To all/any client(s) who send in an error message:

SEND IT IN FUCKING ENGLISH.

Thank you.

"I'd rather post my nude pictures in slack than this unfinished feature branch... I would just feel a bit *too* naked"

— coworker

Poetry at work!
Thats a good usage of a whiteboard 😁

Guess who compiled a program with 0 errors and 0 warnings at first try!! 😀😀😀
Spoiler: not me

Dev of my team coding on Idea

Seeing him using space-bar to format copy pasted lines of code

Me: why don't you use ctrl+l shortcut?

Him: I don't use shortcuts while coding

Me: at least use the tab

him: nope.

He formatted 3000 lines of code with space-bar. He's not even using notepad. 😐

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

My clients be like

Maintaining software built by interns who have all quit by now and made zero documentation

Everytime I need to edit a document

Saying you know Javascript when you only know jQuery fells like inviting friends over for dinner and serve frozen food.

😅😅haha

Ohhh the opportunities *sighes and continues towards the weird box*

Google: “Your websites must load the first byte in under 500ms and be fully loaded with no render blocking and local caching of all external site callouts to even begin to rank in Google searches.”

Me: “Ok, Google. Your wish is my command.”

*Looks at Chrome’s memory usage to load a blank page*

Sometimes when I'm working on some front end stuff, I'll forget that I should look at the local file and instead look at the version online. I spend about 5 minutes every time figuring why it doesn't change before I realize just how stupid I am. It gets me every time. Every gosh diggity darn time.

What a weird age we live in!!!
We need to prove machines that we are not machines...
#captcha

Was today national 'lets not use our brains and common sense' day or something?!?

People coming with the most fucking RETARDED questions.

'ive spend hours to try and figure out why my mail isnt sending,?!'

MAYBE TRY SPELLING YOUR FUCKING OWN EMAIL ADDRESS CORRECTLY?!?!?!

Tons more of the kind of shit that you can solve yourself within three FUCKING seconds.

I'm so fucking done with today.

"There are no stupid questions", they say. Apparently they haven't met my customers.

My coding behavior:
1. console.log("Hello World");
2. CTRL S
3. this.date=moment();
4. CTRL S
5. const yesterday = this.date
6. CTRL S
7. Open Chrome Browser to preview
8. Accidentally pressed CTRL S and saved that page

age += 1

The senior developer swore the server was responding with a 500 because I, the co-op, was definitely sending the 'wrong encoding' whenever I post special characters. He said, "I'm only taking your data and putting it straight into the database!!!"

I found out it was breaking because he was converting the JSON payload to a STRING and simplistically separating the keys and values by colons and double quotes. Yuuup. Nothing can go wrong there...

When you're too Dev to find a Valentine the mainstream way.

Is it just me, or does this emoticon look like a guy giving some serious middle fingers with Michael Jackson gloves?

Our company got attacked last month by what i believe was a code time bomb from a ex employee. And it was brutal, website hacked, email server not responding, locked out from database servers. The IT department asked for my help and I was more than happy to do it. Long story short I got every thing back working smoothly. The IT guys ask for a favor to not include this in my monthly progress report. Fine by me. But then they went out and tokd the top management that they are teaching me about the networks and servers so thats why I was working with them last month. Fucking assholes. Not going to help them any more.

It's hard to solve a bug that only occurs *sometimes*.

Not a rant but I'm too excited not to post it. I proposed, she said yes!

Lists. Like really. I work so well with lists. Love lists.

Lists.

devRant mini rant... Only myself to blame

I wear flannels all the time :( but don't have 1000

Thanks devRant for awesome content, I will get the flannels soon!

"Remove it i don't want it" - display: none !important;

Come early to the office, that time is really productive

Stop reading articles on which framework/library is better, pick one and start actually writing code.

... Only to then discover that this library is utterly broken and/or undocumented and you have to start over again.
GODDAMNIT JS I HATE YOUR ASS

Assume the sales team lied