Details
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AboutMother of kitties. Lover of coffee ☕️
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SkillsAngularJS, React.js, JavaScript, HTML, CSS
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LocationCharleston, SC
Joined devRant on 3/6/2018
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Somehow every programmer that i met, started programming at age of 8-10
Like wtf were you programming, an alarm clock to watch Spongebob Squarepants?39 -
That feeling when the feature you've been working on everyday for the past 2 months is pushed into production.
My baby's all grown up now 😭8 -
I get through tough devDays like this:
1. Brew coffee more black than a serial killer's soul in the midst of the Gotthard Base Tunnel without electricity in the midnight during a solar eclipse.
2. Flush the blackness down the throat.
3. Load the Playlist: Mostly Death/Doom Metal
4. Put on over-ear headphones (the ones your coworkers can see from a distance telling them to fuck of with their questions).
5. Code through without pauses (except for releasing piss)
6. If you're paid by the hour: $$$profit$$$8 -
A group of wolves is called a pack.
A group of crows is called a murder.
A group of developers is called a merge conflict.28 -
!rant
Just watched the intern pull a beer from the beer fridge, and it's only 11:15am. What a fucking champion.17 -
Keeping up with new JS frameworks is like keeping up with celebrity gossip. It really isn't useful on it's own but you can talk to other people about it and be perceived as woke.9
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Owner of company I freelance for: I need you to find out what CMS [website] is running in.
[Checking...]
Me: It's running in Drupal
Owner: Prove to me that it's running in Drupal, because she's saying you're wrong.
Me: Who the hell is "she"?
Owner: The boss over at [PR Company we do work for]
Me: Is she a developer?
Owner: No, of course not. She barely knows how to run a computer.
Me: Then tell I said it's running in Drupal, and if she wants proof, tell her I'm the developer she has begged to fix two other failing projects and I have delivered both times ahead of schedule.
Owner: If you don't show me proof, I'll fire you. I don't need attitude from my employees.
Me: A.) I'm not your employee, you are my client. I don't clock in for you and you don't withhold taxes from my pay. B.) If that's how you want to be, tell her to use terminal and cURL the website for the response header, as well as cross-reference folder structure for CSS/JS file inclusion to show it's running in Drupal.
Owner: What the fuck is terminal?
Me: If you don't know what terminal is, neither will she, meaning you have no business telling me how to do my job. Stick with assigning me tasks and let me use my expertise to get them done. Micromanaging need not apply here, mmm'kay pumpkin?
Owner: You sure are grouchy today.
Me: Yep...35 -
$ alias sudo='sudo '
(note the intentional space within the quotes, allows using aliases with sudo)
And then:
$ alias fucking=sudo
Allows stuff like:
$ fucking rm /important-stuffs
$ fucking service foobar stop
$ fucking reboot
Enjoy!19 -
Idk if somebody already told you this today, so I'll do it just to be safe.
FUCK JAVA SERVER PAGES
FUCK JAVA SERVER FACES
FUCK JSWING
FUCK JQUERY
AND ESPECIALLY FUCK JQUERY UI
FUCK ALL OF THIS OUTDATED SHIT
I'LL NEVER USE IT AFTER SCHOOL, BECAUSE IT'S SHIT!
Repeat after me
S H I T !11 -
!Rant
> Go to co-workers working machine
> install tmux and mps-youtube
> play very subtle sounds from console
> close console but keep session running with tmux
> watch coworker go insane because he can't detect the sound source
How to make your coworker go insane in 5 easy Steps3 -
My boss (non IT background) : Our contract with X company says the website must be web 2.0 compliant.
Me : What year is it!!3 -
You know who sucks at developing APIs?
Facebook.
I mean, how are so high paid guys with so great ideas manage to come up with apis THAT shitty?
Let's have a look. They took MVC and invented flux. It was so complicated that there were so many overhyped articles that stated "Flux is just X", "Flux is just Y", and exactly when Redux comes to the stage, flux is forgotten. Nobody uses it anymore.
