Student - Teacher renaming .c to .exe make the program executable ?

Teacher - Yes

A group of people stand up and walking to the door

Teacher - Where are you all going ?

Students - We are going to drop this class.

Will the bug in my code please stand up?

I repeat

Will the bug in my code please stand up?

I think we have a problem here.

*music intensifies*

Finally a solution tonthe long stand up calls

Just heard someone bragging about his one night stand. Whatever mate, I've got two night stands. Either side of my bed.

After a long battle with CSS I give up and show the client a preview.
Client: I like how you made this first row a bit wider. Really makes it stand out.
Me: Yeah...right, that was intentional... 😎

One thing I can't stand: users interrupting my work. I guess there's a solution ;)

Agile my ass. Stand ups should not take 40 min.

someone checked their bag when flying this weekend. We now have a $2500 phone stand.

Apple just announced a new 6k monitor. The stand for it is NOT included and will cost $1000.

This snapshot of the presentation is meme-worthy.

...People will still buy it.

*taking a shit*

Apple Watch: Time to stand up!

sUrE

When you read a t-shirt full of number you don't under stand

This month's expenses:
- Computer parts to build a new computer.
- Separate video card.
- Hex monitor stand.
- 6 (second hand) monitors

I'm so sorry for my bank account 😥

I use Linux for work.
I use windows for gaming.
I think I used macbook once as a monitor stand.

This is just my token of appreciation for the Skype devs. Can't begin to say how much I hate it. Your android app is a joke even after a host of updates, your desktop client is an even bigger joke (atleast Linux Beta version, I know betas aren't supposed to be stable but this is ridiculous).

You have reinvented chat clients to be extremely bulky, cumbersome and very hard to sync across devices. And you have managed to make it "buffer" more than a YouTube video does on a 2G network. I for one, am blown over by how you did that. And to top it all, you can't close the client on Linux atleast! All you did is just override the close button so that it only minimises it. Brilliant piece of work right there!

Why the hell can't you just close the client and run it in the background the proper way like everyone else does? Why does it have to take 20 *** seconds to open a message? The only reason I am stuck with this is some wierdos in the office still only use this. Get your shit together 😡

Ahh.. I feel much better now.

How can some people stand not using a dark themed IDE?

In this case the person who quit was me.
Agency didn't pay the past 4 months, we asked at least the reimbursment of expences.
They told in a 2 hour arrogant speech that we must thanks them becouse they make us work even if they aren't paying. They said that "in this period these are the rules and we must accept this condition." So, I stand up, I went to shake the hand of the boss and others, I went to the door saying "good luck".
All the coworkers stand up and applauded.
Two months later the agency was closed declaring failure.

Our manager is not a developer and he has no idea of what we are doing most of the time, but he thinks that stand-up meetings are the coolest way to control us.
Sometimes coworkers joke about his lack of knowledge and today I think we reached the highest jerk level: «Yesterday I opened a new branch on the git repository and today I'll continue on this task».
I struggled to stay serious on my turn.

This Adidas shoebox as a laptop's stand to feel like a true slav

Buzzwords.

I can't fucking stand it when people use them in the entirely wrong context, just to sound smart, or whatever very much wrong or invalid reason.

But, I also can't fucking stand it when people, just because some word is a buzzword, invalidate/demonize it by default when it *IS* used in the right context.

I see this last one more and more and it annoys me to death.

Developers being called resources. I can't stand it.

I'm a backender. I fucking hate everything relating to designing, UI/UX designing and especially frontending.

I can't stand it when interfaces look bad/are off, have bugs and so on.

I just can't stand that stuff but the irony is real 😅

I once asked "in web development, what does CSS stand for?" some answered "Counter Strike Source"

What I'm posting here is my 'manifesto'/the things I stand for. You may like it, you may hate it, you may comment but this is what I stand for.

What are the basic principles of life? one of them is sharing, so why stop at software/computers?
I think we should share our software, make it better together and don't put restrictions onto it. Everyone should be able to contribute their part and we should make it better together. Of course, we have to make money but I think that there is a very good way in making money through OSS.

Next to that, since the Snowden releases from 2013, it has come clear that the NSA (and other intelligence agencies) will try everything to get into anyone's messages, devices, systems and so on. That's simply NOT okay.
Our devices should be OUR devices. No agency should be allowed to warrantless bypass our systems/messages security/encryptions for the sake of whatever 'national security' bullshit. Even a former NSA semi-director traveled to the UK to oppose mass surveillance/mass govt. hacking because he, himself, said that it doesn't work.

