Updated description!
Fuck Wordpress in the ass with a new kind of cms. Make devs happy with clean code. And Laravel

So a friend of Mine asked me to check their Mail server because some emails got lost. Or had a funny signature.

Mails were sent from outlook so ok let's do this.

I go create a dummy account, and send/receive a few emails. All were coming in except one and some had a link appended. The link was randomly generated and was always some kind of referral.

Ok this this let's check the Mail Server.

Nothing.

Let's check the mail header. Nothing.

Face -> wall

Fml I want to cry.

Now I want to search for a pattern and write a script which sends a bunch of mails on my laptop.
Fuck this : no WLAN and no LAN Ports available. Fine let's hotspot the phone and send a few fucking mails.

Guess what? Fucking cockmagic, no funny mails appear!

At that moment I went out and was like chainsmoking 5 cigarettes.

BAM!

It hit me! A feeling like a unicorn vomiting rainbows all over my face.

I go check their firewall. Shit redirected all email ports from within the network to another server.

Yay nobody got credentials because nobody new it existed. Damn boy.

Hook on to the hostmachine power down the vm, start and hack yourself a root account before shit boots. Luckily I just forgot the credentials to a testvm some time ago so I know that shit. Lesson learned: fucking learn from your mistakes, might be useful sometimes!

Ok fucker what in the world are you doing.

Do some terminal magic and see that it listens on the email ports.

Holy cockriders of the galaxy.

Turns out their former it guy made a script which caught all mails from the server and injected all kind of bullshit and then sent them to real Webserver. And the reason why some mails weren't received was said guy was too dumb to implement Unicode and some mails just broke his script.

That fucker even implented an API to pull all those bullshit refs.

I know your name "Matthias" and I know where you live and what you've done... And to fuck you back for that misery I took your accounts and since you used the same fucking password for everything I took your mail, Facebook and steam account too.

Git gut shithead! You better get a lawyer

Fuck you devrant, pseudo funny remotely devrelated things get more upvotes than juicy outbursts of rage

I need a site with seo and advertisement.

The page should make about 750€ per month. I will only pay after site is complete and pays out.

You will get 150€

If(foo ==exactlyTheValueThatBreaksCodeForNoReason) { return }

My first boss. He sat next to me yelling “Think before you code“, “Hands away from the keyboard“ and stuff like that at me while doing my first few codings ever. He even made me cry from the pressure. Afterwards he bought me a muffin and told me he wants me to be a better programmer than he ever was

My brother just called me asking for help in some MS server thing and I'm like "I don't know that!" (I really don't), and he replied "Yeah, you know, mom told me to call you to ask for help.". Jesus Christ. Just because I'm in CS it doesn't mean I know everything informatics-related.
I now know your pain, devRanters. I usually don't mind being the IT support (so much that my parents call me to help them when their computers decide to randomly die or do something weird because of something they've done, but I live like 300km away because of uni so I can't just go there and help them. Sometimes I say "Ask your son" (he's taking a tech course in high school), but my brother cuts out of it like "I don't know how to fix it" without even looking at it sometimes. Well duh, me neither at times, but google is your friend damn it. Sometimes I search for the answers. Other times I just poke around in the program until I find what's wrong. Either way, when I say I don't know and/or I can't really do much about it they give me the usual "We're paying your uni fees for what?" (in a joking tone but. I'M NOT STUDYING FOR THAT, I WANNA BE A GAME DEV DAMN IT)), but goddamn it I don't know everything just because I am a CS student. I wanna help but sometimes I can't. Deal with that >:V

Found a private api key on a github project. Created a pull request with key changed to “TH1S5HOULDB3SECR3T!iMBECIL5“ comment was “security fix“ i wonder if they accept

This is dedicated to all Webdevs, especially those WordPress fanboys.

I was reflecting on some things since I do more frequent freelance jobs at the time. And I have to admit: people are fucking crazy.

I had some serious talk with customers and some serious talk for people I work as subsidiary.

The average customer thinks a nice webpage costs I'm 9-50 bucks. They got some shitty Webhosting for 1-5$/month including domain and think they are set.

They have unclear visions about what they actually want, it all boils down to "I like the design". I made a page for someone who just posted images, no text nothing and I told him a trillion times NEEDS some text, even a fucking picture description would be sufficient, else he'll never score anything at google.

Ofc it got denied, now he's bitching how nobody finds the site when they google his name. The other thing is that Wordpress became the solution for everything.

I'm a fucking certified magento developer and I hate magento with a passion. Magento is an overabstracted clusterfuck and believe me, I did the certification I had to learn more than average about the core. But damn, don't slap woocommerce on everything.

Narrowninded fucktards, the cheap out of the box solution isn't always the best.

Don't cry if you got hacked because you were too dumb to upgrade your wordpress. Don't tell me to do some "enhancements" on a server you probably share with 100 other uses. I can't fix your Webserver with your shitty ftp account.

I also hate WordPress with a burning passion. Cum guzzling cavetroll it is. It has it usages, but don't rely on a core So small every kind of extra functionality has to somehow tinkered on it and then expect it to work flawlessly and for 10$ price.

Of course you can buy a theme that, if it would have been special made for you cost 800$ or more, but it wasn't. It just looks like it from the outside. If you want customization you are at the mercy of the option it provides. I can't even tell how many times i spent whole evenings explaining how their shiny template works. Just to do some crazy shit with JavaScript like rearranging domelements because it didn't work as expected.

I still stay to my word. Nothing great has been nor will be created with a Wordpress core. Don't tell me how some great stuff has been achieved. Or wait, please do so. But before you do think about if that wouldn't been faster, cheaper, more reliable , etc... if done with a framework like symphony or laravel... or even zend or cake.

And that brings me back to the point:
Is cheap and "out of the box" really what you need and desire? As customer and as developer?

Best licence ever

I fucking hate python and myself even more. Python is easy they say, Python has nice syntax but fuck you . Fuck you seriously I cringe if I see non-c-like syntax. Every time I leave my comfort zone I get fucked over by damn semicolons. Fuck this imports i don't know your damn library. But god damn In far too advanced for hello world. There are two versions and the lib I want to use is incompatible? Well fuck me? That kind of shit never hit me on PHP. Damn me! Fuck you python. I want to know you but you fuck me harder than life. GEHÖRT? DU FICKST MICH HÄRTE ALS DAS LEBEN DU HURENSOHN!!!!

What is even your problem? Indentation? Well thank you for not having braces! I mean come on I try, I really do. I know you are different but every thing I want to learn about you is either for uber beginners or so advanced I don't even know what's going on. Do magical shit in a few lines? What the fuck is in those packages? A wizard full filling whishes like "plz make this work"?

But don't worry you cum snorting unicorn as much as I hate you I'm more mad about me for not being a descendant of fucking slytherin!

"Remove it i don't want it" - display: none !important;

I hate it when clients force me to fix their fucking magentos with crappy javascript fuckarrounds because the shop is already a huge pile of fuck with window resize events fucking up all onservers. 4 jquery includes all messed up fucking each other in a cum gobbling bukkake because you never know which jQuery, $j, jsm or jFuckYou is bound to which library. I know i have to spill my own fuck all over that fuck. Frontpage slider is raping the search results for slides leaving dead meat in the results foreever. Fuck your fucking fuck you fucking fucker.

I just told a colleague of mine, and worst programmer i got to know, to call me the alchemist.
Because I'm the one turning his shit to gold

A CMS raping WordPress so hard up the ass till there is no tomorrow. I hate that bastardized piece of fuck. “Hey I want you to fix my page and its wordpress. I pay 20 bucks.“ Well fuck you too sir. Wordpress is no cms you wanna be coders. Get back to your fucking photoshop and design something original! Every fucking wp page looks the same. Every “nice feature“ is some kind of monkeypatched workarround. No problem i set preview pictures for every post just to enable some weird slider to function.

I also love those buttfucked files with just a “require foo“ which also just requires “bar“. Drop that fuck. Implement autoloading. Nobody uses php4 anymore step into the future. “easy to learn“ fuck me and fuck you untill you vomit jizz! Clusterfucked spaghetticode thats easy, easy to put another rotten load of clusterfuck on top. Also those security features. I put an empty index.php to prevent directory traversal. N I C E! Stop using wordpress as CMS, its a blog engine. Nothing great has every been written on top of wordpress and never will. I dare you to deny everything related to it and if you are one of those designer guyd, you can gargle my jizz you fucknut!

