Client : pls put the disclaimer that the site uses cookies.
Me: but we don't use cookies this is a static page
Client: Still, the pop up makes the site look more professional, kindly add the feature asap
Me: :/

I have decided to learn how to fix the printer. Because it seems like it is the number one skill in demand..

You devranters feed your cats too much

Me learning JavaScript
Step 1 console.log("hello world")
Step 2 change the devrant avatar t shirt to js

Long time no see Friend:- "hey dude what do you do for a living"

Me:- "I suffer in silence"

Ltnsf:- " but what exactly do you do"

Me:-"I stare at a rectangular space hoping to find enlightenment"

Free advice take it or leave it
A few days ago I completed my one year work anniversary(is that how it's said) at my first job. And this rant is basically stuff I learnt and stuff I wish someone had told me when I was starting out. Here goes:-

When you are starting out your first job you would be a fresh out of college and people around you in college are your friends where as people around you at work are colleagues. Your friends can like you, but you have to earn the respect of colleagues.

If you sit yo ass too long u will become fat(started going to the gym again).

Don't bother your seniors too much. they have their own shit to deal with.

Don't bring your personal shit to office I don't want to hear how cute your dog looked while it took a dump on your carpet.

Avoid the person who gossips.
It's a two way street.

Whatever you find amazing your boss may not you know coz you are a geek and your boss isn't.

Don't talk to people when they are coding.Yeah just don't.

Avoid "below the belt" humor you may look funny but you loose respect in the long run.

Keep upgrading yourself don't stop learning.

Admit stuff you don't know don't Bullshit.

To sum it up it's a game of respect, respect of knowledge,respect of skill and most of all respect of attitude.

Okay okay here's another one

Client:pls put a pop up that asks the users weather they are sure about leaving the page.
Me: I think that would be redundant
Since he clicked the close button to close the page.
Client: what if he is unsure of leaving the page now he will stay.
Me: :/
Client:And another one when his login fails.
Me: pop ups can be disabled it's not good to use them especially for login screen.
Client (now slightly annoyed): Well,put a pop up warning them not to, isn't it obvious.God!!! I thought you were the smart one.
Me:;/

I guess my stalker finally decided to show herself.
Ddg *how to handle fame*

I prefer my coffee dark themed

We had a meeting whose agenda was to plan another meeting.

Coding has turned me into a nocturnal weirdo who talks to rubber ducks more than human beings.

D3aR Pa55w0rd, i'm 1n5ecur3 t00

I used ! important in my CSS ... I have sinned

>be me
>Get hit by a wave of depression
>Question the reason for your existence
>Open laptop start coding as a distraction
>Discover/invent/learn something new
Hey that's nice!!! (wait for the next wave of depression)

I'm tired all the time

Here's what I saw today
To add space between two rows of images.

<div>
//A row of images
</div>

<h1 style="color:white">a</h1>
<div>
//A row of images
</div>

Just found this comment on the play store

To convert an int number to a string I do this:-

String s=10+"";

This is a conversation my friend and I had.

Me: let me just delete this file
*rm -rf filename*

Frnd: what does the rf do?

Me: Don't know man I just do it coz the memes tell me to.

The best way to learn something is to teach someone...
If you learn a framework or a language or a tool u make sure u teach it to someone it helps u understand it better and someone else is also smarter

Eminem helps convert my rage into code

Client(over the phone):- I want an Android app where there job seekers and recruiters.

Me:- sounds reasonable enough, ok

Client:-i want job seekers to apply for the job and recruiters to post the job.

Me(gets a bad feeling);- doable ok.

Client:- and I want an admin user who can see all the users and do everything.

Me(yup there it is):- what do you mean by everything?

Client :- you know everything, talk to recruiters talk to see everyone using the app, you know everything.

Me :- no I don't know this "everything" that you speak of, tell me more, what screens (activity) should that have and stuff.

Client (getting irritated):- everything the admin user usually does.

Me(yare yare daze):- i will show number of users in a graph.

I have a feeling this is not over yet

On today's episode of "my struggle with Android studio"
THIS HAPPENS

Walking in circles yeah I walk in circles when thinking

This delete Facebook thing it, we devs have been telling people that Facebook can steal data.
now its our turn to tell I told u so...

//begin midnight rant

THATS IT, I AM PISSED OFF NOW ABOUT THIS SNAPCHAT SHIT!!!

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK !!!

I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK WHEN SNAP CHAT WAS INVENTED

I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK WHEN WATSAPP COPIED ITS FEATURE(yeah I haven't seen your pathetic story)

AND I ALSO DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT THE SHIT ITS GOTTEN INTO NOW.

as a guy who is allergic to people I stay the fuck away from such apps.

but for God's sake get real u shit heads... Uninstalling an app is not an achievement worth bragging about( there is a drag and drop interface for it in ur Android phone)

Here is a guy who started his own company when he graduated from college and is providing employment to 100s of ppl and ur going to put that at risk just because your fragile ego was hurt because of "poor country " comment fuck u do your research that comment was made in 2015 when a monthly 1gb 3g internet would burn a hole in your pocket

Go screw yourselves u brain dead pieces of shit if u r so worked up about being called a poor country then start a company and provide jobs for the people who are struggling(why would you when uninstalling an app is so much easier).

