I just saw this picture on the product page of a Thunderbolt dock. I'm not sure what this guy is doing, but no programmer of the world would mirror his laptop screen on two full size screens. Just no!

Always😂😂

Non-developers (especially factory workers) don't understand the stress a developer goes through. They say: "What stress could you possibly have? You just sit with your ass behind a computer".

Yeah.. don't get me started.

Got myself this beauty today.
Wonder what I'll use it for..

You'd think Elon Musk would've brought out genetically engineered Catgirls by now...

Good day today. Got two job interviews planned for the next 14 days!

Am I the only one who feels offended by the stupidity of who feels offended by the term "master" in GitHub?

Exactly what I fucking wanted!!!
THANK YOU FOR NOTHING!!!

Perfect timing... I have a call in 7 minutes...

On Slack
Me: I can't access the VPN
Network team: You have to create a user incident
My browser: 403
Network team: Yeah you need to be on the VPN to access the incident system
Me: 😐

When I say I'm in "DevOps" what I really mean is that I'm a full-stack engineer, DBA, system administrator, security engineer, auditor, cloud custodian, cost optimization expert, and everything else that doesn't get its own dedicated staff member here. Pretty much the catch all between developers and customer.

I like to build, tinker, and create with code.

That doesn’t mean I like to fix your computer, diagnose your internet issues, teach you to use your desktop UI, or google the same question you asked me to show you google has the answer 😑

Fuck windows and it's fuckin updates.

💻 Happy Monday mother fuckers

* This post was sponsored by the "gone on holiday" gang

“Debugging” is like being the detective in a crime drama where you are also the murderer.

Some times i do things and for a split second my brain goes "why dont u hit ctrl z that'll fix it"

So, I've been following a tutorial and explanatory series on YouTube about procedural terrain generation.

I dare saying it's going quite well!

Sales people are soulless robots.

Friday
13th
last month
full moon
17.40

who's deploying today? :)

I had an error caused by a random "i" in my code i had inserted somewhere in my IDE... to go into insert mode

Windows - what the fuck! I cannot understand why people WANT to use this - its' buggy, unstable and the user-experience leaves me with the same feeling as when i step on a dog turd barefoot.

I know Linux has been a hard road for many, even a few years back I would do an update and my day would be lost to fixing it. But it's literally made by people in their spare time! Ultra-corp Microsoft fuck it up all the time, with thousands of full time employees!

Gah. Come back steve jobs - I need a hug. (please wear your turtleneck)

Ran an app release yesterday, adding some new stuff and fixing a few bugs. Was scared this morning because APM didn't have any errors and the app was already in use by half of the userbase.

Turns out it's the most stable release so far! Day's all good again :D

Going to my very first job interview right now. Wish me luck guys! 💪

Nothing is more permanent than a temporary fix.

Use Vim. What could happen?...

Linux doesn't need viruses people fuck that shit up themselves

Does anyone else suddenly lose the ability to type properly as soon as someone is watching/pairing?

Just saw a variable in C named like this:

long time_ago; //in a galaxy far away

I laughed no stop.

*Me and my GF who works for CIA*

Me: Send nudes
GF: Whose do you want ?

An entirely typical exchange at work:

PM: How long would it take to build an application that collates Gubblefluffs and exports them as a PDF?

ME: Hard to say. What’s a Gubblefluff?

PM: Nothing complex. Its basically an object with some stuff in.

ME: Erm, okay. So I’ll define a Gubblefluff object plus methods to add edit and delete, then for each Gubblefluff have it write a line to a PDF.

PM: It will need to email that PDF to somebody.

ME: Okay, cool. “Gubblefluffs-by-email” should take about a day.

6 hours later…

ME: I’ve done Gubblefluffs-to-pdf, I’m not clear on what’s in a Gubblefluff but I’ve made it flexible so it can take almost anything.

PM: No, a Gubblefluff can ONLY be one of 4 Snigglefingers plus a timestamp and some JSON.

ME: What? Right. Okay. What’s a Snigglefinger?

PM: (sighs) A Snigglefinger is the collection of relevant Babelsets.

ME: Babelsets?

PM: Yeah, a user can have any number of Babelsets but they must correspond to one of the four types of Snigglefingers.

ME: There are users!?

PM: Of course!

ME: But I’ve not coded anything for users.

PM: Shit. I’ve told the client they can have it today. How long to add in users?

ME: And Babelsets, and Snigglefingers and the new Gubblefluff rules?

PM: Yeah.

6 days later…

ME: This is done now. It’s a beast but it works. Who should it email the PDFs to?

PM: Client X, plus cc to Y and bcc to Z.

ME: What? It doesn't support CC and BCC!

1 hour later…

ME: This is done. I’ve tested it and sent you a copy of the PDF it generates.

PM: Okay thanks. Is the cron running daily?

ME: What cron?

…

ME: Okay, so the cron’s running once a day at 8pm.

PM: Oh, it’ll need to be at 3:15pm. That’s when we’ve told the client they’ll get it.

ME: Right. I’ll change it...

PM: Also, the PDF you sent me looks nothing like the visual.

ME: What visual?
...