They took declarative cursors and created Relay, but again, Apollo GraphQL comes and relay just goes away. When i tried just to get started with relay, it seemed so complicated that i just closed the tab. I mean, i get the idea, it's simple yet brilliant, but the api...
Immutable.js. Shitload of fuck. Explain WHY should i mess with shit like getIn(path: Iterable<string | number>): any and class List<T> { push(value: T): this }? Clojurescript offers Om, the React wrapper that works about three times faster! How is it even possible? Clojure's immutable data structures! They're even opensourced as standalone library, Mori js, and api is great! Just use it! Why reinvent the wheel?
It seems like when i just need to develop a simple react app, i should configure webpack (huge fuckload of work by itself) to get hot reload, modern es and jsx to work, then add redux, redux-saga, redux-thunk, react-redux and immutable.js, and if i just want my simple component to communicate with state, i need to define a component, a container, fucking mapStateToProps and mapDispatchToProps, and that's all just for "hello world" to pop out. And make sure you didn't forget to type that this.handler = this.handler.bind(this) for every handler function. Or use ev closure fucked up hack that requires just a bit more webpack tweaks. We haven't even started to communicate to the server! Fuck!
I bet there is savage ass overengineer sitting there at facebook, and he of course knows everything about how good api should look, and he also has huge ass ego and he just allowed to ban everything that he doesn't like. And he just bans everything with good simple api because it "isn't flexible enough".
"React is heavier than preact because we offer isomorphic multiple rendering targets", oh, how hard want i to slap your face, you fuckface. You know what i offered your mom and she agreed?
They even created create-react-app, but state management is still up to you. And react-boierplate is just too complicated.
When i need web app, i type "lein new re-frame", then "lein dev", and boom, live reload server started. No config. Every action is just (dispatch) away, works from any component. State subscription? (subscribe). Isolated side-effects? (reg-fx). Organize files as you want. File size? Around 30k, maybe 60 if you use some clojure libs.
If you don't care about massive market support, just use hyperapp. It's way simpler.
Dear developers, PLEASE, don't forget about api. Take it serious, it's very important. You may even design api first, and only then implement the actual logic. That's even better.
And facebook, sincerelly,
Fuck you.17 -
Client: the platform isn't sending emails
Dev: I'll look into it
(Finds all emails are being sent without issue)
Client: I just tested and I'm not receiving emails. This is obviously a site wide bug and I'm upping the priority to "Critical". I'm also getting everyone over here involved.
(Looks into clients account)
Dev: you didn't turn the setting on to allow emails to be sent to you.
Client: this is still a site wide bug that is affecting everyone.
(Provides screenshots showing emails are being sent and opened. Client closes ticket and doesn't respond anymore)11 -
Client :- The app is slow on my device, please fix.
Developer :- Working fine on all the devices I tested, are you sure?
Client :- Yes, it's very slow. I can't accept this app.
Developer :- (Recompiles the same codebase again) Here, try this, optimized a lot of calls, took me entire day to do so.
Client :- Yes, it is working fast now
Developer :- (evil laughs)11 -
!dev
If you live in a major city and to stand still or walk slow on the left side of escalators/stairs then fuck you.
You wander around in complete ignorance of the countless last second train misses you cause.
Fuck you, go back to you slow town in the sticks!7 -
A recruiter just sent me a position which required 10+ year experience on ReactJS. So, should I reply "Good luck."?14
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People say go big or go home. As if going home is a bad thing. Hell yeah I wanna go home and I wanna take a nap when I get there.4
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!rant
Someone just downvoted four of my answers on Stackoverflow just because I commented on one of his answers that "please include some description, just code won't be helpful"
PEOPLE IF YOU CAN'T ACCEPT YOU ARE WRONG THEN GET THE FUCK OUT FROM OUR COMMUNITY AND STOP RUINING IT.2