Any one with 300 mg of common sense would have realize that the video would have difficulty in buffering in your slow ass 2g internet pack in your phone in 2015 when Jio sim was not yet introduced.

People like you are the reason I wish the super villains would win at the end of sifi movies.

I hope God(if there is one and if ever he decides to give a fuck) would give the guys who built this app the strength to get through this shit storm

PEACE OUT

//End of mid night rant

After the latest Android one update I found this. Not sure if it's a joke .

I'm building a device that will readout books to blind people

Java script is like an angry girlfriend who won't tell you what is wrong.
This shit happened today.

Me: somearray.includes[stuff];
JS: I'm alright everything is fine.
Me: no it's not, Clearly the feature is not working.
JS:* silence*
Me: Fine be that way.. * spends lot of time debugging finally finds the issue*...oh shit.
Me: somearray.includes(stuff);
JS: I SAID NO TRAILING SPACE IN END OF THE LINE YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT NO TRAILING FUCKING SPACES AAAAHHHH!!!

It's official...my brain stops working @ 2:26 AM

Today's Google doodle is amaze ballz

Dear Android studio,
When u require an update please tell me u require an update.Do not pretend u can't open jdk folder or shit like that ...you could find jdk yesterday u can now
Sincerely
Me
(Frustrated insomniac)

I first got into software when found an broken printer abandoned in my front porch and u fixed it. That was when I realised that I would be an IT guy
.
.
.
.
.
.just kidding

My biggest coding distraction are my imaginary friends

Don't use angular js for something that u can do with jQuery

MySQL almost gave me a fright 😂😂😂

Opens pycharm
import time;
print(time.
*hits Ctrl+space*
>Auto complete not working
>Searches SO no answer
>Realized file saved as time.py
> Proceeds to contemplate career choice

Copy paste from the internet, usually stack overflow without knowing what the fuck the lines do.
I saw this girl who was tasked with building a spring mvc application and she literally googled(yeah googled) "spring mvc web app" and copied from the first tutorial site and pasted it.
When errors showed up she copied everything from the second link and pasted it ... Wait for it... Without deleting the old copy but commenting it out so each file had 100 lines of code and 100 lines of comment

!rant
@dfox More cartoons pls

Me:- OMG Java 9 is coming in 144 days;
Normal ppl:- ...So what😑😑
Me:- Java 9 is awesome we can type codes in cmd;
Normal Ppl:- I have net beans;
Me (thinking):- FROM WHAT HELL DID SUCH SOUL-LESS MONSTERS COME FROM 😨😨😨😨😱😱😱

FFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKK

AMAZING MIDNIGHT BREAKTHROUGH!!!
In Android studio if u disable the enable frame check box of the avd and select the graphics option to hardware the avd works a bit faster...even in a system with 4gb ram 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

*wild LinkedIn notification appears*

>Opens LinkedIn
>Sees a video of dogs being dogs
>Reads caption something along the lines of "team work and dedication helps the universe to fight global warming and terrorism "
>*Eye rolls*

I'm not smart, I know how to use things built by smart people.

How do working professionals find time to learn new tech? Work all weekdays... Shit tired on weekends this happens for few months and suddenly kids are b building ai and stuff and u just feel dumb.. how do you guys do it? How do you stay on top of the game?

The person who I was closest to in the workplace is leaving and everyone else is a "professional employee" and they make "work safe jokes" that deserves "polite laughter" now everyone looses their shit if I let out the f word. I guess I will have my next free conversation with the goldfish.

A rubber duck plugin for all ide that reminds the programer to drink water ( I usually forget to drink water while coding) and more than a few errors it should pop up automatically

Now I have to wear a stupid shirt, go to my stupid office and tolerate stupid people.

*Ciiiirrrrcle of lifeeeeeee

Life is about wrangling, biologists wrangle snakes, porn stars wrangle cocks, I wrangle giant JSON objects.

I wish I was one of those brain dead sheep that study hard, fall in love, take selfies, get a job , go clubbing, get married, attend cocktail parties and make more brain dead sheep....

Thanks for the stickers guys and for my first international mail

Ok, just built my first hello wold using react and after installing node babel react etc... The resulting folder is 51.7mb big. Makes me wonder what am I doing with my life why should I do this. what's the fucking point of it all.
Don't get me wrong I like react and I think it's really cool, but what is all this going to achieve at the end "build a website to sell rubber poop" like wtf... some company wants to sell shit and some monkey with an MBA is going to set the deadline and add Features. No one understands the shit we go through no one cares and we just build websites and Android apps... maybe there is no point here maybe there is nothing.
I remember when coding was fun now it's just building highly responsive web/Mobile based IT solutions to clients who wouldn't know a good website if it fucked them in the ass

Sex

It's almost midnight here and I just realized something. I just realized that none of my college friends have contacted me in almost a year now... Like none of them. They hang out every weekend near the college I cannot coz im working and it has never occurred to them that "hey there's this guy that we we were together for four years with , I wonder what he's doing how's he holding up" and I wasn't even an asshole or a douchebag or something I guess I just vaporizer from their memories like a volatile liquid.

