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Search - "mail email stupid"
Gets an email from office facilities.
Email - A package has been received under your name, please collect it at the mail room in the 5th floor.
Me (excited as hell) - Yay! My devRant stickers are finally here!!!!
Gets to the mail room as fast as she could only to find that the stupid package was a stupid promotional offer from a stupid bank sending me a stupid credit card that I never even asked for. That entire day was a disappointment :-(
When am I getting my stickers! It's been ages!8
Paranoid Developers - It's a long one
Backstory: I was a freelance web developer when I managed to land a place on a cyber security program with who I consider to be the world leaders in the field (details deliberately withheld; who's paranoid now?). Other than the basic security practices of web dev, my experience with Cyber was limited to the OU introduction course, so I was wholly unprepared for the level of, occasionally hysterical, paranoia that my fellow cohort seemed to perpetually live in. The following is a collection of stories from several of these people, because if I only wrote about one they would accuse me of providing too much data allowing an attacker to aggregate and steal their identity. They do use devrant so if you're reading this, know that I love you and that something is wrong with you.
That time when...
He wrote a social media network with end-to-end encryption before it was cool.
He wrote custom 64kb encryption for his academic HDD.
He removed the 3 HDD from his desktop and stored them in a safe, whenever he left the house.
He set up a pfsense virtualbox with a firewall policy to block the port the student monitoring software used (effectively rendering it useless and definitely in breach of the IT policy).
He used only hashes of passwords as passwords (which isn't actually good).
He kept a drill on the desk ready to destroy his HDD at a moments notice.
He started developing a device to drill through his HDD when he pushed a button. May or may not have finished it.
He set up a new email account for each individual online service.
He hosted a website from his own home server so he didn't have to host the files elsewhere (which is just awful for home network security).
He unplugged the home router and began scanning his devices and manually searching through the process list when his music stopped playing on the laptop several times (turns out he had a wobbly spacebar and the shaking washing machine provided enough jittering for a button press).
He brought his own privacy screen to work (remember, this is a security place, with like background checks and all sorts).
He gave his C programming coursework (a simple messaging program) 2048 bit encryption, which was not required.
He wrote a custom encryption for his other C programming coursework as well as writing out the enigma encryption because there was no library, again not required.
He bought a burner phone to visit the capital city.
He bought a burner phone whenever he left his hometown come to think of it.
He bought a smartphone online, wiped it and installed new firmware (it was Chinese; I'm not saying anything about the Chinese, you're the one thinking it).
He bought a smartphone and installed Kali Linux NetHunter so he could test WiFi networks he connected to before using them on his personal device.
(You might be noticing it's all he's. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't).
He ate a sim card.
He brought a balaclava to pentesting training (it was pretty meme).
He printed out his source code as a manual read-only method.
He made a rule on his academic email to block incoming mail from the academic body (to be fair this is a good spam policy).
He withdraws money from a different cashpoint everytime to avoid patterns in his behaviour (the irony).
He reported someone for hacking the centre's network when they built their own website for practice using XAMMP.
I'm going to stop there. I could tell you so many more stories about these guys, some about them being paranoid and some about the stupid antics Cyber Security and Information Assurance students get up to. Well done for making it this far. Hope you enjoyed it.26
Earlier I signed up on this forum called NulledBB. Basically some hacker skiddie forum that had a dump of an archive I wanted, unfortunately behind a paywall which I didn't want to bother with.
On signup I noticed that I couldn't use my domain as an email address, as I usually do (the domain is a catch-all which means that mail addresses can be made up for each service I sign up to on the fly, super useful). They did expose the regex that they accepted email as however, which included something along the lines of "@live.*".
So I figured, why not register a subdomain live.nixmagic.com real quick and put that into the mail servers? Didn't take too long and that's what I eventually went with, and registered as email@example.com (which I have no trouble putting on a public forum as you'll see in a minute).
Still didn't manage to get that archive I wanted but I figured, fuck it. It's a throwaway account anyway. But eventually that email address started to receive spam. Stupid motherfucker of a forum operator with his Kali skidmachine probably leaked it.
Usually I just blacklist the email address in SpamAssassin by adding an additional spam score of 100 to email sent to such addresses. But in that case it didn't even sit on the main domain, thanks to that stupid regex block from earlier... 😏
*Logs into my domain admin panel*
*Le rm on the live.nixmagic.com record*
Null routed entirely.. nulled, if you will! 🙃3
Why are clients so ignorant and stupid?!
