My dumb CEO just hired an even dumber CTO. The new CTO asked me the following questions...

1. What is GitHub?

2. What is JSON?

3. What’s an array?

4. What is Get and what is Post?

5. When an iPhone is offline, can it call an API on our server to tell us it’s offline?

6. I know you’ve spent 11 month the writing this backend in PHP but can you change it to Java now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because it’s better.
Me: How?
Dumb CTO: because it is.

7. I know you’ve started to rewrite this codebase I Java but can you convert it to Node.JS now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because Facebook uses it.

8. What is MySQL? Why aren’t you using a database instead?

9. What does NULL mean?

Somehow, I doubt that asshole is remotely qualified for the job.

Fakin shyt for brains.

Embrace the notch!

Iphone 8: no headphones
Iphone x: no home button
Iphone 11: no speakers
Iphone 13: no camera
Iphone 15: no screen
Iphone 16: no phone

Getting really sick of brand naming conventions these days, Youtube just suggested me a video called "Samsung Galaxy S20 Ultra vs iPhone 11 Pro Max!"

Like what are those, Transformer names? 🙄

Dev: Hi Guys, we've noticed on crashlytics that one of your screens has a small crash. Can you look?

Me: Ok we had a look, and it looks to us to be a memory leak issue on most of the other screens. Homepage, Search, Product page etc. all seem to have sizeable memory leaks. We have a few crashes on our screens saying iPhone 11's (which have 4gb of ram) are crashing with only 1% of ram left.

What we think is happening is that we have weak references to avoid circular dependencies. Our weak references are most likely the only things the system would be able to free up, resulting in our UI not being able to contact the controller, breaking everything. Because of the custom libraries you built that we have to use, we can't really catch this.

Theres not really a lot we can do. We are following apples recommendations to avoid circular dependencies and memory leaks. The instruments say our screens are behaving fine. I think you guys will have to fix the leaks. Sorry.

Dev 1: hhhmm, what if you create a circular dependency? Then the UI won't loose any of the data.

Dev 2: Have you tried looking at our analytics to understand how the user is getting to your screens?

=================================

I've been sitting here for 15 minutes trying to figure out how to respond before they come online. I am fucking horrified by those responses to "every one of your screens have memory leaks"

God, the iPhone 11 pro's triple cameras ARE SO UGLY. OnePlus 7 has three back cameras and it's not ugly, so it can be done! It's just so, so fucking ugly. It looks like where you might plug in a high voltage power cable or something. And of course it still has a notch. That's two design failures in one expensive phone. No thanks!

(From owner of iPad Pro - not an Apple hater!)

IOS 11 Beta 2 can play gifs in the default Photos app!!!

I've had today a meeting with the CEO regarding some designs. Here have some quotes that he made:

1. So you can click, click, click, click, click
2. numbers are so complicated so I just said something
3. I like the vibe in Amsterdam
4. We are doing a rebranding. Our rebranding document is the color of the 2 blues and one orange
5. I've to ask my wife for the design (with no design experience) to make the rebranding documents
6. In <the app our technicians/support use>, you can brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrb
7. This is what differeniate us between most applications; FAVORITE SQUARES
8. I never watch that mess. I don't even know if it works or have ever worked with it. (talking about a simple table view)
9. You have been reported to the admins (in an admin-only application for our customers)
10. It's always nice to see developers think; when I don't think
11. But it's already an iPhone (when looking at android designs & cries in largest userbase in my country)

3.5 years with my OnePlus 3, switched today to iPhone 11.
Starting regretting it.

Think in the Design of iPhone 11 John Ive was absent; this was Tom (Cook)'s idea and inspiration 😆😆😆😆

I am in need of a new Technopoly/Chinese pocket surveillance mobile device. Since I am obligated by work to own a pocket surveillance device, and I have been an iPhone user for a while now and all my stuff is there, does anyone have a recommendation in the “11” range of those devices? Any bad experiences with them? Looking to spend not more than $500 for a used one (looking on Swappa.com).

Former android fan, I’ve been using iPhone SE for a while, and now I’m ready to give feedback. We are talking about brand new, iOS 11.2.2 device, never jailbraked (jailbroken?) or made anything fucked up to.