We should be able to communicate freely without spying. Without the feeling that we are being watched. Too badly, the intelligence agencies of today do not want us to do this and this is why mass surveillance/gag orders (companies having to reveal their users' information without being allowed to alert their users about this) are in place but I think that this is absolutely wrong. When we use end to end encrypted communications, we simply defend ourselves against this non-ethical form of spying.
I'm a heavy Signal (and since a few days also Riot.IM (matrix protocol) (Riot.IM with end to end crypto enabled)), Tutanota (encrypted email) and Linux user because I believe that only those measures (open source, reliable crypto) will protect against all the mass spying we face today.
The applications/services I strongly oppose are stuff like WhatsApp (yes, encryted messages but the metadata is readily available and it's closed source), skype, gmail, outlook and so on and on and on.

I think that we should OWN our OWN data, communications, browsing stuffs, operating systems, softwares and so on.

This was my rant.

/dev/wife just bought me a motorized sit/stand desk AND an ergo chair. Happy dance, happy dance!

I hate stand-up meetings in the morning... 😬

If you're a programmer & are happy

Please stand up, or if you're lazy , have your hand up 🕺

Devrant is like cigarettes...
You try not to, but you can't stand without it

Daily stand ups can be like this...

++-ing a random rant from the feed is like a one night stand whereas subscribing to a user's rant is like a long term relationship!

Apple Just Announced It's Selling a Mac Monitor Stand for $999

..and monitor does not come with a stand.

Windows:
32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company, that can't stand 1 bit of competition.

When you managed to stand up early and programme the whole morning:

So my office is located in the oldest part of the hospital I work at. Weird shit happens here, especially at night. Currently working on configuring our security cameras, stand by for triply shit.

The moment when...
1. You buy a new monitor --> Yay!
2. And you don't have the screw to connect the stand and the monitor --> Screw it!
3. And it is Saturday, service center closed. --> But, but, but.....

(cries)

WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING READ THE CHANGES IN YOUR FUCKING PULL REQUEST???

If you did, you would realize that 50% of the stuff is total fucking nonsense. I don't want to see that you changed "var a = 0" to "var a= 0" just because you can't type with your shitty fingers.

Also, if you did read the changes in your PR, you would have realized that you added a bunch of totally unrelated changes in totally unrelated files.

Fuck! Am I the only one who always tries to produce a clean changeset?? Damn

OH: "We reduced daily standups to tuesday and thursday. Otherwise we have to stand up too much and this nearly counts as sport."

What the fuck Apple, I thought selling a monitor stand separately at £999 was bad, £360 for putting fucking wheels on your Mac Pro, fuck me.

I had no fucking clue how to tag this, hence why it’s got 3 categories to it

Help my team get a new token for the stand ups... We are thinking about something more orange...

So this Fujitsu monitor has a Vesa 100x100 mount but the monitor stand isn't removable. Bruh, why even bother putting a Vesa mount on the monitor if you can't take the original damn stand off. Fuck you Fujitsu, fuck you.

Me: *Looks at calendar* Oh boy! A meeting free day - I can finally get X done!

Boss (after stand up): Are people up to do refinement and other Agile?

Been stuck in meetings all day (-_-)/

I miss actually doing my job.

Stand up... Walk away...

The Coding Gods will deliver the answer to you when you are ready to receive it.

I can't stand when people use (SomeBoolean == false) instead of (!SomeBoolean)

Going to system engineer interview expecting technical questions. Very nervous.

First 'technical' question "what does DDoS stand for?"
Second "what does LTE mean?"

😐😐😐🙄🙄😏🤣😄😅😃 Gonna nail this interview.

worst part of working in scrum: trying to remember what you worked on Friday for Monday morning's stand-up meeting.

Being up for nearly 28 hours, because you are actually too tired to sleep and were too excited to just stand up and continue working again.. 😶

Someone needs to turn verbose mode off on my boss.

Do you guys also cant' stand it when you are forced to let someone explain something in a very basic manner to you when you already understand that topic very deeply?

When your morning stand ups include non-tech personnel and you need to get back to the code

There's so many Javascript frameworks, that the only way to stand out is to create your own framework.

I don't see an end or point to this perpetual nonsense.

Can't stand people who compare high powered over priced MACs to regular cheap entry level consumer computer. Compare like for like....for Fuck sake. This dweeb just compared a £2100 MAC and a £600 consumer computer......!!!!....!!!!!