Send them the software with specific instructions WHERE to install it. Location is important as it is a plugin for AutoCAD.
First mail with complains about the plugin doesn't work. Find out (in the mail they sent internal) that they installed the plugin somewhere else than I instructed them.
Sent an email back with (again) an explanation why it doesn't work and where to install the plugin.
Email from client: So I put the plugin here [incomplete and invalid location] and create the last folder myself...
FOR FUCK SAKE SRUPID ASS IGNORANT DOWN SYNDROM (sorry folks) MOFO CLIENT!!!!
I SENT YOU UP TO 3 TIMES WHERE TO PUT THE GODDAMNED PLUGIN!7
warning: huge ass rant, language.
sooo, i’ve been away from too long from here but in my defence i had nothing to rant about.... LOL YOU WISH.
this yeah and part of the last one were a huge dumpster fire. i had terrible and stupid clients, but this time, oooh my. i had the kind of client that puts you in the state of taking drugs to talk with him.
so, basically my job is to use IT to run businesses and part of it is going paperless and bringing intelligence to their DMS. I have 5 years experience on the field, not a senior, but let’s say i do know my way around the job. this involves a lot of windows services, scripts (in vbscript..), powershell tasks, i basically lick Microsoft boots for a living :D
So, huge part of the job is taking “physical” (on paper) processes, taking them to digital, then making them better, once they are used to the system. (nothing secret I work with M-Files)
But this guy. Dude. this is the kind of person that needs to look good towards his boss. it’s the guy that says his words are “cartesian”, with a “precise meaning”. My, Fucking, Ass.
When it comes to structure (folders, flows, trees, whatever) it’s important to think about design, you want to touch it the least at the end. i have to modify workflows and objects countless times. and yes, i had with him a long and extensive design phase. the dude basically says “yes” without reading what’s been done, and then changes mind and asks “who the fuck approved this shit”. the problem comes when you write services to process huge amounts of data to be saved idk, on the FS, and decide that it was wrong, and that it needs to be changed and retroactively. then change it back. then change the process. then make it bigger, so big your staff gets confused as fuck. then you want to impose stuff to your suppliers, which they don’t give a fuck about your requests.
then. THEN. then you come to me, say it’s my fault you might lose your job because release must be pushed further because you didn’t want to lose your fucking pride by admitting that you were wrong about something it’s my fucking expertise, something your 15 years experience accountant also told you, as well as half of your accounting department (the way VAT is treated basically). get fucking fired already. for real. and guess who had to implement something wrong on purpose knowing It would be a fucking nightmare to properly reverse?
without mentioning that some stuff makes so 0 fucking sense, jesus, get wrecked by a horny duck dude. who the fuck needs to store e-mails in public folder for each fucking email in the company? take a cryo backup solution. no, each email that comes into each mailbox needs to be assigned to a working site. without exception. why would an email to order pizzas for the dinner be assigned to a working site?
also, thanks a lot for making me writing a huge service the other way around because you didn’t read my emails. thank you. because how the fuck am i supposed to know that i need X data from Y and not Y from X? (over, over simplifying here). the number of hours spent there , uuugh.
but hey, don’t worry, I hopefully got to spend the morning of my birthday, which was also a day off, helping you out because your staff is basically overwhelmed.
god, they aren’t the brightest stars in the sky, but I can just understand them. poor souls.
but hey besides all this. it would’ve been nice acknowledging the many mistakes done on your side my dear client. no, while being 100% e-mail backed, somehow the error is in our side. (my boss knows it isn’t don’t worry he covers me).
like, a couple of days ago he asked me to solve a huge bug on an invoice validation workflow that must’ve been a bug because was designed in a shitty way. it wasn’t a bug, it was his “cartesian” specification. which i told him btw wasn’t that clever, but never mind.
hopefully client will have a 3 weeks leave. i will enjoy every day of work without him. every hour.
i will do excel macros for what I care.
once already my boss stepped in to calm down the dude, shit was going south and I was going to basically fire myself because if a phone call I finally didn’t do. i was ready to insult the shit out of his face with his boss. god thank my boss for that.
sorry for the slightly long rant
have a good day y’all2
I've promised to do the Mozilla rant about the whole meritocracy thing a few days ago.. well, this is that. Along with some other stuff along the way. Haven't ranted for a couple of days man, shit happened! But losing 6 days that could've been spent on finishing my power supply project.. to a stupid cold, it got a little bit on my nerves, so that's what I've been working on for the time being. Hopefully I'll be able to finish it up in a couple of days.
