I've made a thing and I'm proud of it.:D

Irony is, the person who put this is on his seat is German 🙂 🇩🇪

As a German I approve

I have made this RGB LED tie. One of my friends and me had the idea at 2 am and now it has come to reality :D

It runs on an Arduino nano, 8 rgb leds and is powered by a 9V battery.

I have prom tomorrow ('abschlussball' in german) I probably won't wear it during the official part but definitely at the party after prom.

The current animation is a bit too fast (I was listening to hardstyle while coding it) for the music they will play tomorrow at the party so I still have to make a slower one.

Tell me what you think about it :P

This is a sign in a german zoo.. Wtf

Websites that only display the language based on IP address (geolocation data) can go fucking fuck themselves.

THE FACT THAT I'M USING A VPN SERVER IN GERMANY DOES NOT MEAN THAT I CAN FUCKING READ GERMAN. AT LEAST GIVE ME THE MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCKING OPTION TO CHANGE THE FUUCKING LANGUAGE YOU FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING COCKSUCKERS.

MOTHERFUCKER.

Just read this in German craigslist:

I make your new fancy website...only 99€...no wordpress, cuz thats for blogs only...
I program object oriented in HTML/CSS!

Duolingo is teaching me some really important sentences

This cum-slurping cockmonger that is the German Minister of Inner Affairs Horst Seehofer not only demands to have access to encrypted messages by Signal, Telegram, etc, but now also wants access to home assistants like Amazon Echo. Slowly turning Germany into a fucking surveillance state, aren’t you, you little dick cheese-sniffing, pube-eating wet fart of a politician?

From the bottom of my heart, please go fuck yourself.

Saw this motivational message while learning German on Duolingo.

Shots have been fired 😂😂😂😂😂

And yes, Duolingo is truly a great app and you might see me practicing my German here.

So all my German friends, please help me learn it. My only intention is to figure out the language before Rammstein's next album is out so that I can understand them and sing along.

I just saw this cool shirt in a german online shop.

Fucking german highways, man!

How can they think that anybody falls for those ads?

Honestly. = != ==
Also: German and English mixed? Choose one, best stick to English if you want to look serious about looking for developers.
What does Job == interested even mean? The job is interested in the candidate?

It's the biggest satisfaction to know that Wix means wank in German!
"why not do it yourself" just adds to it.

!dev
We now have around 10cm snow and it make my way to college around 300% harder,
But I don't care, because this looks fucking beautiful.

Also, I can approve this famous saying about German trains,
"Caution! Doesn't work in case of:
Weather"

I'm impressed about how everyones english among DevRant is nearly flawless - it's users are based all around the globe and still, I know nobody in real life who is even near fluent in speaking English (fellow German potatoes will probably know that feel)

Awesome! 😀

For the love of dog, if I select English on your online store, it doesnt mean I live in the UK, therefore show me prices in £ pounds, It just means I cannot speak German but I need to read English, but pay in € Euros!!! Can people please stop confusing Language with Location!!!!

Imagine we would not code in English, but in German:

--- Haupt.java
importiere java.nützliches.strom.Strom;

öffentlich Klasse Haupt {
öffentlich statisch Leere haupt(Kette[] args) {
Strom<Kette> argStrom = Strom.von(args);
argsStrom.fürJedes(System.raus::druckeZeile);
}
}

---
ich@meins ~ $ javac Haupt.java
Haupt.java:3: Falscher attributiver Genus: 'öffentliche' erwartet

I saw this yesterday and thought it's kind of nice. Probably not everybody will understand it as it's German. But the level of creativity is definitely gratifying

#Rant
German-Rant :)
English:
Q: What have my grandpa and my router together?
A: An SS - ID

TIL german ICE trains use Chrome to show the next stations

Hey fellow devs,

I'm proud to say, that today I've passed my final step/exam of my apprenticeship.

So now I'm officially an IT-Specialist - Software Development or "Fachinformatiker für Anwendungsentwicklung" in german.

I'm so fuckin' relieved and happy that this chapter is now finally closed and the real fun can begin!

My new job - indeed the old one with 4x payment and just a 32 hour week instead of a 40 hour one.

Now I will cheer and drink as much whiskey I can find out there! :D

PS.: This baby (pic related) was my presentation device today. One member of the commission had to laugh, a ranter as it seems! ;)

I'M STARTING GRAD SCHOOL!!!!! I'm so excited I can't think properly. I started screaming in Latin and German mixed with English because I couldn't remember enough words in any one language to express myself, and I'm still certain I was incoherent.

Doing cybersecurity and forensics because I hate having a social life 😎

I like the screenshot on the German Wikipedia page for Recursion

Name your stuff in English. Variables, functions, files. Everything.

You make the code completely unmaintainable for everybody that doesn't happen to speak your language otherwise.

I cringe every time I see someone in our company use German in his code. Just don't.

Chrome, For the last fucking time!

I do NOT want to translate English from French to English!!!

Wtf is wrong with you?
English is French, German is French, did I miss the raise of the global French empire?

FFS!

Fun fact: "wix" of wix.com in German language phonetically translates to a vulgar word for masturbation. Not only describes my feeling towards services like these but also gives new meaning to the "do it yourself" mentality.

German rick and morty fans be like...

My stickers just arrived. And I especially love the encoding of “ß” within the street name.

German. It's hard.

Next time, just use upper letter and replaced “ß” with “SS” or just use a “B”. The B is especially fine to drive typographers mad.

Had to switch to a MacBook due to my new employer and the layout is driving me crazy!

Almost 20 years I've been typing the @ by altgr+q (German layout).

At the same position is now command.