The main problem is battery life. It’s poor. I mean, my cheap ass Meizu m3s stands for about three times longer. Now I always need to carry power bank or charger around, keeping it up from one outlet to another.

iOS 11 is unstable and flawed. Music widget on lock screen freezes randomly, ui falls apart sometimes, apps sometimes start in landscape mode. I never found android ui falling apart, just like webpage marked up by interns.

Transferring files to Linux PC is huge pain in the ass. Nuff said.

Aaaand... that’s all. There is literally only three problems present.

On the other hand, there is huge advantages over android:

Speed. It’s unbeatable. It’s absolutely stunning. Need camera? Here it is, quarter second away. Android camera needed straight 15 seconds to start up. Taking picture? Here it is, flawless as always. Zero motion blur, gamma is ideal, focus is so sharp so you may hurt your eyes. Need 100 pictures? Here you go, just press the button and hold it. Maybe s9 or another shiny ass android takes pictures as fast as iPhone, but I bet my iPhone will be taking pictures same flawlessly after 5 years, while your android will probably become sluggish ass piece of crap.

Not. A. Single. Fucking. Lag.

Asphalt 8? 60 FPS all the way down. 2GIS? Fraction of a second away. That’s it, that’s how it have to be.

Sound quality. Just as neat as my Sansa Clip. EarPods are crap, so I’m using my SE215. Not going to ever come back to Sansa. Xperia TX had much less quality audio btw.

Apps. As long as the whole enterprise world sucking Apple’s dick, apps are running silky smooth and the things are not going to change. Come on. Apple is the king nowadays, admit it or not.

Keyboard is amazing. Screen is amazing. It’s just that pleasing. The sounds iPhone makes are great, while android sounds piss me off and making me hold myself from throwing the phone straight to the wall.

iPhone makes me feel cared about. Everything is on it’s place, everything fits perfectly. You are watching YouTube, you need to adjust volume and volume bar appears as tiny strip on the very top, just to not distract you. Make screenshot, draw something on it, share and hit delete. Every action you need is one tap away. Look up word? One tap away. Position the cursor between words? Polished as fuck, here you go, have your handy magnifying glass. Adblock in safari? Install it from the App Store and it will be literally two taps away, right at the settings. No VPN needed. Safari doesn’t become slow with Adblock, it’s just the same amazingly fast browser, but without ads. And Apple Music is just one dollar a month for students, filled with high quality songs.

Even google apps working better on iOS.

The advantages are clear for me, while downsides aren’t significant. @irene, you wanted to know what I’ll tell after a while, so I’m saying it proudly:

I’m never ever coming back to android.

iPhone X 😍

The Apollo Guidance Computer had RAM of 4KB, a 32KB hard disk. It was fairly compact for its time, measuring 23.5 in x 11.8 in x 5.9 in, but weighed around 33 lb.

The computing power of the entire federal government was less than an iPhone 4s when Apollo 11 landed on the moon.

Microwave ovens typically have more computing power than the Apollo.

Did they really landed or it was just scripted? Your views please

Iphone 11:-selling one kidney

Iphone 12:-selling two kidneys

Iphone 13:- Selling two kidney , two eyes, two lungs😂😂

Iphone 14:- Selling brain

To whom I am selling brain:- YOUR BRAIN IS USELESS😑

ME:-why

To whom I am selling brain:- If your brain was usefull you would not sell your eyes,lungs etc for a phone

ME:-😶😶😶😶😶😶😓😓

Lol😂😂

!ios

Just Happy..

Jailbroken iPhone X

!! Disclaimer !!
I‘m not the Dev of this Jailbreak nor am I an Professional these are the steps that worked for me best.
Oh and, Jailbreaking will result in losing your Warranty. Don‘t do it if you don‘t know what you are doing!

Don‘t work with the official one?
Coolstar asked ignition.fun to host their Developer Account needed one.
The Website will have Ads, but they didn‘t change one Line in the JB itself. So no ads on the Device itself.

1. Go to ignition.fun in Safari (No Computer needed)
2. Click on Electra MP
3. Download it
4. Verify the Profile
5. Turn Off Siri
6. Turn on Airplane Mode
7. Restart your iDevice
8. Check if Airplane Mode is still on
9. Open Electra App and Press the Jailbreak Button (iPhone will restart)
10. Cydia Icon will be shown (If not -> Check Step 5. and 6. and then Start from 7.)
11. Open Electra again and click „Enable Jailbreak“
12. (I think Device will respring) You can now use Cydia