1. COCKtail party thingy
Turns out that there's this conference in Brussels in a couple of days about the whole Article 13 copyright stuff. I've been letting a mail to the MEP's about it mature on my systems for a while now.. well, maturing or procrastinating, you be the judge 😛
Now I'm glad that I waited with that though. It's mostly a developer-centric insight into how the directive would be a horrible idea.. think AI, issues with context recognition, Tom Scott's video on Penistone and Scunthorpe etc etc. But maybe I can include some stuff from the event afterwards.
Also, if you're coming to the conference too, do let me know! Little devRant meet while we're at it, it'd be fucking great! I'll try to remember to bring my Christmas ducks, they've got these cute little Santa hats 😋
(P.S.: about the whole COCKtail, I saw the email while drunk and during registration I had to choose an email address.. I figured, feminazis are doing such a great job at going out of their way to find offense in everything, I figured that I'd make their job a little bit easier by sending a COCK bomb in my registration mail address, in the hopes that it finds its way to one of them.. evil, I know XD)
2. The whole feminazi stuff at Mozilla
So Mozilla hates meritocracy now? I've been wanting to rant about the big bad meritocracy for a while now. Thank you Mozilla for giving me an incentive to actually do it!
Meritocracy, feminazis think it's bad because it's about power relationships and discrimination, right? But what if I told you that that is exactly what makes great software great. Good code, good merit, is what's welcomed in software development.. or at least it should be. Because it's a job of fucking knowledge, experience, and quality! Also, meritocracy is a great thing because nobody cares if you're a professional developer in a suit, getting paid to work on a piece of OSS, or a homegamer neonazi who's coding shit in their underwear while wanking to child porn.. nobody fucking cares. If your code, your merit, is good, contribute ahead! Super inclusive, yet apparently bad because bad code is excluded to ensure the health of the project.
So what is the alternative to the big bad meritocracy? Inclusion (or as it's looked like in practice, more like exclusion) based on gender/sex, political orientation, things like that. But not actual fucking merit, the ability to write good code. How the fuck is politics and gender going to be any good at all to an inherently meritocratic craft?! Oh but yeah, it's great for inclusion. It's like females in tech. Artificial growth is just a matter of growth numbers and the only folks who like it are fucking HR and wanketeering cunts, and feminazis. Merit, that's what matters!! And have you ever considered that females are generally not interested in technology? Or for that matter, where's our inclusion movement for men in healthcare?! Gender equality my ass.
That's just my two cents on it of course. Meritocracy shouldn't be abandoned in tech. And even if it's just a matter of calling it something else. How the fuck is it a good idea to not call a pot a fucking pot just because someone might take offense at it?! It's meritocracy, call it fucking meritocracy!!! And while we're at it, call a master a fucking master and a slave a fucking slave!15
The cleaning lady saga continues...
Had an appointment with their manager, stuff gets discussed and coordinated at a 3x slower pace than if I'd done it myself (as usual because fuck efficiency when there's muggles involved -_-), yada yada.
*mail addresses for contact start getting discussed*
Incompetent fuck of a manager: And you $realName, your email address is $firstname.lastname@example.org, then changed to $email@example.com? Mind explaining this?
Me: Oh yeah that's just because I give out different email addresses to each contact person when it involves public forms or registrations, helps with spam prevention and putting the company name of the correspondent in there helps with easy recognition when some company's database leaks and I start getting a lot of spam on that mailbox.
IFOM: Really.. we actually weren't sure whether we should reply to something with our company name in it.. you know, not sure whether it's legit etc. Why would anyone want to use one of our email addresses as theirs?
… Let that sink in for a moment. They think that $firstname.lastname@example.org is theirs? Just because it's their domain (minus TLD) in front of MY FUCKING DOMAIN? How about you start by learning how email addresses work first, because clearly you have no fucking clue about it. Are you the kind of brainless fucks that get lured in by http://totallylegitbank.com.freehost.com/... scams? Fucking stupid piece of fucking shit.
Oh, and when you're using MS Exchange, of course you can't know that when you're having your own domain, you actually also own every fucking mailbox on it, because Microshaft doesn't allow you to have more than n amount of mailboxes, unless you gobble up money for them. But you know what, in my case it's a fucking catch-all domain running Linux on its servers, so yeah I can use whatever the fuck I want in front of it, including your stupid fucking cleaning company.
