Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
Search - "super funny"
-
My lil girl has a habit of bringing me her rubber ducks whenever she sees me sitting down and just chilling. But this far she has (funny enough) done it twice whilst I am coding.
This time she got me super duck!!!
:) i love my lil girl13 -
Hello everyone, this is my first time here so hi! I want to tell you all a story about my current situation.
At 18 while in the military I was able to get my first computer, it was a small hp pavilion laptop with windows 7. The system would crash constantly, even though I would only use it for googling stuff and using fb to talk to people. 5 months after I got it and continuously hated it decided to find out why and who could I blame (other than myself) for the system making me do the ctrl alt del dance all the time....
Found out that there are people called computer programmers that made software. Decided to give it a go since I had some free time most days. Started out with c++ because it was being recommended in some websites. Had many "oh deeeeer lord" moments. After not getting much traction I decided to move to Java which seemed like an easier step than C++. Had fun, but after some verbosity I decided to move into more dynamic lands. Tried JS and since at the time there was no Node and I was not very into the idea of building websites I decided to move into Python, Ruby, PHP and Perl and had a really great time using and learning all of them. I decided to get good in theoretical aspects of computer programming and since I had a knack for math I decided to get started with basic computer science concepts.
I absolutely frigging loved it. And not only that, but learning new things became an obsession, the kind that would make me go to bed at 02:40 am just to wake up at 04:00 or 06:00 because the military is like that. I really wanted to absorb as much as I could since I wanted to go to college for it and wanted to be prepared since I did not wanted to be a complete newb. Took Harvard CS50, Standford Programming 101 with Java, Rice's Python course and MIT's Python programming class. I had so much fun I don't regret it one bit.
By the time I got to college I had already made the jump to Linux and was an adept Arch user, Its not that it was superior or anything, but it really forced me to learn about Linux and working around a terminal and the internals of the system to get what I want. Now a days I settle for Fedora or Debian based systems since they are easier and time is money.
Uni was a breeze, math was fun and the programming classes seemed like glorified "Hello World" courses. I had fun, but not that much fun, most of my time was spent getting better at actual coding. I am no genius, nor my grades were super amazing(I did graduate with honors though) but I had fun, which never really happened in school before that.
While in school I took my first programming gig! It was in ASP.NET MVC, we were using C#, I got the job through a customer that I met at work, I was working in retail during the time and absolutely hated it. I remember being so excited with the gig, I got to meet other developers! Where I am from there aren't that many and most of them are very specialized, so they only get concerned with certain aspects of coding (e.g VBA developers.....) and that is until I met the lead dev. He was by far one of the biggest assholes I had ever met in my life. Absolutely nothing that I would do or say made hem not be a dick. My code was steady, but I would find bugs of incomplete stuff that he would do, whenever I would fix it he would belittle me and constantly remind me of my position as a "junior dev" in the company saying things as "if you have an issue with my code or standards tell me, but do not touch the code" which was funny considering that I would not be able to advance without those fixes. I quit not even 3 months latter because I could not stand the dick, neither 2 of the other developers since the immediately resigned after they got their own courage.
A year latter I was able to find myself another gig. I was hesitant for a moment since it was another remote position in which I had already had a crappy experience. Boy this one was bad. To be fair, this was on me since I had to get good with Lumen after only having some exposure to Laravel. Which I did mentioned repeatedly even though he did offer to train me in order to help him. Same thing, after a couple of weeks of being told how much I did not know I decided to get out.
That is 2 strikes.
So I waited a little while and took a position inside another company that was using vanilla PHP to build their services. Their system was solid though, the lead engineer remains a friend and I did learn a lot from him. I got contracted because they were looking for a Java developer. The salary was good. But when I got there they mentioned that they wanted a developer in Java...to build Android. At the time I was using Java with Spring so I though "well how hard can this be! I already use Android so the love for the system is there, lets do this!" And it was an intense, fun and really amazing experience.
-- To be continued.10 -
This is not facebook, but somehow yhis site has attracted who are virtually, mentally incapable of differentiating between their script kiddy hacker facebook group and anything that can be called a social media platform.
Sorting by recent and daring to toggle on jokes/memes is a pure shitshow of freshly created accounts who post "memes" of the same purity as their mother. And to finish it off they add that super relatable comment "hahah", "funny" and a couple of emojis. Totally makes me wonder if I end up being called comedy god for posting "peepee poopoo" on the site they "shared" it from.