Starting 2017 i will start a counter and rape every 10th Wordpress which gets abused as cms i encounter into oblivion on their 0,99$ webhosting shit.

Fuck this I'm so mad about that crap

Linux you are just the perfect OS in all terms but please do something for gamers. I cant keep on switching laptops for work and playing dota. Hell even the keyboard layout is like way different in both.

What is it with clients who have never even seen a single line of code in their entire lives telling me how long they believe a certain change request should take to code.

I mean, what if I told you that your "seemingly simple enough" change needed an update to 36 class files, 9 oracle stored procedures AND several database schema changes. Also, who the fuck is going to perform a regression test to make sure I didn't break anything? Your Uncle Bob??

Pretty sure they were discussing technology while playing Dota.

Got that colorchanging cup from my girlfriend. I love her and the cup, but.the indentation infuriates me

Me: Why dosn't cp return an error code when the file in the first argument doesn't exist?

Coworker: Well, you copied a file that doesn't exist to a destination that also doesn't exist, sounds like a successful copy to me.

Starting next week I’m going to be a programming teacher.

Suck my nectar of wisdom!

Sometimes I think back to all the funny shit that happened and how simple stuff fucks everyone

- tired Database engineer deleting (not dropping, literally rm -rf) the database files on the wrong server

- Microsoft delivering viruses through updates

- Pissed and stubborn dev deleting his one line library repo which does something like removing a char left side of string fucking an unmeasurable amount of other projects

- Adobe getting hacked and exposed for storing passwords in plain texts

- a doubled line causing a bug called heartbleed in a fuckton of webservers

- a Tutorial Company getting kicked from github because their repo got so big github staff had to maintain the repo manually

- and an old one: bad code crashed a space shuttle

It could as well be windows..

Or steam..

Or dota..

Or whatsapp for android..

I copied with ctrl+c
I pasted with ctrl+v
I aborted with ctrl+c

On a windows cmd

Just trying to change a folder's name on the SD card on my phone... Whoops

I once got it to say "0 out of 100TB" or so. Jesus

“Never,never, never, NEVER eat raw userinput“

Referring to stuff like “insert into foo (bar) values ($_POST[username])“

I'm not usually one to spend much time on my phone but I have devRant for 1w now and I spend so much time on it (not to mention all the smiling and giggling some of the posts cause) it caused a colleague to ask it I got a boyfriend... 😅

Trying to explain my wifi network name to every new guest.

#dotamuch 😋

I asked a question at stackoverflow related to MySQL. I tried to explain everything a good as I could.

Now i go for a cigarette and expect a -5 when I come back....

Preface: My company took over another company. A week ago I inherited their IT.

"IT" !!!! Are you fucking kidding me?!

Their server stood at an ex employees homeoffice. So I drove to her and she had 0 idea about IT. Server was just "Running". I tore that fuck down and saw an aweful lot of Hentai in all home folders.

WTF?!

Not enough, their crm was a makroinfested access table. Shit was protected so I couldn't even edit the makros. The retarded fucktards hardcoded paths to serverside folder \\fuck\you\hard\cavetroll

Just so that server will never see the light of my domain! Damn you? Mothership of sisterfucking dickgirls!

Searching for a lib.
Find it on google code.
Moved to github.
No commit in 5 years.

TL; DR: please save me from IT hell

Note 1: this is a rant that comes after a couple other rants I'm going to call "family business saga" from now on because I feel like this is gonna go on for a while

Note 2: the following may look exaggerated but it's because of how pissed off I am at said person

So I have to help this one family member with his computer but he's worned me out so much last summer that I can't stand him (it's all tech based). At all. Both in person and via text calls. I dread and become pissy each time he's nearby, just his presence makes me want to jump in a hole and stay there for eternity.
And he's not the smartest cookie in the jar when it comes to tech, so he comes to me for help (instead of going to my brother. Aaagh why doesn't he go for my brother as well, it's mentally tiring having to "help" him - as he doesn't learn what I'm trying to teach him even after several attempts). I don't really mind being sought for help when it comes to tech, but this guy takes it one step further.
He entered my room with his computer in his hands saying this friend of his has installed W7 on his PC (why didn't he handle all the things he wants to do, it would save me a lot of anger containment) and that I *had* (it's always "YOU HAVE" because I'm a tech-ish person and I'm in uni for CS) to help him do a bunch of things.
So he boots up the thing and there are 32 updates to do, so I'm guessing that he didn't boot it up after the OS update until now. He leaves my room and I sigh out of relief. He comes back with the AC remote complaining it's too hot in my room and that he's gonna put it down a degree or 2. Jesus christ do not tamper with my AC settings, it's fine to me. The updates are still going on. He leaves again.
The computer takes its time to update and so does he. I'm happily playing minecraft when he comes back, the computer off after updating. He looks at it and says "why is it off?". I reply back "it finished updating.", trying to keep my cool. Even the most simple questions are irritation inducing.
He reboots it and lets it run. After it boots and it's ready to go he just stays there for like 2' without doing anything because the hard drive light was going off. I think he thinks the computer is going to explode if he touches it while the light is blinking 😬
He goes to connect the computer to the internet and gets all surprised that the computer doesn't recognize our home's internet (he has been here before with his computer, I guess, so he had connected, so I think he was expecting it to auto connect like that). I tell him that the computer doesn't recognize our home's connection because it has had a fresh OS installation and so it didn't have any connection registered. He types in the password and the connection is established.
He them starts going on about that he wants to get these pics on the business' website and how does he put them in his computer and all that. I do that for him and he's all like "how did you do that?? 😮" like it's a magic trick
And he's always going on at everything as if it's all a big undoable thing. "How do I do this? You know what, do it yourself and show me because I don't wanna fail". Dude. Bro. Everything - EVERYTHING - you are afraid of doing is undoable. EVERYTHING. Good christ.
I swear I've never felt so glad I'm going back for uni next week

Reasons I don't get sleeping time:
Student
Programmer
Football fan from Asia
DOTA player.

I'm starting to hate js. Every library needs atleast 1000 other libs. I just blew the node_modules folder to 100mb with just one npm require

I recently ranted so much about languages but here it goes

JS we need to talk. BECAUSE YOU GOT FAT AND UGLY STUPID BITCH! Dumb piece of bloatware. What even is your problem? Depending on a library for strpad and then blow up like Steve jobs ego. Bastardized fuckfest. I used to like you bro and then you screw me over!
It's like you fuck my wife while I try to fix your car. Why can't you even be usefully on your own anymore? I'd be richer than bill gates if I get a dollar for every damn framework people pull from their asses. Are you writing this fuck while shitting so you can compare colors of your outcome?

Normalize the fucking base, don't add to the bukkakke! bitch is drowning already. Why is everyone jerking of to react and angular? When have YOU written something in vanilla the last time? Why even bother? Remove the core and hardcore every damn framework into the browsers. Guess that saves you 200kb. Oh wait I forgot that's about unminified jQuery.

Now I need to load about 2GB of dependencies, some creating code that puts code in my code to load code out of my code which was generated out of something that remotely resembles JS so every browser is able to execute my fancy shit. But hey, it's fast. And of course there are the fanboys. You are worse than apple fags. You sample your own jizz with your friends in a wine glass. there was a Time it was bad practice to mix logic and view. Now you made it mandatory. "Browser does the rendering" ofc you imbecile pile of fuck don't show me a damn preloader for 1 picture and 20 lines of text. Who fucked your brain so hard?

So react seems to be the cool kid now, then I tell someone I know angular it's like showing up in a pikachu onsie to a formal dinner with the queen.

I used to love you girl. I loved how we could dirty things together. Now you are like a pig. Please loose weight bby the sight of you disgusts me nowadays

This made me laugh so hard

Another gold one.

But remember only 500€

Screw League of Legends incompetent devs. They implemented a anti cheat solution that prohibits linux (wine) and VM users to play the game. This is really stupid. Better learn to play dota now...

Hello world!

Bet no one came up with that beauty yet.

So i was contributing to this project on github with a dangerously close (self-assigned) deadline and my friends called me to play some DotA. Well, i can say i didn't let anyone down.

So my parents got speakers integrated into their monitor. A few years ago (like 3-4) they made me turn off the sound because it annoyed them since all they did were playing some shitty flash games and some office work. Now they needed the sound back on and this is how it happened.

1. Confirm they plugged the right cable in. I know them so I knew that could be a problem

2. Made them download Teamviewer because I know they can't even doubleclick without guidance

Now the juicy part was to tell them they need to turn on sound on the monitor. As I was watching via teamviewer I saw them trying to click on the menu items from said monitor. Took me 5 minutes to explain that their mouse can't do shit on that because they need to navigate with the buttons underneath the monitor.

