Me Vs a PHP teacher

Him:
And to do login, we just do SELECT username WHERE password = (userinput)

Me:
Really? Checking raw userinput against plaintext password?

Him:
There is no point in doing it securely here because if they want, the students can go take a seperate course on security

Me:
So no point in teaching students that they should write their code secure by default and just leave it as a afterthought?

Him:
Yes, because this is how i have always done it

Me:
———

Him:
Okay, time for a break
*leaves room*

Me:
*Uses the break to teach all students about sql injection, password hash and salt, rainbow tables and user input sanitizing*

Him:
*comes back*

Students to teacher:
He's right, if you dont teach us to code securely by default, we are likely to end up causing a data leak or be hacked, if you dont teach us properly we have no point coming here

Me:
*Smiles at the teacher with a face that says: Pwnd*

Him:
Alright then, tell me whats wrong in my code

I was so proud that i helped the class understand secure by default principles

When you want to contribute but Stackoverflow says "fuck no".

I wrote a Student Information system for my midterm project back in 94 written in Clipper and runs on MS-DOS.

I demoed & explained to the panel of professors how it tracks enrollments, payments, class schedules, grades and attendance of each and every student. Has user authentication, auditing and reporting functionalities.
It has a lite version also written in Clipper that can be installed on a Professor's laptop so that he/she can update records even at home, and would be able to sync with the db at school via a BBS. Telix for DOS (self-taught) was my choice for the BBS as it was shareware, has built-in Zmodem support and comes with it's own programming language called SALT (Script Application Language for Telix) that can be used for automating tasks. The lite version of my project would dump the updates on an ASCII file, compress the file using PKZIP, use the laptop's modem to dial-up the number to the school's BBS and send the file across using Zmodem protocol.
The main version would then download the file(s) from the BBS and proceed to do a sync.

After the doing the demo and answering all their questions the panel asked me to wait outside the room, called me back in after 15mins and told me that I don't have to attend that class for the remainder of the term. The happiness as the my classmates outside of the room gawked at me felt like King Midas himself gave my balls his golden touch.

Then in 97, 2yrs after I graduated, I accompanied my cousins to a different campus of the same school for their enrollment and right there on the bottom of the screen were my initials on a very very familiar UI! They actually used, and were still using, my school project. Needless to say my cousins didn't believe that it was written by me.

Do you salt passwords? Yes...
Ladys and Gentlemen my father

When you properly comment your code.

The twisted life of a software engineer

//Salt

Project Manager: You used a hash/salt to encrypt the password in our customer database?

Me: Yes.

Project Manager: That's mean we will not be able to see the password?

Me: That's the whole point. Why would you want to see what password customer is choosing?

Project Manager: Change it. Use random encryption method.

I was registering for a website, and on a whim, I used this as my username:
null'); PRINT('Hello');--

And sure enough, the login system went down. The next day it was still down, so I went to Twitter to tell the people running the site that this was why, but to my surprise, I see them saying they had been hacked.
Based on the timing, I'm pretty sure they're referring to this, but they are saying user info was stolen. *facepalm*
They later said they stored passwords salted with a fixed salt and hashed with fucking md5, at which point I was glad not to have done any more business with them.

How incompetent can these fucking people be?!

Don't fucking insinuate that I'm wrong. I WILL DESTROY YOU WITH DATA.

So, someone at the factory put in a ticket that says the expedited truck carriers are showing up in the wrong place. I emailed my boss that's it's by design, has been for a while, as a result of business rules and sales wanting it to be shown as priority.

Then he passes it up the chain to see if the requested change should go through. The plant manager says his guys at the plant say it changed recently.

Then I respond "no, sorry, no changes recently. It's actually been that way at least 5 years."

He then responds "Well, my guys think it changed recently, and if it had been 'at least 5 years' they would have noticed by now."

Oh fuck no, motherfucker. You do not quote me saying I'm wrong. We have fucking version control to see the changes I have fucking proof.

At this point I'm shaking. Nothing pisses me off more than people saying I'm wrong, and nothing excites me more than telling people they're wrong. We have an overlap.

So then I go back and back and back in the blame, find the exact change and ticket for when this started happening. Email all this data to my boss. He then takes the pettiness and salt out of my tone and forwards it pretty much saying "actually, we have exact proof that it happened 6 years, 7 months ago. Here's your proof."

This happened early morning. No respond the rest of the day. That's fucking right.

This teacher who sells MD5 without salt as an unhackable hashing method in 2018

Yahoo

Modern software has gotten so bad that it even gets sluggish at times on late 2018 flagship devices. Slow, cheap hardware like is usually developers' and fanboys' excuse, particularly when it comes to Windows stuff? Like hell it is.

Software "engineering" has become so.. terribly inefficient. I'd dare any developer worth their salt to rewrite their program to make it work on an early 2000's machine. After all, those can run pretty advanced GUI's, have a reasonable amount of hardware (just think about how large a gigabyte of RAM really is) yet should be able to make for a reasonable limitation set.

Hardware limitations are the mother of optimization. Not every person on the planet has a 32-core Xeon workstation with 64GB of DDR4 RAM and a GTX Titan in it. Whether your application performs reasonably well on your machine shouldn't be the metric. Try deploying it on that laptop you tucked into a shelf years ago and reevaluate.. please.

And definitely you Slack!! Slacking off, is that what inspired the name of that pile of junk?! 😡

You know you've had to deal with a tough database problem at work when you start seeing SQL in your own kitchen... (It says SOL meaning salt)

P.s. I sure hope this is how these memes work, because I want my avatar

Immagine that you microwave a burrito, and it turns out perfectly. But if you add one grain of salt to it, the microwave will blow up. That's what the code I'm working in right now is like...

😿🔫

1. Promise anything, everything to clients
2. Set unrealistic deadlines
3. Devs can't meet deadlines
4. Blame the devs

Anyone?

!security

(Less a rant; more just annoyance)

The codebase at work has a public-facing admin login page. It isn't linked anywhere, so you must know the url to log in. It doesn't rate-limit you, or prevent attempts after `n` failures.

The passwords aren't stored in cleartext, thankfully. But reality isn't too much better: they're salted with an arbitrary string and MD5'd. The salt is pretty easy to guess. It's literally the company name + "Admin" 🙄

Admin passwords are also stored (hashed) in the seeds.rb file; fortunately on a private repo. (Depressingly, the database creds are stored in plain text in their own config file, but that's another project for another day.)

I'm going to rip out all of the authentication cruft and replace it with a proper bcrypt approach, temporary lockouts, rate limiting, and maybe with some clientside hashing, too, for added transport security.

But it's friday, so I must unfortunately wait. :<

They removed the salt and pepper shakers from the tables in the cantine, because they are sources of infections.

...buuuut they keep an open salad bar.

Vacation without code
Like
Food without salt

"Please read attached email trail"

Fuck you.

Current state of devRant for the past ~2 weeks in regards to GDPR and GitHub.

Why the FUCK wouldn't you use a salt on passwords?!!!??

Manager: I'm so sorry to say but your collegue A has passed away yesterday afternoon. There will obviously be flowers etc and we'll try to support her family as much as we can..

Me: Oh, no. My deepest condolences. (I'm always bad at saying much in situations like this, but)

B: My gosh! So does this mean A's family also caught it??!? (Corona)

Manager: She died in a car accident.

...
Also how unfortunate. Due to the lockdown, a ton of the people use the roads as a racing track around here...

Can you pass me the salt? 😃

Don't be afraid to question senior devs as you go through your career. You'll learn a lot yourself, and any senior worth their salt will be open to the dialog. You'll learn a lot about the topic and potentially about the people you work with. Never stop learning and stay relevant with technology.

*Extreme security measures on the backend, it must be failsafe, every db is as redundant as possible, generated salt, 2fa, everything*

*Forgets to add a case for {"key":""}*

I would blame it on the team but i built the entire backend myself.

Him: "No developer worth his salt puts each of his brackets on a new line."

Me: "I mean... I agree it's uglier but your whitespace commit means we git blame you for everything."

Him (upset): "You BLAME me? I'm sorry I have standards."

Me: "Not blame blame, git blame like the history view of the-"

....too late he reverts his commit and hates me for life.

I wasn't even disagreeing, I was trying to explain git blame. :(

When I learnt programming, sugar was still made out of salt and hence not used in coffee.

Also, we didn't have source level debuggers, only the "print" method. However, compiling was also slow. It was faster and more convenient to go through the program and execute the statements in one's head. This helped understanding what code is doing just by reading it. It also kept people from trial and error programming, something that some people fall for when they resort to single step debugging in order to understand what their own code is even doing.

