I HATE PROGRAMMING !!
I HATE PROGRAMMING !!
I HATE PROGRAMMING !!

*Compiled successfully with no errors or warnings*

I LOVE PROGRAMMING !!
I LOVE PROGRAMMING !!
I LOVE PROGRAMMING !!

I just answered honestly to an “anonymous” survey of my workplace. If I don’t get laid off in the next 3 months, then I’ll believe it’s truly anonymous.

1. Enter site

*YOU MUST DISABLE UR ADBLOCK TO USE THIS SITE*

2. Exit site

You think you're gonna fuck with me and force me to waste my time disabling adblock refreshing the site so i can browse your shitty site? No I'll just go ahead and open the next website that provides the same information and better yet doesn't force me to disable my adblock. Finding alternative site with same information like yours is abundant and much faster than me wasting my time disabling adblock. Fuck you

If your application cannot fully function in a development environment, with the excuse that certain functionalities can only be executed in production, the reason is that your system is a huge piece of shit.

I want to vomit everytime rich people in upper management says stupid shit like "working for money in this company is a sin. Work for higher reason"

Hello, if only I get paid as much as you earn just by talking random nonsense in every meeting, I would be glad sharing the same shit quote like that to other employees in the company.

I have spent 20 minutes explaining to a contractor how to stage a file in git and what a filepath is.

It's moments like this where I stop worrying about my job security

There's this guy who randomly make sexual remarks. Not the usual guy's talk kind sexual remarks, but more of "I am going to rape this girl infront of her boyfriend and her father " kind of remark. Also he sexual harassed women coworker like take video of them in the toilet.

What we did was gathering every rape case possible (which is not related to him, but somehow the victims don't know who the rapists were) , all the evidence of him taking nude video of girls and report to police . We launch the statement that "maybe" the rapist was this phallus.

And the authorities got his arse and tracked. Well he asked for it.

Always remember "with great power of boasting bullshit, comes with a fat shit of consequences". The difference between the actual Spiderman and this phallus is that Spiderman think with his senses and shoot webbings from his wrist, but this phallus don't have any actual thought involve and shoot webbings from his micropenis.

I resigned after that.

I quit and my last day is next week.

Apparently management has decided that I should spend my last day implementing a new feature for a customer where I have been the only developer, and release it to production (without first implementing it in test) the same day. A feature that potentially could cripple a whole workflow if done wrong.

Of course I advised not to release untested code to production on a friday, just before the only person that knows how it works leaves the company. But no, “the customer reaaaaaally wants it before summer, so just be careful not to write any bugs”.

I’m not saying that I’m intentionally gonna write bad code - but if I do, I’m not gonna pick up the phone when it calls.

PM in daily: your turn. what have you done yesterday?

me: so i finished my PR for feature x and now i'm only waiting for review feedback there, so i can close this ticket today if no major rework is required-

PM: this is not what i asked, i don't want to know what you did, i want to know what was done.

me: uhh... okay, also i started working on task x
[note: task x, a task per definition involving a large amount of research, was very coarsly defined and it wasn't even clear to the PM what he exactly expects from me, and we agreed that the scope needs to be refined in the process],
so as a first step, i started doing some general investigations to get an overview of the topic and learn about concepts a and b-

PM: again, i don't want to know what you did, i want to know what was done.

me: okay well, i have DONE basic research on topic xy and collected information-

PM: this still does not answer my question, what's the deliverable?

me: ...so uhhh.... i read papers? i researched info online and collected and prepared information and links in a presentation which i'm also planning to present to the team-

PM: okay, can you please split your jira task in subtasks so everyone knows exactly what you're working on? otherwise we have no idea what you're doing.

for fuck's sake, shut up. just shut up

Going reverse in time

Just wasted 2 hours of my life looking through my colleagues code because he decided to build it at the last moment, install it at customer, and then take the day off.

If he had just started the project he would have seen it crash.

I hate people who don't test their own shit

Somebody put milk in the tea kettle.

To be entirely fair, I'm sure nobody from here has ever seen a kettle, let alone used one.

Behold. The kiki iceberg.

Manager: So great news, we will also be building a new app this year!!

Dev: We only have 2 devs and we already struggling to maintain/build our current portfolio of applications. I don’t think we have the resources to support another.

Manager: Nonsense, this is a very small project management app that was requested by the CEO himself!

Dev: …We already have MS project, why can’t they just use that?