Turned out they couldnt get things right and I had no idea what they were seeing because they explanations went like "All I can see is Main Menu and Exit." - "Is that really all dad?" "Yes thats all. Main Menu, Brightness and Exit" turnes out the middle part is interchangable like "Brightness, Saturation, etc..."

After 2 hours I gave up and told them to pick up my speakers tomorrow

“Commit“ sounds like the german “komm mit“(come with me).

NonDev coworker asked me what “Komm mitting“ is

Dualboot? I got them all

Linux (Mint)
Windows 10
OSX hackintosh

!rant

Hello dear fellow devs, I got some more nice ram and don't need those ram bars anymore. Write why you should receive them and they are on the way. For people outside germany you (unfortunatly) have to cover the shipping costs.

I tried vim for a few weeks. I almost used to it. But I didn't see how I could be more productive with it than with Visual Studio Code, at all, so I switched back. Maybe because I'm super fast with my mouse because of my 2500 hours of Dota. But knowing how to use vim is super useful when doing remote stuff via SSH. Nano too basic.

If I had a company. I would only accept code for application. Grades, gender, age... i couldn't care less

I changed my mind
-generic client

I never thought I'd see one of these myself...
Damn it Colombo get your act together :V
(Zara, Colombo Mall, Lisbon)

Create magic from void.... oh wait we even bend void to our will...

What's the best tool you didn't know you were missing, but could not work without it now

Rant

So a couple months ago, my dad called me to try and solve a problem he was having in his work.
You see, my dad owns a driving school and he was teaching 14 and 15yo kids how to ride mopeds and their theory exams are made in the school's facility, by going to this website of the entity that rules the moped teaching thing. When the time to have the exams came, they couldn't even see the exams and one of the kids had one of his attempts wasted (they had 3 attempts). We mailed and called the entity multiple times, to no avail, as they told us to "check the website, the instructions are all there". They were also trying to get it together but they couldn't. Here's the "funny" part: the software in which the exams were done ran on XP and there was no way in hell we could make it work on our W10 PCs. Not to mention this is a natiowide problem.
We reinstalled Java to v.7.9 (I think...?) as the "instructions" told us, with no results whatsoever.
So my dad decided to call me and asked me to bring a PC that didn't run W10. The closest thing to XP I could think of was my uncle's Toshiba, that had Vista, so I went to his house and grabbed it and drove to my dad's school. Even in compatibility mode, it didn't work. Everyone was in despair LoL. I was even put on the phone with the entity's technician, who didn't know how to solve it either but was trying, as well with our tech guy.
After a bit of running around and crying inside, our secretary remembered we still had a tower on site that ran XP. We went for the thing and connected it and booted it up. After reinstalling Java and setting security to "medium" (required), and meddling with zoom (the window was too small to show the whole exam and if the window showed up before we set the zoom to 75% or so we couldn't choose the answers) it was finally set to do the exams.
I've never felt so relieved for solving tech stuff LoL. It took me 3h to get it done and I feel it would have been easier if we had remembered about the tower earlier but oh well what can one do.

Fuck me and I was wondering what's eating away 3,1tb.... btw only 40gb left

Today I showed and told some of devRant's rants to one of my housemates (I have 2 and they're both non devs) and he said "People can't be that stupid". Oh boy are you wrong

One of my house mates just came to my room and asked if I had a charger for her bf's phone and pointed at the headphones jack... I think I died a little inside

(She's not into tech and kinda apologized for it and I just "hey it's OK you don't have to know that". I'm a bit shocked LoL)

There are always three questions i get asked when i tell people I'm a programmer:

Can you take a look at my phone/laptop/pc etc...?

Can you hack?

Whats the green stuff from matrix?

So many programming ideas, but so little free time🙁

I love doing crawlers to test stuff. Client wanted me to crawl his page for certain errors.... seems i ddossed them

Employers and clients think developers come up with genius solutions while in offices, hell no!
Most of the genius solutions come when a Dev is showering, gaming, peeing, pooping etc. So don't fire me cause I am playing Dota 2 on my laptop. Am innovating bit*h

I can troll all day by opening Devtools on a browser and change <input type=“password“> to <input type=“text“> they think i hacked google, facebook and their email acoount

Today I dropped and updated a database to override it with local changes. Turned out the same dB was used by another project.

I just destroyed a week worth of work and content.

Good thing I took a dump before dropping everything. Got it running in 5 Minutes

Everytime I want to use a well recommended library which last commit was two years ago or longer i get suspicious

Just listened to the podcast, Tim rogus known as "T Rogus" no fuck you! You will stay Trogus for me for all eternity!

The more I go through devRant the more I think I wanna work alone... or with a small group of devs I know 😐 (as in, freelancer or something. Not in a company)

For all my gamers turned devs bratanas. P.S. I try to get by :)

I have a very angry duckling.

So my real name is jason and I got the habit to use Json as my nickname as a little Dev pun.

I think I overdid it

SCStudentRant?

I have a subj called "Fundaments of Operative Systems" (or something along those lines), and I have 2 crappy teachers, one for the theory classes, the other for the exercise classes.
The exercise classes teacher is said to be the worst in uni and every time I think about that class I get a bit anxious because I can never do anything in it. Basically we don't get taught code in theory classes and he just comes and says "do this exercise" without explaining anything first. And when he does I still don't understand it.
I bet like 90% of us have no idea how to program in C and we need that for those classes. I hate C with a passion because of this.
In the theory classes, the teacher explains most of the things without powerpoints, and when we don't understand something (either ask about something he said or what's written in the board), he REFUSES to explain or say what's written, because he has "explained it before". He even chuckles as if it was really funny that we can't read his handwriting or just didn't listen because we were writting things down OH MY GOD. So most of the times when I copy things from the boards and then look at them at home I'm like "what the hell is this, this doesn't make any sense, what did he even write" (has some word that looks like what he wrote with ?? around it)
I think they wanna watch us fail. I really do.
I kinda understand the theory classes, but half the test is writing code. How am I gonna write code if I don't understand it? I have a work for that subj to deliver until monday but I can't make it work because I don't know the code I have to write. Damn it all to hell jesus christ

Additional note: they're both in their 60s and should be retiring not long from now so maybe that's why they act so carelessly.
Love the uni, not so much some of the teachers

Computers fear my devaura. Everytime I get called to fix something it magically starts working when I enter the room. 5 Minutes after I leave it broke again.

Repeat like while(true)

It’s been so long since I posted but this time it’s juicy again.

I got a coworker, no prio experience but already a year and few months into the job. He’s bad.
Magnitudes of bad!

We’re trying to teach him but to no avail. Everything about him sucks, major ballsack to be exact.

His attitude is to avoid every task, finishes nothing and then starts something new.

„Did you do X like we told you to?“
„No I started on Y, because I thought it [looks better, seems more interesting, thought that X is useless…]“

When you ask him much is done he is always „almost“ finished and needs your help on the „last 5-10%“. Yeah fuck that!

But that guy has a talent, his talent is to always give you technically correct answers which actually are complete bullshit.

„What are you doing at your job?“
„Staring at a screen and typing things.“ dude what?

That guy used the excuse „I can’t do maths“ on everything.

For an exam he had to calculate how long it would take to reach a certain amount if you would get some interest in that every year.
He asked the teacher for the formula. During the exam! And when the teacher didn’t want to give it to him he wrote plainly „can’t do maths“ on the paper and left

His code is of a quality as if he would write his first line in a week and then has the audacity to blame me and the colleagues for not explaining it right.

Ok you might think now we’re teaching him bad, or are too impatient. But honestly if you have to explain how to do a for loop for over about 15 months and get that attitude I think you get the right to be angry. I don’t mind explaining on how things work, even for the hundredth time, but then don’t tell me you understood, go behind my back, complain at a colleague how bad I explained, get explained by him and then do it again until you whored yourself through the whole staff!

It’s like he got the mind swiper from Men in black at home. Every day he hits the reset button.

He had a week of just changing indentation on a html file. Why? Because he wanted to find his style.

Yeah his style

if(a==b){
console.log(a);
}
else {
console.log(b)
}

And to produce code like that it takes him atleast 4 hours of trial and error.

And at the same time he goes arround and boasts what a super good programmer he his and that he can do some project work for them.
How we found out? Because he started working in those projects during work time at the office and asked us how to do things.
And he does so like a complete bastard!
Broken sql query? “No that query is perfect as it is, it’s supposed to show no results! But, just in theory, if I wanted to show some results, what would I need to change?”