Compiling was slow because computers in general were slow, like single digit MHz. That enforced programming efficient code. It's also why we learnt about big Oh notation already at school. Starting with manual resource management helped to get a feeling for what's going on under the hood.

My LinkedIn profile: Open to remote opportunities, or those in Hawaii. Need to stay local for family reasons.

Recruiter DMs: "Interested in an opportunity in:

Denver?
Nashville?
Connecticut?
Oklahoma?
Salt Lake?
...

-_-

Fuck you Citrix you piece of shit!

well shit this is in the git history now...

Am I doing it wrong?

"Lightweight rant"

Good job, devs of Sparkasse.
Time to "jobn't" y'all.
That error message is very informational.

I know it is because of the time counter being at 0 and I need to relogin to reset it, but what if I was a regular dumb client? To add more salt into it, what if I was someone in his 90s.

Do your fucking job properly.

Edit: The error message translates to "Error", "Error" and "Close"

I heard scary thing.
A tester found an issue yesterday. He came to the dev and reported about it. Apparently the only feedback message was "something went wrong". They spend almost an hour hunting down the cause for that. It turned out the error message was from one of the try-catch. I do not know much details apart from that. At the end, the dev lead said this (which he had said before).

"That's why I don't like to catch exception."

Fuck our new project manager.

Literally all she does in her time is schedule meetings for others and send us emails stating that X needs to be done by date or why are we delayed with Y. Then she even manages to completely screw us with the meetings she schedules.

Today I woke up to seeing a beautiful gapless column of colorful rectangles in my dairy.... for today. And last time I saw this Monday it only had 2.5 hours of meetings!!

Now a lot of us from our team had the Friday afternoon off so it may be that she did this beautiful piece of artwork during that time, in which case she could somewhat rightfully say that we should have taken a look at it. But we actually have a convention to only schedule planning meetings for Mondays which these fucking aren't and even if she hadn't known this, who the fuck schedules a ton of meetings to Monday?! from a Friday afternoon?!?!

By the way the new pretty pink and orange meetings I have today are about actually important topics in between which I would normally appreciate to grab a tea or at least use the fucking restroom. Officially I only have a 45 minute lunch break all day.

Oh and naturally she sets up the meetings as organiser so that we can only suggest her new times and can't change it on our own.

But naturally PM lady never actually attends the meetings because she wouldn't understand shit. So when my fav female colleague, Sammy and I joined our 11am meeting, the first thing Sammy said - well after I greeted her by "wtf" - is to just leave the call on while we grab brunch.

So here I am sitting in the close by park with my brunch and thought I could use the now extended lunch break time efficiently by ranting my ass of and asking you guys why the fuck such people like our PM get paid.

I quit abusive relationship. I quit smoking. I quit vaping salt nicotine, yes, the one that vape bloggers tell you is impossible to quit. I overcame opioid drugs addiction that developed when I recovered after a surgery back in 2015.

My last addiction is sugar. Yesterday night was the night when I ate about 100 grams of it in one take, feeling like I need more and more to take that hunger away. It felt EXACTLY like when I was hitting my 50mg vape literally every 20 seconds no matter the headache and dizziness.

I’m already insulin-resistant. After I’ve eaten all that sugar I felt really thirsty and then it hit me. I don’t want diabetes. I don’t want to inject myself. And I’m already insulin-resistant. It’s not me who crave sugar, it’s my internal animal and it only understands the language of pain and fear of death.

After I quit it, I’m officially a superhuman. Addicted to nothing but self-expression. That’s what I like, that’s who I naturally am.

English teacher :prepare a recipe of your favorite meal
Me :yeah sure
Title :how to prepare md5 seasoned with salt.
Procedure :
$salt="*+3256_$@";
$userpass="12345aeiou";
$md5hash=md5($userpass.$salt);
echo $md5hash;

WANKETEERING FUCKING CUNTS!!!!!

Just now I had this great incident with rosé wine hitting my couch (on a Monday, yet another reason to hate that fucking shit day). If that is you dear Google searcher, let me tell you this. GRAB YOUR FUCKING SALT, AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN AND POUR IT ON THERE IMMEDIATELY!!!

(edit: seems to work quite well for sucking up the wine moisture, not sure about smell or discoloration.. so far so good)

At least that's what a wanketeering cunt told me after having me read through 5 minutes of their dribble. While the motherfucker explicitly mentions that you're on a time limit, mind you!!! Because you know, fuck your goddamn couch, I want that fraction of a cent in ad money, that oh you've blocked it? I have no fucking idea. But waste your time on my shitsite nonetheless!!!

You know what, marketeering motherfucking dickhead. If that salt isn't going to fix my goddamn fucking couch, how about I take your goddamn shitsite down for the next FUCKING MONTH, HUH?!! Just to make up for the hundreds of fucking euros that a motherfucking couch is worth?! That'll serve you fucking right for pissing off a hacker!!! MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

Found that out that one of our company's internal API (I hope it's only internal) is exposing some personal data. After finally getting the right people involved they said they'd fix it 'immediately'.

5 days later I check and now there is more personal data exposed...which includes personal security questions and the hashed answers to said questions.

And of course they are using a secure hashing mechanism...right? Wrong. md5, no salt

Sigh...

OK, so I get that we don't have a great reputation for dating but at the same time it's kinda rubbing salt in the wound when a dev company organises a global coding challenge for valentines day.

Every time I got a mandatory security question, I type in "go fuck yourself with a cactus". There's only one answer for all of them.

So, now that companies are used to "WFH", maybe we can agree upon a better office for tech companies?

I do actually think the more "ideal" tech company office wouldn't have to be expensive.

It can be smaller. Any tech company worth it's salt should have discovered in the last few months that it's not just devs who can work from home. Sales, support, management — you really don't need to fight your way through highway traffic or cram yourself into a sweaty subway every day.

There's value in having an office. Not everyone can fit a good workspace in their apartment.

But we could at least center it around:

1. A bunch of small, completely soundproof isolation booths, for those who need a focus space, and can't find a silent spot at home.

2. A social lounge space, a communal living room with couches, a bar, creative relaxing stuff, whiteboards, etc. WFH can become depressing even for the most antisocial employees, chilling on a couch with some coworkers to brainstorm ideas or chat about random tech is valuable for building good relationships with your team.

The "open plan office" with rows of desks and monitors, no matter how luxuriously decorated with vertical gardens and hipster desks from reclaimed wood, can go die a fiery painful death.

I either want to work, or socialize.

Open plan offices (and it's even more dystopian suicide-inducing cousin, the cubicle) are like being unable to choose between fucking and a blowjob, so you end up humping a navel.

Oh, and conference rooms, go fuck yourself as well. I want to be able to minimize your ugly face if you plan to talk about company financial reports for 2 hours.

I don't hate Java, seriously.

I just prefer spending my first hours with a language actually programming in it rather than fixing shitty uninformative errors and learning libraries that follow no standards.

Pour your salt below.

SQL injection holes everywhere... The original author of the product put concatenated SQL queries throughout the whole application. If it's not the client asked for a penetration test, we as developers wouldn't even be given chance to fix this shit.

I'm actually glad to have the chance. I can't live seeing them every day but force myself to ignore them.

So recently I did a lot of research into the internals of Computers and CPUs.
And i'd like to share a result of mine.

First of all, take some time to look at the code down below. You see two assembler codes and two command lines.

The Assembler code is designed to test how the instructions "enter" and "leave" compare to manually doing what they are shortened to.

Enter and leave create a new Stackframe: this means, that they create a new temporary stack. The stack is where local variables are put to by the compiler. On the right side, you can see how I create my own stack by using

push rbp
mov rbp, rsp
sub rsp, 0

(I won't get into details behind why that works).

Okay. Why is this even relevant?
Well: there is the assumption that enter and leave are very slow. This is due to raw numbers:
In some paper I saw ( I couldn't find the link, i'm sorry), enter was said to use up 12 CPU cycles, while the manual stacking would require 3 (push + mov + sub => 1 + 1 + 1).

When I compile an empty function, I get pretty much what you'd expect just from the raw numbers of CPU cycles.

HOWEVER, then I add the dummy code in the middle:

mov eax, 123
add eax, 123543
mov ebx, 234
div ebx

and magically - both sides have the same result.

Why????