And command+q closes the current window instantly.

This happened almost 10 times today...

I've read so many stuff in english that it feels really weird to read something in my native language(german). Especially when they're using german words in their code:

public Nahrung mittagessen;
public Gast()
{
mittagessen = new Gericht("Wiener Schnitzel");
}

are you fucking kidding me?!

Der, Das, Die.

I got some stickers from the German party 'Die Piraten'. They support data privacy and focus on Internet related things.

The stickers are just awesome.

That's it, I'm moving to Sweden.

Festo is a German company specializing in industrial automation... Their homepage only connects to one domain... THEIR OWN DOMAIN...

No random anal(ytics)
No pointless social media integration
No stupid.remote.fonts.wankjob.com...

Just their own domain... More companies should be like this.

Playing Civilization on my dad's 386 running Windows 3.11.

I remember installing various games from like 8 floppy disks each. What really confused me was that in every single game I installed, the language was really weird and I could hardly understand half of it. Always asked myself why the hell every single game developer put the same horrible German-ish fantasy language full of errors in their games.

It was much later that I realized I've always been setting the language to Dutch, thinking it was German ("Deutsch"). Yeah, my English skills were horrible back then.

🇬🇧/🇺🇸: email
🇩🇪 (Telemediengesetz): "ADRESSE DER ELEKTRONISCHEN POST!" ("address of electronic postal service")

Yea, I fucking love my first language.

Yesterday was the day.
The day I finally got asked for help on fixing a printer;

And finally telling in freaking polite German to fuck off, google the problem, never ask a programming nerd again for this shit - and to understand that printers are evil monsters

One day my computer science teacher (we were working with Raspbery Pi) gave us the assignment to fill some areas with blocks in Minecraft PI using a Python script.
Me: Why did you use a while loop instead of a for loop?
He: What is a for loop?

From this moment the class was mostly held by me and it was actually quite a lot fun :).

I still am quite frustrated about the quality of german computer science classes.

!rant
In our advanced software engineering lecture everyone has to hold a free presentation about about an own topic.
One of my fellow students picked “failed IT large-scale projects” and - of course - had some german examples with him. You know, we germans are good in failing large projects🤣
He has chosen “FISCUS”, a project that wanted to unify the german tax system. It was a FIaSCUS. 13 years without any progess. 13 ... years ...

ok, but this is, where the story begins. The student then began to enumerate the reasons, why it has failed.

He told about bad architectures and stuff like that until the teacher interrupted him.

“No, that’s false. We had the problem, that some states, blablabla”

The important word was the “we” and we realized, that this student has by chance picked exactly that big project in which our teacher was the PM.
What the Heck.

He than had to think triple, about everything he had planed to say😂

Working in company where part of team is located in Austria and these morons write evrything in fucking german, method names, comments and even the parameters which are sent to fronted. Like it isn't enough they even use special characters like ß,ü,ä and ö everywhere

Just surfin aroung in C# job offers and found this gem, a joboffer from a german bank:

"Sie verfügen über Erfahrung in der Entwicklung individueller .NET-Lösungen auf Basis von C "Hashtag"."

which translates to

"... and you have excperience with C "hashtag"..."

Lol'ed harder then I should have...

German (and I think most off Europe) :
DD.MM.YYYY
USA:
MM.DD. YYYY
Data management :
YYYY_MM_DD

... It always confuses me...

😂😂😂😂

!rant

Just finished the new voting system for the school representative of my school, tomorrow ~600 students (including me) will use it, feels good! :)

Btw, I'm 16

Also, I am working on another project if anyone wants to take a look and give me some design feedback, as I learned everything I know by myself (It's in German though, I'm from Austria)

I just had a rather stressful morning. I should've known something was up by the sounds of thunder as I walked into the office.

I sat down and checked my emails. There was an email from the boss who was away on a business trip. The subject read, "CRITICAL BUG" and my name was mentioned. "Great...No time for coffee", was my first thought.

I began searching commits to see when and how the bug came to be. "SHIT! It was my fault", I said aloud.

(A bit of backstory, I am Irish, working in Germany with a B2 level of the German language.)

I now had to communicate the problem quickly with a senior developer who is Russian. He can't speak English well and I would not expect him to speak it. We are in Germany after all. I tried my best to communicate the issue, but I found it so difficult to understand his German in a Russian accent. Normally, in the office I speak German except when it is urgent and I must explain a problem in greater detail through English. I got past that obstacle, however, the real challenge of fixing the bug awaited.

After 2 hours of coding, I had a solution and committed it to the master branch. All the while, I had been replying to the bosses emails with updates, probably with many grammer mistakes.

We have no dedicated testers here and the code is written in a way which makes it very difficult to test (i.e. it was written many years ago). When I had initially written the code, I tested rigorously and found no issues.

Just needed to rant. I need a coffee break now...

Sitting in a germans-only company on a germans-only talk, listening to german presenters trying to speak english.
"...And sis is a Integräitontest, witsch is verry important [...] sis here is my sird maven plugin..." schnitzel.

Why for god sake do you funky hip devs mean you have to speak english to me?! Especially if you are simply not able to?

Some of my favorites:
My english is not se yellow from se egg but I hope you understand me.
Sänk ju for trävveling wis deutsche bahn.

Someone has similiar sentences?

I think I misled Google because it just serves me German ads the last three weeks while I am Dutch.

I am not using a VPN.
I listen German music and watch some tutorials in German.
I rarely talk Dutch online and I talk quite a lot with Germans.