I’m so mad about it and pissed on a personal level because he goes around blames everyone and the world for his short comings

The hypetrain has no brakes...

Who thought Lua was a good idea for extending gameplay functionality??

It's weakly typed, has no OOP functionality and no namespace rules. It has no interesting data structures and tables are a goddamn mystery. Somebody made the simplest language they could and now everybody who touches it is given the broadest possible tools to shoot themselves in the foot.

Lua's ease of embedding into C++ code is a fool's paradise. Warcraft 3's JASS scripting language had way more structure and produced much better games, whilst being much simpler to work with than Lua.

All the academics describing metatables as 'powerful extensionality' and a fill-in for OOP are digging the hole deeper. Using tables to implement classes doesn't work easily outside school. Hiding a self:reference to a function inside of syntactic sugar is just insanity.

Nobody expects to write a triple-A game in lua, but they are happy to fob it off to kids learning to program. WoW made the right choice limiting it to UI extensions.

Fighting the language so you can try and understand a poorly documented game engine and implement gameplay features as the dev's intend for 'modders', is just beyond the pale. It's very difficult to figure out what the standard for extending functionality is, when everybody is making it up as they go along and you don't have a strongly-typed and structured language to make it obvious what the devs intended.

If you want to give your players a coding sandbox, make the scripting language yourself like JASS. It will be way better fit for purpose, way easier to limit for security and to guarantee reasonable performance. Your players get a sane environment to work in and you just might get the next DOTA.

Repeatedly shooting yourself in the foot on invisible syntax errors and an incredibly broad language is wasted suffering for kids that could be learning the programming concepts that cross all languages way quicker and with way more satisfying results.

Lua is hot garbage for it's most popular application, I really don't get it. Just stop!

Guess what came in the mail today (more like 1w ago but I wasn't home yet)! Thank you, devRant team :D
Obrigada! :D

In competitive games in which team composition matters and you have different playable classes and/or roles (tank, area damage, point damage, various kinds of healing, buffs/debuffs, etc) what kind of character do you like to play?

I guess this would apply to stuff like MMOs, Overwatch, TF2, DOTA, Diablo/PoE, and so on.

When your friends from home invites you to play Dota

*lunch break at work*
okay, let's play some dota...
*playing dota*
see crush eating, talking, flirting and having fun w/ someone... aaah shit heee weee go again 🤪 or not, whatever, I don't care, yeah, she's not my gf, I'm fine, everything is fine...
*a few minutes later*
client: hey, need this change right now
me: ok 👌
*keyboard sound*
ok, done, let's create a PR
*PR created*
me to myself: yeah, told ya
*PR merged*
me to myself again (I'm a sane person don't worry 😈): that was some badass code you wrote. see? I don't care about crush
*a few minutes later*
client: why the fuck did you ask to merge into master? (I created 33 PRs before and all were merged into the correct branch so they didn't check anymore)
me: *looking at crush 🙄*

I'm going to have a test tomorrow... And I still don't know the grade of the test I've done over 1m ago (2nd of November)... And people are saying the teacher told them the grade is coming tomorrow when he told us on my class (2 different shifts) that it was coming out today... Someone send help please
In the uni's regulation it says that if teachers don't release our grades for a test 3d before the next one, we can talk to our pedagogic commission and ask to do something about it. People from my course on fb were talking about asking to remove the minimum grade on the average of our 2 tests, but IDK how that situation is and I don't think there's much we can do about it so on top of tomorrow's test. And changing the date of the test isn't really an option because we have 3 tests left on the next week and 1/2 and it's all so on top of each other so the only solution would be to make it after the 20th (that's our last test, and people have already booked flights to go home)

Mom: hey I can't get into the phone, the PIN and PUK aren't working. See if you can fix it otherwise you'll have to go to the communications company to ask for a new card (my mom is working and can't do it)
Me: //gives it another try. Doesn't work. Searches online. Yep, can't do anything, it needs a new card
Me: sorry mom, you have to get a new card, there's nothing I can do.
Mom: OK
Me: why did you ask me for help, again?
Mom: well because you can do things and fix things and so, and I thought that maybe you could fix it
Me: 😑

Wow I was playing Dota 2 when Windows decided to minimize it and tell me about the update timing. Almost cost me a game.

Everytime I see anything with 404 i expect it to break

So my dad calls me because my uncle is freaking out about how a client messaged him and he doesn't know how to check if he can do what them asked him to. I tour them around the website he's using (as he understands little to none of it, and my dad doesn't use the site regularly so he's not versed into it as well) as to where they're supposed to look and they go check this one tab. In it, there's info of what is sold out in what day. And for each day it says "day x - y sold out" and he asks me what day it is that y things are sold out, and that it is confusing, and I'm like "are you serious it's right there". Goddamn it this guy sometimes

Code like this makes me shed a tear in nostalgia... also I want to murder somebody for still putting that in tutorials

For those that play Dota 2. I went looking at the Lore of some heroes and decided to search the names of a few, and by searching "Slark" - instead of a hero, I found an artist. Even the heroes be hustling in their spare time👌

Well then...
I just wanna buy some tickets >:V

!rant

Looked into browser jank and how to optimize large lists of images in a scrollbox, went from 20fps while scrolling to ~60fps ❤️

Oh simple

-get idea
-think it's Great
-fiddle around
-research it
-done multiple times
-bail

A few years ago I worked at company specialized in Magento(eCommerce) and Magento was changing their licensing model. At the time they had 3 Versions. Community(free), Pro and Enterprise.

They decided to ditch Pro and either make all migrate to Enterprise(with a discount) or go community which wasn’t really compatible. So some shops were in need of a more or less complete rewrite.

My hdd crashed literally the day before but hey no big deal everything is 99% done and on staging. So I had a Trainee at that Time and thought the last few crappy things could be done in pair programming so he can learn a few things.

But fuck him! That motherfucker! He managed to WIPE the staging server and no that was at a time without gut and no SVN. That dipshit just deleted 2 months of work because he thought it was a good idea to SYNC his empty project to the staging system.

Oh god I nearly stabbed him. He did that shit out of his own mind even though I told him a dozen times what would happen... we had to do the whole thing again with me sitting next to him watching every stroke he made.

Guess he learned something while inward silently raging the next weeks.

Had to submit a form and couldn't because of some js errors. I hacked my way through with the console to submit none the less

I hate people ranting about “Uhh thats not responsive I sent a screen how I imagined it.“

Open Screen, 1918x703 px WIDE.

Explained for an hour that thats not fucking responsive. Nobody could see or read that even if I were to implement. Responsive fucking means text breaks BELOW the damn pictures to make it readable. I will never fit that on an iphone or something unless he pays extra so i can perform dark magic to force vertical view on some devices and put 100 alert functions that the device is not supported by the site.

Im so mad fuck him and fuck me

Find 1000 ways to solve a problem

With all the rubber ducks and coding companions being thrown around in the rants I'm thinking about getting one myself... I don't think I can talk about code to my house mates (both non devs, they would just stare at me and get bored quickly) and not having something physical to talk to feels weird

Code in index.php: if(!isset($_COCKIE['access'] == '123') {
echo 'Denied'; die;
}

And then there was the access.php which set the cookie.

So you had to go to foo.com/access.php which displayed a white page and set the cookie. Then navigate back to foo.com for access

!rant

Today I finally found a randomly appearing bug that prevented our nightly backup on our production servers! Finally!
Now I can go to sleep in peace.

I dont like coffee.

Gamers.. What are the games you playing now ?

Me first..
GTA 4 , Witcher 1 and DOTA 2 .. ( I know booo.. right ? ). Just got a gaming pc months ago so smoothly ramping it up.

Ugh a blue screen of death. I used to be terrified of them when I was a child 😐

Everyone else calling his private projects folder “graveyard“?

!rant
Today I found a huge performance bug of a coworker which brought our production servers to the limit.
Some heavy calculations were made 3 times when visiting some special pages... Instead of eg. 5 seconds the load needed 15 seconds.😮
So happy that the servers will run smooth again!

Everytime I work on stuff deep in the core of an application i feel like performing heartsurgery

We are currently refactoring our application in order to use multiple languages. The application startet 1997 and later it supported 2 fix languages. So it's one defined language or the other, this was used in uncountable places. Now a team of 6 developers has to refactor all the code of the last 20 years, where labels are used and an old translator was magically used out of nowhere..
Turns out it's a ton of work to get the software ready for really multiple language support.