For one thing, there is CPU prefetching. This is the CPU loading in ram before its done executing the current instruction (this is how anti-debugger code works, btw. Might make another rant on that). Then there is the fact that the CPU usually starts work on the next instruction while the current instruction is processing IFF the register currently involved isnt involved in the next instruction (that would cause a lot of synchronisation problems). Now notice, that the CPU can't do any of that when manually entering and leaving. It can only start doing the mov eax, 1234 while performing the sub rsp, 0.

----------------

NOW: notice that the code on the right didn't take any precautions like making sure that the stack is big enough. If you sub too much stack at once, the stack will be exhausted, thats what we call a stack overflow. enter implements checks for that, and emits an interrupt if there is a SO (take this with a grain of salt, I couldn't find a resource backing this up). There are another type of checks I don't fully get (stack level checks) so I'd rather not make a fool of myself by writing about them.

Because of all those reasons I think that compilers should start using enter and leave again.

========

This post showed very well that bare numbers can often mislead.

First of all how the fuck you are able to tell that MY password is one of many that have been stolen? How you are able to get those stolen passwords AND WHY YOU ARE EVEN ABLE TO COMPARE THEM?! Are you storing as plain text or just randomly salt all stolen passwords and chceck if they are in your base?

Now that is an INSTAdelete.

Worst dev experience was when I was asked to "take a look at" a propriatery Windows app built by a now non-existent team at the company.

The code base resembled the quality of legacy code where about every hour I felt like I needed to vomit. But that wasn't even the worst part for me.

This was the first time I had to develop on Windows and was sent a separate dedicated laptop for this. Now I started to have a bad feeling about this because as far as I had known every single dev at the company used company Macs for development (including me for other projects). It turned out the Windows laptop was indeed configured for a non-dev team :)

Having liased with IT admins for a day I finally got my environment set up and hit install on the dependencies and in 10 minutes it got to less than 10%. The laptop was pretty powerful so I couldn't belive wtf was going on, fans were ramping. Checked task manager and the company Anti-Malware was hogging the whole CPU.

I was so mad that I managed to get the IT admins to completely disable it and then it was only the pain of working with shitty code on Windows which would have been more than enough from the start. Thankfully it only lasted a week.

It's my end of probation and I just got demoted, from originally "Senior dev" to "dev".

My manager found it a bit difficult to tell me but funny enough, I am completely fine with it apart from the little dent on my pay check. Let me talk about the bad first: money. I believe I have been on the lower end of the market pay range anyways so this step-back gives me about 5% cut, which is acceptable and fair enough.

And the good? Quite a bit. When I got this job offer 6 months ago, it was when everything literally went to shit. I was upset with a somehow not so smart but stubborn tech lead and I desperately wanted to quit. Then I got the offer, which even after 2 interviews I still didn't recall it was a job ads for "technical lead". The manager thought I was not there yet but wanted to keep me as a senior dev. Then, this pandemic almost took away this job. My manager brought my case to the CEO and convinced him to keep me, by saying a lot of good things about me (which I think might not be true for the tech side...)

Throughout the whole 6 months I have been working remotely from home. WFH is not new to me, just this time it's very challenging as I was starting a new job. I have been struggling to keep my pace. All people in the team are nice. However if I don't reach out, no one would notice I need help. And with zero knowledge for this job, I got stuck with "I don't know what I don't know". This ranges from company culture, practice, new tech.. everything. So, that's how this 6 months feels long, but also short.

In our review meeting I think my manager finally realise this. Otherwise he would have gone for the "terminate employment" option. Taking away the "senior" title also takes away the expectation of "I should know XYZ", which I don't. I told him I am kinda happy with it because this sets me up for a more comfortable position to catch my breathe. He told me he noticed my improvement along the way. I told him yes I have been putting in efforts but just given the situation it's not as quick as anyone would expect. We're on the same page now.

So compared to my previous job, I got paid less. But in return, I get many more opportunities to expose myself to new tech. I get a good team who are respectful and open-minded. This is exactly what I was looking for and the drive for me to quit my previous job.

Not to mention I got a reality check. This is also an indicator for me starting to become an imposter, which is the thing I despise most in the industry. I don't want people to value me for how many years I have got in my career. I want to prove myself by what I am capable of. If I'm not there, I should and will get there.

And the last thing which I'm not very keen but it's 100% worth mentioning, is that my manager said I should aim for taking the "senior" role back. He said the salary raise is waiting when I get there. But... Let me just take my time.

Warning: pretty sad thoughts. If you're having a blast of a day, please skip. It's for your own good.

That feeling when you finish watching a piece of art. Be it a film or anime or anything. You're confused why you feel good, but at the same time you're hurt. You smile but the pain is still there when you reflect on the feelings and the experiences you had and you realise that none of it will ever happen again. No art or any of the past will happen again exactly the same way how you felt and experienced.

You think of the best friend you once had. Think of the girl you held hands with and time stopped. The first time you embraced her and knew you loved her more than anything, even if she didn't know your feelings. Think of your first kiss. Your first serious relationship. The last time you saw your parents, your wife, your children, family.

Now look at the perspective of the future and the past you: blissfully ignoring the certain end to all experiences until they all abruptly end reminding you of this and it hurts. Damn it hurts.

I will never be able to see me best friend again, nor will I ever be able to hold hands with her either. First time I kissed is now long gone. It's almost like you wish you were aware of how valuable and important the experience was and to not just throw it away like the last time and the several times before that. But the sad part is, you don't know which experience will make you realise how much you missed it.

But even if you do realise by placing yourself in the place of your future self, and you cherish the experience, you blame yourself because you could have either avoided it's end or did something better.

Like your break up: could it be fixed? Was it worth the little time you have on this plante?
Like your friends argument you had: could you have done better? Could you have stopped it?
Like your parent's death: could you have been a better son to your now overworked dying mum? Could you see how hard they tried even though you thought they were total dicks?

Now you realise that literally anything you do, you will have a problem with somewhere down the line. You're destined to be sad shattered and broken by every day that is tragedy.

But it's similar to art. After all, your life is a piece of art about how you died. Which is why you smile and enjoy the last second of the experience which you just had. That chest warming feeling will only last a little. You smile through pain, yet you realise its not the end.

Then again, its just my thoughts that i need to vent. Take it with a pinch of salt.

Got a gift from my friend. It was from an Indiegogo project. It worked fantastically until it has broken recently.
Although 1 year warranty was promised according to the site, the fact that it's from Indiegogo means that's non existence (I'd say if you actually receive the thing, you're very lucky). So I disassembled it and had a look.
Now I'm thinking maybe I just need to hack my way in to find out what that blown chip is and if I can replace it.
I am also disgusted by the Chinese printed on the IC...

You know the thing where you put "password":" asd" in a json file to test locally and then push it to the server.

You know when you push to git and not add the generated files to gitignore.

You know when you use "asd123" as salt.

You know when instead of using triggers, you do everything with code.

Yeah...

return (this.isBad) ? true: false;

I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but I'm fucking sick of my experience with the world.

I have a feeling that all that 1984 conspiracy type of ideas that I previously considered bullshit and fear mongering are real.

(Just to be clear, I'm not including most conspiracy theories which are very ignorant like flat earth, fake moon landing, or antivax, the people that spread those theories can die a horrible death IMHO).

Corporation consolidation is a fact and appears to become irreversible.

Because of technology, I can stay in the comfort of my house, safe from crime and be entertained without needing to have direct contact with humans.
People might say "that's your fault for not leaving the house". True but that is just how the world is.

The outside world in the cities I lived in is not a welcoming place.
Hell if you fucking find a bench it's a goddamn miracle, and if you do and sit for a long time, the police stares at you like you are up to something.

People don't talk to you because "don't talk to strangers".
It can be rare to find water or a bathroom that isn't a complete shithole.

So no wonder I rather stay at home, the outside world is hostile.

So yeah, go to a mall or something. And consume, consume, consume, because the outdoors suck.

Many pioneers thought technology was to improve the quality of life.

But no, it's just more isolation, less direct contact with people, less giving a fuck about other people.

And that's how feel about people of today. The least amount of fuck giving about others possible.

You would you would connect to more people faster, but no, the result is just millions of people browsing through the same "entertainment", shitty aggregated content.

Yes, consolidation affects internet too. Everything goes through fucking google, youtube, or whatever other fucking top 10 company.

Just like the class disparity, 1% of the things online get 99% of the exposure.

So if you're a small time anything, basically fuck you, because you're not something enormous.

Like, I wished I was a game developer, but there's thousands of brilliant indie games that get released every year, and they barely make what they're worth.
So why should I fucking try? So I can get ruined financially and I don't have a place to live in?

