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EDIT: devRant April Fools joke (2017)
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@trogus and I have had an absolute blast working on devRant over the last year. However, we're strong believers in only working on a project if you're passionate about it, and over the last few months, we've sadly lost some of that passion so we've to announce, with heavy hearts, that we will both be moving on. We've decided to focus 100% of our energies on our next product, one which we are confident has billion dollar potential: Semicolon JS (http://semicolonjs.com).
We identified this sizable market opportunity as we were building out the new devRant website. Every JavaScript framework we tried left us wanting more. More efficiency. More elegance. More extensibility. That's what Semicolon JS is: more. More than a framework, it's a guiding philosophy. We believe that Semicolon JS will do for front end development what Material Design has done for user interface design. We're calling it Semicolon JS because even though you can still develop JavaScript without it, like a semicolon, we think it will soon become a standard and synonymous with quality JS development.
So comes the obvious question. What will happen to devRant? We wanted to make the announcement today because we will be officially shutting down the product in 30 days. So that gives everyone a full month to take in the last memories, look at those rants they really loved, and hopefully take some time to chat with @trogus and I about Semicolon JS and what we have planned.
With so many thanks and looking towards the future,
- @dfox and @trogus
160 -
EDIT: devRant April Fools joke (2020)
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We've been at this a few years now, and over the last 6 months we've been working closely with a brand consulting agency, and after numerous developer interviews, surveys and focus groups, we've come to realize "devRant" is simply not capturing the cultural zeitgeist of this new decade. Therefore, we have a bold new brand that will be rolling out over the coming week. devDucks is our bold vision for the future, today. devDucks speaks to a new generation of software engineers who resonate with a more upbeat, optimistic tone when they go to an anonymous web community to swear and lament their current work situation. While we finalize the new logo and other key marketing collateral, we have started a staged roll-out of our new brand styling, including the conversion of all avatars to literal devDucks. We hope this brings more joy to your ranting, as it has to ours. Sincerely, David & Tim (@dfox & @trogus) - devDucks co-founders
56 -
I like memory hungry desktop applications.
I do not like sluggish desktop applications.
Allow me to explain (although, this may already be obvious to quite a few of you)
Memory usage is stigmatized quite a lot today, and for good reason. Not only is it an indication of poor optimization, but not too many years ago, memory was a much more scarce resource.
And something that started as a joke in that era is true in this era: free memory is wasted memory. You may argue, correctly, that free memory is not wasted; it is reserved for future potential tasks. However, if you have 16GB of free memory and don't have any plans to begin rendering a 3D animation anytime soon, that memory is wasted.
Linux understands this. Linux actually has three States for memory to be in: used, free, and available. Used and free memory are the usual. However, Linux automatically caches files that you use and places them in ram as "available" memory. Available memory can be used at any time by programs, simply dumping out whatever was previously occupying the memory.
And as you well know, ram is much faster than even an SSD. Programs which are memory heavy COULD (< important) be holding things in memory rather than having them sit on the HDD, waiting to be slowly retrieved. I much rather a web browser take up 4 GB of RAM than sit around waiting for it to read the caches image off my had drive.
Now, allow me to reiterate: unoptimized programs still piss me off. There's no need for that electron-based webcam image capture app to take three gigs of memory upon launch. But I love it when programs use the hardware I spent money on to run smoother.
Don't hate a program simply because it's at the top of task manager.6 -
Behold, the SQLite new Code of Conduct:
https://sqlite.org/codeofconduct.ht...
May this be a guide to all current and future projects.
I don't think it's wholly a joke, but it is a jab at those who seemingly cannot live without having a CoC everywhere. Especially in projects, they do not actually participate in. Now watch as this gets blown out of proportion, because this will make some people really, really angry.
I truly hope this stays up!12 -
!dev
This thing is eating away at me so just shut up and listen.
I have started applying for this uni for PhD (don't judge me) and for that, I will need recommendation letters, right? So I emailed two of the people who have already agreed to write me recommendation letters, to confirm the details that I'll give the said uni to contact them. Emails were sent out on Thursday. It's now soon to be Tuesday and I haven't heard a thing back. And this is abso-fucking-lutely killing me!!!! (There's still another to be emailed but he's a bit high and mighty and I'll email him after I get feedbacks from these two about my motivation letter and CV.)
Like, when you know my whole future depends on a single email of yours, saying that I'm a good PhD candidate (and oh boy, that is a joke; considering that I'm applying for literally one of the best unis in this particular subject in the whole world... I'm well over my head, aren't I?) why would you keep me standing on one leg just to confirm your contact details? I mean I know I'm overreacting a bit considering the deadline is yonks away, but still, urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.8 -
Dude imagine being born in 12/3/4567.
Writing birth date fast af.
You could even slide your finger as a pianist.11 -
I've just noticed something when reading the EU copyright reform. It actually all sounds pretty reasonable. Now, hear me out, I swear that this will make sense in the end.