IFOM: And then there's your current designated email address. $email@example.com..
Oh you're going to criticise that as well?! Yeah condor is my fucking nickname all over the internet, and my username on all my systems. That's why I use it. But you know what else is an email address that you might come across, because people are shallow idiots like that? ILoveBigTits69@gmail.com or something like that. You know what, how about I address you next time from ILoveBigTits69_OhAndYoursAreAWashboard@nixmagic.com, because you know what? I CAN FUCKING DO THAT. But you know, I at least am halfway fucking professional about my business-related stuff, so I won't because I really don't want to be associated with such an email address. So don't you fucking dare to criticize me for using my fucking nickname instead of my real name.
Long story short, people are fucking idiots.6
!rant && advice
I am an Android Developer, but about to start my final year. I got a mail from a company telling me saying...
"... and we are looking for problem solvers like you.
We Invite your CV and look forward to hearing back from you."
Stupid it may sound, but how do I reply to them? Do I also send a cover letter? If yes, what do I write? What do I mention in the email?
My IT-teacher has a website. Aside from it looking like from 1980 (which is ok), he has a "security js Mail decryption":
You can just run this link (open email app and read it) or use the same function and same href in the browser console and read it. It sounds so stupid.
(Yet I figured out he probably doesn't want bots to spam his mail, so maybe I am stupid)1
I'll try to pay back some smaller credit by one large credit...
Hence I need to contact the banks and get one (!) fucking frigging stupid piece of paper which lists the account number and the amount of money I need to pay back.
Sounds simple ...
One bank just answered my email request by sending me that piece of paper. Except they didn't have any validation of my identity.
Yes. They answered the request of 'I want to pay back the credit in full, can u send me the necessary documents?' (more formal of course) with confidential data without any more credibility than my email address.
Another bank requests a telephone call for identity validation and sending back a signed form via postal service...
Another bank just needs a PDF sent via mail with an electric signature (yeah. They were aware of what that means - I was shocked and confused) or a "qualified signature matching previous documents" (translated from German).
The last one offers a WhatsApp number - send a GIF / JPG or video and we answer directly.
I need to reach a higher state than drunk.
It's not funny to know how confidential data gets mistreated by companies who should have the highest security.4
Imagine a web way ahead of our time where its size goes beyond our imagination...
This is my first rant, and I'll cut to the chase! I don't like how web currently stands. Here's what makes me angry the most altough I know there's a myriad of solutions or workarounds:
- A gazillion credentials/accounts/services in your lifetime.
- Everyone tries to reinvent the wheel.
- There's no single source of truth.
- Why the fuck there's so much design in a vision that started as a network of documents? Why is it that we need to spend time and energy to absorb the page design before we can read what we are after?
- What's up with the JS front end frameworks?! MB's of code I need to download on every page I visit and the worse is the evaluation/parsing of it. Talk about acessibility and the energy bills. I don't freaking need a SPA just give a 20-50ms page load and I'm good to go!
- I understand that there's a whole market based on it but do we really need all that developer tools and services?
- Where's our privacy by the way? Why the fuck do I need ads? Can't I have a clue about what I wan't to buy?
Sticking with this points for now... Got plenty more to discuss though.
What I would like to see:
A unique account where i can subscribe services/forums/whatever. No credentials. Credentials should be on your hardware or OS. Desktop Browser and mobile versions sync everything seemlesly. Something like OpenID.
Each person has his account and a profile associated where I share only what I want with whom I want when I want to.
Sharing stuff individually with someone is easy and secure.
There's no more email system like we know. Email should be just email like it started to be. Why the hell are we allowing companies to send us so much freaking "look at me now, we are awesome", "hey hey buy from me".. Here's an idea, only humans should send emails. Any new email address that sends you an email automatically requests your "permission" to communicate with you. Like a friend request.
Oh by the way did I tell you that static mail is too old for us? What we need is dynamic email. Editing documents on the fly, together, realtime, on the freaking email. Better than mail, slack and google docs combined.
In order for that to work reasonably well, the individual "letter" communication would have to be revamped in a new modern approach.
What about the single source of truth I talked about? Well heres what we should do. Wikipedia (community) and Larry Page (concept) gave us tremendous help. We just need to do better now.
Take the spirit of wikipedia and the discoverability that a good search engine provides us and amp that to a bigger scale. A global encyclopedia about everything known to mankind. Content could be curated from us all just like a true a network.
