I'd like to have... A Kernel Panic please, no sudo on top.

dfox: "Let me make life easier for them. Introducing tab bar!"

users: "tab bar is hard to reach on top. please move it to the bottom"

dfox: "But you never complained when the hamburger was at the top-left corner. nvm I'll do it"

users: "ugh, where is the material design. Move the tab bar to the top. Make it scrollable"

dfox: "sudo rm -rf /users"

Boy: I love You
Girl: I have a boyfriend
Boy: sudo I love You
Girl: Please enter root password:
Boy: 123456789
Girl: Wrong. Please enter root password:
Boy: root
Girl: Wrong. Please enter root password:
Boy: qwerty
Girl: Wrong. You have tried 3 times.
Girl: I have boyfriend.
Boy: Dammit.
Girl: Command not found.

alias please=sudo

alias please="sudo"
please apt-get son

So I added
alias please=sudo
to my ~/.bashrc
so I can be more polite to my computer

I alias my "sudo" to "please" so I can practice being polite to my server and code more.

sudo apt-get random-tool

Traceback (most recent call last):

Aborting because there's a fork in the spoon compartment on line 43 in main

Error this script only works on Python 2.7 and maybe 4.1 on line 59 in main

Missing symbols when trying to decipher Sumerian recipe for steamed vegetables on line 67 in main

Cannot open shared object: Your OS is a bully and is hiding my files on line 98 in main

Are you sure all directories matching ^(/)?([^/\0]+(/)?)+$ are in your $PATH on line 268 in main

Your computer is kind of vibrating in an annoying way on line 332 in main

Failing because I'm feeling insecure please hold me on line 587 in main

I'm feeling confused about my sentience when running TensorFlow models on line 682 in main

FUCK

HAS ANYONE EVER MANAGED TO JUST FUCKING INSTALL A PYTHON BASED APPLICATION WITHOUT DEBUGGING RANDOM COMPUTER STATE SHIT AND DEPENDENCIES FOR THREE HOURS?

Dear uni, please don’t give us an ISO of a custom virtual machine that we are required to use, and then lock us into an account without admin or sudo privileges. It’s our VM, running on our own computers, with our own data. Wtf. I can’t even install a fucking text editor.

So here I am... thinking to myself how does this kid not know about the shift key?

Me: "Ok we're going to test see if you have sudo access. Please enter your password, now"
Student: ~stares at the black terminal box and begins pressing the caps lock key. The light doesn't display~
Student: "Um... what? Do I need to enter a new password?"
Me: "No"
Continues to click the caps-lock button and waiting for a light to appear on the keyboard. It doesn't. He continues clicking.
Me: "You need to press the shift button"
Him: "What???"
Me: "You need to press the shift button"
Him: "Um.. I don't understand"
Him: Presses shift button, nothing happens. Goes back to pressing caps lock button.
Me: "Your password has a capital letter in it right?"
Him: "Um... yeah."
Me: "Press the shift button to capitalize your letters."
Him: "I don't understand... Do I need to enter a new password?"
Me: "No... you need to press and hold the shift key to get a capital letter"
Him: "................................ ............................................ . . . . . .. .. .. .. .. .. . . . . . . . . . . . . ...................... . . . . . . . Oh..."
Him: "Presses and holds the shift button with his thumb and then presses the Z key."
Me: ~What in the hell are you doing?~ 🤦
Me: "Perfect it looks like you are a part of the sudoers list."
Me: "You can take you computer back."
Me: ~Do you fucking use the caps lock key to capitalize all the first letters in your sentences? Please tell me you don't!~

So in the new Ubuntu WSL there‘s this alias:
please=sudo
👌🏻😂

Me: rm -rf /
Bash: permission danied

Mom: don't forget the magin word 😊

Me: alias please="sudo"
please rm -rf /
Bash: BOOM ! 🎆

$ sudo pacman -Syu
*enter*
"283 updates available"

The only thing I can think of is:

Please, don't break my system.
Please, don't break my system.
Please, don't break my system.
Please, don't break my system.

'$ y' *enter*

*gives me creeping horrors*

"Please, click Add extension to close this page"

$ sudo killall chrome

$ sudo kill me please -fml

$ alias please="sudo"

$ please rm /* -r

anyone aliased sudo to "please" ?
heard you wouldn't need root after that, computers are kind machines.