Article 17p4 states the following:
If no authorisation [by rightholders] is granted, online content-sharing service providers shall be liable for unauthorised acts of communication to the public, including making available to the public, of copyright-protected works and other subject matter, unless the service providers demonstrate that they have:
(a) made best efforts to obtain an authorisation, and
(b) made, in accordance with high industry standards of professional diligence, best efforts to ensure the unavailability of specific works and other subject matter for which the rightholders have provided the service providers with the relevant and necessary information; and in any event
(c) acted expeditiously, upon receiving a sufficiently substantiated notice from the rightholders, to disable access to, or to remove from, their websites the
notified works or other subject matter, and made best efforts to prevent their future uploads in accordance with point (b).
Article 17p5 states the following:
In determining whether the service provider has complied with its obligations under paragraph 4, and in light of the principle of proportionality, the following elements, among others, shall be taken into account:
(a) the type, the audience and the size of the service and the type of works or other subject matter uploaded by the users of the service; and
(b) the availability of suitable and effective means and their cost for service providers.
That actually does leave a lot of room for interpretation, and not on the lawmakers' part.. rather, on the implementer's part. Say for example devRant, there's no way in hell that dfox and trogus are going to want to be tasked with upload filters. But they don't have to.
See, the law takes into account due diligence (i.e. they must give a damn), industry standards (so.. don't half-ass it), and cost considerations (so no need to spend a fortune on it). Additionally, asking for permission doesn't need to be much more than coming to an agreement with the rightsholder when they make a claim to their content. It's pretty common on YouTube mixes already, often in the description there's a disclaimer stating something like "I don't own this content. If you want part of it to be removed, get in touch at $email." Which actually seems to work really well.
So say for example, I've had this issue with someone here on devRant who copypasted a work of mine into the cancer pit called joke/meme. I mentioned it to dfox, didn't get removed. So what this law essentially states is that when I made a notice of "this here is my content, I'd like you to remove this", they're obligated to remove it. And due diligence to keep it unavailable.. maybe make a hash of it or whatever to compare against.
It also mentions that there needs to be a source to compare against, which invalidates e.g. GitHub's iBoot argument (there's no source to compare against!). If there's no source to compare against, there's no issue. That includes my work as freebooted by that devRant user. I can't prove my ownership due to me removing the original I posted on Facebook as part of a yearly cleanup.
But yeah.. content providers are responsible as they should be, it's been a huge issue on the likes of Facebook, and really needs to be fixed. Is this a doomsday scenario? After reading the law paper, honestly I don't think it is.
Have a read, I highly recommend it.
http://europarl.europa.eu/doceo/...13 -
What the hell is wrong with me?
It was even less than maybe 2 months ago since I loved my job, had co-workers I happily called friends, wrote code I was proud of, and felt like I had a meaning and a place in the industry. I had plans for my future and everything was great.
But this entire week felt terrible. Everything was awful.
I despised every single word of those idiots I called friends.
Their craft - our craft - is a colossal and monumental failure; A sad joke, that insults more than it entertains.
I can't bring myself to program, not even to fuck around at home...
And I have no idea what to do now.10 -
I made a bit of a tradition of building a list of hardware that's superior to whatever Crapple is releasing whenever Crapple releases something - and for the first time, I decided to make it public instead of just sharing it with some coworkers.
Making it public however took some time (luckily, yesterday was a holiday here, so I got it done now) - at least, making it looking "not like shit" took some time.
So enjoy my (very basic) bootstrap templated, yet possibly useful list of builds superior to the Crapple Rag Mini (which is a completely fictional entity not resembling any existing company in the world. Promise. Totally. Penguin's swear.)
The list can be found here - expect to see an update anytime Crapple pushes new shit to the market:
http://il-pinguino.com/superiortocr...
(possibly not safe for work, children, catholics and SJWs). Yeah, no SSL cert, currently. Hell, it's a private server, it doesn't process any of your info and it doesn't offer downloads... I might add one in the future.
I hope you can forgive my shameless self-promotion, it's not a commercial site, there are no ads/shitcoin miners on it and i don't get a share/cut/whatever - just a small humorous joke project. For now.
BTW: I didn't attempt to build any of those. It should work, but please don't sue me if it doesn't.5 -
Keeping up the tradition!
https://devrant.com/rants/15030806/...
Now powered by the awesome Claude 4!!!! The latest bleeding edge gem in the LLM trend that by the bold claims of big tech and various youtubers is stunning and will replace programmers/insane/godsmacking
This time, I decided to post because I was on the verge of a mental breakdown and I had a firsthand experience and a bit of free time, so instead of waiting that the rage boils down, I just took the chance and so we have a fresh AI experience to proof my previous rants.
Problem:
I have an application that manages interactions between a Mediator pattern between Kafka, some http listeners and other stuff (Rabbitmq, Redis (redis= another shit) etc etc)
Kafka handling was already done, i needed to exacly replicate what was being done with kafka for http. I said, heck, we have AI, it's good to do bovine stupid work, why not let him copy the whole structure, they have also agents on copilot on vs code, and they pulled out Claude 4, let's give it faith again.
Big error.
Beside the havoc the fucking agentic AI not being able to fully copy an already existing pattern and scaffolding, it did half shit wrong.