Manager: The executive team isn’t interested in learning MS Project, it’s way too complicated. They want us to build an internal version of MS Project one feature at a time so they can pick it up over time instead of getting overwhelmed with learning MS Project all at once. It also needs to have loads of customizable automation features so leadership doesn’t ever have to get “in the weeds” having to work with it. It needs to basically run itself!

Dev: …What about this is small?

Manager: Well that is the requirement.

Dev: …

Oh, as a noob dev my team was using a dropdown library for our filters in the website. The code was messed up cause they kept changing the design halfway through dev and after releases and then finally after some releases, the client wanted multilevel options as a new requirement.
So I scrapped the whole thing and made my own multilevel dropdown component (there were no decent libraries then) and we used that from then on. It has many issues now that I look back (who cares about keyboard interaction right?). But that is a refactor for another day.

💙💛 oopsie

I see so many freaking excel sheets where a database should have been used that I wouldn't be surprised if, at the veeeeery bottom of all things, the entire global financial system runs based on a single excel sheet made by a dude in the 90s. And since then poorly maintained.

31st December 2016, I had signed up for devRant.

It's my cake day today. Feels so good to be part of this community, have learned so much, made some of the greatest friends here.

2021 was a mind fuck. Taxing and draining. Very little growth and even less learnings.

I realised that I am in a toxic environment.

Lately, no philosophy, therapy, supplements, activity, work, etc. has been helping me to get back to my original self.

I used to spiral down with a lot of negative self talk and playing the victim card.

Just day before yesterday, I decided to listen to some affirmations on the Tube and that actually helped me bounce back.

I started socialising and stepping out to attend gigs and just be outdoors as much as I could.

My surroundings changed and so did my thought process.

Hence, I made a decision to continue affirmations and slowly change my surroundings, even if that demand domestic relocation.

Things are starting to look positive after a long, loooooong, time.

I also need more sun exposure for my vitamin D3 deficiency and steady dose of serotonin.

I feel lot clear in head and heart. My goals are clearer and I am ready to start working hard and be my original past self again.

I love you all and I really wish you all achive all your wishes and dreams, be happier and healthier in 2022 with ton of success and money.

That moment when you're trying your damnedest to concentrate at work but all the info is just going in one eye and out the other ear

Oh dear god, not again!

Why, why can't we start the week on a different day?

So True...

Recruiter: Hi, i'm recruiting for xyz, your profile looks like a great fit. Would you be interested in discussing further?

Me: Hi, your company website says you only have an office location in Berlin. I've marked my profile as not interested in relocation, only interested in jobs in my country and said the same in my description. Are you expanding to my country?

Recruiter: You are correct, this role is based in AMAZING Berlin. Are you interested in relocating?

Me:

Previous front end dev apparently was not aware of padding and margin.

The html is riddled with &nbsp; and <br>

Shoot me now

David Guetta is the shit, there I said it

I would give myself so much shit for this.

Sales cloud architect, if I needed the money.

I give sales so much shit, like you've got no idea how much shit. I almost lost my job because I called the sales team at my job "soulless husks of meat and sin".

It's not an easy job but damn I was really fucking good at it.

If money was no problem, I would probably become a restoration artist.

I love to restore old homes, furniture, tvs, radios, etc.

Handing in my resignation letter on April 1st, but then actually leaving.

Not really a prank, that's something I genuinely feel like doing nowadays.

Fuck you fucking piece of self taught shit. Self taught my ass you dont even know how to use git or how to use modern IDE. You dont even know how to use debugger. You dont read other peoples code because you are an arrogant kid who thinks that everybody elses code is trash. Yet after couple days when you need to work on your own code you usually rewrite entire fucking thing because of how fucked up your spaghetti implementations are. Even worse you dont even know fucking english so documentation is useless to you unless I dumb down everything for you and spoon feed you like a 5 year old. Motherfucker you cant even stick to a proper work schedule, you go to sleep at 7am and wake up at 18.00 and I have to fucking work overtime because Im blocked by your spaghetti code. Fuck you fucking self taught arrogant piece of shit who never ever worked as a dev profesionally yet you have the nerve to feel cocky.

I got a job offer today, and I think that finally, I've found a perfect job for me.

"Hi,
I'm looking for a Full *Stuck* Java Developer..." 😂

Sorry Facebook recruiters, I don't think I can work for a company that has all the information that would likely prevent me from getting a job in the first place.

When I joined devRant 4 years ago, still in University, every other rant here seemed so high level.

Now that I'm in the industry for a little more tha. 2 years, every other rant seems University level xD