"During this crisis, we all need to stand together. We're contributing by providing 50% off domain registrations"

"Important COVID-19 update: Social distancing is a must. Free shipping on all dildos and vibrators"

Pandemic-themed marketing emails... 😩

Public announcement: if you build shitty software and get called out for it, either fix it and stand up for it, or fuck off. Nobody needs your idiotic passive aggressive tone.

Thank you

I stand amoung you as equal

When you are a dev/designer and you see an invoice with £225 for making a favicon with an existing logo, you know where most Web Agencies stand.

I really can't stand Apple anymore.

A very biased opinion, but I still stand by it 😂

I had a job that was one big meeting for 6 months. I kid you not. We had our stand up, had another meeting that extended the stand up to discuss issues highlighted in the stand up, then we would have a scrum catch up type meeting then after that work until about 12 so an hour ish? Then a call after lunch to catch up about the work we’d done and make sure everyone was ok, then probably a backlog meeting, then likely a company wide meeting and then at about 4? Probably a meeting. I don’t know by this point I’d lost the will to live. One massive joke of a company I swear

I wanted a "stand up desk".

"Simplicity will stand out, while complexity will get lost in the crowd." - Kevin Barnett

Devs can hardly stand testers but both of them are an integral part of the development process...

is it just me or daily stand ups feels like a bunch of virgins sharing thier first time feelings and details ...

Manager decides to hold our stand-up call on Skype when whole team is in the same room.

When you didn't do anything at work all day, but you need to think of a lie for tomorrow's stand up meeting.

Today I got the order to block all ports needed for LOL at a school. Even if its just LOL, is still violates everything I stand for. Lets hope that the children know what VPN is

I once had another dev tell me I needed to oil my chair because he couldn't stand hearing it scream for help all day. 😂

I dunno why, but my brain is just not weird to like syntactic whitespace.

Things like yaml, python and coffeescript...as much as I like Python...i just can't stand being forced to deal with whitespace.

1) buy devrant stickers.
2) travel.
3) put stickers on checked bags. One on every side would be preferable.
4) easily find bags when arriving to destination as devrant stickers will make them stand out.

Enjoy.

Phew,
now I have a MacBook Pro, an iPad Pro and an iPhone. I achieved my dream.

Apple: MAC PRO WITH DISPLAY AND STAND.

Coding lessons 101, it shouldn't be that fucking hard to understand what a pointer is but that's where we currently stand

3 hours in and I realize, I fucked up. I should have gotten another stand...

Middle monitor is a different model, but I didn't consider that the holes could be on different heights...

How is anyone supposed to compete with those kinds of numbers?

I thought the industry was struggling to find people?

Looked at a dozen other jobs just like it.

How are you supposed to stand out at all, if you're just getting started?

In a stand-up my PM and Client discuss about their kid's name. 😣🤐

Stand up on Zoom...
Day 1: No one knows who will speak their daily tasks first or last
Day 45: There is mutual order which appears out of the blue and everyone has their own sort of roll number for speaking in stand-up meeting😂

Make shift monitor stand until the real one arrives. TBH, it works pretty well!

Why in the fucking world did I decide to manually use @media screen in CSS instead of Bootstrap, I'm down to 212px wide screen now just because I can't stand that SOMEBODY might have a bloody screen that size.

My team's "Scrum" daily stand-up meeting lasts for 1 hour. We spend the first 30 minutes listening to the Product Owner's "updates"

BS like this can flipping fry an egg. Drops hot!

I can't even stand the one trying to calm the tide on Linkedin. Y'all fucking insane!

Does anyone here think LinkedIn would have been better without anyone able to post at all?

My work setup!
Still waiting for the cooling pad/stand for the notebook. Wish I could do without one but damn that thing gets hot.

When you stand up an entire web application in one day by pulling code from other projects. #winning #miracleworker

I feel like my GitHub activity graph is how would my stand would be if we were in JoJo

Sat in a McDonald's watching two staffers try to mop a floor.

I'll be honest, I'm very close to taking it away and doing it myself.

I cannot stand "busy work" do it properly or don't do it at all.

When you want to move jobs and you have no idea where you stand in the job market...

Resume says: Entry level marketing position for a leading company in *censored* industry.

Reality: I stand beside the road waving a 6 ft tall tall sign for a few hours a day while watching YouTube videos at the same time.

My stress ball has become the 'talking stick' at our daily stand ups.

The time-consuming daily stand-up meetings.