Yes, shared and not stolen for the sake of that little dopamine rush when they see that 4 other people who try to escape their shitty form of reality thought you deserve to be proud for those couple of finger movements you used to put this on devrant and not to jack off.
Not even that spares you from their awful humor, because thanks to their disability to red, they think they can just smash that big red button and post their garbage in the wrong category, yet somehow they have the obligation to add an absurd amount of tags telling you that they've tried to post a joke and I honestly feel sorry for the database table who has to store so variations of "jokes/meme" for this shit.
Thr quality of these memes degrades with each time I open devrant, just like my patience for these shitposters.
I've seen a couple of people who cancled their monthly subscription for devrant, to show their discontent with these user and my urge to do the same has gotten stronger recently.
DevRant as it is right now is on it best way to stray away further from what it meant to be every day12 -
!rant
Most programming shirts/hoodies really suck. They fall into two categories:
1. Super lame pun quotes in an ugly font.
2. Memes transfer-printed onto cheap fabric
I'm not against puns, or quotes. I quite like the design from @AlexDeLarge
https://devrant.io/rants/830390/, and I've been looking for a nice shirt with Dijkstra's "simplicity is a prerequisite for reliability" on it.
But many do not put any thought into beautiful design, and shit like "No place like 127.0.0.1", "404 girlfriend not found" or "There are 10 kinds of people" really stopped being funny a decade ago.
Good design, colors & quality are so fucking important.
What are your favorite dev-related clothes?16 -
!dev but actual long rant - about the students in my grade.
TL;DR: 1 asshole in 10 people can ruin everything. Mobbing sucks. I dislike parties.
There's the word "Jahrgang" in Germany which means the people in the same school year as you. I'll refer to it as "my (collective) classmates" although we don't have classes anymore, rather courses and I also mean those I do not have courses with.
With that out of the way, let the rant begin.
It's often the case that people with high logical and intellectual skills (no being arrogant, other people categorize me like that) have a lack of social skills - or empathy.
I'm a kind of an outsider in a way that since 10th grade I stopped trying to attach myself to certain groups since I do not fit in there. I'm fine with that now. Nowadays I can at least socialize with other nerds.
Here's why I dislike the collective of my classmates. This year is my last school year and as always, a big group forms a spirit. They have a theme (superheroes - super boring). I didn't go to any party they threw and I don't plan to go to the graduation ceremony as well since it's an unofficial party and not a school event. I hate parties. I hate alc and drunken teenagers. I didn't attend the "Kursfahrt" - a kind of excursion that's like holidays with your course - mainly because I dislike my "Stammkurs" (main course).
Why? I had a friend in this course. She was short, geeky and I could actually talk to her. Yet some jerks (not intensely) bullied her because "she was awkward" and in the end, she switched school - also because of other reasons.
When she was gone, even those who didn't bully her and who are considered "nice" made fun of her and talked badly about her - and me hanging around with her. So since then, I avoid anything with them that's not 100% school related.
Now they're planning what we call "Abigag" - it's a joke/prank the graduates pull on the school and younger students, something funny like an entrance room full of balloons and many other things. Also, the "Abizeitung", the yearbook the graduates put out with articles about their courses, teacher ranking and quotes etc. Also, a cabaret evening from the graduates to collect money for the graduation party. Cool stuff actually. I thought about taking part.
I'd say my talents are creativity and computer stuff. So a friend chatted with me about nerdy pranks like a school-wide wallpaper change. Or releasing a fake password list of the teachers - claiming we hacked them - with puns and insiders about the teaches. He said he gotta invite me into the WhatsApp group of the Abi prank. Disclaimer: He's one of those people who are socialized but still able to talk with me. He's fine.
Well guess what he told me later:
They don't want me on the team since I distance myself from my classmates. I should either be fully one of them or not at all.
That's enough. Who distances whom? I thought they were happy to have me on board but horse shit! Stuck with ideologies from the 19th century.
They can lick my ***. I don't have anything against most of them in person but as a collective, they're just fucking stupid. I guess it wasn't even the majority saying they don't want me to help. It was probably just the small crew of leading and loud jerks. And no one would disagree with them saying "Why not? He wants to help?" (even if it was their opinion) - they don't have the brain or balls to say anything against the strong idiot leaders. They'll do great later in politics as an adult - they wouldn't criticize Hitler if they were under his "protection".