Meanwhile in german train

You probably find the issue even if you don't speak German =)

I just love when someone writes variables in Polish/German/Russian/Chinese/Esperanto/Klingon or any other language that is not an English

Cheers my dudes and dudettes, here’s to JS 👌🏻🍸

"To use the clock you need Adobe Flash"

Really 1&1? You really need flash to show a fucking clock? Its not that hard to do this in javascript, or? Even if it is an analog clock :D There is even a tutorial of the "quality content page" w3schools about implementing this in javascript ... just whyyyyyyy? it 2018, not 2004.

(1&1 is an german ISP. This message occured in their webmailer using it without flash.)

The following is written in Latin, German, and English, and is written in a custom script called "VuetendScriptor" aka "MadScript".

Translation as follows:

Hello devRant!
I am very happy to announce my new script "MadScript". I am so happy right now! I have wanted to do this for a long time! Thank you everyone for your help! I could not have done this without you!

German autocorrect always changes "git" to "gut" (good). Lead to some funny moments. (Translation) "Clone the good stuff" or "There is nothing better then gut"

The PCs in our school have a software called "Dr. Kaiser" which purpose is to prevent changes to the disk. I thought it's working like DeepFreeze for OSX devices; having a copy-on-write feature or something like that. One day a friend of mine (kinda newbie in hacking) said he wanted to create a backdoor in the system so you can login as the local administrator of the device. He replaced the "sethc.exe" in the windows directory with cmd.exe on a live distro and claimed it was working perfectly. It turned out that "Dr. Kaiser" is indeed loading the default image on startup, but doesn't verify checksums for system files (and also doesn't include the files in the default image). Long story short: You now can open a cmd with System permissions on every PC in the building.

This. Is. Stupid. It should be forbidden to sell this software 😖

German printing company's order form. Great example for how to make me NOT order there ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"Show all nodes (9500 More)"

Translation: "Papier und Auflage" == "Paper type and amount"

I hate interviewing..

The first sentence of the candidate was, that he wanted to speak in english instead of german. Great start if you stated something else in the application.

And his english was even worse than mine.

And as expected from his tags in the application, he had a broad knowledge base. From IoT, LTE, node.js TCP, Java, Ruby, Python, to VLAN and firewalls.

Guess what, he had no in depth knowledge for the required job. Suprise!

WordPress related, get ready for some disgust.

So today early in the morning my boss forwarded me an email from a client, it was about a bug, and asked me if I can have a look at it and fix it.
"Yaay, WordPress!" I thought and opened the page containing the mentioned bug. She wrote that in the italian version of the page, users can select dates in the calendar, which should be disabled, like in the german version.

So yeah, I opened the code. Everything in the function looked perfect. Really. And the Data was also correctly set in the backend of WP.

The function was only 3 lines of code:

- Get the german post ID of the current post (german or italian) by its ID (using a Polylang function)

- Get an Advanced Custom Fields field by name and from a post with the ID from before

- json_encode its content and echo it to a JS var for initialization and later use in some AngularJS.

No fucking missing semicolon, it was fucking perfect like a sunset with your soulmate.

So I tried to find the bug with my personal way of debugging:

"Shitstream Debugging"
When a creek suddenly is full of water mixed with shit, walk upstream through the turds until you reach clear water. This is where the bug is.

=> So I first looked at the HTML source: Turds.
=> Then the ACF field content: Still turds.
=> Then the ID of the german post: Shit stain and turds (var_dump: null)
=> Please god at least $post->ID? Nope, fart smell and turds.
=> Nothing more to check: Clear fucking water and the flowery smell of 99 devVirgins

So it replaced $post->IT with get_the_ID() and it worked like a charm.

Afterwards I feel stupid, but $post->IT worked all the times before...

Conclusion:
FUCK YOU WORDPRESS YOU UGLY PIECE OF HUMAN-CENTIPEDE-PROCESSED-DOGFART.

Thanks for your patience.
Only one beer was sucked dry during the writing of this fucking rant.

long && scam && rant?

At my parent's: phone rings..
Me: hi this is XYZ (in German)
He: hi this is ABC from Microsoft tecnical suport (strong Indian accent, sorry toall Indian devs who might feel offended, no intention)
Me: hi... (I'm learning for my exams and don't have a VM with Windows installed currently, so no time to "play")
He: we got some worrying data from your Windows computer. You might have a virus and we need to run a few tests to verfy it. Do you know what that is?
Me: yeah, a scam.
He: sorry, sir I didn't understand you, could you repeat?
Me: yeah, I know what " this" is. It's a scam, and we only deploy Linux here. (lie, we have Windows, Mac and Linux, as well as an iPhone, iPad and Android devices in the house, guess who is "support"...) But good luck with your next call.
He: (kind of friendly) oh. I see. Well have a nice day too.

I can hear your fucking music you play through your fucking headphones.. but your on the other side of the fucking wagon.... And the worst part it's fucking German rap - the worst kind of rap.

"Bin so cool rauche Weed und ficke deine Mutter, yeah. Meine Auto fährt so schnell yeah oh."

So I just told my manager that I want to resign my job.

I have decided to accept the offer from a German software company. First time working overseas, full of uncertainty.

I don't know I am excited or nervous now.

One of these commits due to german network structures.
Everybody wants apps. And expects them to run it in smallest villages

Advertisement boards at german undergound station.
Thank you windows for the bright blue light down there under ground <3

EXCEL YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! don't get me wrong, it's usefull and kt works, usually... Buckle up, your i for a ride. SO HERE WE FUCKING GO: TRANSLATED FORMULA NAMES? SUCKS BUT MANAGABLE. WHATS REALLY FUCKED UP IS HTHE GERMAN VERSION!
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT .csv? It stands for MOTHERFUCKING COMMA SEPERATED VALUES! GUESS WHAT SOME GENIUS AT MICROSOFT FIGURED? Hey guys let's use a FUCKING SEMICOLON INSTEAD OF A COMMA IN THE GERMAN VERSION! LET'S JUST FUCK EVERY ONE EXPORTING ANY DATA FROM ANY WEBSITE!