Software itself is so complex that is impossible to scrutinize decently.
We all laugh at congressmen asking the zuck silly questions.

Out of touch, true, but in hindsight, it is true to some extent that software is hard to regulate. Every software I on earth doesn't meet some standard one way or another.

Or maybe it's just too many of us right now.
When people scroll their search results to get access to the things they should be interested in, the only practical interface right now is being showing one link at a time.
But there's millions and millions of results.

One redeeming aspect of life is that one day I won't be alive anymore to observe the disgusting world we live in.

This could be just pure rambling and I can't prove any of the things I'm saying, I could just have been making the wrong friendships. So take this with a grain of salt.

The only thing more dangerous than an alcoholic short-term-memory-challenged non-technical throw-you-under-the-bus IT director with self-esteem issues that are sporadically punctuated by delusions of superiority is one who fears for his job. Submitted for your inspection: a besotted mass of near-human brain function who not only has a 50 person IT department to run, but has also been questioned by the business owners as to what he actually does. So he has decided to show them. He has purchased a vendor product to replace a core in-house developed application used to facilitate creating the product the business sells. The purchased software only covers about 40 percent of the in-house application's functionality, so he is contracting with the vendor to perform custom development on the purchased product (at a cost likely to be just shy of six-figures) so that about 90 percent of existing functionality will be covered. He has asked one of his developers (me) to scale down the existing software to cover the functionality gaps the purchased software creates. There is no deployment plan that will allow the business to transition from the current software to the new vendor​-supplied one without significantly hurting the ability of the business to function. When anyone raises this issue he dismisses it with sage musings such as, "I know it will be painful, but we'll just have to give the users really good support." Because he has no idea what any of his staff actually does, he is expecting one of his developers (again, unfortunately, me) to work with the vendor so that the Frankensoftware will perform as effectively as the current software (essentially as a project manager since there will be no in-house coding involved). Lastly, he refuses to assign someone to be responsible for the software: taking care of maintenance, configuration, and issue resolutions after it has been rolled out. When I pointedly tell him I will not be doing that (because this is purchased software and I am not a system admin or desktop engineer) he tells me, "Let me think about this." The worst part is that this is only one of four software replacement initiatives he is injecting himself into so he can prove his worth to the business owners. And by doing so he is systematically making every software development initiative akin to living in Dante's Eighth Circle. I am at the point where I want to burn my eye out with a hot poker, pour salt into the wound, and howl to the heavens in unbearable agony for a month, so when these projects come to fruition, and I am suffering the wrath of the business owners, I can look back on that moment I lost my eye and think "good times."

Still getting LinkedIn messages from recruiters who can't offer 1% I'm asking for.

Create value, not work
Can't believe I'm asked to do something that I feel is absolutely worthless
Okay, yes I know I need to get paid...
Let's just say I don't share the vision with whoever came up with these tasks

My fellow dev (a younger guy) and I have been having a lot of disagreements with the lead dev (obviously a more experienced, older guy).
We can have arguments with him all day long, to explain and convince him that he's not that right, or not right at all.
Or we can keep silent and wait for shit to happen.
I'm already applying the stfu strategy myself... Because the other way round is exhausting.
At the same time, naturally, I'm looking for opportunities somewhere else. And, naturally, in those job ads, they state "X years of experience".
This further sets me off.
I'm sick of having an argument shut down because someone has X more years of experience, at a higher position, thinks he is better.
I am starting to hate people who boasts his years of experience instead of having the real knowledge and skills to create value.

When I just started making things in PHP, I always taught that md5 encryption was the best thing out there.. Once I learned that it was the most easy way to break I changed to SHA1. What were I thinking? I now use a custom generated SALT for each user and encrypt with SHA512, should be safe for a while, right?

Legit have to control myself not responding to subtle sarcasm or passive aggressiveness in people's rant or comments with utter salt and shade. 😒😒😒

Note to self: Live and let die.

Boss asks us to make sure out documents/instructions to clients are idiot-proof. I am not disagreeing this but usually clients are more idiotic than the most idiotic idiot you can ever imagine...

So I've opened myself to new software engineering positions and was recommended one where the first *benefit* stated:

- High engagement opportunities across our global client base

Am I the only one for whom this is a gigantic red flag and con rather than a benefit? wtf

I saved passwords to db hashed to SHA-1 with no salt... I left that company but I'm sure that application is still actively used today.

This is probably not a popular comment, but here are the reasons I sometimes do not like working from home.

- if I don't get food, the kid starve
- if there's a meeting, the kid decides to play piano
- I have to watch delivered food that needs refrigerated to rot, while I really want to focus on that mudafukin bug
- if misus is not sleeping during the day, there is a 50% chance I smell something burnt in the house

Feel free to add to this list

Just learned that yesterday someone suggested putting the dev team on "workspace", when I was on leave.

My first question, "what the hell is workspace?"
"It's a remote environment..."
Okay I get it. Are you kidding me? Doing development on remote desktop?

My second question, "Why the hell did someone suggest that?"
"We have had issues with devs using MySQL but the target prod will be using PostgreSQL. That caused issues, inconsistencies... And we found some issues after deployment."

Okay so much for DB agnostic. I called it out that everyone now install PostgreSQL on local. Problem solved, hopefully.

Why we had MySQL in the first place? Yes DB agnostic is one of the reason. The other being I'm more familiar with MySQL so it's quicker to perform tasks (like "can you clone that environment for me" and "can you fix the data on XYZ"). But that's trivial.

Just some ridiculous suggestion that set me off.

All of a sudden the Macbook Pro power adapter was broken yesterday. Guess how much does it cost just to replace it?

Fuck you Apple. If you're gonna overprice, it make it durable and good quality dammit.

I rebooted a device that everyone uses
It has not come online yet
It's been an hour, and counting...

What a good timing we're all working from home eh?

Gundam

Vape bloggers be telling people that it's impossible to quit vaping salt nicotine but I quit successfully. Here's how it went:
1. I took my addiction to the point when I vaped three cartridges a day (that's a lot). I remembered that feeling and recalled that dizziness and urge to vomit instead of "pleasure" when I wanted to vape again
2. It's hard to quit on your own. Instead of nicorette and other shit that doesn't work (because it's also nicotine), I took Cytisine. It removed that URGE and the only thing left to tackle was a psychological addiction
3. Vaping and smoking in my head was tied to a cool moments that I experienced, like smoking with the boys after a hackaton, etc. I analyzed them and realized that they're cool not because of the fact of smoking, they are cool per se. So smoking was not necessary

In my last days of cytisine therapy I not only forgot that I vaped, I sometimes forgot to take cytisine. That means the therapy was successful. My average running distance already improved from 1.5 to 3 km.

There is a research that quitting consuming nicotine can help cure depression. I'll check on that

wait until everyone else is fucking asleep

You can type your code like an angry bitch as if you are gonna smash the fucking keyboard. I can live with that. But please don't knock on the desk every so often. That's just pointless and annoying.

Customers are so fucking stupid.

You're already on the page with a form with a "password" field and a fucking "save" button. WHY ARE YOU STILL ASKING ME HOW TO CHANGE YOUR FUCKING PASSWORD???

FUCKING STUPID CUSTOMER WHY DON'T YOUR FUCKING KILL YOURSELF???

FUCK!

Okay so my ticket got rejected because the on screen texts are not in the correct case (upper/lower). Totally fair because nowhere in the spec are those texts defined. As a developer I am also responsible for what "makes sense" for the user.

I'm just gonna say this next time I ask for a raise.

!rant && 'suggestion'

What if we write cook book in pseudo code (or official development languages) instead of plain english so dumb fuck that can't follow a simple instruction like me could actually make something nice?

def mayonnaise:
mayonnaise = random.shuffle(['yolk', 'salt', 'pepper', 'mustard', 'vinegar'])

while(mayonnaise not "thick"):
mayonnaise.whip()
mayonnaise.append('olive oil')

mayonnaise.append('seasoning' || 'lemon juice')

Since we announced our product yesterday, the bots have started emailing our fuckin support system (which automatically ends up in our Jira Service Desk).

Pound salt you halfwit marketing fucks, you're cluttering our bug reports

Which of the following can successfully lead a company for digital transformation?

A) CEO
B) CTO
C) Covid19

All these “top password” lists appearing.. Who audits this? Like ain’t that stuff supposed to be cooked with some salt or something?

Probably my favorite item is the canister I use as a pen/squishy ball holder. My Dad gave it to me; it's part of a self rescue respirator from the salt mine he works at.