One of the most frustrating parts, since today I have an example, was this (summarized version of the prompt because I was very much more specific also giving the AI files and pointers to the code and explaining it):
PROMPT:"I have to return fake http transports, just copy what exists for kafka and adapt it to a new transport type called "Http", this is the structure {json with the class}
AI: "I need to see the current ITransportsItemResponse interface first to understand the structure, then I'll modify ...... BLAH BLAH"
Of course I had to review the whole code.
PROMPT:"any valid reason why you dumb shithead didn't respect the IGetKafkaConnectionsItemResponse and generic IGetTransportsItemResponse format and you pulled out of your ass a full blown IGetHttpConnectionsItemResponse with extra properties when compared to IGetKafkaConnectionsItemResponse"
AI: "You're absolutely right, I fucked up. Looking at the IGetHttpConnectionsItemResponse interface, it has way more properties than the basic IGetTransportsItemResponse and IGetKafkaConnectionsItemResponse interfaces. BLAH BLAH wall of text reasoning"
Then it modified the api calls to suit the kafka objects and didn't update any class of the Http transports
PROMPT:"So you tought it was a good idea to leave the #sym:IGetHttpConnectionsItemResponse like it is respect to #sym:IGetKafkaConnectionsItemResponse ? Why? And answer the why don't apologize like a little wuss"
AI: "I left them different because they represent different domain concepts... BLAH BLAH EXPLANATIONS WALL OF TEXT"
Now ai tought it was good to do this and that but....
PROMPT: "In your fucking careful analysis didn't you reallize the "items" object are a basic representation and in the fuckin same folder there is also the object with the full set of properties?"
Literally it missed objects used in the same folder for different scopes and modified stuff without caring.
AI: "You're absolutely right. I missed that there are TWO different response types BLA BLAH"
I won't continue to not get too lenghty than it already is but the point is:
AI IS RETARDED.
People say it will replace programmers.
People says agents are the future.
Sad reality it's an overglorified broken ball of if/else that can't do shit well beside bovine work.
No amount of tutoring it with careful prompts, explainig the code and whatever else is going to fix it.
I've used gpt since gpt 3 and no model has been up to anything good, not even NLP. They suck also at the sole scope they were invented for.
I tried to ask GPT to make a curriculum based on another, I gave it the example curriculum and another one with the informations.
I carefully explained that it must not be a copy of the other, they are 2 different roles and to play by fantasy to make it look it was written by 2 different persons and to not copy stuff from the other.
Hope lost. It looked like the other curriculum was copied over and some words swapped, lol.
What a fucking joke, lmao, I am studying deep learning and machine learning to get on the bandwagon to make my professional figure more appealing, but I can already feel this is a waste of time.7 -
Friends/Seniors : "Hey, you should take these courses. They are easy and you can get easily an A!"
Who the fuck decide what optional courses to take based on if it's easy or not?!
Students take them because :
a. They are interested in the subjects
b. Knowledge/skills after attending the courses will be beneficial for future career.
I put my money more on option b though, i.e I'd rather get C's in courses that I found it useful, than getting A's in useless courses.
(Btw, my avg grade is just a little above Cs)
If my sole purpose was just to get straight A's, I would enroll in liberal art courses instead of this stressing half-CS course we're in.
You're a joke to yourself, that's why I don't hang out with you.3 -
I’m doing my last two days at my current job. (I resigned to go work full-time on a startup project.)
While doing some last commits, I couldn’t resist to not put an easter egg in my current running project (an e-commerce web application)... I’m hoping to be able to trigger it in the future when it’s being used by a dozen of our clients.. 🌝 Hopefully, my follow-up dev will get the joke and won’t remove these lines of code.. -
Imagine 100 years from now, what would programming be like?
My answer :
Speaking the commands directly to the computer and hope it runs
Your answer?9 -
Just a short story of me and how things can go right after so many years.
This was my first job. Only two other programmers in the company of like 10 employers.
First one is some one who stopped learning like 10 years ago. Winforms Ftw huh..
The other one was my boss who was really a pro but died not too long ago.
Because of this I got the responsibility for all his projects and the future ones. Beside that I'm also employed for our customer support. So pretty much to do here. Even new stuff I never heard of I have to learn asap now. Of course I have learned pretty much here. But I have reached the point where I have reached the maximum. I can't really learn much more. The salary is a joke.
But my other boss does not really care. Emotionally he has the feelings of a stick. No joke. This is going on even before the dead.
Many coworkers just gave up or got even sick of here.
But now I'm taking my consequences. I was looking for a new job now.
I was really lucky there.
Wrote 3 job application and even got invited 3 times. 2 were declined (luckily). The third one was a dream. For the people, the bonuses etc.
Now I'm waiting to sign the contract and the cancelation of my current one. The salary is a joke. Not chance of increasing. -
I traveled back in time and broke the wieners, arms and legs off of all the ancient statues.
Edit: Second Baz here from the future, this joke will go down in history as the best joke ever written.
Edit: Third Baz here: Are you guys doing the time travel joke? -
Many decades ago, people thought about future by writing stories and making movies with flying cars and made up technology beyond belief but what we got today are food ordering apps and dating apps.
Well, its good those cars never came out, because I would rather order food at home and watch Netflix than fly around.
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