alias wow="git status"
alias such="git"
alias very="git"

Result:

$ wow
$ such commit
$ very push

Answer: Very Slowly!

The Programmer's Circle... :-D

"I don’t care if it works on your machine! We are not shipping your machine!" - Ovidiu Platon

The rant starts here

Trying to explain my wifi network name to every new guest.

#dotamuch 😋

Oh yeah, that's an awesome 404 page, what do you guys say?

P.S. - Page is not developed by me, it's MailChimp

The game 'Factorio' should be required gaming experience for all programmers. Best way I've ever seen to learn load balancing and how to break down complex operations into smaller, manageable operations.

"I'm going to cram you so full of asynchronous JavaScript and malware throttling that your gonna be crapping cipher text" - Simpsons S27E10

Rashly say to a web developer colleague that you'd quite like to learn to code. Feel too awkward to decline the subsequent invitation. Meet for coffee, discuss basics. Understand nothing. Go home and Google extensively. Start trying code out at home. Cry. Swear. Make a thing that does a thing. Try to make another thing. Fail. Give up. Try again. Start an online tutorial. Work through said online tutorial. Start contributing on Github. Discuss Laravel. Play with Laravel. Set out your own Laravel project. Get engaged to the colleague who said they'd teach you. Get sent a technical test. Stare at the test blankly for days on end. Have an idea. Try to implement the idea. Cry some more, swear some more. Enjoy it. Get hooked. Hate it. Enjoy it. Finish it. Stare at the screen in amazement and wonder what has gone wrong because you are getting the result you were expecting. Rinse, repeat.

Um.. Ok. *click*

My Duck told me to give back to the community 😎

Girlfriend: hey, wake up.
Me: Error this interface has no audio input mode. The normal process can continue without audio.

Girlfriend: You aren't even coding.
Me: The interface was running without audio when interrupted. The behavior for audio is undocumented.

Girlfriend: I just want to know if you want to unplug your headphones.

Me: **wearily recalls most people don't refer to sleep as an interface**

I just started playing around with machine learning in Python today. It's so fucking amazing, man!
All the concepts that come up when you search for tutorials on YouTube (you know, neural networks, SVM, Linear/Logic regression and all that fun stuff) seem overwhelming at first. I must admit, it took me more than 5 hours just to get everything set up the way it should be but, the end result was so satisfying when it finally worked (after ~100 errors).
If any of you guys want to start, I suggest visiting these YouTube channels:
- https://youtube.com/channel/...
- http://youtube.com/playlist/...

My dog learning nodejs.

I feel awkward when my boss is creeping behind. Of course, I can switch the screen in a hurry, but such behavior is suspicious, and sometimes I don’t notice him. So, in order to switch the screen without being suspected, I create a system that automatically recognizes that he is approaching to me and hides the screen.

https://github.com/Hironsan/...

Source: http://ahogrammer.com/2016/11/...

When you take User Experience to the next level. Just what I was thinking

Credits : Riot App

Gotcha

For the NSA guys out there :p

NSA: Hey, its looks like you a bit lonely
Me: Yeah sort of

CIA: (Retrieves list of facebook friends), why not hook up with these people
Me: Not interested

FBI: The girl across your room seems to be interested in you
Me: Nah not interested

CIA: We can send someone to keep you company if you want
Me: thanks, not interested

NSA: A girl winked at you at the cafe yesterday
Me: Didn't notice

CIA: What of the lady you spoke to on the phone earlier
Me: Too old

FBI: Can you please move your webcam to the left a little
Me: Bruuuuuhhhhhh!!!

Me : I need to give Tom a wash.

GF (Smashed table, angrily) : Tom is your Keyboard, stop giving everything a name.

Me : you hurt poor George!

Showering at a geeks house!

I'll start implementing this in my apps too.

How to properly have fun on a Saturday night:

1. Suddenly become deeply unsatisfied with current linux distro

2. Evaluate alternatives

3. Decide some change is needed but not too much: install fresh version of old distro

4. Once again, experience profound dissatisfaction

5. Opt for radical change

6. Erase all linux partitions, form a super partition and install a new linux distro on it

7. Spend hours familiarising with the new distro

8. Spend more hours googling stuff and typing commands in the terminal

9. Download current devRant avatar, send it to the PC via Telegram and set it as user's avatar for the welcome screen

10. Feel deeply satisfied

11. Accidentally wake girlfriend up while trying to get to bed. Get told off for staying up until 4am and for "being such a nerd"

Let's clarify:
* Github is not Git
* Android is not Java
* Unit test is not TDD
* Java is not OOP
* Docker is not Devops
* Jenkins is not CI
* Agile is not institutionalised total chaos
* Developer is not Printer Support

Found this in the source of http://brm.io/matter-js/ Gonna put this in all HTML pages I write from now on.

We feel you bro...

Silicon Valley Season 4 is coming on HBO in April...

Its one of my favs when it comes to series...
What do you watch? Except Mr. Robot

Don't we all love a sophisticated chat bot?

"There are no viruses on Linux :D" proudly says Jhonny when asked why is it better than Windows, just minutes after having run a script he downloaded on the internet, feeling superior because `sudo`ing it gave him "so much freedom".