So I won't take part in making Abi pranks, - but also not the Paper and cabaret eve. They can go jerk off to being part of a huge collection of assholes - which I, in all my pride, am not part of other than on paper.
(Disclaimer: No critics to other outsiders but those who were engaged and responsible for the choice of not letting me help)
If anyone actually read this:
Who were/are you in school times?
A proud outsider like me? Party boi/girl? Engaged striver?25 -
FR rant
Warning : Do not use devRant in the lavatory, especially the shower.
So i was browsing devRant in the lavatory like a normal human being (?) and saw a post super funny, laughed so hard, and dropped the phone. Now the bottom left of my phone doesnt work.
So i was browsing devRant in the lavatory like a normal human being (?), went inside a shower without noticing that i went into the shower, turned on the faucet without noticing that i turned in the faucet, and i was attacked by fierce water with the pressure level 10 (10 is the max). Then i found out my favorite snoopy t shirt, which i wore just before coming into the lavatory, is wet. Completely. And water is dripping from my phone's charging port, but works flawlessly for 5 days.
So i was browsing devRant in the lavatory like a normal human being (?), writing this rant, and just because i feel tired, i moved a little bit and got my bottoms all wet which feels so bad...
So the final thing i would like to say is a feature request. Please check whether the user is in the shower or not. Lavatory is fine. But shower is not. You can use thr data retrieved from thw humidity sensor.
List of phones with humidity sensor : https://phonegg.com/list/...
Android sensor reference docs : https://developer.android.com/guide...9 -
The Linux Kernel is propably the best working example for open source.
Personally I had the most exciting experiences with open source games, like Super Tux Cart, OpenTTD, 0 A.D.
Once I watched a streamer playing OpenRCT2, but the Twitch integration server, which allows to have the names of the people in chat appear in the game, was offline. Because the game is open source, I was able to have a look at the API, write my own server in a couple of hours and share it. Was a really funny stream then!
Wine is a great project, too. I really like the idea that people cooperate with each other to bypass commercial limitations and on this way be able to play their favourite games on a free operating system. -
It was my first month as a driver developer fresh out of grad school, at a semiconductor company. There was an elusive memory alignment bug that had eluded the experts on the team. Of course, they had to assign it to me.
I was looking at the code where alignment was being calculated for nested structures case. I saw something funny: "size_t(object)". I asked the expert where it should have been "sizeof(object)". And, sure enough it was!!
I was super-thrilled to have fixed a bug in my first month, which had troubled the team for a long time! ^_^6 -
Okay. I’m upset. So the recent .NET update Microsoft put out fried SharePoint which I am currently the main point of contact for at our company. In addition, my only current projects are creating workflows.
I was publishing a workflow and got an error. I googled the error and found that it was the .NET update that caused it. Internet says to edit the web.config file for your web apps and it will be good to go. I go to our networks guy (only available supervisor) and explain what happened and ask about the recent patch and whether this could be the cause. He says that his team doesn’t actually handle the patches so I should speak with the HelpDesk lead (don’t ask).
I go to the HelpDesk lead and explain the situation, explain the solution and ask for what to do next. Keep in mind that this whole thing takes two hours because it’s Friday and everyone is out and I can’t do any of my work while I’m waiting on this. HelpDesk lead says “you have an admin account, I trust you. Go fix it” so I think uh okay.... I’m a junior and not even technically an IT person but sure. I know how to do it - but got nervous about fucking it up because our entire organization uses Sharepoint.
Nevertheless I go to my desk and look for the root directories and find that they’re on a server somewhere that I have no access to. I message the Helpdesk guy and tell him this and he says to talk to the developer supervisor. Great! He’s super nice and helpful and will totally understand! Only he’s not in. Neither is half of his team.
I go to his team and look around and find nobody but realize I may be able to catch one of the guys I know and work with in the break room. I start leaving and am stopped by a developer who is generally nice and funny. I explain the situation and he says “you... YOU need to edit a config file?” And scoffs. He demands to see what I’m talking about.
