Afternoon spend arguing about small cosmetic changes in code-review effectivelly delaying the release. Feel so productive and understand why everything takes us so long. But looking forward to next week so time sunked in code-review will be larger than the development time.

You realize you reached the top of your career when you are on top management meeting discussing actual freaking bikeshed! It's not an urban story! Those meeting actually happen! And actually few months later we got a real bikeshed on our parking lot!

Only downside was that there was almost no bikesheding on the bikeshed meeting :-/

My boss was fired and now I have to answer to his boss. "I have this issue with your product, can you make it mire idiot prood?" Well, sure, we just didn't met so persistent idiot up to now...

Hey, glad you are here (10 am), you know that we got new prototypes with those various changes? We need to send one to CEO in hour and half, he wants to show off at some event, can you make it?

Well that's the way to start a day...

Marketing pushed deadline for release one week earlier. That sucks.

What sucks even more is that frontend was not ready, but our frontend guy promised to take a look over the weekend and finish it. Thats cool we might make.

What sucks is that he fixed one small issue on Sunday 9PM and left the whole thing unusable.

So guess who was googling till 4am how to do stuff in bloody javascript?

In the end, I beleive I did a decent job and we ca release some kind of alpha and get rid of my dirty hacks later. That's how you get technical debt.

Now lets see what my boss thinks about it and if we are really going to release it or if I'm going to kill somebody.

Tommorrow is the day! The day we realease on! And I still don't have a final frontend to integrate, build, test and prepare to deploy.

So tonight is the night! The night I will be doing webdesign and googling how to do it with my 'functionality beats design' and 'terminal is the best UI ever' attitude :-)

Finally end of the week. All that is left is a little polishing over the weekend for Monday release. Like get the lastest code from all the developers, put it together and hope it somehow works and fix whatever doesn't :-/

When the best event of the day is a business phonecall and you are a developer.

Customer actually gets what we do, is excited about it and is willing to put in some effort.

Working hard to meet crazy deadline to finish last update before new product announcement to make it look better. Our CEO blabs about new top secret product at some conference throwing away all marketing efforts up to date and putting marketing team into panic mode. Result? They moved the announcement date without discussing it with development. Result? Our efforts and overtimes wasted and we are announcing product before it is ready. End result? I'm pissed so I wrote angry e-mail to our CEO. Wondering what will happen now :-) But with unfinished announced product and crazy deadlines they need me a lot more than I need them.

Came to work and there ware my boss and CEO waiting there next to my place.

"Hey, you remember that you mentioned yesterday that you had a break through and the thing is finally starting to do something? We have few journalist downstairs can we show them a demo in like five minutes?"

"Ok, give me five minutes and don't click here and there otherwise it blows up."

My boss came back from presentation after ten minutes that it doesn't work, after little investigation turns out to be hw issue, replaced hardware went to the conference room and it worked.

Crazy deadlines? No, just another day at work.

Customer: It doesn't do what we wanted it to do, we have this issue, this particular usecase doean't work because you didn't use the patch we sent you. Please use it!

Me: I used most of it, I just fixed few broken parts and dropped part handling the hardware you realized you don't have and I just retested this particular usecase and it works!

I'm just a developer. So why the heck do I have to spend whole days talking to potential bussiness partners, discussing possible deals, preparing plan for next year and organizing various coworkers (including some managers) to fulfil the other deal that I haven't helped to negotiate. If I wanted to track so many things, speak to so many people and not write a single line of code whole days, I would have became manager and would ask for different salary!

Salt is awesome, no questions about that. YAML is giving me headaches, but it's my fault and eventually I'll get used to it. But this being my first encounter with jinja, WHO THE HELL THOUGHT THIS PIECE OF CRAP DESERVES TO LIVE! Instead of writing python inside {% %} you have to write kinda pseudo python and I just spend over hour trying to build list inside for. Yes, great idea, scoping fors, and lets make it hard to escape scoping, beacause it would be a shame if somebody COULD ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING USEFULL. I though several times of using different renderer, but I want to keep my code readable and mainrainable and in the end I found a workaround, but still, Jinja, YOU SUCK!

Release we wanted to do this week is totally broken and I need to fix it, at the same time I need to prepare my presentation for conference on Friday and I just got mail from my boss that he wants elaborate report from the last conference. When the heck am I supposed to do all that in just two days?

If you are a father and you find out your kind produced a pile of shit, you change the diaper and get rid of it all. No questions asked.

If you are a developer and your colleague produces pile of shit and you try to get rid of it, you end up in meetings how this piece if shit is actually master piece of shit and have to argue about it to manager that knows shit about a shit.

So my ISP just called me again that I'm sending plenty of spam. This time, I have all flows logged, so I know for sure that it wasn't my TV (only vulnerable device with internet access) and as my switch was offline there is nothing in front of my router anymore. And I learned that all the spam was going directly to their smtp server which I never used and didn't even know they have some. All in all everything points to their cable modem. Will tell them that in response to the mail they promised to send me. Really looking forward to new at least a little bit competent ISP (alternative should be available soon).

