Details
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AboutGerman student, web developer, server administrator Still learning stuff... I am a beginner :) Debian ❤ Windows 7 ❤
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SkillsMySQL, PHP, HTML, CSS
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LocationGermany
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Website
Joined devRant on 1/28/2017
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I honestly think that a company as big as Snapchat, that focuses their entire business idea around using the phone cameras, should be less lazy. I mean why the F do they not use the camera modules on Android phones but instead simply takes screenshots of the preview? Makes the pictures look horrible, no matter the phone camera...
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Just called Asus for a problem with my router, went to send them my systemlog.txt for analysis
"Oh we don't have an email you can send that to"
Me: "(me calling bullshit) let me talk to the tech team.."
*Get transferred*
"Hello this is the supervisor"
Me: "fml"
"Ya we don't have an email you can send that to, but we can use a different departments verification services to get a file from you, has to be a picture though"
Me: "What? I got a .txt file here, I just want to get it to you, does it really have to be a picture?"
"Has to be a picture or a PDF, we can't take txt files"
Me: "fkin.. srsly? Fine"
I can't believe Asus's system srsly. I think it's for virus protection, but viruses can be embedded in both picture formats and PDF, but not in txt. So wtf is going on lol15 -
Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 204 No Content
Me: 200 OK
Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 413 Payload Too Large
Me: 102 Processing
Me: 200 OK
Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 444 Connection Closed Without Response
Me: 200 OK
Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 444 Connection Closed Without Response
Me: 429 Too Many Requests
Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Me: 101 Switching Protocols
Me: 408 Request Timeout
GF: 102 Processing
Me: GET /sleep
Sleep: 404 Not Found
Me: 406 Not Acceptable
(Morning)
Me: 501 Not Implemented19 -
Parents who, despite clearly seeing a code on my monitor think that I'm playing games, and need to nag me to study cause they "rarely see me with the textbook".
I'm in an IT university and explaining that everything's in PDF or just online doesn't help9 -
6 months of internship made me realize that solving other peoples bugs is my biggest distraction.
Apparently I enjoy solving bugs more than writing clean code from scratch. 😐5 -
It finally hit me the other day.
I'm working on an IoT project for a late-stage ALS patient. The setup is that he has a tablet he controls with his eye movements, and he wants to be able to control furnishings in his room without relying on anyone else.
I set up a socket connection between his tablet and the Raspberry Pi. From there it was a simple matter of using GPIO to turn a lamp or fan on or off. I did the whole thing in C, even the socket programming on the Pi.
As I was finishing up the main control of the program on the Pi I realized that I need to be more certain of this than anything I've ever done before.
If something breaks, the client may be forced to go days without being able to turn his room light on, or his fan off.
Understand he is totally trapped in his own body so it's not like he can simply turn the fan off. The nursing staff are not particularly helpful and his wife is tied up a lot with work and their two small children so she can't spend all day every day doting on him.
Think of how annoying it is when you're trying to sleep and someone turns the light on in your room; now imagine you can't turn it off yourself, and it would take you about twenty minutes to tell someone to turn it off -- that is once you get their attention, again without being able to move any part of your body except your eyes.
As programmers and devs, it's a skill to do thorough testing and iron-out all the bugs. It is an entirely different experience when your client will be depending on what you're doing to drastically improve his quality of life, by being able to control his comfort level directly without relying on others -- that is, to do the simplest of tasks that we all take for granted.
Giving this man some independence back to his life is a huge honor; however, it carries the burden of knowing that I need to be damned confident in what I am doing, and that I have designed the system to recover from any catastrophe as quickly as possible.
In case you were wondering how I did it all: The Pi launches a wrapper for the socket connection on boot.
The wrapper launches the actual socket connection in a child process, then waits for it to exit. When the socket connection exits, the wrapper analyzes the cause for the exit.
If the socket connection exited safely -- by passing a special command from the tablet to the Pi -- then the wrapper exits the main function, which allows updating the Pi. If the socket connection exited unexpectedly, then the Pi reboots automatically -- which is the fastest way to return functionality and to safeguard against any resource leaks.
The socket program itself launches its own child process, which is an executable on the Pi. The data sent by the tablet is the name of the executable on the Pi. This allows a dynamic number of programs that can be controlled from the tablet, without having to reprogram the Pi, except for loding the executable onto it. If this child of the socket program fails, it will not disrupt its parent process, which is the socket program itself.13 -
I know a lot of you already know/do this, but to those of you who don't - I know it has saved me more than once:
If you use SSMS (SQL Server Management Studio) - when connecting to a server, before you hit the "connect" button, under options, choose a color to represent which server you are connecting to. I personally use stoplight colors: red = prod, yellow = QA, green = dev....this way, it helps you realize what server you are connected to, minimizing our dreaded "oh shit" moments....lol
Hopefully this helps someone ☺6 -
Customer: So I have operating system corruption? What does that mean?