I walk him to my machine and show him what’s going on and all the research I did. I start to realize he thinks I’m overstepping and I begin to apologize and explain the details to why I was asked to do it and then I say “I really shouldn’t even be the one doing this” he says “no you should not. This isn’t getting done today. Put in a request, include your research and we will see what we can do when the supervisor gets back next week”
His tone was like I was in trouble and I know that I’m not, but it’s my goal to end up on that team and I just feel like shit about this whole situation. To top it off my boss pulled me off of two projects because of unrelated issues (and nothing to do with me) so I have basically nothing to do and I just feel very discouraged. I feel dumb and like I should have gone to the developers first. I just wanted to make it easy on everyone and do my research. I feel like I keep being put in situations above my level (I’m one of two juniors in a 16 person shop, the other one is an intern) and then “getting in trouble” for working beyond my scope.
Anyways.... fuck Microsoft4 -
This is real rant, not one of these funny stories!
So, I spent 4 years to get a Computer Science degree, and did two specializations, 3.5 years more in Uni. I have 6 years of experience working in IT, from support to programming. I also speak 3 languages.
I'm from a South America country, and now I'm living in EU.
I'm 30 now and earning a little more than a MacDonald's cashier earns in the US. I have to live in a shared apartment like a fucking Uni student. I have nothing, no car, no house, no girlfriend. WTF!
IT is a fucking lie! Profession of the future my ass!
In Uni they said that finding a good job was easy, that companies would literally grab us by the neck to work for them. LIE!
I did found a low paying job though, where at least I could learn a lot more.
People were really satisfied with my work and I even received a proposal of one of our clients to work for them, but the offer wasn't good enough.
I tried entering some big companies as a Trainee, but it was so ridiculous, they said they were looking for an IT person, but they asked things related to economy and other stuff that had nothing to do with IT. I always failed in the group work/interview, it was so ridiculous, I remember one candidate saying her dream was to work for the company since she was a child, SERIOUSLY!
When the opportunity came, I moved to EU and now I'm working as a dev. But as I said, I'm not satisfied with it! In the US the yearly average software engineer salary is about 100K, I earn less than 1/4 of it. And don't come saying that US pays more because of the cost of life, here the cost of life is the same or even more expensive, a super small apartment/loft is at least 180K, a simple new car 18K and a Big Mac costs 4€.
In the US, the average salary of someone that just graduated from uni is 60K to 70K! LOL
In EU, it's super hard for someone to earn 100K, that's why many companies are creating offices here, good workforce, 2 to 3 times smaller salary!
IT also sucks because it's too volatile, there's new stuff all the time. Someone always has to come with a new language, new framework, new library, etc etc. And you have to keep learning new stuff all the time.
Also job openings always ask for experienced people, like you must have at least two years of experience with VUE.js, or something.
Do you remember the last time you went to a doctor for a checkup, did they use a new tool, or did something different during the checkup? Probably not, the medic don't have to learn new stuff all the time, he is still using a stethoscope, he is still placing a wooden stick in your mouth to check your throat...
But in IT, almost no one nowadays is going to create code using CoffeeScript, they instead will use TypeScript.
I read an article saying that an IT professional must study 20 hours a week to keep up with new trends. So I must work 40 hours and study another 20? LOL
It's not that I don't like learning new stuff, but this sucks, I want to maybe learn something different or have a hobby.
Today I regret going to uni, I feel it was a waste of time and money. They taught things like calculus and physics that I never had to use professionally, and even programming stuff like linked lists I never had to use.
If instead I had studied dentistry or studied to be a ophthalmologist I think I would be earning more, would be working more independently and wouldn't need to keep up learning new things so much.
Also to work in IT you don't need a diploma, I read an article by a dude that learned programming by his own, did some software for his portfolio and got a job at Google.
When I read these kinds of story I regret even more going to uni, It really feels I wasted my time.
For these reasons I can't recommend going to uni to study IT, if you want to go to uni go study something else!
If you want to study programming do it on your own, there's everything you must know online for free, create a portfolio, and look for a job or even try working for yourself!
Living the life I have now, there's just no incentive to keep going.
Should I keep learning new stuff so maybe I can get a better job that will still pay low, or quit and try creating something on my own?
Or even ditch IT all together and go back to uni? LOL NO!5 -
I find it funny that, one of the most expected features on Windows, is not even a Windows feature. The teams at Microsoft must be feeling the same way we feel when, after a huge project, the client gets super excited when we implement or change something really, really small, that we did in a couple hours, just for fun.