Me: //trying to fix bugs
IntelliJ: hey you have 2 typos
Me: Where? I can't see typos anywhere what the Hell
Me: //looks up and down my classes/interfaces. It's my name
Me:
Me: Well isn't that delightful

🎉🎊 Happy holidays and a happy new year to all 🎉🎊

Any one else following Dota Bucharest major

How tell me apart from the other departments?

It's so cold inside my office it creates fucking WIND when you open my door

I just broke a magento store by registering a resize event on the window with jquery.

Wtf

Function works() {
Try {
HorriblyDyingCode();
Return true;
} catch (Exception e) {
Return false;
}
}

creating code for years it feels much like programming boiled down to using frameworks...

After waiting for almost a month, yesterday I went to check on how my computer was doing, since I hadn't got any messages or calls ever since.
I go to the store and ask one of the workers about how my laptop is doing, and that I'd left it there almost a month ago and that they'd tell me when it was time to get the papers and then the laptop itself. The girl asks me for my phone number and then my name, and found nothing on the computer. She goes somewhere inside the store and comes back with a colleague, who tells me that I need a process paper. I pull out the receipt the technician photocopied and signed because that was the only thing I had. I hadn't touched that part of my paste for the whole time after I left the computer there and I was 100% sure I didn't have the process paper with me until he started pressing me for it. I kept repeating that the technician told me that they'd call or message me when said process paper was ready, which I hadn't got any of those to go pick it up. The guy asks me if that were the number and name I'd given the tech guy and I said yes. Both of them disappear into the store again. They come back with a cardboard box and say that the surname written there was wrong by a char (as I've said before my name is unusual, and my surname is also unusual where I'm studying, but where I'm from there's like 5 or 6 families with that surname), so that's why they couldn't find it in the computer. After that they went through all the details I gave on the time of handing the PC and the number they told me was there was off by miles. I think I may have said a wrong digit but that number was way off. There should be some person who got calls or messages about a computer they don't even own LoL
They told me to try it and see if it was running OK and that I had 15d to go back if something was wrong
When I got home I turned it on, afraid it would start dying on me again LoL
I pass the login screen and the fan just starts working really hard and I'm worried. The ASUS guys reinstalled Win8 and the CPU is running wild already, going at about 3,5 GHz (2,5 max) and over 30% usage on nothing
After some minor inconveniences (making the USB with Win10 took longer than expected) I finally installed Win10 and the CPU usage drops to < 10% and runs at way below the 2,5 GHz max. It constantly uses <= 10-15% CPU and the fan makes no noise unless I put in a heavier game (like Oxygen Not Included - it asks for 4GB RAM minimum 8I), in which case it goes up a bit and runs at around 3 GHz, but it doesn't make as much noise as before, thank jesus. I'm gonna keep trying to see how it does and hope I don't have to go back to the store after the next 15d 8I
I can finally work and not be a leech on my friends because my old toshiba - which I forgot I'd brought with me to uni - is really old and it makes a lot of noise (the fan is constantly working too much but it's so old I don't bother anymore) and it heats my room a lot, so it's gonna be a nice change of pace HaHa

You are a coder as well as dota addict and you see a good game just posted on YouTube. You don't come back then

Music videos and random things that come to mind and I feel like I have to check and then end up getting really far from what I was looking for in the first place.

This is something that I hadn't done or that directly impacted me, but that had an effect in my life several years after it happened.
It's one of those stories that you think "this only happens to others", and then someday you're the "others".

So when I was born, I was, naturally, registered on the health care system. My parents chose an uncommon name for me (uncommon in my country) so I think I wasn't registered by the time of my birth, but 4 months later when all the bureaucratic crap came to an end (long story short, the guy that was there when it started died and my parents had to wait 4 months for another person to be appointed). So, when my parents finally went to register me, apparently, for some reason, the computer took my name and assumed it was a male name. As I've said, my name is uncommon in my country, there're probably 3 or 4 people with the same name here in Portugal.
Why did the computer assume it was a male name AND why didn't nobody check that? Since my parents had to ask to government entities to let them name me that name, I'm assuming it wasn't in their db. So why did it assume male? Was it purposely programmed that, by default, all "newly-registered" names were to be male? Was it random? Who the hell knows.
And how did nobody check that, every time I went to take vaccines? I don't think anyone told my mom that everytime we went there that the data was wrong, otherwise the situation wouldn't have lasted for 14 years.
We only knew about that mishap when it was time I had to take vaccines specifically for women and that I wasn't being noticed of it even though a friend 1y younger than me had already taken hers.

I find this story amusing but now that I started thinking about how it came to life (no pun intended) I'm actually a bit pissed off about how they didn't think of uncommon names and that how that could affect their registry in the system. They could have - IDK - placed "undefined" in that field so that it would caught the register's attention.
Moral of the story: don't assume stuff :v

I can't believe it is real: I just had to talk someone out of calling a navigation point "FAQ User"

Had to admit I'm from Germany and so was the client. It's quiet common people pronounce FAQ as fuck here

Finally managed to install nvidia driver on my ubuntu laptop after a couple of fucked up resulting in me formatting the ubuntu partition. Im sure there are solutions which didnt require reinstalling the OS but I gave up trying after wasting about hours tinkering with the installation, and restarting into blank screen.

Now that I can work and play dota on ubuntu, Im ready to get rid of the windows 10 dualboot

Was supposed to be studying for a test today at 1am (it's in a few hours). Instead starts writing the date in binary, hexadecimal and octal (and then decimal). Go me, watch me fail that test LoL

PS: those dry erase pens were the best thing I could ever buy. I love writing on my windows

Had a client whom was using the staging system on my server as cdn, remote computing, etc... because his prod server was a cheap vhost while the vm was a beast compared to it. I shut it down without telling. I just got a call that his site is now slow a f and full of errors.

I kindly told him that there was a recent security breach called dirty cow. Then I told him that I shut the vm down because it would mean security risk for him since there are no patches available yet and only Power on again with there was work for me to do.

If you want resources pay for them

Valve

i love their games and the whole model of community but now its just become a big cash grab for MOBA players. nothing against the ppl that enjoy DOTA, i just wish all the other games that still have a lively community got the same level of maintenance and attention.

IDK if this counts as a meeting

Last year, I was in my first uni year. In this subject, we had to do this project and then have to meet with our teacher to talk about what we've done in it, as a way to see if we really did the work and/or if we both had done it.
So me and my colleague get to the room and sit down. He starts asking questions. My colleague answers. I freeze.
I'm a bit socially awkward and anxious to the point it kinda incapacitates me when I'm subjected to some sort of social pressure (read: evaluations). At some point, the teacher turns to me and says "you haven't been talking. Did you let your colleague do it all by himself?", and I faintly respond "No", so he redirects his questions to me.
To tell the truth I was kinda off the loop for the second part of that project, I barely could get anything done and I felt so bad about it. I'm used to doing all the work so not being able to do anything is so frustrating.
He starts asking me stuff and I forget what I studied for it. I just... forgot. I do not cope well with evaluations where I have to actually talk to people. I do fine on tests.
So he turns to us after the trainwreck that were my answers and says "your work is not good. At all. You may fail the subject. I have to see the first part again, but this isn't looking good for the both of you" (the work was to be delivered in 2 parts). I was crushed. I went home and I just cried out of frustration and fear.
We had a 13 in the work. We both passed the subj. I don't think there was any moment I was so scared to see a grade and so relieved to see that I've made it.

"uhhh, whenever I want to install something on windows, it works unlike x"

MAN GO FUCK YOURSELF.
WINDOWS STOPS WORKING RANDOMLY. SOME APPLICATIONS ARE JUST PEW GONE.

YESTERDAY, I COULD PLAY LOL. TODAY, I NEED TO SPEND HOURS TRYING TO FIX IT.

"JUST REINSTALL"

YOU STUPID SACK OF SHIT, DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I REINSTALLED WINDOWS?

DOTA IS BETTER
yeah, maybe. 2hard for me tho

Have bought a set of white board pens to scribble on my windows. Have been writting some stuff down on them for a uni project for the past half hour. It's almost 4am. Damn it

A few years ago:

Installing Visualstudio 2008 on Xp.

Pc is laggy as f.
Start browsing nsfw to kill time and boss comes over. Try to close browser and not working. Start to panic a bit. Boss comes over looking at black boxes.