Day x stand up meeting scheduled for late evening:
Manager: so, what's up?
me: fixed two bugs, analysis going on for another, having a couple of blockers, but nothing out of the ordinary.

Day x + 1 stand up scheduled for morning:
manager: what's up?
me: *repeats pretty much the same stuff, with some updates on the analysis
manager: but this is what you told me yesterday.
me: but there haven't been any working hours between our two conversations.
manager: your efficiency is questionable.

me: *thinking about my happy place with a clenched jaw

Serious question, what's so great about using Macs for programming and dev work? Junior dev here and all my colleagues and superiors can't stand them.

Is there actually a technic benefit that I'm missing?

When the 15min stand-up meeting is 30 mins long

Today I explained to my wife why my night stand is a mess, and hers is clean and ordered by using the backend/frontend metaphor.

I am the backend, handling bills, bank accounts, taxes, warranties and all the paperwork.
She is my frontend, handling my social interactions.

Now she hates me, but she admitted I'm right.
She still want me to clean my night stand though.

Dear Devrant community,
please, tell me that I can report Safari's JavaScript debugger as a bug... Yeah, the whole debugger.

I can't stand anymore on how much it sucks!

I can’t stand how designers insist on over designing <select> elements. No, 50 divs with aria attrs will not make this component as usable as the native elements

What is the weirdest shit you have seen in a daily stand-up?

I've just seen a baby horse being born on the daily stand-up.

iPhone X : now I am only 999$ iMac pro : hold my stand 😀

devRant: because Twitter couldn't stand any more people complaining about Internet Explorer.

Our stand-up meetings last for 1 hour. Everybody talks for 5+ minutes so they will seem look "productive" in front of the managers.

I fucking love my job. The boss just bought all the devs, QA and support guys brand new sit/stand desks and gaming chairs. Those chairs are so damn comfy! :)

@Baguette is apparently a professional sleeper, please teach me, I need an expert in this domain, I can't stand going to work with barely 4~ hours of sleep / night

Choose yourself:
The one who is too lazy too stand up, the one reinstalled his PC literally every week, or the toxic guy that nobody wants too work with.

Got new chair 🙌 finally after 2 months of sitting on crappy chairs, and I moved to a new place. Here it is, I’m very excited to work in this setup, starting tomorrow 🎉(smaller keyboard and stand is planned 😎)

Got these from the GitHub stand at DDD Sydney..

They are really cool and can't wait to put them on my SurfaceBook 🤘🤘🤘

So anyone else has thoughts about Google and Facebook taking a stand against "fake news" online?

I mean obviously we could all do with a little less nonsense in our feeds, but where do we draw the line until this becomes 'censorship'.

Project Managers who stand next to you whilst you are attempting to patch a critical issue

My coworker and I attend remote stand up.
Half the time we are just playing "who is who" 😛🙊

fun fact: nothing is funny about a stand-up....ever...

I can't stand my MSI laptop keyboard. The enter key is 2x smaller to make place for a bigass * key, and the > is at the right of space key... Writing HTML makes me want to shoot myself.

What are your keyboard constructors lunacies ?

Another reason to love and support Open-source, is that you can be vocal about what you believe in, what you stand for, and what you support.

All without the fear of anyone or any criticism.

Happy first of may, happy international worker fight day to all the devs out there. Unighted we stand, duvided we fall

"Oh, we do our daily stand-ups on Friday's at 3PM for half an hour or so"

:/

Scrum Master? More like Scum Master.. The nutjob sends a calendar invite for daily stand up for 30 minutes which extends to 50 minutes.. 50 minutes for a team of 6 people ? Fuck off.

I can't stand this JS is sooo fast bullshit anymore. You just suck at coding if your code with the most other languages is significantly slower.

Trying to stand out at work is tiring and doesn't seem to really do anything...

Think I'll just go back to blending in and being quiet...

On a scale of 0 to who fucking cares, how important is it to stand on your feet during dailies?

I really hope this company never hires someone who uses a wheelchair.

Never thought I would like a standing Desk, but this is pretty great. Got horrible sleep last night, was falling asleep at my desk, so I stood up and pulled the desk up and WAM! No more sleepiness! Who needs Coffee or Soda when you have the power of STANDING.

I'm so sick of being the only developer to have the courage to stand up, shout, argue and put a stop to incredibly poor, short-sighted and uninformed, company-damaging decisions made by managment.

Who else despises front end? I cannot stand it.

