Sooo my friend asked my to become more active on steam and i did something about it! I'm going to be become the most activities steam user!

NodeMeme

When you don't pay your full stack developers

Windows, you fucking idiot! You scheduled that damn update and now you have the balls to ask me what happened?!

Finally sharing my desk! The team is allowed to work in a dark room, the proper environment for developers.

i started using reddit i few days ago

!r/ProgrammerHumor

Had to post this...

That's a scary pumpkin

"Is it just me or is Youtube down?"
YES
IT'S JUST YOU
THEY PICKED YOU OUT OF A BILLION USERS
AND TOOK IT DOWN
Sorry, good night.

Congratulations.

Please consider my questions StackOverflow 😭

Prank calls then:
"Is your refrigerator running?"
"Yes? Why?"
"Well... you better go catch it! Hehehe-" *click*

Prank calls now:
"Is your server running?"
"Yes? Why?"
"Well... you better update your privacy policy! Hehehe-" *click*

I'm so tired of so many fucking articles about millennials this and millennials that. Like holy fuck millennial has to be the journalism equivalent of AI or block chain.

Fucking hate users.

Freefilesyncs installer made my day.

Big event. Massive traffic in production, so we were monitoring all night.

I was in a room with 2 devs of my team, a marketting girl, my boss and a designer... chilling.

Suddenly the production is down.

Boss: production is down, anyone can check?
Me: already on it
Dev1: it looks ok for me
Dev2: me too
Me: wait what? Impossible everything is down
Dev1: oh I refreshed the page it's not working
Me: don't stay on the page refreshing it like you are fucking monkeys. Give me useful intel or be quiet.
Market girl: is it working?
...
Guys is it working?
...
Hello?
Me: Not yet we are looking. Don't distract me.
Boss: client called us. They want it online now.
Dev1&2: he's looking
... 1 min later...
Boss: is it working?
Boss: is it working?
Boss: is it working?
Me: SHUT THE FUCK FOR FUCKING ONE SECOND. ALL OF YOU, OUT NOW. YOU ARE FUCKING MONKEYS WHO CAN'T DO SHIT. IF YOU CAN'T HELP JUST SHUT YOUR DAMN SHITHOLE. DEVS, LOOK WITH ME. MARKET GIRL PREPARE A FUCKING POST-MORTEM MAIL. BOSS GET THE CLIENT ON THE PHONE AND STALE. DO. YOUR. FUCKING. JOBS.

That's how I ended up screaming at everyone... the rest of the night went in complete silence and I fixed the issue 2min after the got quiet or busy.

I think I'm losing it

"warranty void if seal is broken"
Me: "seal isn't broken"

I watched an anime just because I thought it is about programming.
"New Game!"
I have saw memes about it but when I watched season 1 it was all about an artist and graphic designer. So she had a programmer friend, so I watched season 2.
Fffffff it's just 2 little part related programming. Just give me a programming anime. :(
________________________________________
Just one more++ to 500

In Europe, we use € instead of $ in jQuery.

Dev: Microsoft is shit

VS Code: (ಥ⌣ಥ)

Dev: Oh not you dear! You're not like the other guys

VS Code: (｡◕‿◕｡)

I'm trying out a new rendering engine, it's pretty slow but I'm getting somewhere.

My (6 years old) client is sitting next to me and is kind of picky and tells me exactly what to do.

No payout though 🤔

How to become Android Developer with zero Programming knowledge?

1. Goto "About" option in your Android mobile.

2. Click "Build Number" continuously 5 times.

*tap* *tap* *tap* *tap* *tap*

Congratulations
"You are a Developer"
now :p

I had a secondary Gmail account with a really nice short nickname (from the early invite/alpha days), forwarded to another of my mailboxes. It had a weak password, leaked as part of one of the many database leaks.

Eventually I noticed some dude in Brazil started using my Gmail, and he changed the password — but I still got a copy of everything he did through the forwarding rule. I caught him bragging to a friend on how he cracked hashes and stole and sold email accounts and user details in bulk.

He used my account as his main email account. Over the years I saw more and more personal details getting through. Eventually I received a mail with a plaintext password... which he also used for a PayPal account, coupled to a Mastercard.

I used a local website to send him a giant expensive bouquet of flowers with a box of chocolates, using his own PayPal and the default shipping address.

I included a card:

"Congratulations on acquiring my Gmail account, even if I'm 7 years late. Thanks for letting me be such an integral part of your life, for letting me know who you are, what you buy, how much you earn, who your family and friends are and where you live. I've surprised your mother with a cruise ticket as you mentioned on Facebook how sorry you were that you forgot her birthday and couldn't buy her a nice present. She seems like a lovely woman. I've also made a $1000 donation in your name to the EFF, to celebrate our distant friendship"

Wouldn't say this is the worst thing, but this indentation really kills me.

Don't mind me, just writing maintainable, legible, commented and documented code. What's that, an email validation? Let me just
/^(([^<>()\[\]\.,;:\s@\"]+(\.[^<>()\[\]\.,;:\s@\"]+)*)|(\".+\"))@(([^<>()[\]\.,;:\s@\"]+\.)+[^<>()[\]\.,;:\s@\"]{2,})$/i

Just found the best dev ever.

https://alcohollick.com/tfw.html

Google => googled

Duck duck go => duck duck went?

🤔

The time my sister dropped the external HDD with every single picture of our family between 2000-2009.
I was 16 at the time, and it made me paranoid like I am today.

Three offsites backups, and three local ones currently and always trying to do expand.

A lot people want websites as big as Facebook in just 50$ 😂