The following dialogue is inspired by a career of similar conversations.

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Manager: What's the status?

Dev: It works, but I just found a security hole. That contractor did not sanitize all the different kinds of user input and someone approved the PR with "LGTM." A customer can run malicious code and get us in real trouble. I'm patching this now.

Manager: How long with that take?

Dev: If done right, 4-5 days. If done fast, I can squeeze 3.

Manager: Let's not boil the ocean. We need to ship by tomorrow so we can't spend too much time on something that we can fix later.

Dev: Surprising deadline aside, I made a Jira workflow state called "Later" for when you close the ticket after this conversation.

Manager: We need to talk about how your negativity impacts the team.

Dev: Sorry. I just don't want to knowingly release a critical vuln.

Manager: We can introduce a procedural change and have ops vet the documents. We already have a screen where they can approve what uploads get to the customer. If we let a bad egg through, then we'll right-size according to customer feedback.

Dev: Lawsuits are feedback?

Manager:

Manager: I mean

Dev: *Googles "brain parasite symptoms"*

Manager: Hey. The kind of thing you are worried about probably won't happen soon, and we'll be able to handle things in the short term.

Dev: Because it's better that our staff have unprotected sex with the Internet on our corporate network than use a few more days to move everyone along worry-free?

Manager: It's a calculated risk. We're Agile after all, right?

Dev: When it's an excuse.

This week I quit the corporate life in favour of a much smaller company (60 people in total) and i never felt so good.

After 3 years in 2 big corporations, I began to hate coding mainly because of:
- internal political games. It's like living inside House of Cards everyday.
- management and non-tech people choosing tech stacks. Angular 4 + Bootstrap 4 alpha version + AG-Grid + IE11. Ohhh yeah. Not.
- overtime (even if it was paid double). I never did a single minute of OT for fixing something that I caused. I spent days fixing things caused by others and implementing promises that other people made.
- meetings. I spend 50-60% of the time in pointless meetings (I tracked them in certain time intervals) but the workload is same like I was working 8 hours / day.
- working in encapsulated environments without access to internet or with limited access to internet (no GitHub, no StackOverflow etc.)
- continuously changing work scope. Everyday the management wants something new introduced in the current sprint/release and nobody accepts that they have to remove other things from the scope in order to proper implement everything.
- designers that think they are working for Apple and are arguing with things like "but it's just a button! why does it take 2 days to implement?"
- 20 apps installed additionally on my phone (Citrix Receiver, RSA Token, Mobile@Work Suite etc.) just to be able to read my email
- working with outdated IDEs and tools because they have to approve every new version of a software.
- making tickets for anything. Do you want a glass of water? Open a ticket and ask for it.
- KPIs. KPIs everywhere. You don't deserve anything because the KPIs were not accomplished.

The bad part of the above things is that they affect your day-to-day personality even if you don't see it. You become more like a rock with almost 0 feelings and interests.

This is my first written "rant". If anyone is interested, I will post different situations that will explain a lot of the above aspects.

Microsoft Internet Explorer is my least favorite enterprise software. We are forced to use it. I hate being forced. This is like being asked to climb a mountain with a broken leg...not fun, painful, hopeless, threatening, discouraging, slow, and ugly, and infected...it is downright evil corporate bullshit.

<!--[if IE]>
<link rel="styleshit" type=trash/css" href="die-die-die-you-evil-bastard.css"/>
<![endif]-->

Just push it over the edge with a chrome sword stuck in its back. I will just sit here by the fire with my pet fox and watch the opera as I listen to vivaldi.

Current one,

I had a hunch it's gonna be a shitshow the moment I first met the scrum master, I thought it could be a good challenge to see if I can salvage this sinking ship, I had never regret something as much as this one,

It's full of political bs, people pretending to work, different divisions shifting blames, IT division that exist just because, Business guys not having any clear picture of what they want to do, probably something common in the corporate scene,

Most recent bs,

1. They restricted the internet access on the floor, limited it to be accessible only by non IT person,

Reason allegedly being, the business guys always had a prejudice towards the IT guys, they have always been envious to the IT guys being the one having all the spotlight by only sitting around the office while the business guys had to go outside and travel a lot.

The reason was justified by their response during most recent meeting to discuss "new feature", when the IT guys mentioned about the internet being down, the business head's response was,

"That is unfortunate, it makes sense though, it's (access point) not called IT-NET, soo..."

2. By the end of last year, there were series of full day meeting conducted for a whole week to discuss about the "new feature", suffice to say it was meaningless,

The decision kept changing after several more subsequent meetings, and the current (not final) decision has nothing remotely similar to the one discussed last year,

3. Recently someone had trouble with their git branch, apparently several hundred files were deleted, and several hundred others had changes, and the person had no recollection of doing so, I checked the origin, the most recent push was from several days ago,

I asked to check the git status, and it's all unstaged files, so I told the person to install a gui, that should help to see the changes,

To my surprise, in a low voice the person whispered "tch, such a bother", I pretended I did not hear that, though I still insisted the person to use a gui, but ignoring what I said, the person kept asking what's wrong to another person, they refuse to use gui though they always did merging/branching mistakes

Tried to access an intranet page using Chrome and this happened...

There was an Internet hiccup at work.
The only sites I could access was Bing and Microsoft.
Not even the internal corporate network was accessible!
I think Big Brother knows me quite well!!! 😏

I think UPS' Api documentation and service must be the worst documented and build API I have ever seen from a corporate.

1. The developer website is a mess. A total mess. You can barely find the API type you are looking for.

2. When you get the API and download the documentation, the files, .pdf etc is still a mess. Pages long that most are craps.

3. Each request returns Status Code 200. Even if it is an error. This blew my mind.

4. Each request, based on error type or based on tracking activity returns different JSON schema.

For example, the JSON Schema for a shipment in transit is different from JSON schema for a shipment that has been delivered. A shipment that has been returned, a shipment that required signature etc. They are different from each other.

5. And the worst. They do not provide with test tracking codes. I have found some on internet, but they do not work in development and production environment.

Spent 5 hours deploying the product to a dedicated private VPN to integrate with customer's corporate network.
Boss: You have to coordinate with the sales team to deploy it on their computers.
...
Sales Team: This shortcut shows Internet Explorer icon can we change it to our product icon?

Enough corporate Internet for today :-)