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Search - "lmgtfy"
My grandmother asked me to help her find an article about a recipe for a chocolate cake. The recipe she wanted was the first result on Google, so I sent her a LMGTFY link (let me Google that for you, a website that writes by itself the word or the sentence). Later on the same day, she said that her laptop was possessed by a ghost.4
I was out Thursday at the Hospital. I'm what the doctors would call "Ill as fuck"
So, Friday I’m back in the office to the usual: "How was that appointment?"
I know people mean well when they ask this. So, I do the polite thing and tell them it went as well as it could.
Realistically it does't matter how well it went... They haven't cured Crohn's because I showed up to the appointment. They know I'm fucked already.
But, push it down, add it to the future aneurism.
I had to go through the usual resignation meetings with managers:
"We"re fucked now you're going"
"we need to get a handle on how fucked"
"already done that for you, here"s a trello board, very fucked."
"we need to put a plan together to drop all the junior devs in the shit with the work you’ve been doing"
"You need about 4 devs, please refer to the previous trello board for your plan"
Meanwhile, me and Morpheus are in constant communication because all of this is like a Shakespearean comedy.
So, I overhear a conversation between a Junior Dev and the Solution Architect.
[SA] took over the project because he knows better than two tried and tested senior devs -_- (fuckwit).
JD: "It took me one and a half days to build it out"
SA: "Yeah, it must have taken me twice as long... It must be a problem with the project, you should just be able to check it out and run it."
JD: "I know, it has to be wrong"
All of this is about Morpheus' work of art, of an Ionic 3 hybrid app.
I fumed quietly at my desk because I've been ordered by the Stazi to be hands off.
Since Morpheus and me were pulled from the project [JD] and [JD2] were dropped into it to get it over the line.
It"s unfortunate and I was clear and honest with my advice to them: I personally would not take over the project because I"d be way out of my depth... Oh, and the App works, so uh, there's no work to do.
They have been constantly at our desks. Asking fuckdiculous questions about how to perform basic tasks. So they can get Morpheus" frigging masterpiece to the user.
It"s like watching that touch up of jesus that got borked by an amateur. Shit I have google, it's like watching this happen: http://ti.me/NnNSAb
[JD] came to me Friday evening.
"I can’t get this to build to iOS or install on [Test Analyst]'s phone."
Me: "No worries brother, where are you stuck right now?"
[JD] describes the first steps with clear indication he hasn't googled his problem.
Life lesson: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=lmgtfy
Que an hour of me showing [JD] how to build an Ion3 project for iOS. Fuck it, your man's in a bind and he"s asked politely for help. I can show him quicker than he can read 3 sets of docos.
I took him through 'ionic cordova build ios', the archive and release processes in XCode 9, then the apk bundling process for droid. Finally we have an MAM so the upload process for that too.
All the while cleaning up his AppIDs, Profiles, deployment attempts.
Damn they were a mess.
I did this with a smile on my face, not because I could say "I told you so"... But. because when any developer asks you how to do something. If you know how to do it, you should always be happy to learn them some new tricks!
Dude's alright, he's been dropped in the shit. Now I know how badly so I'll help him learn things that are useful to his role, but aren't project specific.
As a plausi-senior dev (I'll tell you about that later); it's my job to make sure my team have what they need to go home smiling!
I’m not a hateful fucker, the guy asked me an honest question so I am happy to give him the honest answer.
I took him through it a few times and explained a few best practices. Most were how to do his AppID and ProvProfile set up. Good lad, took it all on board.
However! In his frustration, he pointed the finger at Morpheus' "David" (ref: Michelangelo).
He miraculously morphed into a shiny colourful parrot and fed me SA's line:
"you should just be able to build from a clean clone"
My response was calm and clear:
"You can, it took me 20 minutes on Thursday evening. I was bored and curios, so I wanted to validate Morpheus' work. Here it is on my iOS device and my Android device. It would have taken me 5 if my laptop wasn’t so horrifically out of date."
I validated Morpheus' work so I have evidence, I trust that brilliant bastard.
I just need to be able to prove it's good.
[JD] took this on board.
Maybe listening to two tried and trusted senior devs is better than listening to a headstrong Solution Architect.
When JD left for the weekend I was working a late one (https://www.devrant.io/rants/874765).
His sign off was beautiful.
"I think I can happily admit defeat on this one, it can wait until Monday."
To which I replied: "no worries brother, if you need a hand give me a shout."
Rule 1: Don't be a cunt.
Rule 2: If someone needs help and you can give it: Give it!
Rule 3: Don't interrupt James' cigarette time.
Rule 4: goto Rule 3.4
i've made a lmgtfy remake for fun over the weekend!
it's still not finished but i'd like some feedback
here is a demo: http://ntyhaq.dah.wtf/g/...!!!
(on mobile you have to tap)14
Sent my coworker a LMGTFY link sarcastically, and he legitimately thought it was a great tool for showing people how you search for stuff on the internet.
This same client had never in his 50+ years on this Earth, used a debit or credit card to pay for a meal at a restaurant. Needless to say, we made him use his company card for every meal on the rest of the trip.
He also wears a black trench coat... Everyday.
Why I love this community : I posted this rant: https://devrant.com/rants/1084912/...
And by once @Root wrote a comment about lmgtfy, I was looking for that since more than a month didn’t remember name and by once I got it without asking!
Thank you @Root and this fucking awesome community.
Hope to spend happy coming years with y’all!17
My prederred method of communication is over email.
A guy I've built an ecommerce platform and affiliate tracking for was sending me a lot of IMs. So I disabled Google chat. Then he started sending me texts to let me know he sent WhatsApp messages.
Last week he sent me a text to let me know to check WhatsApp. The message there was extremely vague and a minute later an actual email came in explaining the actual issue.
He's fucking with me right?
Then yesterday he messaged me a random series of questions, some that could have easily been googled, that on a holiday while I'm out with my family, should have definitely been over email, because they weren't immediate issues. I actually pictured him drinking at a bbq when he was writing them.
I was about to quit this dude but I get some nice monthly bonuses.
Sorry, but if you ask a dumb question over IM/Forum/Email/any-other-internet-medium, I'm just going to send you a lmgtfy.com link.2
Inspired by my professor’s rant about people don’t know how to google stuffs, I made a scriptable script to solve all those issues. It’s a super smart script that shows detailed step by step solution of how to tackle down a problem
Here is the repo:
Please try it out, you will love it, I promise
Disclaimer: I am not responsible for the ending of any relationship after using this script3
FUCK documentation that says you can find documentation on the web for something else this requires -- that's where I found THIS documentation! Why not just link it or put a simple example of how to use YOUR product!3
I literally just answered an issue by copying the lmgtfy.com link.
The reporter is a fellow programmer. Shouldn't that at least require some sort of knowledge about how to use Google?
When your colleagues keep asking you questions about how to code this and that through messenger, and you keep replying them with lmgtfy links. "Was that so hard?"
Sure just interrupt me constantly all day, I don't have anything important to do.
"Can you provide an estimate when X will be done?"
"Can you estimate how many questions my colleagues will have?"
Not even just interns. My god.1
A friend just asked his colleagues why IntelliJ can't do reverse debugging and was told that it's impossible. It's not impossible, gdb does it, pdb does it. Probably other debuggers do it too.
Why do many devs believe that if they haven't heard of something, it doesn't exist?1