-
Worst "hackathon" turned out to be the boss (scrum master type) and a Magento guy (super OCD) working on a tiny tiny adjustment to a email template. They didn't really do anything and expected me to just make it all way better with CSS alone. I built out a robust responsive email in a codepen for them. They acted like they couldn't trust me to be a part of the team because I wasn't contributing - but I wasn't even sure what was happening. Between gathering refreshments and patting themselves on the back... it was hard to see what they had done. The online presentation to the magento people was pretty funny to watch though. If you think you can't have a presentation about nothing - think again. Magento is totally fucked. The word 'hacking' is not really suited to describe 'programming websites/applications quickly' anyway. 'Ninja' and 'hack' should always be considered red flags. 'Magento' should be a triple red flag: Jerk-off Jesus-complex boss, self-centered out of touch programmers, crap product. Watch out!1
-
Funny team names? A team at my comapany cant call themselves the "super high intensity team" so they gotta find a new name.15
-
My previous post about the e repo was super funny, but sad news: the repo is gone. I started it. I should have forked it. On this day of December 10, 2018 we mark the death of the original eee repository...1
-
The senior iOS dev I was working with in my first job after uni - he showed me so many objc tricks and his self-written libraries to make working with UI stuff in swift more concise, it blew my mind. At the same time, he was very humble and calm, and had a funny humor at times. Also his code and the architecture in an older app we needed to work on was super easy to read and understand. That's why I want to be more like him - and eventually grow a beard :-)2
-
Saw a git repo that contains the node_modules folder and some dependencies and was wondering how'd fuck did this guy get this up here.... Mehn some devs can be super powerful(funny)
-
Wes Bos
Super funny front end developer which has great courses. I learned a lot from him and his humor is great and make his courses interesting and funny to watch.1 -
Let me just say that I've been playing whack a mole with a new feature for while now. And it's becoming very tiring.
TLDR; CTO is changing the way we're going to implement this, every other day.
June 1st,
CEO: let's implement feature AAA,
CTO: we're going to have a call with Andy to tell us all about his product that will make this super easy, call will be June 4th.
Days before June 4th,
Me: Researchs product X, makes demo works flawlessly.
June 4th,
Call all good, few tips from Andy. We come to the pricing section of Product X
CTO: this will not work, pricing doesn't fit on our budget, fair enough.
June 7th -11th
Me: research altenative approach. Makes second demo.
CTO: Works good, seems to have too many moving parts, let's have call with Bob to check Product Y. It should make our lifes easier.
ME: Geee, ok let's check it out.
June 14th,
Call with Bob, all good, product has a fair price, stuff is experimental.
CTO: let's use Product Y, and just use what we get from their api now, and worry about changes later.
Me: Hmmm, that's a bit risky, but ok, you the boss, right?, starts again new demo. API doesn't work as documented.
Lots of trial and error to figure out how the api is working now, finally demo works well,
June 17th,
API changed, now it works as documented, (expected as it is experimental), previous demo doesn't work anymore.
June 18th,
Redoing research. inputs are completely different from Product Y now, need to redo all that is working and do and a lot more of research.
Go live is scheduled for end of next week, I hope that the API is stable now, and that I get to go live on schedule.
It is funny to see, that it would probably been the same if we just waited on the API to stabilize, and check the pricing section before choosing a product? Who knows.
Anyways, I actually feel happy that over the years I developed the patience to work with ever changing situations like this one.4 -
OMG. Talking about NTFS in this rant :
https://devrant.com/rants/4449565/...
Made me think. Does the lastest version of Terminal on Windows supports that ? Does last cmd ?
LOL !!! the BEST terminal Microsoft ever made... Does not suport alternate streams in this test. (may be it's other syntax, no iea).
But cmd still does. The old cmd I never used since this terminal app was released.
I find it super funny.9 -
Dev super power? Be able and have the patience to rewrite a entire application in other language just because it's funny.
-
The new guy goes on and on an on during Stand. He covers absolutely every little fucking thing he's done with anyone he's worked with.
Our new project manager laughs at EVERYTHING. It's not that funny man.
The support guy is also super annoying. We found out he was homeschooled the other day. That explains a lot.1 -
Have you ever felt this way?
Taking a tour back in my developer life when I have little experience on my stack I spend days trying to fix bugs and finish tasks.
The funny thing is that I felt I was working much harder and earning less and I felt being used but that's not true because its hard to say that due to my little experience and besides those bugs won't show up if I had much experience, the bugs are very much avoidable and to crown it all an experience developer will fix it in little time, though I won't consider myself super experienced but at least I can say am better than those times and to me I have achieved some level of experience to look back at my misconceptions in the past.