In this new web, new browser or whatever needed to make this happen I could save whatever I want, notes, files, pictures... and have it as I left it from device to device.
Oh please make web simple again, not easy just simple and bigger.
I'm not old by the way and I don't see a problem with being older btw.
Those are just my stupid rants and ideas. They are worth nothing. What I know for sure is that I'll do something about or fail trying to.12
They want what?! Call me away from vacation even though I'm not employed there anymore because they are to STUPID to read a FUCKING EMAIL?!
I sent the mail to THREE PEOPLE with the path to the docs and friggin TRIPLE CHECKED THE PATH AND FILES...
"Yeah could you please be there tomorrow morning?"2
That time when I requested someone from a different department to include the ID row in their database excerpt. Me, having the lowest possible status in the company, did not know the who I wrote to was the boss over at the other department. So I ask straight forward: "Could you please include the ID row?"
Then a damn long email comes back stating that there was absolutely no time for stupid shit as mine. There existed no ID row and I would only waste his time. All further requests should be route via my boss.
So, fuck, he's pissed. So what he deserve? A shit load of honey right into his mouth, like he wants to.
That company had a huge ass hierarchy in job positions and I was at the bottom. So I write my oh-im-so-sorry-mail.
~I never knew what position he had and that I would of course fuck off with my stupid request.~
What was his response?
Oh, yeah, thanks. Have a look into the attachment, is that the ID row you requested?
Yeah, as one can guess, it was.
Stupid honeyfucker. Of course an ID row exists, duh.
when you have to validate an email address to fit the requirements of some stupid mail software
I'm not even sorry.7
Did you ever had to integrate a fucking "API" that is done via mail bodies?
Fuck this shit! Who need responses about success or failure?! Guess this will take a long time to test this fucking piece of garbage... We don't get a test system, we need to test this with the production system of the other company. I hope their retarded application crashes when receiving malicious mails.
Not speaking about security, I bet everyone can send a mail to their stupid mail address and modify their data 🙈
And inside of this crap mail you also have to send the name, street and email of their company. Why do you fucking need this information?!1
Top 10 figure company in a rich vertical in the EU market built their shit on top of a small startup's stack some 15 years ago and they still contract shit to said company whom over time have lost some of their domain names, which we promptly snatched off auctions or wherever just like we do with every single domain name mildly related to our vertical.
Now at this top notch awesome company there be some stupid bitches who apparently have no clue how to update their fucking contact list and keep sending shit to outdated email addresses.
So me gets logins to user databases, to PM apps, invoices, accounts, basically loads of crap which could rake in some 7 figures if I lacked enough spine to actually do something with said info.
So naturally I always send an e-mail back informing them of the mistake yet never got a thank you back for saving their buttholes from a scandal, public shaming and some fucking huge GDPR fines not to mention some 7-8 figures in lost business over such a information leak if it went public. I got no missed calls, no emails, I even checked my spam folder, nothing but the ol' indian spam there.
I don't understand why my cock isn't sucked 3 times a day over this shit. Like, they should have an entire HR department working 24/7 at hiring hot stupid bitches just to suck on my zucchini (initially typed eggplant but don't wanna get turned into hamburgers over this race nonsense spamming the news lately).
You're welcome ass boogers!1
Okay, so have just been having a play with Mailgun's webhook functionality (a client finally has a decent use for these).
I setup a test endpoint that sends a mail via Mailgun and then handles the POST data too. It emails myself the raw POST request response from Mailgun when I open the email. Mailgun fire an event their end when they detect the message has been opened.
All is good apart from Mailgun are posting multiple requests for each event, which is annoying.
After an hour messing around and getting annoyed I have a complete face palm moment.
In my test script Mailgun is called is send my notification email! So I'm creating multiple events for the same test message.
i.e. send original message, receive post back from Mailgun to my endpoint, my script then emails me the result using Mailgun. The latter itself generates its own events again.
Sooooo stupid of me to not notice something so obvious :(1
That lovely moment, when I have to spend an hour on mail delivery issue, only to find out the message was flagged as spam due to a faulty dns blacklist.
Though the way it got flagged is idiotic and funny at the same time, too.
The blacklist domain got parked, dunno why, and of course, all of the dns queries thus got redirected to a different dns server that just returned the A records of the dns park owners.
Guess what that causes when you use that blacklist? Every single email gets flagged, including that one of ours that I had to debug.
Fml, an hour of overtime for a stupid malfunctioning blacklist...