When you have a programmer girlfriend 😁😁

me: you know windows xp?
barber: say no more.

Based on popular demand, we're proud to introduce a basic image repost detector on devRant!

Right now it uses very simple hashing to see if an exact copy of an image was posted recently. If it was, then we display an error and we don't allow the image to be posted.

This is experimental so if you experience any issues with it please let me know.

Dear Apple,
WHY DA FUCK DO I HAVE TO DOWNLOAD 4+ GB EVERY SINGLE TIME I HAVE TO UPDATE X-FUCKING-CODE? A goddamn patch would be more than sufficient.

When back-end engineers get excited about something.

I only went and left my god damn bag on the train with my work laptop in it (2016 Macbook Pro, started this job 2months ago...). Now I have to get up at 5 fucking 30 am to make a 5 hour round trip to collect it while making up a BS excuse to WFH, or more accurately - work from some cafe in a random city 200 miles away. FML

try {
♥️
}
catch(e) {
🍺
}

#happyvalentinesday

When artists think they are better than programmers.. Can't draw circles indeed, but after 3 days of learning blender I've managed to make that without a tut..

We have 1 client that refuses to put a title in every email she sends.

It is very annoying that you have to open every email to know what the email is about.

How hard can it be to add a title because she always write a book in the email.

A few months ago I was working on a (totally underpaid project) where my friend and I had to basically rewrite the entire program our client was using.

So we started planning and wrote all sorts of documentation to show the client our ideas for the new flow of the program, the new structure of the GUI and a few more details of what would the inner workings of the new app. He seemed to like all those ideas and gave us the green light to go through with the project and start coding.

We spent a couple of months coding, redoing the front end from scratch (with a different framework even, so I couldn't reuse any code from the old version) and completely redesigning the back end so it would be better, faster, more scalable etc etc etc. During this process, we obviously showed the progress of the app to our client, explaining everything we had been doing, and he seemed to like every new version we showed him.

When we were in one of the last stages in development (basically sending versions of the app to the client for evaluation), the guy suddenly changed his mind. After agreeing on everything we had been showing him over the last months, he sent an email saying:

"...the new system makes the app too complicated. I want this program to be as simple to use as possible; so we should revert the "Policy" system to essentially what it was in the last major version. The only change I want to make is [...] and everything else is essentially the same as the last Policy system."

So basically he wanted us to FUCKING UNDO EVERYTHING WE HAD DONE AND REVERT THE FUCKING PROGRAM TO THE FUCKING VERSION HE HAD BEFORE HIRING US!!!! WHAT THE FUCK????

YOU WANTED US TO CHANGE YOUR APP AND THEN YOU SUDDENLY CHANGE YOUR MIND AFTER 3 FUCKING MONTHS WHEN THE PROCESS IS DONE???

GO FIND A SWORDFISH TO FUCK YOU IN THE ASS, IM NOT WORKING FOR YOU ANYMORE

God, it feels good to let that out.

Writing raw SQL queries is honestly a lot of fun if you have unrestricted access to interesting data.

Man I'm boring...

"my app is so awesome you don't even have to close it, it crashes itself automatically. "

-Laughed at Gitlab the other day
-Accidentally dropped my db today.

fuck karma

AMD is back :D

8.8.8.8 it is then!

"Hey, I need a website making.."
FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF.

"I can't believe you're turning away work.."
As if I don't have enough shit to deal with without this douchebag.

"exactly like Facebook, but..."

(customer "spec" for a new web)

// dirty hack. fix soon.

"git has stopped working"

"Like Facebook, but better"

What to click?

In the server room, no one can hear you scream.

I hate this image - things in 2 states weird me out

If you ever feel useless remember, Samsung has it's own App store

Totally agreed.

Preface: This client, let's call him dickhead, is running a successful brick-and-mortar based business in one of the top cities of the world. He is highly qualified in a non-IT field.

Rant: This son of a shitbag things he knows everything because he can search on Google, has a degree, owns an expensive business, and of course has money. Does not listen to my suggestions on which framework to use, how to integrate stuff, etc. because he thinks he is the fucking father of Linus Torvalds, and Linus built Linux kernel out of his super-intelligent sperm.

But that titbag can't understand the simple fact that he has spent the last 2 fucking years building stupid websites which he thought from his brain located alongside his balls. None of those websites are in the condition to launch, forget making a difference. Primary reason being using wrong frameworks for wrong purpose, but his half-assed brain can't understand this.

I thought the antenna actually did something... nevermind

Dang bullies got to my stress ball 😢

I'm pretty sure Shakespeare didn't say that.

Worst realisation of myself when I was a greenhorn dev? Nobody gives a f***ing damn of what you achieve as a software developer. For them you're just the uncool nerd - end of story. That's where I just stopped having any conversations about my job at all... unless it's with other devs.