I got to go down in the mine several years ago, pretty awesome. It's around 700ft deep underground and is fully self supporting; down there everything is salt, the walls, floor and ceiling.

During one of our visits at Konza City, Machakos county in Kenya, my team and I encountered a big problem accessing to viable water. Most times we enquired for water, we were handed a bottle of bought water. This for a day or few days would be affordable for some, but for a lifetime of a middle income person, it will be way too much expensive. Of ten people we encountered 8 complained of a proper mechanism to access to viable water. This to us was a very demanding problem, that needed to be sorted out immediately. Majority of the people were unable to conduct income generating activities such as farming because of the nature of the kind of water and its scarcity as well.
Such a scenario demands for an immediate way to solve this problem. Various ways have been put into practice to ensure sustainability of water conservation and management. However most of them have been futile on the aspect of sustainability. As part of our research we also considered to check out of the formal mechanisms put in place to ensure proper acquisition of water, and one of them we saw was tree planting, which was not sustainable at all, also some few piped water was being transported very long distances from the destinations, this however did not solve the immediate needs of the people.We found out that the area has a large body mass of salty water which was not viable for them to conduct any constructive activity. This was hint enough to help us find a way to curb this demanding challenge. Presence of salty water was the first step of our solution.

SOLUTION

We came up with an IOT based system to help curb this problem. Our system entails purification of the salty water through electrolysis, the device is places at an area where the body mass of water is located, it drills for a suitable depth and allow the salty water to flow into it. Various sets of tanks and valves are situated next to it, these tanks acts as to contain the salty water temporarily. A high power source is then connected to each tank, this enable the separation of Chlorine ions from Hydrogen Ions by electrolysis through electrolysis, salt is then separated and allowed to flow from the lower chamber of the tanks, allowing clean water to from to the preceding tanks, the preceding tanks contains various chemicals to remove any remaining impurities. The whole entire process is managed by the action of sensors. Water alkalinity, turbidity and ph are monitored and relayed onto a mobile phone, this then follows a predictive analysis of the data history stored then makes up a decision to increase flow of water in the valves or to decrease its flow. This being a hot prone area, we opted to maximize harnessing of power through solar power, this power availability is almost perfect to provide us with at least 440V constant supply to facilitate faster electrolysis of the salty water.
Being a drought prone area, it was key that the outlet water should be cold and comfortable for consumers to use, so we also coupled our output chamber with cooling tanks, these tanks are managed via our mobile application, the information relayed from it in terms of temperature and humidity are sent to it. This information is key in helping us produce water at optimum states, enabling us to fully manage supply and input of the water from the water bodies.
By the use of natural language processing, we are able to automatically control flow and feeing of the valves to and fro using Voice, one could say “The output water is too hot”, and the system would respond by increasing the speed of the fans and making the tanks provide very cold water. Additional to this system, we have prepared short video tutorials and documents enlighting people on how to conserve water and maintain the optimum state of the green economy.
IBM/OPEN SOURCE TECHNOLOGIES
For a start, we have implemented our project using esp8266 microcontrollers, sensors, transducers and low payload containers to demonstrate our project. Previously we have used Google’s firebase cloud platform to ensure realtimeness of data to-and-fro relay to the mobile. This has proven workable for most cases, whether on a small scale or large scale, however we meet challenges such as change in the fingerprint keys that renders our device not workable, we intend to overcome this problem by moving to IBM bluemix platform.
We use C++ Programming language for our microcontrollers and sensor communication, in some cases we use Python programming language to process neuro-networks for our microcontrollers.

Any feedback conserning this project please?

I need guidance about my current situation.
I am perfectionist believing in OOP, preventing memory leak in advance, following clean code, best practices, constantly learning about new libraries to reduce custom implementation & improve efficiency.
So even a single bad variable name can trigger my nerves.

I am currently working in a half billion $ IT service company on a maintenance project of 8 year old Android app of security domain product of 1 of the top enterprise company of the world, which sold it to the many leading companies in the world in Govt service, banking, insurance sectors.

It's code quality is such a bad that I get panic attacks & nightmares daily.

Issues are like
- No apk obfuscation, source's everything is openbook, anybody can just unzip apk & open it in Android Studio to see the source.
- logs everywhere about method name invoked,
- static IV & salt for encryption.
- thousands of line code in God classes.
- Irrelevant method names compared to it's functionality.
- Even single item having list takes 2-3 seconds to load
- Lag in navigation between different features' screens.
- For even single thing like different dimension values for different density whole 100+ lines separate layout files for 6 types of densities are written.
- No modularized packages, every class is in single package & there are around 100+ classes.

Owner of the code, my team lead, is too terrified to change even single thing as he don't have coding maturity & no understanding of memory leak, clean code, OOP, in short typical IT 'service' company mentality.

Client is ill-informed or cost-cutting centric so no code review done by them in 8 years.

Feeling much frustrated as I can see it's like a bomb is waiting to blast anytime when some blackhat cracker will take advantage of this.

Need suggestions about this to tackle the situation.

HRM student: Hey, can I borrow your flash drive?
IT student: Sorry mate, I don't have that now. I left it at home.
HRM student: Seriously? How could you left if at home? You shouldn't have taken IT course. Lol
IT student: Oh I see, so where is your
Cooking Utensils
Graters & Peelers
Kitchen Shears
Mandolines & Slicers
Salt & Pepper Mills
Food Mills
Colanders & Strainers
Measuring Cups & Spoons and more? I guess you better drop all your subjects now.

Believe whatever the intern says

WITH A BAG OF SALT

Good fucking lord, what the fuck is happening with dev recruitment these days. I do get that the technologies go forward, but me being a 13+ years as dev, i am able to learn new shit, pretty easily. BUT NOPE, if you say in the interview that you don't know stuff, then they never call you back.

I worked as a senior fullstack for the past fucking 5-6 years on remote, but most probably i will be forced to move to another city and work as a junior.

Fuck also that my wife is pregnant second time and this time ther is a high risk of misscariege. So i need to work at home and also somehow look after my kid and wife. Nope, according to every hr ever FUCK THAT.

Me to QA: I need an urgent signature.
QA: That costs a cake.
Me: If we baked cake at our company, that would have too much sugar, and we would use more salt as workaround.

Everytime im visiting msdn, I'm about to start criying. Especially today. Im having until wednesday to fix a bug, and the only documentation I can find that talks about this issue is on msdn and the site takes fucking forever to load, pouring salt in my wounds.

Microsoft has put out some really fantastic and educational lectures for free on YouTube. And I understand they have to use Microsoft technology but it makes me cringe when they say things like "Now I'm going to open Microsoft Edge and use Bing." You're working on a projector, we all see you doing it, you don't have to rub salt in the wound.

My passwords are so secure, they want to talk about sex with me.

PM: Heyy team x, could we have a suuper quick 90 sec tops call?

B*tch, if the call is actually 1.5m there is no way we need that call. We can actually respond to your question in text quicker.

But I know you. You can't fool me that it would actually be 90 seconds.

It's also fucking Friday afternoon.

fml

I forgot my password to my mindfactory account, one of Germany's biggest online vendor for computer components. So I go through the resetting process, which is:

- apply for password reset
- get a mail
- confirm the mail
(So far, so good)

- get a mail with a new CLEAR TEXT PASSWORD

Is this the stone age!?

You never send an email containing the cleartext! You never even store the password as is!
You, as the provider, should never be able to know what the actual password was.

All you are supposed to do is to generate a random salt, and hash the user's password with the salt, and then you only store the salt and the hash. And whenever a user inputs their password, all you do is to check if the you can recreate the hash with the help of the salt and your hash algorithm. (There are libraries for that!)

If a user wants to reset their password? Send them to a mail with link on where they can assign a new password.

At no point should the password ever be stored or transmitted in any other medium.