The workaround is to go to your computer settings, YOU CAN'T FUCKING ADJUST THIS IN EXCEL!, change the language of the OS to English, open the file and change it back to German. I mean, come on guys, what is this shit?

AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON ENCODING! äöü and that stuff usually works, but in Switzerland we also use French stuff, that then usually breaks the encoding for Excel if the OS language is set to German (both on Windows and Mac, at least they are consistent...)

To whoever approved, implemented or tested it: FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID SHITFUCK, with love: me

Was joking with my sister about who has more steps. She had done more steps so far, so I said that I would walk 20 times around the McDonald's, where we were going to eat. She replied that she would walk 50 times around it, so I said that I would walk 2 times more around it than she would. She then said, that she would go once more around it. In the end, I explained recursion and infinite loops to her. Her comment was "großer Blödsinn" (German) -> "big bullshit".

German auto correct in Apple Mail.

Instead of writing a customer this:
"Dear xxx, I finished your paginator."

I wrote and send this:
"Dear xxx, I finished your pakistani."

He wondered but took it with humor :)

German train notifies me 8 minutes in advance that my train is cancelled.

Yeah, so useful, thanks...

(I know off-topic but I’m pretty pissed rn)

When I code for myself I do all the naming in German only. Mainly because that's how I can see directly if that stupid mess is done by me or the framework.

Rant about a german problem in english

I think we as the people should just sue the german government for neglect of progress and neglect of the education system. If your not familiar with the state of german IT we have worse internetspeeds than uganda or the notoriously shitty australia, our neighbourstates look at us in disbelief while laughing in optic fibre. Our school system seperates all students after 4th grade in 3 tiers, the lowest one gives you the future perspective as a social security case. The second and highest tier require masses of useless knowledge, so called "competences"(Kompetenzen) which are totally useless skills with no real world application because they are derived from real skills, a median ground between all possible applications of that skill. And while doing that they terribly insist on doing everything the "proper" way, meaning handwritten. Most people you would expect to have basic computer literacy, meaning age 40 and below, are incapable of using basic functions of a non-smartphone computer and do not understand the slightest of what they are actually doing or supposed to do. And I mean nothing technical. Germans are the reasons they still put word as a job requirement for devjobs because this disqualifies half of our population. This leads to many people having the archaeic "we versus the machines" mentality, thinking that if they ever let the computer do parts of the job, they will then lose all of it to the machines. Thats why you never strive past basic mathematical principles in mathematics, which is a big misnomer because you never do actual mathematics, only calculating and basic calculus and statics. If you get to use your calculator, its some basic casio with no actual functionality then standard operations. And even using that is shunned upon. How is this country ever supposed to become something more than it was in the 90's, if we teach people nothing of use and kill all progress in its root.

Well, I wish every logo would be that honest ;-)

Notepad Windows 10 Project Neon Acrylic Theme Concept (German)

You know you're a programmer when you type git instead of gut (good in German) and autocorrect thinks it's ok...

!dev
Acourding to greenmotion, Germans only need 15 Minutes to assemble the Table I assambled today, while everybody else needs double the time.

I'm flying Lufthansa right now, and if the wifi on this plane is indicative of German wifi, my rants will become much much much angrier... this is absurd.

For those in Germany with this wifi... HOW DO YOU FUNCTION???!!!?!?!

My company has sort of project team ("FachArbeitsGruppe" in German) meetings regularly and we love our abbreviations so every now and then at work I see an email or document just labeled "FAG". I think there's even a users group called "FAG IT".

TL;DR: A freehoster got a redesign!

I remember when I made "my own website" in wix and sitey. It sucked working with them for me. I hated having an ad for them fixed at the bottom of my screen. I hated WYSIWYG-editors and wanted to paste my own code, a pro feature.

Sometime later I found bplaced, a free german based (also English language) hoster. And I use it for all my "official" test project. My first ever published self-coded website is still on there.. When I want to show someone what I've been working on (locally) without putting it on my domain, I use their services. They always looked oldish like from 2000 but their redesign puts them at least in 2015 :D

Give 'em a shot if you want.
Sadly, I am not paid to say this. I just really like them.

I tried to contact a big German company about an API endpoint we might want to build a connection to. The docs are behind a login. I request login info through a form and get a mail that my request will be checked and I'll hear from them in 2-3 days. Because my boss wants this info until Friday, I try to call them.
First try: "we currently have a disruption in our phone central, please try again later"
2nd try: "sure, I'll put you through! *beep beep* - connection broke off
3rd try: "this number is not in use" (I used redial, didn't make a typo)
4th try: same as the 2nd try, again.
German red tape and technology at its finest. Fml.

Hi guys!
That is my first...well, rant? No, not at all.

I found this community by accident. I was looking for something like this, but did not realize til now. I scrolled through some posts and it is awesome to read awesome stories and rants from awesome people.

I am a 21 year old SAP ABAP developer from Germany. I have finished my bachelor's degree (business informatics/business information management? German: Wirtschaftsinformatik) last August. I have always been interested in web development and teached myself some php basics when I was younger. I would love to do more things like that, but things have changed. There are lots of different frameworks, languages and stuff. It's complicated.

I am not sure if I have understood how this community works, but I am very excited to find out.