Pictures didnt render. I was so lucky

Trying to learn something new.
Find a library in a foreign language. It's c++.
Unable to include lib.
Copy contents
Try absolute path
Compiler gives me the finger
Abandon project

That feeling when you fixing bugs in production and add another one that's even worse, so now your getting about 300 error mails for a bug which was 10 seconds online...

Spent 1-2h (or it felt like so) fixing this one bug today. I'm still mad about it LoL. I knew exactly what was the problem, just didn't know where it was, and went over that piece of code time and time again and didn't see it... UGH THE FRUSTRATION. When I found the error I wanted to get inside a hole and die of how stupid a mistake it was and how it had been staring at me in the face, mocking me for being so dumb. ARGH!

Watch your shell. Someone did it again.

Sysadmin grilled s3 with a typo in his command, shutting down whole subsystems of amazons infrastructure

I like js. I can fix errors the backend provides

Once one of my teachers told me - when giving me and my colleague feedback on a project on Java - that in a certain method we shouldn't be giving as parameters parts of an object, as we're not IKEA or something, when we could be giving the object as a whole. Not the best teacher I've had so far but I still (try to) program by that rule LoL

My dad has gotten some annoying viruses in his PC and I'm getting so mad at how slow his computer is and since I'm the techie at home... //ANNOYED SIGH

I shall do it. I shall get my dad's computer rid of this crap but it's so slow oh my god >:V

Today is thursday. Oh no.

At thursdays I have a 8h30-19 schedule (I have 1h30' of free time to go home and cry after I finish a class at 15h30 though) and there's this one class I DREAD. It's a 2h class at 17h and it's an exercise class. This wouldn't be so bad it I actually understood the code behind the exercises, because they don't teach us code in the theory classes (btw it's C. I hate that language because of all this). The teacher pretty much tells us "do this exercise", waits like 10' and then starts to (try to) explain what we're supposed to do. Oh my god.
The other day he was like "write "exec ( ... "text" ... )", compile and execute". It didn't work. Of course it didn't why would it? I was switching around between terminal, manual and text editor, to no avail. In the end he explained but I don't think I got it.
Every time I think about this class I die a little inside and start to become somewhat anxious to be honest. The theory is not that that hard, the practice part is what is killing me (I have test in 2w but I'm just gonna start studying earlier so I can go watch this match LoL).
Does someone know a good book (preferably online, if possible) or a good website on C? I really need to read that, that language is killing me.

Bonus: the other day I had to do a homework that was to be delivered. We had to write a program that read the program and its arguments like this:

./program_name
numArgs
arg1
arg2
etc

I wrote the code, had some bumps in the way, asked a colleague for help because we needed to have a custom function made that was to be done in the class but that I couldn't make because of the reasons above. Then it came the time to test. My VM broke (I think I'm gonna format my PC to try to fix that. Have installed some other versions of the VM but the installations fails or the machine doesn't start) so I sent it to said colleague to test. She said it did OK and so I sent the work to this website we have to send our works to.
"2 errors".
What? What happened? She said it worked just fine.
Looked at my code, couldn't see anything wrong.
Asked the same colleague for help.
Turns out I missed a space. A SPACE. I don't think I've ever felt so frustrated in my life. A presentation error in Java is a good thing, at least we know the program works fine, it's just the output that's wrongly formatted. But C? Nope, errors all around, oh my god. I'm still mad about it.
And I owe her a chocolate.

Yesterday i went coding, tired as hell. I told myself “Atleast i get smth done“ i was wrong. Redid everything and now expect many merge conflicts when i get home

Hello dear fellow programmers,

Lately I'm faced with an issue: i can't code. It takes me a really long time to get my codeengine running and it stops on the first occasion, it either be a cigarette pause, a question from a coworker or what ever.

I love code and I have a blast when I start but I have a hard time starting it.

What to do? I'm a bit at a loss here

Easily machine learning. A lot of stuff thst was bevore thought to be impossible or just plain was to hard suddenly gets reachable. My fav example is the dota ai. Just love it

Was rushed to write a crappy massmailing for super urgent newsletter, had to be finished in 20 minutes. Last 5 minutes i had to rewrite half of it. Told them its rushed, testet and crappy.

Mailed the stuff anyway. Every Email got the same dynamic string in subject.

Looked at code, was setting the subject 2 lines above the loop.

Sorry guys, dont rush me next time

!rant
I finally published my first open source project. A package for calculation a geohash of a geolocation for pharo smalltalk.
I know that most of the users don't know smalltalk but it's the best OOP you can code with. And geohash is such a great algorithm. Lovely combination

I really want to dive deeper in other languages. But everytime I see something with a not c-like syntax i can't muster the resolve to dive in.

Any advice to overcome that?

I once was working on my family's business during summer and was doing something on the laptop that was there (according to the owner, it was in a "good shape" - oh my god that laptop nearly gave me cancer: an old Toshiba, running W10, with half the F keys not working - specially F5. I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT F5 OH MY GOD -, and also the ➡ key (arrow keys). It was bought in a flea market and some IT guy, a friend of the owner, repaired it a bit and installed the OS because a laptop that old ran WinXP or Win Vista for sure) when suddenly it died on me.
I rebooted the thing and right before the time it should be showing the windows logo, the screen froze (on a black screen with some text) and it started to beep. Loudly. A loud continuous beep. I turned it off and on some times after that, seeing if turning it off and on did something (as it seems to work LoL) and it continued with the beeping. After a quick search I found out that that was a common problem with Toshibas that old, and that I needed to press F2 (that key worked thank god) when the black screen with the text showed up (I don't remember what was written there, it were some booting instructions, I think).
It worked. Great. Now the N key doesn't work when I press it. Greeeeeeeaaaaaat. Also it seemed that, when I opened the start menu, it would automatically write "nnnnnnnn(...)" without me pressing any key (pressing any key would make it stop though, maybe it was stuck).
Then I told the owner not to turn it off, because the laptop would start beeping and such (and I know he'd panic about it).
From then on I think it went off for good and now he's been using his own Toshiba, that runs Vista and is slow as all hell.
Moral of the story: he should have been used his crappy PC from the beginning, at least all its keys work

(Note: watching him type hurts my soul. When one is used to use both hands to type, and is fast-ish on the keyboard and uses tabs to change fields, watching someone type with only one hand every 2" or so and using the mouse to change fields hurts. So much time wasted 😭)

I hate people. I show them devrant or try to abstract a problem to a everyday problem people still reply with "I don't know computers" ignorant fucks.

In the time between my 1st and 2nd semesters I had this course to help develop our soft skills. In one of the classes the teacher asks what we wanted to do when we finish our courses and when I said I wanted to make games someone snickered behind me 😒 maybe I was a bit too enthusiastic (I'm super pumped about it, I just wanna be out there and make games and make people happy. It may sound childish but it's what I want to do. After all, I'm still 14 😜 (jk, people look at me and think I'm younger than I really am. I've been even "put" in 5th-8th (12-15) grade once, when I was in xmas vacations from uni, early this year)) but no need to be rude 😒

!rant

One of my housemates had a problem with her iPhone (an iPhone 4), which was showing her a black screen. I asked her if she had tried to restart it, and she said she'd taken out the SIM card and and put it back in and it was still giving her a black screen. I told her that holding the lock and home buttons at the same time for a few seconds restarted the thing. Seconds later she was messaging me in all caps saying it worked.
I guess the "turn it off and on again" really does work LoL

Me: OK (I have a test on a couple days from now, I have to study)/(it's 3am I have to get up at 9am - I try to have a good sleep schedule OK)/(I need to get up and get ready to go to uni)/(some other thing I should be doing). I'm just gonna check devRant real quick.
//30' later: still on devRant
Me: Goddamn it not again

So, working on real multi language support today I was searching for countries and country-codes. Yes this one is easy peasy. Also easy if you want every countryname in your supported languages.
But why is there no source for the states or provinces translated in every language. It's so hard to find...
Anyone knows a source for it? Is it worth to create a project for such translations?

!rant

I've been looking for an open source bugtracker. The Idea is to make it public and lets clients submit their tickets. I looked at redmine and truth be told: I can't do the ruby,so it dropped. Bugzilla? Well... please no. Flyspray.... well we tried but don't get along. I stuck with mantis2 because it's the only thing with eyecandy i've found even though the source is a hellish mix of 1000+ lines of wild php and html mixes. The rest either doesn't fit or looks too old. I also don't mind throwing a buck or two but i want to run it on my own server and do fancy stuff to it if i want to.