Holy fucking shit are email clients bullshit.
I don't know what happened there but if you thought the chrome-firefox-ie-egde gaps back in the days were sick - let me tell you.. email clients are made by the devil himself. All of them. All of them? Yup. Because he made some of them being owned by apple, working beatuiful and no weird stuff.
But on the same end he made some of them owned by microsoft and their office Studios. They use the word engine to render html emails. Read this again. Read it without starting to cry in agony.
But thats not enough. Let's make some of them use an ie-engine and the mac os variants going to use some webkit based renderer. This way there will be no valid ruleset to make it look good on all of them, isn't this great??
Now this might be hell already. But lets pour more salt into these wide opened wounds.
Let there be Germany and United Internet, owning trash like Web.de and GMX, whose android clients going to work completely different across Android and app-versions!
Once you've mastered these, let me introduce you to gmail. Lets take only the body node of your email and do some fuck up with it, so you have to display a non-responsive variant on mobile.
Now you might be thinking "but there are web-based clients, they'll do good ain't they?" Long story short: fuck you.
Not enough.
Let's go back to ms.
Hey dude lets make it possible to scale up your whole system. So old people can read shit better. And now the funny part: let's make it so that the word rendering engine, rendering emails goes completely mayhem on your mail, so it looks like a completely different thing! (:

If you ever receive a newsletter in your inbox and that shit looks like it's planned to look like.. appreciate that shit. Sacrifice a virgin as thanksgiving for it.

TL;DR:
E-Mail needs to die. I'm doing this for over 2 years now and this shit needs to stop asap.

My final commit in 2017 is a bug in my salt state 😢 but my friends are waiting so the fix has to wait until tomorrow!

Weird thought.

Everyone seems to hate electron. It's one of the strongest cross platform developing environments though, so everyone uses it.

Google recently made 2 new platforms, flutter and dart, designed for cross platform applications... but then why is project fuschia's entire UI built in, you guessed it, dart and flutter?

I think Google is trying to make an electron replacement, endorse and grow it in fuschia, and have it grow as the new (resource friendlier) electron.

Of course, only my ramblings. Take with a grain of salt.

The one project where I had to build a browser based status dashboard for a molten-salt solar powerplant

Fuck timesheet
It's bad enough someone fucking disturb you in the middle of great thoughts. What's worse, you're QUESTIONED where the fuck your time was spent. So you need to work out how much time you have been disturbed, and put in the fucking timesheet!
What a fucking joke! As if we have too much time for meaningful stuff.

As far as mobile games go I am never to interested in or really bother much with some of them. But Honkai Impact 3rd really makes me go woaaah every time I play it. The graphics are absolutely stunning and so is the gameplay. Damned game looks absolutely gorgeous and it makes me think or xbox360 graphics. I do not have a good eye for graphics at all and I am not much of a pc or console gamer. So take that with a grain of salt.

So I removed all the Eclipse crap from the repository (.settings, .project, etc), add those to the .gitignore, commit and push. The next thing happened is my co-worker found that broken his copy of the code as on Eclipse. That's expected. I told him it's justified to get rid of IDE specific stuff from the repo. All he needed is to set up the project again on his Eclipse.
...
...
...
And he didn't know how to do it.
...
...
...
I helped him out. Wasted 15 min. It shouldn't take that long if I did not try to explain along the way.

I feel like fixing printer.

Official documentation > StackOverflow.

StackOverflow sometimes has well-grounded and elaborate explanations on a question by well-meaning and knowledgeable developers, but oftentimes the answers also contain outdated or 'dirty' solutions and so it's always to be taken with a grain of salt.

However, in cases like the official Spring documentation, the IETF RFC's and the MDN, those provide a correct explanation to the problem, even if it requires some reading around. When it comes to serious and correct work, I favor these over the bro-zone that is StackOverflow.

semi dev related(later half)
A common and random thought I have:

A lot of units that humans use are either needlessly arbitrary or based on something weird. Like Fahrenheit. That shit is weird! 0°F is the freezing point of a water and salt solution. What a weird fucking thing to use!

But also, I like Fahrenheit more. Probably because it's what I was raised with and switching is tedious (though I'm trying. I'd like to use metric more), but also because one degree F is a smaller, more precise change. You can describe more accuracy without decimals.

On the other hand I prefer metric for length. Centimeters, and centimeters are way more precise and way less confusing than inches and .... 1/8th inches? Who the fuck decided on 1/8ths?!

Which brings me to my common thought:

If you look at a Unix timestamp, you can approximate somewhat when it happened. Knowing the current timestamp and a few reference points you can see RELATIVELY what a epoch stamp translates to. A few days ago, an hr ago, 2014ish.

This leads me to think that if we actually taught from a young age to think in epoch as a unit (not as a replacement to normal date formats but as a secondary at first) that we could just naturally read epoch time in the same manner we read dates like "28/01/2006 14:24:10 UTC"

In your brain you automatically know how old you were when that timestamp happened. What grade/job and where you lived at the time. What season it was. You know how far into the day it was, a little before lunch (or after or whatever, your time zone will vary). Now try with 1138458250. I can usually get roughly the year, and month if I really think about it, but that's it. And it takes much more effort

I'm sure there's other units we could benefit from but epoch is the one that usually brings this to mind for me.

Just realised there is a -- button... Who would be that mean to use it anyway?

Today I was told that full stack is another name for a shit developer who wont be able to develop anything good because they aren't focused on one skill.

But it was by a person who claims to like OOP but doesn't know the 4 principles, SOLID, GoF, or DDD. So I take it with salt. But he claims his entire company follows this philosophy.

I think that some developers just decide that they're hot shit and refuse to talk about any other skills they don't know about since they must not be needed if they don't know them. Code is code.

Trying to learn Angular and reactjs, reading up the tutorial or documentation...

Why the hell are there ten million more shit I need to look at first? (such as rxjs, Babel, webpack... and whatever the fuck they are)

Now am I supposed to master those ten million tools/libraries before I can proceed?

Of course there is no ten million but mentally it's no difference. I'm just fed up with this.

My friends AppStore crashed so hard that he tried to delete it.

Any other IT company is like:

* Task -> Designer -> Markup coder -> Backend -> Finish

Our IT company:

Act I: "Art of setting up contact with idiots".
------
Items:
*Cave scripts (aka "typical task")

Designer: -- "DAFUQ?"
Customer: *gives another interpretation*
Designer: -- "Erm... really? White text on white background?"
Customer: -- "Make a decision by yourself. I was expecting much more independence from you. You are an expert after all."
Designer: -- "Well. I'm making decision by myself. The text will be placed *here* and will be gray-colored, because *bla-bla-bla*"
Customer: -- "I disagree."
Designer: *1 hour of silence later* -- "Well...k."

Act II: "Design meets ar(u)tist"
----

Items:
*Something, that was drawn by dumb kid while smashing his own head against desk. (PSD layout)
* Salt (to pour it on open wounds)

Designer: -- "I'm seeing this task *this way*"
Markup: -- "And how do u think i should get this done? Have you even seen what you made?? This is bullshit!"
Designer: -- "It's not bullshit! It's a sci-fi themed layout!"
Markup: -- "With gameplay elements and graphics from Alien Shooter??"
Designer: -- "Well, I don't care." *brings new edits and changes*
Markup: -- "????"
Designer: *smug face* -- "!!!"

Act III (7 days later, 9 hours till deadline): "Short story about boy, who was trying to hang himself, but instead fell out from window."
----

Items:
*Markup, smelling like it went through hell and back (x1)
* Markup coder with fried butt (x1)

Backend: -- "What. Is. THAT?"
Markup: -- "It's a work we should complete in 9 hours."
Backend: -- "WE?? I know u mean me, but that's a nightmare. What the f*ck were you doing all this time?"
Markup: -- "Well..." *finds out that he was only watching films and sleeping* "I was making this thing up..."
Backend: -- "You mean "f*cking" *this* thing "up"?"
Markup: -- "Not without it"

(*3 hours of edits and changes of color from white to white later*)
Backend: -- "Well, let's do this."
*Picks PHP and tries to bundle it up with MongoDB. After some time tries to rewrite everything to JS and starts shouting something like "F***CK" and looking for window to walk through. Figures out that he is on first floor. And that he is too lazy to go upstairs*

Act IV (3 days after deadline): "Pain and misery":
-----

Items:
*Something covered with insul(t)ating tape. (Final product)

Customer: -- "Really?"
Team: -- "Kinda."
Customer: -- "Well, thanks for your work anyway. It feels like it's going to disassemble right in my hands but it just works. Oh, also, you didnt made this in time, so your payment will be over9000 times lower. That's all"
Backend, on fluids: -- "Well...yeah..."
Markup: -- "Don't look at me like that. I really was doing my job."
Designer, with twitching eye: -- "Huh, I see. You worked so hard that we have nothing to eat now. Thanks for that."
Backend: ...

I will literally pull out you soul, grill it, and then put it back into you just to kill you, roll you up in nice mustard, pickles, bacon, pepper and salt and then roll you over with beef so I can properly make a roast and then, when you're ded, I will take your soul again to just torture it for all eternity.