And, as I already mentioned, I am German. So please feel free to bash my shitty English. :D

simple: don't work for a bad company.

I'm German, we aren't funny, my bad.

Imagine if programming languages were also written in different regional languages like Java in german,hindi,spanish.
Recruiters will reject you by saying u don't know java in Spanish.We need a java expert in Spanish.😁😁

You know what really, really sucks about my school? Rant#00

I'm in my last year now and they removed one CS/IT lesson. Now I have two fucking 45min lessons (instead of three) of learning what I'm actually interested in.

Even worse: They don't provide and LK ("Leistungskurs" == advanced course) for CS/IT. Not like for Maths, English, German - okay but LATIN AND SPORT? Wtf
And this school calls themselves a MINT-school (Maths, IT, Natural Sciences, Technology).

EVEN WORSE: The 12th graders now don't even have a basic course CS/IT.

Fuck you school.

I'm 17 and in a German Gymnasium...

Yes! Give me hell! 😈
(it‘s German)

German exam tomorrow damn

Wünsche mir Glück

Is it just me or are there many germans on this platform?

Never write your email adress on a building. And it you do, don't use web.de (basically German and more shitty version of yahoo). Spoted in a fancy business district in central Berlin.

My German bank really needs some better mobile devs. I just tried to do a bank transfer. For some reason, it strips away all letters out of a previously saved IBAN number, and only gives you a keypad for input, so you can't even change it back -.-

“Commit“ sounds like the german “komm mit“(come with me).

NonDev coworker asked me what “Komm mitting“ is

"Billion" doesn't specify the same quantity in German as it does in English.

Heck?

One of our customers calls everytime when he thinks he found a new bug. Then he literally yells "I found a new bow" since he thinks "bug" is a german word, so emphasizes it like that. In german "bug" means "bow of a ship".

I don't know what non-German people do without ubuntuusers.de.
Without this wiki, I probably would know nothing about Linux today. I would have never been introduced to it as a child, would never been able to learn that much, play around with desktop Ubuntu, Raspberry Pis, administrate own servers...
So, thank you, ubuntuusers.de, for helping little Benedikt with Ubuntu in his mother tongue, and making me the Linux enthusiast I am today!

Light themes are just hell.

Husband's birthday. Out in downtown Wiesbaden celebrating if any german ranters are nearby. I suck at planning so i'm sorry for the late notice

Still working for the biggest German ISP...

Intern Websites are only for FUCKING IE11!
CMON GUYS WHY EVEN LET PEOPLE INSTALL CHROME AND FIREFOX WHEN ITS NOT FUCKING SUPPORTED! FUCK OFF

A month ago, I moved to Germany for work from Taiwan. People here are mostly nice and firendly. But if you don't speak German, there will still be lots of problems especially for official paper works.

But most importantly I got really cool and talented colleagues and a challenging job. Which makes me happy at least in work days.

I present you: the internet connection in a german village!

So someone here had the job to merge the current version of our software into another older repo.
(That older repo has some features for future versions, that should be only in there ... don´t ask ... not my decision)

Took him long enough. But he forgot to check one thing while merging: The encoding of the files.

And we´re german...

ALL umlauts, and all other special chars in the code were replaced with this: �
No global replace, because all chars were replaced with the same char.
(Why the fuck do we have special chars in the code in the first place???)

So to not need him to start all over again I compiled a list of common german words containing umlauts and did a global search and replace.

I think I got 90% of the errors like that.
Now he´s going to correct the rest of the errors.

Fuck the comments in the code though.
Just a waste of time...

"What's my email again?"
"Come on. yourfirstname@ourlastname.at."
"Ah, right."
and
"How do I unblock you on WhatsApp?"

Other than that, not much recently.

I am a walking German dictionary to her, however. I mean, I don't need to google it most of the time, so maybe not worth telling her to just google it :P

Some people just lack so much independence, damnit!
Einmal mit Profis arbeiten ... ! (*) 😒

(*) German expression that expresses depending on tone or context a mild to severe frustration as well as the desire to work with qualified people just ... once?! Maybe?! Please?! Often used in IT and dev contexts, because - you know.

Duck spotted at a German Christmas market!

The German translation is really bad. :/

What kind of music do you guys listen too when you're coding? I need recommendations!

I can't do anything with English lyrics (other languages are fine. As long as I don't understand the lyrics, it's not distracting), so I usually stick to instrumental like animals as leaders, polyphia, Chon, etc or German metal: Rammstein, oomph, wbtbwb, etc

Whatcha guys got?

German Christmas market..... Hacking is in the air

I guess most of the things I do are a bad dev habit?
From not commenting stuff to commenting in German to copying stuff without looking at it, procrastinating a lot, not starting at all, bad naming of variables, bad... Everything? Idk, I have a lot to learn

different kinds of doneness:
- The German kind: The method is thought through, implemented, documented, errors are handled and thoroughly tested.
- The "other" way: The method is there ... somewhere

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO TRANSLATE PULL REQUEST TO GERMAN?

According to one of my teachers I have to translate this in a coding guideline otherwise other devs might not be able to follow the procedure...

I asked him how he would translate it and he could not give me a proper answer... describe it he said...
How the fuck does it improve my guidelines if I describe PR!!!
And if your not capable of doing it better how should I know I have to do it!

Sorry I looked at an old exam and got triggered when I saw the correction

I started thinking and worrying about numbers much more than before

in the US, you write numbers like this:
1,000.00
in Germany usually like this:
1.000,00
and in programming languages like this:
1000.00

now i wonder how to type a number, whenever i have to use german software
should i use the US way, the german way or the dev way? the wrong one could possibly break it

We learned Java in school this year. Everyone who did not comply to the coding style defined in some stone-age books, got a bad grade, including me, who rather used a "normal" style everyone uses. They thought us this:
CLASSNAMES, Constants, MethodNames, VariableNames, etc.
Worse than that, they used german names for pretty much everything including classes, variables and methods.