Sometimes I feel that devRant freezing my phone is its way of telling me to do something with my life LoL
Except I can't really do anything right now as I'm on a hospital far from home 😕 Should've brought my laptop, I was working on a thing last night before going to bed and the hospital has wi-fi 😑

@dfox why do some of the older rants display the date on the rant but then the comments are older than the rant itself (for example, the rant say 22/09 - or 09/22 to you - and the comments say 16-09. But most of the comments I see say 16-09). What did you guys mess up 😛

I finally got to code something yesterday (I've been slacking OTL everytime I open the Java IDE I use my motivation flies out the window) and I've written down some things to help me do what I need because I forget it if I keep it all in my head. Not that this is a big thing, but it's just to help me to not forget what I've learnt, because I know that'll happen if I don't code.
So I'm coding and checking my notes and all, headphones on, heavy metal blasting, I guess I could say I was in the zone.
Suddenly I get a message from my dad asking me to come to the living room. Turns out my mom had been calling me but I couldn't hear it because I had the headphones on... again 😅 (Sorry mom 😇)
So I left my things and walked to the living room. My mom wanted me to put 2 images I've made for her together. I sat on the couch and waited. And waited. I waited more than I've coded before they called me. I was getting impatient because I was trying to code and I'd been called to wait ;u; I thought I could do it in her computer because it was a simple paint thing so I didn't need the editing program I use.
When she finally showed me what she wanted me to do and I noticed that I hadn't edited one the image she provided me correctly (it didn't look good either way, I butchered the logo she'd given me because stray pixels are a thing that exist 😒 reducing the image also kinda killed it 😅). So I come back to my room and edited it again and made it look a bit better, did what she wanted me to do in the first place and emailed it to her. I went back to the living room and checked it it was good and went back.
I lost too much time and the motivation to code. Played for a bit and then forced myself to go back to coding because I didn't feel motivated (not that I don't like coding, I just lack the motivation most of the time). When I realized it it was 2h30 am and I was getting tired 😴

We had serverside profiles at school. And at one day someone forgot to sign off. So me, the bored dev apprentice, wrote a cmd Programm which spammed every folder with a txt file with contents like "Sign off next time!" Then wrote that sentence to a desktop file until the drive was full.

They had to restore a server backup since that appearantly fucked the system

Quick questions for all the devs out there
What was the weirdest dev thing you've done/tried to do in the "real" world?
And/or
What was the weirdest "real" world thing you've done/tried to do while developing?

I took a project. Wild mix of php and html including db stuff and data processing. About 200 files, some 3000+ lines long with if else cases processed in another template/logic behemoth...

I wrote a js file included it at the footer of the monster and update dom + data via ajax on my own api implementation because I'm too afraid to write in any of those files.

I've been told its quality code and well documented

My computer has gone to repair so for the meantime I'm computer-less. Which sucks big time because I have projects and tests coming up (not to mention personal projects and other stuff I've been asked to do) and I kinda have to leech off my friends and I don't like doing that, but, for now, it's what I'm doing. My old toshiba couldn't handle whatever I have to do, damn thing should be going through menopause or something. I wasn't a good owner LoL
I never really know if it'll boot during the first minute after I turn it on or if'll take it hours to do so, so I don't wanna risk it taking it with me to uni 😬 Not to mention it's still running Vista 😅
So my brother left to go to a friend's house until sunday so for the today and tomorrow I have access to the beast that is his computer ☺
I don't mean beast as a bad thing, it's a good computer, but it has an almost full SSD and I need to install a couple things so I can work on it :') (I'll uninstall them later and try to leave it as I found it LoL)
I can finally take a bit to play as well 😥 as I haven't been able to do so, as not only my PC is on repair, but I've been leaving uni late (after midnight - I valour my sleep OK). Luckily one of my house mates lets me use her PC after she goes to bed or her bf arrives to our house. The other day I managed to install steam and play a bit (she gave me permission to do so and I uninstalled them later) 😂 her computer almost died on me, it only has 4GB of RAM :') poor thing was over working to keep up LoL
Now, my brother's computer has a mechanical keyboard and besides the macro keys (they're on the far end of the keyboard, where you'd expect the shift/ctrl/caps lock/etc keys to be), I'm loving it tbh. It's a cheap keyboard, my mom didn't want to buy anything too fancy for him, but I like the sounds it makes 😅 may get one for myself (a mechanical keyboard I mean LoL. I really liked one I saw here on devRant that looked like a typewriter but it's WAY out of my league for now HaHa)

!rant

I'm in the lookout for a new laptop for my dev work and occasional gaming (Dota 2 only), needs to have at least 16GB, 256 SSD, decent battery life and portable.

Which laptop do own?
Which do you recommend?

That feeling when you were sick as shh and almost good now after eating good pepperoni sausages and wine, suddenly getting energy and reminiscing about : (1. Biggest priority)
1. Am I really going to play with code side project it's Saturday
2. Nah I'm still going to play Dota or wow or idk
3. Laying in bed devranting and telling to myself am I that tired and lazy to do the above ones? Nah it's just socializing
4. Laying in the bed turning the phone display down ?
Yeah tough choices probably get some wine and do some music idk man

I will start pursuing music as a career(I play drums) or maybe become start taking dota seriously and become a professional player

We are dependent on dependency injection and package management... which also comes with a lot of dependencies installed by another package manager

File_put_contents + file_get_contents from php because i'm too lazy for fopen and stuff

Best part of being a dev?

Not there yet, but as long as one has the knowledge, one can create anything, and make people feel connected to their creation.
At least that's what I'm aiming at

If sublime got more tabs than chrome shit got real

Developers (and students in general, but specially informatics students 😛) should be the only people that wonder why the thing they did work AND why it doesn't work

Dota fcking 2

Beeing sick means forced homeoffice...

When documenting some stuff in Eclipse and you separate the parameters from the actual explanation with a - and hit ctrl+shift+f (refactoring) so the - goes to the next line along with the explanation... good thing I only documented 2 methods so far LoL they have like half a dozen parameters though o-o
I wanna thank the comment I just deleted for making me realize this LoL better now than when the whole interface is commented good jesus

I never set foreign keys in development in case I need to wipe or truncate stuff. Fuck you sql

Being pretty much the only one who has some knowledge of how to code and get my way around tech (even if minimal, I'm too lazy for my own good) in my familiar household - and by extension, my family (Family extends FamiliarHousehold - LoL I'm sorry) - (my brother is on his first grade of a programming course in high school, I'm a 2nd grade uni student aiming to become a game dev) sometimes I wish I knew nothing of it.

Don't get me wrong, I do like working on code (if in Java. C is making me wanna tear my eyes out) but sometimes ignorant family members push me through the edge.

I worked on a business thing my family started this summer and one of the "jobs" was managing everything via a website.
Fair enough, I knew nothing of it when I started but I learn fast and just like that I knew my way around it. The problem came when I had to teach the person who started the project how it worked. This doesn't sound all that bad except he is kinda in the stone age regarding informatics.
He got a computer a few years ago and he pretty much only played poker in it, and he still had one of those old nokias you could throw to a wall and get a hole into it. The computer is like 9y and runs like crap.
To make things worse he bought a new phone, a smartphone, and pestered me to teach him. I swear trying to teach him is like repeating the same thing 1000x and pray he keeps it in his head. Spoiler: he doesn't. ( sanity--; )
So to try and easy my suffering I decided to make a manual for the website (which is outdated by now because the team behind the website did a 180 and some things looks different), but it acted as if I'd done nothing. ( sanity--; )
To top this off he keeps on saying I don't wanna help him. ( sanity--; )
This kept going for the whole damn summer, and meanwhile I had to go back to uni and in the first days I still got like 4-5 calls/day, half of those might about the smallest things because he's so panicky.
Like (both examples happened while I was still there but it kinda goes along those lines sometimes):
- (During the period they changed the website the first time since we're there; they were mostly doing changes back and forth and testing because it had a new layout for a day or 2 before going back; also the site was totally functional, except for a thing or 2)
Him: "They're changing the website, why are they doing that?"
Me: "Because it's their website and they can?"
Him: "WHY DIDN'T THEY LET US KNOW"
Me: "They don't have to, they don't work for you." ( sanity--; )
Or (during the same period; the pages have a menu on the left; one of the submenus has a counter that resets every time the session ends; during that maintenance time they must've "disabled" the function because the number kept growing even after the session ended):
Him: "WHY IS THE NUMBER GROWING?"
Me: "They're working on the code, relax, it's nothing."
Him: "But why." ( sanity--; )

The only quesion he pretty much hasn't asked me yet is why "Is the website's colour this one and not that one?".

