BRAG.

New home internet conexion. (yes home).

https://speedtest.net/result/c/...

For lazy, screenshot is uploaded.

I fill it's "only" 2.5Gbps card which limits me, not ISP. But 10 G cards are fucking expensives

Im on the 3rd step

I hate it when a family member ask me to fix something and I fold and try and fix it. I start to troubleshoot and they see what I'm doing and say "oh I thought you knew how to fix it, NVM I can do it." Like wtf this is how u fix stuff

(•_•)
<) )╯i
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\(•_•)
( (> got
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(•_•)
<) )> promoted
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Official title: Web developer
Unofficial title: Bug developer

"A different error message! Finally some progress!"

Developers won't even realize how impactful their bug could be

plugs in 360°

The worst boss and human being so far, still wondering how he keeps the company afloat. This was my first longterm developer job almost a decade ago and I was a student at that time. The application was an outlook plug in for a document management system.

Scene 1:
Boss: The processing is too slow. Make it faster.
Me: After analysis and profiling I can prove that the core (developed in VB6 by a physicist and autoconverted to VB.NET) is the bottleneck.
Boss: I don't care. Make it faster and don't touch the core.

Scene 2:
Boss: I want the app to behave in that way.
Me: This is not what we specified previously. Look here. Nonetheless, I would have to rewrite half of the plugin. Mind that it is an outlook plug in and we are restricted by outlook. If you want that, it would take XX days and we do not have enough time until release.
Boss: I don't care. Do it. And the deadline stays as it is.
Boss 2 weeks later: I don't like it.

Scene 3:
Me: To release in time I need more resources. I need at least one tester and another developer would be a huge plus. Also, I need a second PC for testing.
Boss: No.
2 weeks later:
Boss: why does it not work properly in outlook 2010? Didn't you test it?
Me: I could not. I have only outlook 2007. I asked for more resources and did not get them.
Boss: it's your fault. Bad work.

Scene 4:
*Me having failed multiple exams, stress at work, started to drink*
Boss: Don't you like working here?
Me: ...

Finale:
*Me getting written sick with severe depression*
Boss: fires me.
Me: Loses flat. Quits uni. Unemployed for 6 Months, one rejection after another (boss was phoned, that's sure). Moving back to parents. Sues boss. Gets money.

I still hate him and wish him the most painful experiences in life. Such people belong behind bars. But the justice isn't always served. One has to move forward and improve himself.

First job interview, caused such a good impression that I was hired on the spot. Oh yeah

I’ve a friend works for live chat team.
He told me the most asked question is:
“Are you robot?”

Oh boy... IM ANGRY!
My lovely ISP just sent me my new Reciever and router, they now are 2 seperate things, which shouldve made stuff easier for me... SHOULD have...
So I connected both with ethernet, power etc... and... nope...the Reciever didnt accept the Router... nice. very nice... after HALF an HOUR i finally got through Support, amd they said "Use your old Reciever/Router combo, we will activate the new one on monday" so I went like:
Ok, that should work!
And nope. For whatever reason as soon as my new Reciever was plugged in, it sent a message to the ISP which went like:
"Im on the net, deactivate the old one"
You know what happened now...

My old Reciever/Router combo is deactivated and my ISP cant activate it because the departement for this doesnt work on the Weekend...
And my new one cant be Activated because its seperate now and the Router isnt activated by my ISP...

Now im here, with my phone as a FUCKING HOTSPOT FOR EVERYTHING I HAVE!
Alexa? Hotspot.
PC? Hotspot.
TV? Hotspot...

Fuck this...

FUCK.

Even 12 gigs of ram and a i5 cpu cannot satisfy the greed of google chrome.

My body: *exists*
Flu: its free real estate

Like the temperature goes above 0 for 2 nanoseconds and im already sneezing, do i even have a fucking immune system???

Fuck Google Chrome and fuck you too MSI...
Why the hell would you not allow me to register my motherfucking MSI motherboard without installing Chrome first.

We are now at this point where Web Devs are refusing to make a simple shitty html form work unless it is running in Google Chrome...

You know what? Shove a big fat horse dildo up your ass.. I'm not registering this piece of shit and if I find the dev behind this, I will shove the entire MoBo up their ass without lube just to watch them scream in pain and agony.

Irony is, the person who put this is on his seat is German 🙂 🇩🇪

"It is far better to adapt the technology to the user than to force the user to adapt to the technology. " - Larry Marine

awesome quote

A temporary replacement teacher came in today, she is so fucking dumb omfg, I am literally shakeing, this pic will tell you everything.

dark theme.

Companies asking if your desired salary is negotiable.

JS developers be like.

Google knows you better than you and your family

yeah learn to code from a youtube video and you'll magically get a 60K paying job

Now that sounds fun

When i understand a new framework vs trying to learn a new framework

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

From /r/programmerhumor

*DEADLOCK*

When your boss codes well