Me: *thinks for a moment* Okay, so you have a bag of potato chips, right? And you're looking forward to eating those potato chips. However, when you open the bag, there are only crumbs because the guy in front of you in line had accidentally stepped on the bag and crushed them all.
Customer: ...Okay...
Me: So what we can do is we can grab a can of Pringles--because Pringles are delicious--and dump those in the bag. That way you have a good, full bag of uncrushed digital potato chips.
Customer: I like that, let's do it!
Coworker: ...why are you talking about digital potato chips?8 -
Me: my computer is dead, are you using the iMac?
Sister: your computer is dead because of the coding! Even my friend agrees that coding causes viruses17 -
QA: There is a bug in your program, it doesn't work !
DEV: What? It is working on my machine, let me show you *opens app*
QA: Well, then I will tell our clients to use your machine every time they want the app
DEV: ...7 -
Me and my girlfriend are arguing, because I'm programming a lot and I don't have time to give her attention. She said if I don't give her attention, she will break up with me.
Any suggestion where I can find a good tutorial for C#?37 -
Heard a conversation between my colleague and the boss
Boss: (saw my colleague's messy desk) hey, could you organize your desk? It's not nice to see when clients come in. You know what they say, messy desk represents a messy brain..
Colleague: (glanced over to the boss' empty desk) and what does an empty desk say for the brain?12 -
HR: How many years you've been developing on Android ?
Me: Two years, with many projects on my own.
HR: So, you're familiar with Android Studio?
Me: No, I've been using "Paint" to code.37 -
(overheard parents talking)
Mum: I'm worried about our son, I guess he was hacking today
Dad: What? [Chuckle] No. He's not that grown up enough. Prolly programming.
Mum: But, the screen was all blue and there was nothing but text on it. And then suddenly it went blank. So, I asked him what he was doing and he said it was a BSOD. That sounds scary NSA level stuff.
Dad: it isn't [came out of the room, saw me there]
(And we laughed and laughed and laughed)4 -
!rant
Finally finished my electric longboard, extremely pleased with the end result.
Did some tests with it, 30km range and +-40km/h top speed29 -
Train conversation between 3 girls:
A: "Oh, I've got 4G.. "
B: "What, we have 4G!?"
C: "OMG I HATE 4G!"
A: "Yeah, it's almost as slow as E"
C: "I know, right?!"
.....
Kill me pls16 -
I find it hard to take people serious when they keep telling me to 'ssh into the server' ...like shhhh, not S.S.H7
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1998 talk: Copy the Internet
I was surfing the web on my good old windows 98 pc, a younger friend comes to my place and sees me using IE. Sudently he asks:
Friend: What is that program?
Me: It's Internet Explorer.
Fr: - What is it for?
Me: - Well, you can write something here, (url), to go to different sites, search for stuff you like, participate in foruns, etc...
Fr: - Oh yeah, I know what that is, my cousin also has that in his PC, but I don't.
...(Little pause)...
- Can you copy the internet for me? Because I don't have it.
Me: You can't copy the Internet! You need a phone connection.
Fr - But I'll give you a floppy disk, you put that program there, and then I can use it too.
Me - The shortcut won't give you Internet!
I think I ended up copying the shortcut of IE to him, just to prove my point.
The funny thing is that the link really worked because he also had IE in his machine, while not in the workspace, however it was exactly in the same folder location as mine, but obviously he didn't had a wired phone connection.
Fr - "Maybe I need to copy something more! The program opens but it doesn't show anything."7 -
Everyone that finds out you're an app dev: "So I have this multimillion $$$ idea!"
Me: "I'll do it for $100."
Everyone: "$100!? I'm giving you the chance to be part of the next best thing!"
Me: "Well I guess the 'next best thing' isn't even worth $100."
I literally don't even like telling people what I do 😒5 -
My first job was a statistical program that i wrote during a trainee at a local IT department.
My boss liked it and told me I could keep the sources and the copyright.
Then he made some phone calls and helped me to find my first clients.
Since that time I am working on the same program.
I founded a software company and have a good life now.
My old boss retired some years ago, but some of the team are still there.
From time to time I visit the department having a coffee with old friends.
That trainee was nearly 30 years ago.12