Computers in german schools man.
Everywhere you see those poor white boxes from 19something, which take ages to turn on.
Has anyone else wondered what this "Windows XP" is which it keeps displaying?
Why do none of the teachers use them or explain us what these are?

Messenging with a friend about me working with VBA on a side project.

Me: VBA brings back bad behaviour
Him: Like?
Me: I_AM_KONSTANT and this is a _globalVariable.
Him: Hahaha^^
[...]
Me: Mister O. ...
Him: Mister M. ?
Me: Should i use goto?
Him: I think we need to break off contact.
Him: If you had said you killed someone. Ok.
Him: But GOTO?
[...]
Me: I did it. And then a cold shiver ran down my back.
Him: You deserve that!
____________________
( translate from German )

This is how Pokémon Go shows errors to its users. It says a generic „Error“ in German with different numbers for different errors.
I am not an UX expert, but isn’t this a really bad practice? The error number has no meaning to the user, so why displaying it? I think it is just confusing and looks ugly 😐

I received a LinkedIn message from a recruiter who thinks I'd be a good fit for a role that requires being fluent in German.

My LinkedIn profile clearly states I only have elementary proficiency in German.

I'm gonna reply and see how long it will take for him to notice 😈

So we've been working with a VM at a university course I'm taking during semester break. Keyboard layout was QWERTY instead of QWERTZ, and I'm not used to the first layout, but no problem, I can fix that.
Or so I thought.

So I spend nearly half an hour trying to configure the VM to use the desired layout without altering the Ubuntu instance that much - only to then suddenly discover a small USA flag in the corner of the panel bar which could be changed by clicking once to the German flag.
This also changed the keyboard layout instantly.
So, yay, I guess. D:

So I'm not sure whether this actually is a believable story or not but I think I'll just share the saddest moment in my life with you.

So.... I've been working with a boy 0.5years younger than me on a project in Java so he could learn something about programming. I was actually dictating him code because he wasn't able to JUST WRITE ONE SINGLE LINE OF CODE WITHOUT ASKING ME HOW TO DO SHIT!!! So I dictated him a for each loop:
Me: "for ( Foo foo colon foos ) {doSomeShit();}"
Him: "for ( Foo foo .. foos ) {doSomeShit();}
For your understanding: in German colon means doppel punkt / double dot. I didn't think someone actually writes two dots... THIS IS SO FUCKING SAD

Please don't blame me for being a bad teacher. I'm inn a class with him and I know we did that in class. I also thought it multiple times to him

German guys, I got a question about the ridiculous and totally bullshit piracy laws.

So, I knew that basically downloading is illegal here in Germany (because let's be honest, nothing good is free). However, I accidentally downloaded the mc launcher (tlauncher), which I found out later that is a cracked minecraft client.
I did not really use it, but will I get a $$$ bill for piracy or nah?

Does anybody has experience with that or have heard of it?

!dev

Joys of living in Switzerland:

We have four fucking national languages (english not included), with around 20 dialects of swiss german, most of us only know their origin language, yet stupid companies think we only speak one and assume it's fine to just send their filth in a language we may not understand.

Filter IPs and don't send your shit to regions that don't talk the language, or go and pay some translators (yes, they're expensive, but hey, you chose to sell/promote in Switzerland, deal with the fucking it). We are lazy and uninterested in your shit, so open your wallet if you want to reach us.

And it's not like I can't speak German, I'm just pissed for this inconsideration.

Ffs.

Why are there so many germans on devrant?

Im german too

So I just found this in the source of a website...
There was a copyright note as well. The page was made in 2001...
It is the website of a German institute of education

So I just opened a German news app, and the first thing I see is this ad. Translation: "Transparency and control, all in one: The Google Account"
Are you fucking kidding me, Google???
I nearly categorized this as a joke/meme.

Here’s mine :) Most comfy for productivity 👌🏻

Can anyone recommend a good English to German translator?

Don't trust Google Translate enough to put it's words to paper, only asking here because I've noticed a lot of German dev's on here ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Headphones on
Start Soundcloud/Osu! Playlist
Open IDE

Optional:
Get a german shepherd to protect me from obstacles called "coworkers"

In contact with an skype agent to remove my account, but funny thing is, she/he/it says I need to have access to my account, which I don't. Like, why would I contact you if I could delete it myself?

Like, Microsoft is full of idiotic fucktards. Dude, I'm not gonna give you my phone number. Period. I have the username and the password and that should be enough for you to let me close the fucking account, which I haven't even used once.

On another note, German companies should smarten up tttand stop using skype! Like, ASAP!

I know politics is not allowed here, but I have to share this gem with you.

One day before the election for the European parliament the website of the German city Bochum showed a wrong bar diagram with false results of the election for a few seconds.

Everyone was loling. But I was like WTF? They were testing in production. And also they included data were the party AFD had about 50% of the votes. Are they retarded or so?

Me: Hey, can you help me with that?
Coworker: Sure
* Looks at code *
Ah, you just have to...
* Tries to type *
Uhm, do you the vim plugin?
Me: yeah, is that a problem?
Coworker: Weird flex but it's ok
* tries to type solution *
Uhm, do you also use another keyboard layout?
Me: Yes, I use the US layout (instead of the german layout)
Coworker: I'm done with this, you type
Me: 🤣🤣🤣

Hooked my Piano up, can now play clicker games by playing 🔥 I am so gonna make funny stuff with this

A rant partially inspired by our favorite angry German.

