When you realize that you're googling an error message you've implemented yourself

Considerations when looking for a tech video course:

5%: Does it have good ratings
5%: Is it priced reasonably
90%: Does the narrator have a smooth soothing voice with an intonation which keeps me dreamy & enchanted, yet with an energized articulation, like a cup of Jasmin tea with clover honey on a dreary Sunday afternoon.

The content may be very good, but if I have to sit through 30 hours of material, you better tickle my ears the right way.

"Oh no this platform is serverless"

I hate this "serverless" term.

How does a cloud platform run serverless?

HOW?!

"yeah but like we don't have to run updates and manage the underlying stuff and can thus deploy stuff serverless"

NO.

THERE ARE ACTUAL SERVERS RUNNING IN ORDER TO RUN THIS PLATFORM.

YOU CANT RUN THIS FUCKING PLATFORM WITHOUT ACTUAL SERVERS.

HOW WOULD IT RUN THEN, ON FUCKING STARDUST?!

IT. IS. NOT. SERVERLESS. AS. LONG. AS. SERVERS. ARE. INVOLVED. AT. SOME. LEVEL.

Whomever at Apple decided that a non-upgradable 8Gb of RAM was OK for a model they call "Pro" can go jump in the nearest active volcano right now!

Today I learned:

`/usr` stands for “universal system resources” not “user”

`/dev` stands for “device” not “development”

Had no idea.

Simple flowchart XD

Stolen from a fb page.

Did anyone notice this?
Today's date is a palindrome: 8 10 2018
👻😍

My boss came into my room today, sat down and said:

Take your family to the [BIG AMUSEMENT PARK], and please keep the reciepts and give them to me. Spend a couple of hundreds bucks and we will pay.
Thanks for being someone whom I can trust

That made me happy

Asked designer to send files for app. He sent images through whatsapp.

QA: It's not working.
Me: Are you getting 503 errors?
QA: No, just the one.

Haha sounds about right

When you pick up someone else's project...

I'm still a bit worried...

Steps to writing more readable and cleaner code:
1) write shitty code that gets the job done
2) take a screenshot of set code
3) post it on devRant and blame it on a coworker
4) someone will reply with a clean solution within a couple hours
5) copy and paste that solution then push to repo

Your chatbot...
Credits: Alessandro

I guess she was fluent in C#

Different error is better 👍

I still believe more people would use the voice assistant if they replaced "Okay Google" with "Operator".

My life today

Stackoverflow.

My friend said "I googled it on duck duck go"

Me: Dude what?

If you're getting new error while debugging, you're making progress.

When you have a merge conflict

So I added
alias please=sudo
to my ~/.bashrc
so I can be more polite to my computer

I just overheard a conversation in my uni and I'm horrified.
They want to use Comic Sans as the main font in the app they're going to develop
I hope I just imagined this

Me: I have been working for you for almost 12 years now, and I feel that my current pay is not comparable to the work I currently produce. Therefore, in order to secure my future as your employee, I must request an immediate raise in pay to a level that is acceptable.

Boss: I can't afford it. If you want more money, you need to bring in more clients, plain and simple.

Me: I'm serious. If I don't get a raise, I will qui---

Girlfriend: Babe, stop talking to yourself and come to bed...

Me: Okay... [looks in mirror] This isn't finished...

Go update Gallery
Only today!!! 15.4% off

McAdmin please.

So I’m a web developer at a company.

And I’m not allowed to access the web.

Any advice?