....didn't have my coffee yet, guten morgen

I am trying to "invent" secure client-side authentication where all data are stored in browser encrypted and only accessible with the correct password. My question is, what is your opinion about my idea. If you think it is not secure or there is possible backdoor, let me know.

// INPUT:
- test string (hidden, random, random length)
- password
- password again
// THEN:
- hash test string with sha-512
- encrypt test string with password
- save hash of test string
// AUTH:
- decrypt test string
- hash decrypted string with sha-512
- compare hashes
- create password hash sha-512 (and delete password from memory, so you cannot get it somehow - possible hole here because hash is reversible with brute force)

// DATA PROCESSING
- encrypt/decrypt with password hash as secret (AES-256)

Thanks!

EDIT: Maybe some salt for test string would be nice

@Iodine 😂 What's next ? Sodium chloride

Weekly summary: 1 of your workflows have failed

- shit

The below workflow had an unusual number of failures:
Workflow X
Failed 1 times

- oh so it is failing since yesterday?

*swaty click*

8 h ago - Succeeded
1 d ago - Succeeded
[...]
6 d ago - Succeeded
1 wk ago - Failed

- Oh. Great. Perfect time and way to notify me.

On Facebook open day:

Graduate dev lady telling a story about how much responsibility they are given and how she broke the password reset button for hours when her task was to instruct old users with weak passwords to update them...

//my first post, so not sure if it's appropriate, but surely did this come as a shock

I went to meet a client with our CTO. In the meeting we discuss the implementation of SAML SSO. Their SSO guys asked whether they need to build 2 trusts for our application because we have 2 modules that use SSO. Both the CTO and I were not sure because we did not have any prior experience of integrating SAML SSO. To act professional, we couldn't say we were not sure. So the CTO said we needed two trusts. I immediately added "We may only need one. Let us do a bit of investigation and confirm."
After the meeting I did the investigation and found out we really only needed one. So I sent out an email to tell the client, cc the CTO. 1 minute later I got the email from the CTO "why tell them one when I said two?". When it's an immediate response with only 1 line, I know I'm in trouble. So I called him and was ready to explain to him. I couldn't. Later I found out the time I was calling him, he was talking about this with the CEO.
I thought maybe I can explain to him when he's available. The next morning as I came to work, the CEO asked me to come to his office. He closed the door, and told me the first line the CTO told him the day before was "I want him (me) fired." I was so shocked. Having been working with the CTO for quite a while, I was surprised he said that without even communicating with me. Did I do something that wrong that you don't even bother to tell me what's wrong? I was not fired because the CEO at least asked what happened. He also understood I was actually making a better technical decision. But well, guess I shouldn't be making a decision when I had no power to. And even I believed the client heard my "let me investigate first" comment, the CTO didn't. I still got an unofficial warning. For that whole day because of the stress, I don't remember getting anything done.
Fuck that acting like profession and smart when you are not. I'd go down the path of becoming professional and smart instead. And fuck metting with clients. I'm a dev don't fucking dare to talk to me and get me fired. If you wanna talk, talk to the big guys who don't make us look bad like I did.
If you ask me today I still believe I haven't done anything wrong there. So fuck everything.

Just got an email from HR asking everyone to put in leave for Christmas by TODAY.
Christmas is like a month away...
Before this email, there is no similar announcement whatsoever informing we have to put in leave by certain date.
It's lucky I checked my email (because I basically ignore it unless someone comes and tells me he's gonna send me something through it). It's luckier I got my Christmas plan sorted.
But... What if I'm still figuring out what to do for Christmas? Is this reasonable?

Avoided IoT(IoS - InternetOfShit) for a long time now, due to the security concerns with retail products.
Now I looked into 433 Transceiver + Arduino solutions.. to build something myself, just for the lolz.

Theory:
Smallest Arduino I found has 32 KByte of programmable memory, a tiny tiny crypto library could take around 4 KBytes...

Set a symetric crypto key for each homebrewn device / sensor / etc, send the info and commands (with time of day as salt for example) encrypted between Server <-> IoT gadget, ciphertext would have checksum appended, magic and ciphertext length prepended.

Result:
Be safe from possible drive-by attacks, still have a somewhat reliable communication?!
Ofc passionate hackers would be still able to crack it, no doubt.

Question: Am I thinking too simple? Am I describing just the standard here?

I have a client-server-system and I need to send a password from the client to the server. I hash the password on the client side (with a salt) and then send the hash to the server. Is that enough or do I need to do more?

!rant

Yesterday was pretty wild. Well, by my standards, anyhow. So in the morning I interviewed at a place. It felt like it went really well. Then I shadowed a teaching assistant position I'm starting at a college. 0 jobs to 2 within a week. "COME SEE MY SEMINAR ABOUT TO LIFE HACK THE RECRUITER SYSTEM!!!" But, seriously if you just let them do work for you with a massive grain of salt, you'll generate offers without even trying at it.

Anyone with game development experience? I'm thinking of doing a game development side project soon. Not expecting the best results, but games like cuphead, hollow knight and salt & sanctuary inspire me (2D platformers).

Will PyGame or LibGDX suit me fine or should I use a bigger engine like Unity or Unreal?

void encrypt(...) {
[...]
output.Write(iv);
output.Write(salt);
[...]
}

void decrypt(...) {
[...]
input.Read(salt);
input.Read(iv);
[...]
}

Took me 2 hours to figure out why it kept giving me decryption errors :/

So, I just started Week of Code 23, this was my first online competition. I got the email to start the first challenge and I clicked the link, then I went to do something else. When I got back I solved the challenge in 5 minutes (or less idk). I clicked submit, and then looked at the leaderboard.
My current position was something around 900 and I took 70+ minutes to complete the assignment xD :p

Bye chances of winning a t-shirt

Worst: job insecurity, i. e. "due to Covid, unfortunately we can only renew you for 1 month for now" which kept on going from March till October and during which all sensible colleagues left.

Best: finally leaving this piece of shit management in October for a better position.

Does it bother you when a co-worker keeps talking on phone all day long and it's not work related? It bothers me.

I fucking hate people who want to "perfect" his shit before push his code. Yes damn right. That means he doesn't fucking push his code until it's too late and his "perfect" shit will break everything. Not to mention the cry face he has when there are shitload of conflicts.

My Friday Developer Jam:

Push it by Salt-N-Pepa

Hmm. I've been wondering how I'll deploy an api based on a microservice style the smartest way... The general plan was to use salt to setup the base server and install dependencies and add the configuration.. Doing updates would be a git pull and pm2 restart api. I would love to know how you deploy your software ?

NaCl is just salt, they said. It won't hurt, they said.

Managed to get Salt Stack working, feels so poweefull! I can feel all my machines at my fingertips. So overwhelming!

Go home WebStorm. You are drunk.

Run a script, get a shit load of "Permission denied" error message... So I stop it by pressing Ctrl+C
Look at the script again there is this little line:
rm -rf $TMP_DIR/*

Look into the script again and again, $TMP_DIR is never defined...

while(fork())

Most evil thing I have learned...

End of financial year in Australia
Purchased IntelliJ Ultimate
The cost will be tax deductible
Nice

mvn ... -DskipTests=true

Shut up

Random tip of the day.
Putting salt on your food will usually help it taste less bland.

Why the fuckin' hell does PayPal limit your password to 20 characters?!?

The length shouldn't matter if they hash and salt the passwords... sooooo...

!dev

I paint as a hobby and i think I'll go the github way and relabel the black colors as nightly 🤔 and whites as salt 😃 (!?).

Sorry, don't mean to be a racist, i practically didn't differentiate between people based untill i was told in school that we should not differentiate based on color or race 🤣. Everyone was just a human before those lessons.

Note to self: keep not trusting online tutorials and ALWAYS, A.L.W.A.Y.S take them with a grain of salt.

Now why do you fine lads think `nmcli networking off && nmcli networking on` over ssh is a bad idea? And how to quickly make it suitable for over-ssh-execution? Let's see who knows shell! [HINT: see tags for an almost-answer]

... when people not sure what shell characters mean are writing tutorials... FUCK!

Anybody at Neumont FReX tmr in Salt Lake City? Chhbooi is visiting, I'd also love to know people's opinions about the school.

Seing myself on devRant makes me realize I am a mix of sugar and salt : sweet, salty, and very dry.

As a developer, how important to you that you have the choice of tools/platforms to do your job?

I've worked on some companies that don't give a damn as long as you get the job done, while some frown upon it because they haven't tried anything other than what they have and are skeptical. Some are completely locked because their products are platform specific so it makes sense for dev to work on the same platform.