Are you fucking serious? Why the fuck even publish the stories to your fucking website if you're just going to beg me to download your shitty app?

Why don't you download yourself getting fucked by a chainsaw? Now THAT I'd download you fucking assholes.

TL;DR: don’t call me while I’m in vacation.

My first fucking day off -Monday, 8 am, sleeping like there was no tomorrow.

My coworker calls me twice to take care of a support ticket (I’m not even in support) because in our fucking Swiss company there’s no fucking German speaker. Plus the client spoke perfectly English.

Fuck you, you even had the courage to tell me I didn’t make any ticket in our system, when I already made An email to the lead of support explaining what you had to do.

So I spent half an hour calling Germany, do you pay my fucking phone bill? Nope. Plus it ended up being a problem for the NOC.

Sorry for all the fucks, but sometimes they’re necessary.

Just tried to install the english language pack for Visual Studio 2015 Enterprise (the thousands of bucks edition). Well... the setup displayed "DEU" for german and later tried to switch to "EN" resulting in "ENU". First WTF moment.

But what really killed me was the error message... please restart the PC BEFORE the installation? Just wow.

!rant
I want to present to you:

My new server closet!

It's called "SaaSBox" from a German meme. Pls don't rate my cable management 😂

It isn't finished jet there is missing an AP and a dedicated modem.

German banks in-app browsers in a nutshell

Omg how stupid some people are... Today at my university I used the first time one of the computers in the computer room and there is a portable Firefox installed in a shared space on the computer and that is also where it saved settings etc. So this is the same for every user on that particular computer.

And when I checked the security settings I found that about 10 different accounts were saved and accessible with website username and password.

So of course the shared space Firefox is bad, but you still shouldn't save you password on a public computer :S

PS: If anyone needs a webmail account or an account for the german university network contact me :P

I always feel odd when I hear about MongoDB. Cuz mongo is a German curse word for someone with down syndrom...

Hi guys,

Im a Software Engineer from Germany. I've just heard that delevopers are much better paid in the US compared to Europe. In Europe/Germany i would get about 40k a year as Somebody who just finished university(bachelor degree). Can somebody confirm that ? You dont have to Post your exact income :P just Let me know if that's True, because i am Thinking about going to Work in the US in a few Years ..maybe some of you have german Friends in the US it Industry ? :)

Thanks for the answers.

I just compiled my own kernel. It took me such a long time [because i'm a crackpot or because i'm german] that i'm not even a hint proud

That moment when you were finally able to make a plugin after 36 hours of frustration for a software with absolute shit docs and not many resources thanks partly to a small article (written in german which you had to translate) that you found lurking in the corner of web. 😌

Well, not necessary my favourite but the first one I learned.

I think the weird syntax and semantics combined with the ridiculous average length of variable names is a major flaw in this one.

When you are so into C# that you even speak it...

Translation:
Languages
- German
- English
- C Sharp

Finally on vacation.

As an American the first surprise I got in Berlin is that Burger King serves beer. Never seen that ever back home. (Okay I was in Denmark on a plane but it still was cool darn it)

I've been thinking for the year about working here, but now that I showed up the idea is scaring me a bit. Go figure. 😭

I want to see more of Germany beyond Berlin, what do our German natives like here?

German friends...

Thoughts on 1&1? I have tks now, it's painful. Telekom seems shady af, but I have their mobile plan.

I have no idea how to get unbiased info here, so i'm asking people who actually use the internet to work from home and do more than just surf Facebook and cat videos

My new favorite web framework

(Loom ≈ Web frame in German)

The 19th day each month is the German unofficial "tax payer day". Because we start working for our own salary, not for taxes...

Happened today in CS class. Involves some German, but I will try to translate and make the joke clear.

Important: My CS teacher is a bald guy and is quite incompetent at times. My CS class would always make fun of him when he failed to perform a simple task, like turning on a projector and connecting his tablet to it.
Today was one of those days when he desperately tried to figure something out, but failed. He exclaimed in German: “Verdammt nochmal, ich krieg nen Fön hier!“ (Literal translation: “God damnit, I’m getting a a hairdryer [a german expression of frustration]”.

A fellow student: “Well, not that you really need a hairdryer.”
(He’s bald.)

!rant

Do any German Devs on here have a good example Arbeitszeugnis?

One of my previous employers basically said "write your own and we'll sign it".

I've never seen one, I'm not a native speaker and from what I understand there are a lot of subtleties to be careful of.

I'm done with all my exams, I'm especially relieved about German

Vielen Dank für ihre Wünsche!

Is it just me or has german tv become more and more ad-ridden? A few years ago it was considered a dick move to play a single ad during an episode.
Now some channels continue the tv program but make it smaller so they can show an ad on the sides. And whenever i switch to the most popular channels i get an overlay that is basically an ad too.

I switched to livestreams and web-based tv for a reason, and that's because tv ads get more intrusive with every year. And don't get me started on the bullshit that smart tv's do nowadays, by that i mean sending data home.
I can't wait for tv to die out or to be replaced by an ip-based protocol just like telephones did.

Mgmt decided to start making technical documentation, which was nice. Then they said we have to do it in German because apparently everyone in the world speaks German.

Rebooting a german #ICE.

Seriously? Using umlauts in an URL?