Welcome to this week's episode of "sudo-woodo tries to get a single Python script merged", starring...

•The software architect so senior they were working here while I was still in pre-school. Wasn't added as a reviewer and was completely absent on this project for two months but came in on this PR with a few questions, including questioning design decisions they agreed on the last time they saw the project.
•The QA lead with ten years of experience... in Java. Has never even touched Python and asked to review, only for every issue raised but one stemming from not knowing the language.
•The CI guy. A script guru who will find a problem with literally anything. Honestly the most helpful person of the bunch.
•My coworker. Hasn't said anything yet.

please send help

!(!StrangeRant)
I want to have a program that makes programs.

----CONSOLE------------------------
$ sudo makep
(makep = make program)
$ makep > destroy the world and make that me and i are the only survivor
$ makep > select language > TrumpLang
$ makep > Please wait...
$ makep > Compiling...
Estimated time to finish: 1 million years later
(i died)
$ makep > .........
$ makep > Building...
Estimated time to finish: 1 million years later
$ makep > .........
(ok, so i wont wait 1 million years here, so lets say 1 million years passed)
$ makep > Running...
Estimated time to finish: 1 million years later
$ makep > .........
(ok, so i wont wait 1 million years here, so lets say 1 million years passed)
$ makep > Destroying...
$ makep > Finished!
$ makep > Press CTRL+F to shut down.
-----------------------------------

Earth stopped.

This computer is the only survivor.
While he was compiling, he got artificial intelligence.

He tried to survive.
Now the story begins.

The life of a computer.
Alone.

In theaters at 2018/04/01.

Buy tickets now!

IMDB / RT rated this movie 10/10
-----------
Footnotes
This movie is containing parental advisory content.

(This is sponsored by the awesome people at Turbo C and IBM)

The keyboards of original ThinkPad computers are easily the best which I have ever used.

alias please=sudo

Started a new job as a dev. First days revealed no local admin rights, no right to use Linux locally and a very limited set of Software. Negotiated compromise to get a remote VM with Linux and a user who is part of sudo. VM turned out to be isolated by proxy, so I can not install anything new. At least Docker is pre-installed and I hoped it could work out. But guess what no access to dockerhub and I can not pull any images. Admin told me to copy manually the images with scp.

I'd never thought that there could be any companies out there who treats devs like that. What puzzles me most, there're lot of devs staying with that company for years, even decades already and they're good guys, please don't get me wrong.

Did you encounter anything like that? Could you make any difference there, where you met anything like it.

I reached the point after 3 weeks where I do not think I can make any difference and when it'll take ages to move people and company policy.
I do not want to give up, but I fear it is pointless to fight for change there. I am out of options and about to leave asap. Can you recommend me anything else?

Thanks in advance and for your time :)
Felt good to write it down.

So LUA injector to Payday 2 requires on Linux certain library (libcurl3). So you know, sudo apt install libcurl3 and there you go!

You would think.

Apparently while you do that, the installation of libcurl3, it completely nukes your Steam installation... For some reason.
Can some please explain me, what the hell just happened? Please?

I've been using an arch based distro that really required pretty much nothing in terms of know-how to get it set up. Tonight, I randomly checked the ~/.bashrc file today and found some cute aliases.

# Help people new to Arch
alias apt-get='man pacman'
alias apt='man pacman'
alias helpme='cht.sh --shell'
alias please='sudo'
alias tb='nc termbin.com 9999'

You know, i think making a linux distro where it's ubuntu but "Sudo" is swapped with the word "Please" would be a good use of knowledge and time

When you see: "Agreeing to the Xcode/iOS license requires admin privileges, please re-run as root via sudo." in the Jenkins console log and realize that XCode was updated.

Wtf Fedora? I install the develop version of TheFuck to work on a plugin, all of a sudden dnf only runs with sudo but gives a module not found when run as normal user? Whyy?

Python import system is a bloody mess, 1 file somewhere with the wrong name and it imports the wrong thing which doesn't contain the thing and crashes.
Can't we just please have STATIC BINARIES? Please? Fml

Make's running but i'm piping its output to a log file so i'm slowly starting to feel as though i'm about to end up slipping and doing a "sudo chmod -x /mnt/human/consciousness -R" please help i'm so fucking tired man...