Thoughts?

I find sugar (mostly chocolate) wakes me up better than coffee.

Looking for a way to generate an encrypted string (with salt) in C++ then send that string over to a java server and decrypt it on java as well. Any suggestions?

Token for App -> backend authentication is generated one time when the user signs up. Sniff it once and you've got access to the user account forever.

Passwords are hashed with one round of SHA1, no salt.

Everything including login data is sent over plain HTTP.

Luckily I got permission to fix that mess

!rant

Not sure if it's appropriate here...
I think I am getting more affected by the "depression"... Lower productivity, restless sleeps, etc.
I quoted "depression" because I think it's a medical term that I need to get diagnosed before confirming it. I am thinking maybe I need to see a doctor on this but don't know where to start.
Any Hong Kongers here, sharing the same feel?...

as a seasoned systems eng myself, i had huge mental block of "i am not a programmer" whining when starting to incorperate agile/infrastructure as code for more seasoned syseng staff.

leadership made devops a role and not a practice so lots of growing pains. was finally able to win them over by asking them to look at how many 'scripts' and 'tools' they wrote to make life easier... and how much simpler and sustainable using puppet/ansible/chef/salt... and checking in all our sacred bin files and only approved 'scripts' would be pushed thru automation tool after post review.

we still are not programmers or developers, but using specific practices and source control took some time but saving us loads of time and gives us ability to actually do engineering

but just have 2 groups of younger guys that grew up wanting to be the bofh/crumudgen get off my systems types that are like not even 30... frustrating as they are the ones that should be more familiar with the shift from strictly ops to some overlap. and the devs that ask for root now that they can launch instances on aws or can launch docker containers and microservice..... ugggg. these 2 groups have never had to rack and stack servers, network gear, storage... just all magic to them because they can start 50 servers with a button click.

try to get past the iam roles, acls, facls, selinux and noshell i have been pushing. bitches.

I just found myself reading "stuff" as "shit" all the time.

I don't know what but our customers have put new terms in our contacts. That essentially make us liable if we don't take certain measure to protect the access to stuff.

To me that means I have to log out of my computer whenever I leave my seat. I was told its not necessary if I go to toilet. So I set the computer to require login after 15 min of not doing shit. Usually I remember that and log out manually so that's just precautions measure.

Today before I got lunch, I forgot. And my boss happened to notice my computer was on within that 15 min after I left.

I got a warning.

Fuck this shit. I now set th timer to 1 min.

Now I need to login again and again if I'm reading docs or article.

Fucking shit.

Isn't it just great when there have been unrealistic deadlines chasing you and you keep missing, every day, for over a year?

Meanwhile this guy on the other team just talks on phone all day long for personal matters, no giving a shit to progress.

Yeah I know it's none of my business. But just get the fuck off my face. The mumbling is so annoying.

And he's also that guy I keep bitching about because of his desk finger drumming and keyboard smashing.

iPhone 6S got salt water damage. Turns out its the screen so replaced it. Original touch ID doesn't work so that's gone. Now I'm waiting for front camera, sensor, and speaker to arrive to fix that.

"...what I'm looking at... uh... wait this is ridiculous... what is this... how do I update this..."
This new guy I'm supposed to bring up to speed constantly mumbles like this. He's just talking to himself. But it's so annoying that it's like he's constantly asking me questions.

So we're approaching the end of WebStorm license subscription. Got notified about renewal. Then there's this question... Should we

1. not renew, use the fallback version (2018 something) because we don't need that many updates anyway and renew next year to get essentially a 50% off discount, or
2. renew and get the 20% off discount?

Asking for my boss lol

Fuck you Linux! I thought user password validation would be a piece of cake, like bash one liner. How wrong could I be!

Yeah, it's already ugly to grep hash and salt from /etc/shadow, but I could accept that. But then give me a friggin' tool to generate the hash. And of course the distro I chose has the wrong makepswd, OpenSSL is too old to have the new SHA-512 built in, as it should be a minimal installation I don't want to use perl or python...
And the stupid crypto function that would do me the job is even included in glibc. So it's only one line of C-code to give me all I want, but there is no package that would provide me this dull binary? Instead I will have to compile it myself and then again remove the compiler to keep image small?

I have set up my automation through a private GitHub repo.

I know there is puppet, and salt, and Ansible.

co worker repeatedly knock on his fucking desk like it's nobody's business

substr, substring and any variants

Confusing af. Added 5-sec of Dev time every time I use them because I have to look up just to make sure.
Why can't they be the same? If they're the same, why are they different?

Yeah, eating some 99.9% salt.

It's yummie!

Salt is awesome, no questions about that. YAML is giving me headaches, but it's my fault and eventually I'll get used to it. But this being my first encounter with jinja, WHO THE HELL THOUGHT THIS PIECE OF CRAP DESERVES TO LIVE! Instead of writing python inside {% %} you have to write kinda pseudo python and I just spend over hour trying to build list inside for. Yes, great idea, scoping fors, and lets make it hard to escape scoping, beacause it would be a shame if somebody COULD ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING USEFULL. I though several times of using different renderer, but I want to keep my code readable and mainrainable and in the end I found a workaround, but still, Jinja, YOU SUCK!

Puppet becomes chef when the salt stack so realistic ansible will only play

The moment when you bring up something that's got quite some positive reviews from dev community (of course from the internet), and devs around you simply dismiss your idea of even trying...

Anyone know any good PHP/LAMP/Node devs worth a grain of salt?

Someone that can keep up with me?

I’m tired of working alone and having no one to talk to about code and systems.

Looking for friends first and possible future employees later :P

I've come to my first real fork in my career. I currently work as a web developer for a medical software company. The pay is pretty abysmal but they're flexible and not super demanding. However, my formal education (take this with a grain of salt obviously) is in game development and I've been trying to build my portfolio and what not. I was offered a part-time internship, because I'm still in grad school, I haven't held a part time position since high school. But not only is the position a job I actually want, but the company is pretty great. I'd have to stay part time tell graduation (Next December). But they said they are already interested in transitioning me to full time once I graduate. Another note, I have to get some security clearance for the job, which is another reason they want me to start part time.

So I truly don't like web development and the company I'm at has been very up front that I'm going to stay at this pay rate for a while. But it's possible that they offer me a contract/part time position after I leave (mostly because I'm the one and only web developer and they're already on a hiring freeze). However, if they don't I'd have to scramble to find something else to pay bills for the next year.

Long rant. tl;Dr: should I stay or should I go?

I've been seeing job ads saying they look for people who are "good at node.js" or similar (e.g. guru, expert...) What does that mean? I only use npm when I do my reactjs projects. Does that count?

I am so fucking sick of how those fuckers choose all sorts of shit gems to publish in the rails tree.

Like this fucking action_text and trix.

Why the FUCK would someone publish a fucking editor that breaks ALL HTML you add to a record? including <table> tags? data- attributes? href and src attributes that use some template tags eg liquid or any other fucking template system?

I just wanna catch you fuckers and line you up and fucking whip your ass all day long. I want to boil you slow in salt water and skull fuck you until you never touch a computer again.

Fucking basecamp and 37 signals. If you can't publish a decent gem at least keep your fucking shit for yourselves. You pride and tout yourself as top notch company yet you can't do a fucking HTML editor the right way - WP did it when you were itching your daddys' crotch you wimping dickheads.

I am so fucking done with Rails over this shit. I'll be fucked with a barge pole wrapped in barbed wire if any new features get written on this stack of shit from now on. I will fucking throw out the 12th floor window any of our moron devs who writes anything but productive maintenance code on Rails as of now.

Shred some waves at the local break and drink some salt water in the process! That's my way to get unstuck.

Learning Spring at the moment... The autowiring thing gives me a lot of WTF moments but I think that's why people love it. Can't find any good tutorial explaining what's under the hood either.

And I don't know why I just have this great idea of "let me make it harder" by switching to IntelliJ from Eclipse at the same time. As if it's not bad enough that I need to produce something useful within a short time...

I've been working on a project which has been understaffed (from the beginning, now I know).

All the newly hired guys, who are more experienced than me (in terms of how many years of work experience), use Eclipse.

I use IntelliJ.

I don't think I can make them switch to IntelliJ.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how frustrated should I be?

int yourMum = 10;
for(int boner = 0; boner < yourMum; boner++)
{
print("Fucked her last night m8");
}
return CallOfDuty.Instance.CurrentGame.Disconnect(DisconnectOptions.PULL_THE_PLUG, new Salt(SaltOptions.MAX_VALUE));