You realize that the ERP software you use at your company is shit when:
- there is no service-side ERP backend handling requests
- the whole permission system is client-side (!)
- every client directly connects to the MSSQL database with a supervisor user (stored in plain text in a local config file)
- the MSSQL database contains tables with:
- typos
- names like "contract" but then also "contracts"
- mixed german and english words
- the multiple-business-unit implementation uses 4 columns named "Layer 1, Layer 2, Layer 3, Layer 4" in EACH table
- you find out that the ERP software is created with a fucking "software creation tool"
- there is no API, so you have to program one yourself to use for services

Yet, they charge us shit ton of money for their broken ass software.

Not really a rant about coding itself, but it's a rent, I'm a dev, so here ya go:

I have a German citizenship, but am living in Hungary temporarily. Also, I need internet. So I go to the website of UPC, register, order a package, etc. Just as I would do anywhere else....... Except for the fact , that they just called me that I should send them my passport, because they neither accept my German ID, my Hungarian registration card or anything else. I DON'T HAVE A PASSPORT YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! I LIVE IN THE EU, I DON'T NEED A PASSPORT!!

But the best part was when they told me I should just ask my mother to make the contract for me, because she does have a Hungarian citizenship. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!

!rant

Do you also sometimes have these nights in which you don't want to sleep but instead want to learn new stuff?

Right now I have one of these nights again and I have spent the last 1:20h watching a lecture by a German professor about cryptography. Man I can't wait to leave fucking highschool behind and go to university to learn stuff I am interested in.

I've been programming since 3rd grade.
Sometimes when I was talking to classmates etc. the theme programming came up.
When that was the case many said 'I can program btw' and because I don't know many programmers irl I always was like 'That's really cool! What programming language?'.
And the reply was always either 'Don't know' or 'German' (I am german).
Like wtf, you 'don't know'?
And you should know that 'German' is NOT a programming language.
It is a language, you stupid fuck.
Don't try to flex on me by saying that you can program if you can't even tell me a single programming language.
IF you want to flex, at least learn the names of about 2 or 3 languages and memorize how you can write a hello world program in these languages.
Or really learn programming.
It's like saying 'Hey, I got a really cool PC today' and when someone asks what specs the PC has you reply 'A Samsung Galaxy S9'.
See, it's STUPID and REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING.
So either GO FUCKING LEARN PROGRAMMING or FUCK OFF

German saying:
Die Hälfte seines Lebens
wartet der Admin vergebens.

means in English:
The Admin waits in vain for half of his life.

15 minutes delayed because whatever...

+30 minutes waiting for the next train, because my train stopped early because there was no AC and it were 38 degrees Celsius

+30 minutes, train I was changed to was delayed

Train I was changed to only had snacks to offer because they haven’t got water

+60 minutes on this train because, well why not

„We wish you had a pleasant journey“: notification pops while I’m still 2 hours in...

Yeah fuck off...

Fucking german computer science classes

You get a few UML structograms and have to finish a half finished project. It's the most boring way to learn programming ever. Instead of giving us a task or a project to work on, it's literally translating UML to C#.

Is this what one is gonna do later as a software dev?

On one side I fucking hate waiting for the internet technician. I would've liked to go to work (especially as there is an event right now) and not sit here during "That-5-hour-window-because-scheduling-isn't-a-thing-the-german-Telekom-will-tell-you-about" and nurse my impatience.
On the other side, I have idle time and I like programming when everything's quiet in the house and only the heating and my PC cooling system are whirring quietly, so I've got that going for me which is nice.
Only too bad there's no internet right now.

German mobile carriers are the worst in the whole world: if you are not in a big city like Munich, Berlin etc the internet is literally not working (E everywhere c'mon)

And I didn't even mention the public wifi (login sucess rate: 1℅)

After Kosovo - Serbian war (1999) ended, we did end up with absolutely nothing and a German KFOR soldier surprised me with an old Windows machine, and that day I got hooked.

My hacktoberfest t-shirt was delivered yesterday and so I wore it today.

People asked me if it had something to do with minced meat because of the German word 'hackfleisch'.

!rant

Last Week I wrote a english Test ( im German ) In the Test I was asked to translate (cast) "gips" into english. I didnt remember the Word so I thought to myself "I wish i could just CAST the german Word into english"

Now I know the Word...

I changed my default search engine to DDG for some weeks to try something new. Sadly I must say that it isn't for me. At least not in the company I work. Reason is: we use a German CMS with most Forum posts written in German and I noticed really fast that Google just gives me much better results on specific issues.

Are you guys happy with DDG?

FUCKING HELL.

It's already enough that this FUCKING API I have to work with is a mess of JSON and XML responses mixed together.
With mixed german and english keys and attributes all sprinkled over it.
And API access locked to Austria only for some reason.

And then they even manage to fuck up the little bit of JSON they use.

It's just a fucking array of strings (where one could easily use integers).

They can stick this fucking steaming pile of shit that they call API up their PHP infested assholes.

I hate web development sometimes.

Thank god there are (web) proxies.
The Turkish government is blocking access to many porn sites (which I find kind of ok - to make a barrier for the kids), but then again also German Streaming websites.
They are not blocking most German websites tho. Just the websites in the "illegal to non ethical" category (which I also find kind of OK), but it annoys me.

!rant
A friend of mine got this piece of gold, im so curious to read it tomorrow at work!
(He bought it in a german store called "Kaufland")

Not exactly a dev enemy, but similar.
A new radiation protection regulation has been in force in Germany since 2019. October I finished a super duper important document for this and this has been with the TÜV ever since. First there is nothing happening and then there are allegedly inconsistencies in it, which, however, all of which were due to shoddy work with the "expert."

There is a german word for this type of person: Krümelkacker.
He faults every little thing in side-by-page letters, causes long delays, and in the end is often wrong.
But I have to work with him -.-