devRant - A fun community for developers to connect over code, tech & life as a programmer

Colleague: Hey could you review this diff?
Me: *opens Bitbucket*
Bitbucket: "Upgrade to Symfony 5", 19 files added, 732 modified, 14 removed
Me, 3 mouse scrolls and 20 seconds later: ✅

rant diff pull request code review

3

Do you know how to spoil my weekend? Interview me on Friday afternoon for my dream position and tell me that "you'll let me know Monday latest".

Guess who couldn't mentally switch off over the weekend?

rant stress anxiety weekend interviews

4

My team: please read that article about blameless postmortems, there's a lot we could take on board to improve team morale

My team extra-passive-aggressive at the first incident: why did you do that? That was never gonna work

rant blame culture postmortems teams

3

"Getting me up to speed" apparently consists in a 20 minute-long demo on a project I've never heard of with a technology I don't know.

Then I'm supposed to deliver the v2 of that piece of work in a timely manner 😰

rant

6

I started asking to get draft templates in German language. So at least we'll know what the site will look like what when text is very long and customers are called "Sebastian Wiedenmann" instead of "John Doe".

Remember English is a very concise language and you always get bad CSS surprises when applying translations.

random english css template internationalization internationalisation international i18n localisation localization german l10n

2

PO: Here's a small cool feature I thought of, should be easy enough *shows very basic draft spec*
Me: Cool, how does it work for logged out users? What about customers in Spain? Does it work with US sales tax? Do we need to update the privacy policy? Do we have translations? What's the fallback if it breaks? Who will be maintaining the content?
PO: ...
PO: I'll get back to you

*never hears about feature again*

rant project management specs dev po scrum

4

Ah, PHP's misleading function names.

rant doc unique uniqid php

11

I was getting frustrated with my 4 years old work MacBook with 8 GB of RAM, insufficient to run 2 Vagrant boxes simultaneously. Conveniently the letter E just stopped working and IT couldn't fix it, they now have to order a new one.

rant macbook pro sorry not sorry keyboard macbook upgrade

1

Don't you dare inviting me to a meeting starting at 12pm.

rant lunch meeting

3

This is how one of our junior devs solved a merge conflict

rant merge conflict wtf oh god why who hurt you code quality isset php

20

You can actually measure the seniority of a developer by the number of monitors they use.

joke/meme senior developer monitor

1

I work with all sorts of sporty/adventurous people going hiking, climbing, running ironmans, travelling to the end of the world who won't eat the heel of the bread loaf.

random coworkers kitchen office bread picky

Ticket from legal department: implement GDPR recommendation, log customer consent, separate checkboxes to opt-in to T&C and newsletter

Ticket from marketing department: small print T&C on sign-up, remove "conversion killer" checkbox

This is why we need a product owner

rant scrum gdpr gdpr is coming marketing law

4

CEO of previous job, only reachable by email, coming to the office twice a week at best, business trips at no notice, answers every third email, addressing the dev team:
"You need to plan better. A lot of the delays and bugs are due to poor communication and unaddressed issues."

I don't miss that job.

rant micromanagement ceo condescending communication boss problems

1

A friend shared his feelings with me this morning.

undefined rtfm managers who promoted him? google it lmgtfy non-tech people

1

Every "hacking" scene in every movie.

undefined hollywood hacking cringe skyfall operation swordfish

8

It's 2017 and Ubuntu still doesn't automatically switch the sound to your earphones when you plug them in the jack. :'(

undefined ux music ubuntu headphones earphones

7

While working from home, my wife overlooked my work Slack chat.

She saw me typing "can you ssh?" and told me "that's a bit rude".

She understood it as "can you shush?".

undefined i love my wife ssh tech slang

4

I cannot write my shopping list on paper anymore. I'm unable to sort it alphabetically, refactor it, group the items by theme...

undefined paper wk59 irl ocd writing code quality

if ($id != $product->getId()) {
return false;
}
return false;

What's the point?

undefined rant wk58 junior code code quality legacy code wtf

3

"Could you send me the project specifications and requirements?"

*sends 3 edited screenshots*

undefined specifications specs product management project devops

2

When you've been invited to follow all company calendars.

undefined meetings calendar devops company

Being in the office on Stack Overflow and involuntarily eyeing the job adverts.

undefined not what it looks like i love my job job adverts stackoverflow job offers

1

Oh, you want to grab the scroll bar? How about I resize your window instead?

undefined mac apple chrome scroll bar ux macos

3

When you focus on adding functionality and the UI is barely usable.

undefined ibm watson silverpop ui