Organizing some documentation and variables & constants on a uni project I'm doing. Eclipse stop "\n"ing every time I switch things around damn it. It's almost 3am leave me be >:V

Took me some days (considering I code every week or so since that when I open the IDE my motivation is nowhere to be seen) to realize that instead of writing "implement" to implement the methods of an interface I was writing "extend". I mentally facepalmed. Why are you so stupid sometimes brain

Went to girlfriends family. Tablet not functional (screen doesn't work anymore), laptop stayed at home.
So smartphone is my only connection to Internet.
I would like to code something so much...
I think I've now read every rant here...

Deadline in 2 weeks.

Starting and finishing in the last day

This is not a rant, but I've searched this for some time now and can't seem to find it so maybe any of you will be able to help me.

A good few years ago, when I was still a 4-5yo I had a Win95/98 (I don't remember which). We used to have this CD that had a bunch of games, like Chucky Egg or Mahjong, or a xmas-related one (where you could bake cookies, serve drinks - there was a red and a yellow one - and more I don't remember), one with a (purple?) dragon (in a dungeon, that was played in levels, but every run was randomly generated, I think), and many more.
The CD was white with black text, and had a yellow-ish/orange-ish grinning face, that looked like a man's, with a few hairs, that was drawn simply, nothing too complex. I also know there was this one game that made the computer/game freeze, and that was in a blue palette?

I played the crap out of that CD with my mom, and she used to play the dragon one for me (until she found out Mahjong), but it all ended when it broke inside the tower and we had it replaced by the WinXP tower we currently have at home (and that's in pieces because me and my brother disassembled it).

I know it's not much, but does any of you remember anything like what I just wrote? It should be from around the 2000s and probably from a gaming magazine.

Fucking behemoth(check the collab)

I have something ethnical controversal in the making. I learned to shut up about the project. That's how i learned people fear and hide a lot

Sorry in advance if it's not the right kind of post

I was thinking about a feature that will ease the interaction between people

Can a ignore/mute option like the one in dota 2 be a thing in devrant ?

Like once i ignore someone, i dont see any of his messages ever in any topic

It's mostly a user side filter thing

This way everyone can speak without the drama that come with conflictual subjects

The offender can still speak his mind and everyone expect those who ignored him can see his messages

The user who ignored someone can still live in a fairytale feed where he see things that wont trigger him

Win win 🤔

When a semi-popular CSS framework uses !important way more than it should..

Some words just aren't the same anymore. Sometimes i replay in a dumb manner.

“My whatever isnt working“
“Was there an error message“
“Yes“
“What was it?“
“I dont know I dismissed it“

FML

For those who ever tried to find and/or implement a crm: everything seems to be based on that bastardized vtiger core which is based on an old version of sugarcrm I'm so fucking tired of that shit. I gonna make my own. The underlying framework makes me sick to the bone. Everything in there relies heavily on magic. Being arround for years and just recently got a new major release yet unable to transfer offer items to the invoice even though it requires a relation?

This is not blunt talk. My thing is based on Laravel, EAV principle for dynamic fields, module code structure, interface for the list view and many other stuff is already integrated. This is gonna be done and will be done because existing stuff is so fucking ugly and broken I can't fathom myself.

Btw I still need a name

PS: I hate smarty, PearDb and their fucking database layout

//Not meant to be a rant

I'm doing the doc for a uni project and IDK how to comment our interfaces (not talking about the methods - I can get my way around those) (it's a pair work and my colleague told me to do the doc because I type faster than her 😛 I don't really mind tbh). What should I write as a description of the interface, everything I think about sounds stupid LoL
For example: there's an interface for an activity (which requires 3 arguments to create an object Activity). Do I simply go like

/ * *
* Activity
*
* ( we have to put our names )
* /

Or should I write something more/else? Any tips?
This is bugging me all the way to hell and back

I've set one of my contacts' ringtone to the "IT Crowd" (I haven't actually watched that series yet) "NO! God please NO!" audio bit so I know when that specific person is calling me... I'm glad I don't get his calls anymore, or not as often as they were...

Does anybody experience the app freezing (and freezing the phone) and then crashing after some time?

I never set sql indices on dev env because it's easier to wipe the db without

I have no idea how to make custom images so i keep a txt file for “apt-get install“ or “yum install“

I'm going to have test on monday about this one subj and today was the last theory class before the test. When the teacher asks about the time complexity of an algorithm in the best case some people reply "when n is 1". I can hear the teacher facepalming already LoL

It should be at night (after 9/10pm; I work better at night anyway), headphones on, music blasting (heavy metal nowadays), alone, preferably no distractions, but now that I am at home for xmas holidays I have to be on the lookout for my parents calling me. When I go back to uni I can eliminate that variable from this equation and so I should be in the zone for longer. Hopefully 😅

function() {
}

I am tired of PHP boilerplate, is there something like kotlin but for PHP?

!rant

To all the devs that got their stickers + @dfox and @trogus: do the stickers adhere to uneven surfaces without leaving glue or bits of the sticker material behind? Because I've reached the amount of ++ needed to ask for my stickers (I'm gonna ask them around xmas time so it can be like a xmas present 😀 and also so my brother doesn't take them) but I don't know if I can safely stick them there and remove them if need be
My computer has this circular pattern around the ASUS logo and the area around the touchpad is also uneven, it has some grid pattern

I don't have any stickers on it so devRant's may be the first :D

Games. Dota or Paladins for example.

Usually this is somehow fluent what is "the worst" advice, since it rather depends on context, and contexts changes.

There is, though, one thing that was bad idea from the start, on so many angles that even now I believe it is actually " the worst " idea you can have : imagine you have a team, you have work to do, and, as usual, there are people there, and people have their goals and opinions. The worst thing you can do there is to engage with politics, either team- or company-wide.

I was specialist from Poland in German automotive branch. Cars, trucks, AI, this kind of stuff. ( It just sounds interesting, trust me )
Small company working as subcontractor.

The first thing I though is something like, why this or that person is going to tell me what to do or why is he allowed to rat me out or talk behind my back... so this guy told me this is how it is around here and you either play it or suck for everyone. So I went with it, if they want to fuck with me, I will fuck with them.

So fast it went House Of Cards kind of way and in the bad way kind of way. Instead of getting progress we were busy doing political stuff, usually law related, like finding each other misconducts, and there were no end to it. As I had most experience I with systems and stuff we were doing, outcome was pretty good for me, but after some time it escalated to such size that atmosphere was unbearable and I was so stressed and tired of this shit I left. It's miracle that management tolerated this so far. People were as toxic as nuclear waste site (or dota/lol players)

So far the conclusion is to sometimes suck it up once in a while or just clear the atmosphere as fast as possible. Otherwise you will wade in shit up to your chin for very, very long and it is not really healthy on the long run...

Socket Io is fundamentaly broken

Is masonry the Tetris of divs?

[Tied to my latest rant]
My parents asking me to help them with their computers is the same thing as if I asked my mom to tour me on a country she doesn't know anything about or if I asked my dad to teach me how to pilot a plane (my mom is a tour guide and my dad a driving instructor. I believe the only thing he can't teach is actually how to pilot a plane :b): sometimes it takes too much time and effort and you can't do it.

Oh man, why is there no good api for ocr in PDFs? Once you are searching for this kind you will only find some kind of tesseract.
Why doesn't have Amazon an api for this???

I once had a colleague ranting about my variable naming because it went out of bounds on his IDE's printmargin. To please him i wrote minified code while pair programming

!rant

Once I was in a programming class, and the teacher was explaining the subject for the class, and this guy asks something (about using an else after an if condition, because of efficiency, I think) and he replies with something like "yeah, you know, I like to live dangerous". I kid you not (yes, he said DANGEROUS instead of DANGEROUSLY). I had to try not to laugh out loud.

So I'm working on this little personal project (also as a way to keep my "skills" sharpened for the coming semester), that first started as a workaround to do this other thing, and I wanted to develop it and make it a full fledged thing, with a GUI (or something that resembles it, I don't know how to make GUIs yet, and IDK why is it a 3rd grade thing) and all instead of existing just in the IDE's terminal. When it was on the workaround stage it was just this ugly monster, with only 2 things one could do, but it worked. Now I'm going for a more polished thing and it's starting to break on me, and in places I didn't expect it to LoL
It's like I'm on a boat and I'm getting leaks from everywhere. Arr gotta get me a bucket and save me boat from sinking