PM approves all UI and project gets assigned to me. He then makes tons of UI changes that will affect the workflow of the approved UI. To this point, code was clean and well documented. I request a few days to re arrange the code to reflect the new workflow. PM says: I need a minimal product. I don't need it clean. I want speed to ship and start marketing. That's where I stopped caring.. To the next dev, I am terribly sorry..

You know those alcohol breathalyzers they put on cars when you drunk drive?

Putting those on our VCS server.

I wrote a web crawler to find a few problems on my company's blog. I accidentally DOS'd the peice of shit with a single thread. Fuck WordPress.

MOTHERFUCK. FUCKING WINDOWS DID IT AGAIN TABARNAK!

Today, I was hoping to study some DB optimization for an exam tomorrow. How foolish of me to think that MOTHERFUCKING FUCKTARD WINDOWS WOULD NOT CHOOSE THIS EXACT MOMENT TO INSTALL THE FUCKING ANNIVERSARY UPDATE. Because it di. It took 2 hours to insert it's fucking update in my ass. FUCK.

I don't know why devs would choose to work for the devil, but for those who did create this update system, I HOPE YOU STEP ON LEGO BRICKS AND THAT YOUR AUDIO IS ALWAYS OUT OF SYNC WITH YOU VIDEO ON NETFLIX.

Wanna know about hacks? I'll tell you. There is a peace of software called SugarCRM. It has OAuth2 provider implementation. I was assigned to write OAuth2 consumer for it.
It turned out they just failed to make it right.
The list of hacks:
* Hack on standard Authentication header. They use custom.
* Hack on "scope". They send null which is standard violation. So it is replaced to empty string before response processing starts.
* This is my favorite. Refresh token simply doesn't work. So we need to store user's credentials in memory to be able to reauthenticate user transparently.

And then my lecturer said JSON and XML are the same thing.

After watching US Presidential Debates, I've understood where that Gnome vs KDE thing came from.

Spent an hour debugging a super simple ajax post. Was 100% sure that everything was correct, I could echo the id that I wanted to delete, got no error but still the little shit was in the database. Turns out it was no echo, it was an die() right before the query...

if someone dedicates sometime, even if it is fucking 30 seconds to share knowledge with you, appreciate it !! fuck! I hate presenting KTs !!

Using a button as a canvas on windows forms

C#

Had to demo i18n working to client with 45m notice..

Google translate the whole page server side and pray CSS behaves.

Forgot about arrays and used eval to call a function. Woke up the next day like "wtf did I do"

99 little bugs in the code, 99 little bugs. Take one down, and patch it up, 127 little bugs in the code.

During some late coding I started wondering why on earth someone beamed a headlight through my window, until I realized it was the sun...

I got a lot of stuff done though
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

When it's weekend and you can spend more time on your personal projects but then you realize that an annoying family member is celebrating his birthday tomorrow

That feeling when you spent all day debugging you js code because it continually times out in aws lambda and right before going home you figure out it was running perfectly, but rds was blocking the connection from aws and allowing it from your local computer...

So close to getting a stress ball, it's making me stressed. The irony is unreal.

To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.

That time when the IT guy for your client company email you asking if we need to change code of their web based system cause they got new printer.

He forwarded the question from users like he didn't know the users needed to select a new printer or change their default printer.

God knows what he's doing there!!

parents every day: "how can you drink that much coffee and not die??"

Working with javascript with java experience is like 'really? you can summon the method from no where and you have one and only god var? ' I'm feeling so insecure.

Read the welcome/thank-you DevRant letter countless times. Didn't even get it yet.

When you really need to wake up

//rant
When you make a mobile game and hope it gets downloads but you suck at marketing.. fml

FUCK... THIS WAS JUST THE WORST WEEK I'VE EVER HAD IN MY JOB. LITERALLY WANNA JUST THROW MY DESK TO MY BOSS AND THEN CLEAN HIS BLOOD WITH HIS LAPTOP COMPONENTS AND THEN SELL THEIR ORGANS TO THE BLACK MARKET, USE THAT MONEY TO BUY A MACHINE GUN AND USE IT AGAINST THAH GODAMN CLIENT...

Sometimes I get self conscious about saying it too often

University student complains he has to study about Linux in our operating systems class...

When I come back to my old code and see how I was using that framework

Sales Advisor: "4GB is more on a mac.. they use different measurements.."... at that point I gave up trying to get some info out of him

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#codingjokes