension!?!?!? God I get so sick of it sometimes.

stupid dumb wordpress, who POSTS a user registration, returns data to the SAME site with a dumb "successful" message alert, and THEN redirects to whatever page you want?!?! looks like shit, feels like shit in terms of UX

JUST REDIRECT ME TO THE PAGE I WANT FROM THE SERVER THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT OF PHP

I swear its as slow as balls too

Need advice:

So this recruiter from AWS reached out to me for a SDE job. I said yes I’m interested and scheduled an interview. She didn’t show up. I politely said would you like to schedule another time 30 min after the empty session was over. She said yes. Then the day after she sends me a message saying they can’t hire students. (I’m 20 yo second year electrical engineering student but I have decent dev experience ~3-4 years) I tell her I’m not planning on continuing with my 3rd year next fall. She says no I’m hiring from the “industry only”. And I try to tell her I’ve never had an internship before and all of this work experience is all by myself and not university related….she stopped responding…..what am I supposed to do? It’s not the first time that this has happened. They see “graduating 2024” they immediately bounce. I tried hiding what year my university education starts/ends….didn’t work…

TrumpScript is one funny programming language that was formulated by four Rice University undergraduates. TrumpScript allows developers to operate with numbers that are bigger than one million. If programmers user numbers less than a million then it will generate a quote from Donald Trump as an error message: ”I’m really rich, Part of the beauty of me is I’m very rich.”

Omg why are social cards so hard to debug? Did no one think of such obscure techniques as local debugging? And why doesn't Twitter show me the error message? It's the same code for fuck sake! It works with one article but not with another. There MUST be some very exact problem with one of my images, but Twitter just doesn't fucking give me a proper log.

FX [ Tries to pay online bill using PayPal.. ]

"Payment failed" said their website. ( When I say, said, I mean, flashed on the screen for 1/50th of a second.. )

Only "PayPal" had other ideas and gave them money anyhow..

No problem, I'll just message the customer service folk and get it sorted in a jiffy..

4 weeks later..

First they said Payments take up to 7 working days to action..

Yet previously when I've paid not via Paypal, it took half an hour to show up in my account, not 7 days..

Anyhow, we wait 7 days..

Still nothing, so another message ( They don't appear to have an email address, so you have to use an online form, which limits how much you can type into its little box.. )

During these exchanges I include all the data on my PayPal payment, and each time they seem to ignore that..

First they say they can't find such a payment.

Then they say they are looking more closely and their "PayPal" department will be looking into it.

They still can't find it..

Could I provide a screenshoot of my PayPal payment, sure, but since its hard to send them attachments, I had to stick it on a website and give them a URL instead. ( Hopefully that is not too technical for them.. )

Now waiting to see if they can find it..

If not, I guess one can ask PayPal to get the money back, right ?

I've not had to do that before..

How difficult is that going to be ! ?

Got my tokenizer working agian. Here is the result of a simple out statement (a program that outputs the message "Hello" to the console).

1: {type: 'Operator', name: 'ActionOperator', value: '->'}
2: {type: 'Operator', name: 'OutOperator', value: 'out'}
3: {type: 'ReservedKeyword', name: 'WithKeyword', value: 'with'}
4: {type: 'DoubleQuote', name: 'DoubleQuote', value: '"'}
5: {type: 'StringValue', name: 'StringValue', value: 'Hello'}
6: {type: 'EndOfStatement', name: 'EndOfStatement', value: ';'}

I know it's not a rant, but I'm happy and wanted to share!