I also feel like my boss gives me nearly impossible tasks so that I fail like "design these two complete web applications in three months while you do your actual job of teaching people java for 8 hrs a day"
And now here I am at midnight sitting curled up in the corner of my bed like a paranoid chipmunk that drank a pot full of dark coffee, trying to talk to this random bunch of people from random places in the world who are doing random shit right now. And the worst part is I chose this ... I wanted this I wanted to make a difference. I didn't want to be just a cog in a machine.

If I die right now how many people would cry? I ask myself that a lot it's never more than ten. This is probably creeping u out right now so I'll probably end this.
Rest assured six hrs from now I will put my mask back on. a mask of a happy, mildly funny, averagely successfully geek, until my next date with sadness

When u see Bullshit u r supposed to call it Bullshit not organically digested grass.
Thank you for your time

Neglecting JavaScript

Underestimating the stupidity of clients. Had to build a web app again

Normal person:what do you in front of laptop all day?
Me: I try to cushion the fatal blows of reality

I tried and I'm giving up. I have spent nearly two years of my life trying to teach kids to code but it feels like standing in quicksand I don't get to learn new stuff I feel myself turning into the kind of teachers ppl make fun of here. I used to pride myself in being the fun teacher that kids look up to. Guess I'll quit while I'm ahead

Every new front end framework these days, i remember the time when I used bootstrap through cdn link... Yup those were the good old days

A generic rant about people, the world and other stuff

Some people have interesting, cool or exciting lives and I know u are fascinated by them... U may even fall in love . but do remember that u r an insignificant troll who is good at doing one complicated job and whose significance cannot be comprehended, appreciated or understood by the said fascinating people. So go back to your cave do the shit u usually do coz u have a deadline to meet.
-the voice inside my head

Company Emails that tell you
who they are
what believe in.
How they were the market leaders since the stone age.
what their values are
what their holistic approach to life is. How they are diversifying inclusiveness to include diversity.
And how all of this bull shit ties into you being a ideal employee of the organisation
Just to get you to fill a damn form.

Makes me wish the next attempt at human extinction succeeds.

My first experience with computers was when I was in school when i was in third grade we had a computer lab and we had to take our shoes off to "prevent virus" that's what we were told anyway...
There were 10 computers and 50 of us so the one who could run to the lab first would get the computer where we learnt something called as logo and while the teacher wasn't looking we would play a game called Dave. man this shit takes me back

Is angular 1x still a thing? I feel like it's a really good front end framework but it's it used widely today?

Block chains, i think distributed databases is going to go big.

You know what I had to deal with
A bunch of these shit
try{
//Shitty cluster fuck excuse for java
//code
}catch(Exception e){

}

I wonder y slack hates upper case alphabets wanted to give my username in camelCase

Where I work, "let us do it!!!" Means I gotta do it. 😥😥😥

Eclipse Mars and Firefox

This book probably has the most accurate prediction of our future and it was written in 1953

QA: * reopens the bug I fixed *
Me: hi, whats up I thought I fixed that?
QA: *proceeds to explain totally different issue from totally different module* ... andd April fool.

The moment when your company customer is a major mobile provider and you reply to their support question: "Device you mentioned was not included in the bundle you got, but we can include it for 4.99/m + vat if you're on contract."

;D for all the times they said it to me...

TAP ONCE WITH TWO FINGERS FOR A RIGHT CLICK!!! ONCE WITH TWO FINGERS !!! NOOO NOT THE TOUCH PAD RIGHT CLICK DON'T TOUCH THAT!!!

NO NO NO DON'T DO THAT...
DON'T SCROLL BY HOLDING THE LEFT BUTTON AND DRAGGING...

TWO FINGERS SLIDE TO SCROLL

BARBARIANS ALL OF U

Are we the matrix for the people inside Tron 😵😵😵

Some days I feel like shit, other days I feel shittier.

Not write unit tests or documentation

Binge watching anime, reading psychology books

Oooh look at me !!! I look like my penguin!! Heeeyy oooh. Well thats that.

My idea of an April fool's day joke was an afternoon Nap

Apparently you cannot filter based on two parameters in firebase so something similar to "select * from table where email='something' and password ='something' " doesn't work .

So a shitty hack is to create a string to concatenate email and password and store it as a field and validate based on that field.

So basically there is a field in database which is

Sha256("emailid"+_+sha256("password"))

Hey guys do you know any virtual credit/debit card service.
Thanks in advance

Does anyone have a good tutorial on how to get Oracle database working on a Linux distro preferably fedora? Any help is appreciated

Why can't I not do anything on weekends? Why should I have a plan on weekends? Its all a scam