Finally got some time today to cleanup my inbox after three weeks of almost non-stop emergency. Came home from work, sat down in front of my computer and got a call from unknown number. Answered it and it was my ISP telling me that I have virus in my network and was spamming everybody and they cut off my internet. I know they are pretty useless and only kinda semi-IT literate. Took me an hour to convince them restore my connection with blocked port 25. Suricata log of all my traffic shows that nothing in my network communicated to port 25, the only possibilities are managed switch in front of my router I didn't managed to get into yet which should have managing interface on completely different VLAN and their router. Or mess in their system. My guess is their system is a mess. Will see how it works out tommorrow.

Finally got that damn web app to send out mails (2am). Turned out mail server worked, rails was properly configured, delayed jobs were running and were getting proper rights and environment. The issue was wrong configuration in app itself (somebody skipped part of the wizard). But still, fixing somebody's else server with webapp I know just a little about in languages I know even less about (not a web developer) after few guys failed and just within five hours, makes me feel both dumb (should have noticed much sooner) and proud (figured it out in the end).

"Did you manage to reproduce this issue in-house?"

Yes, off course we managed to reproduce your fucking random reboot issue that happen to two in thousand customers and might happend just after boot of after several hours or days or not at all when you, as you said yourself, were doing nothing. While at it we also turned lead to gold, water to wine and resurected Elvis (although he is a little bit grumpy and mumbles something about brains).

Two architectures to support, on one everything went smoothly, other one I spend since Monday till yesterday 2am to make it work. Now time for half-day meeting and if it compiles in the meantime, I can release today before leaving work. Sounds like a solid plan, Friday afternoon release. What could go wrong? And I hoped it will work nicelly on Monday, latest Tuesday.

Some developers incopetence can be limitless. I found e-shop which uses creative but totally silly way of integrating with e-mails. See my last rant (they send e-mail with my 'From' to themselves). As I sent them delivery report (I have SPF enabled) and wrote them what is wrong, they apologized when I came to pick up the goods and were glad that I forwarded the report (otherwise my order would be quite delayed). But hey, everything is fine, they are working on new e-shop. I said great, hopefully it wouldn't be this messed up. And I was told that yeah, the new one will block .net and .com addresses right away. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? How can somebody use their incompetence as a reason to screw up even more! So next time, I'll probably use my local e-mail with SPF enabled to tech them to blick all e-mails and do stuff properly.

Aaarrgghh! Stupidity of some webdevelopers! Ordering new battery on e-shop and got in my mail devilery report from one freemail service. Checking what kind of spam it is and those lazy bastards are taking my full order and sending it with my e-mail addresses in From to their freemail account. Which correctly rejects it based on SPF as the freemail suprisingly does its job well. Who the hell thought this would be a good idea? Grrrr!

For some reason github is returning 503 on our build servers randomly. And I need to checkout several repositories to build everything successfully. Builds are automatic and I don't want to maintain local mirror. And we wanted to release tomorrow (but were smart enough to promise this week). And on top of everything build takes six hours and sometime fails randomly even without github. But I'm still optimistic - it's Monday after all. We still have enough time to make it in time for Friday release :-)

"Configuring incomplete, errors occurred!" Ok, I get that. But would it kill you to tell me what errors? If you behave like an asshole, I'll hate you as well!

Created Linux instalation flashdrive on my notebook like thousand times before. Simple dd if=img of=/dev/sdb . Tried installing system from it but somehow doesn't work. And the it hit me. I have both magmetic drive and SSD in my laptop! So insted of flashdrive, I have bootable beging of my SSD where my encrypted lvm used to be :-( Luckilly I lost just EFI, boot, swap, rootfs, few git repositories and ccache.

Fun meeting ahead, coworker that writes unreadable code (and insists that it is the best code ever) is going to complain that nobody wants to work with him.

Managed to get Salt Stack working, feels so poweefull! I can feel all my machines at my fingertips. So overwhelming!

Aaarrgghhh! That piece of crap build system we use is acting again. Nobody touched it, nobody had time to replace it with something reasonable and now it starts not building as far as I can tell random parts of system. I guess it can sense we wanted to release :-/ So no time for any nice project and back to kicking its shit together :-(

Colleague of mine deployed application using @reboot target in crom, LD_PRELOAD and screen. The only positive thing is I'm not responsible for infra :-)

Am I weird if I decline lucrative job offers just to have a job that is fun and kinda meaningful even if I don't push my limits here, but they really can use my expertise? On related note, is there a bag of money that would convince you to do some boring job in corporate environment working on some fucked up internal systems of some fucked up bank? I found out that twice my current salary is not enough but tempting. Am I weird?