When the QA reproducible steps might as well include all or one the following:

1. Stand upside down.
2. Wait till the moon turns red.
3. Hop on one foot.

If you have daily stand ups, don't let participants choose who speaks - we seem to spend 5 minutes of the 15 with people saying "no you go first".

Our stand up takes an hour everyday.

Explanation: everyday the same two guys pretty much hijack stand up by talking about tickets that ONLY involve them and has no relevance or dependency to the 8 other guys standing idle. Eventually I suggest they take the conversation offline because the rest of us aren't required. Scrum master gets offended and looks at it me like I've just spat in his face.

Productivity out the window or am I at fault?

In these GOT times,
managers will suffer,
PRs will not be merged,
Pivotal Tracker/Jira stories will not be attended to.
Stand-up meetings will be ditched.

Winter is here.

What's ur stand 'bout scraping publicly available info? Like is it legal, ethical etc.

"Communication that doesn’t take a chance doesn’t stand a chance." - Carlos Segura

Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? It's two-tired.

When you see your calendar isn't filled with useless huddles and stand-up meets, which have no purpose except distracting and disrupting your flow and focus.

That's how! 😡

SSL should really stand for "Satan's Security Layer", because anytime I have to deal with it, it's always a major pain in the rear. (And an expensive pain at that!) Why in 2016 is the SSL process so bad.

Ordered a new pc and got it in today.

Me starting it up: "oh right, Windows..."
*haven't touched windows in years*

Installing Ubuntu now cause I couldn't stand it anymore

I’m new on here I’m just here to rant and idk what to do with this app and I might delete it but I CANT STAND IT. I CANT STAND PEOPLE CONSTANTLY SAYING THINGS THAT BOTHER ME AND JUST SAYING”NO OFFENSE” AND CONSTANTLY HAVING AN OPION ON EVERY SINGLE THING I DO OMG I SOMETIMES JUST WANT TO SCREAM AND SAY TO SHUT UP.😐

*random person in tram witha huge backpack* let's stand in the middle of the fking door, with my backpack towards the door so I clearly can't see if anyone is trying to get into the tram.

What the fuck is wrong with you? There is tons of space and even seats free what the actuall fuck just move along already! Jeez. What's wrong with people! At least stand at the side or something.
That's a new kind of shit. Don't get to see this every day.

My setup. A macbook pro retina 2015. Dell 23inch monitor on a wooden monitor stand bought from Ali Express. With a Razer Goliathus extended mouse pad. Creative Sound Blaster E5 DAC headphone amp. And Bose OE headphone.

how can you stand the fact the guy who owns your company was able to bleed chalets and luxuries out of the product you worked on for him while you struggle to afford buying a house

i cant get over this fact

When you're in the zone, writing your genius down before you forget it, and you smartwatch reminds you to go stand and move around. 😑

Smoking 🚬 while working ⚒

Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Making mistakes is the only way to learn from them and grow. F*ck sh*t up and build it back up again but better. Fall seven times stand up 8!

Anyone here use one of those powered sit/stand desks? If so, how do you like them?

Not even knowing where you stand with a company because they never respond.

"In matters of style swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock."

In matters of js frameworks, just give up.

So a question to all of the Java developers out there, am I the only one who can’t stand the idea of programming using eclipse or netbeans? I feel like Intellij idea is the best IDE that one can use

Every thought of using developer-related stuff in your home? When I get married I plan to have a private family slack workspace and Trello board and everyone gives stand-ups.

JavaScript was born because Java and html decided to have a one night stand and html became too emotional to let go of it's kid...

MEETINGS
Daily stand up
Weekly status
Fortnightly update
Monthly planning

Life would be so much simpler without meetings. Just chat, why fuss over "meeting"?

As it is most of the things don't go as per what's planned in the monthly planning meeting.

Neither is there much of an update in the fortnightly update meeting. Only update is what we planned, isn't the right direction.

This will obviously screw up the weekly status. Screwed up planning is dishevelled implementation.

Daily stand up is just very sleep deprived developers, who don't wanna talk.

Make it my time's worth; say no more meetings.

When you are the last one in the team to succumb to the stand up desk craze. Stay weak legs! Stay weak!

I found this site searching for alternatives to stackoverflow, as I cannot stand the sass I get from those self righteous basement dwellers.
Am I wrong to think that I can come here to answer my coding questions?

Q: How do you stay warm in an empty room?\

A: Go stand in the corner—it’s always 90 degrees.

Developers aren't built to stand up for hours ,😅

Why can't bicycles stand on their own? They are two tired

"I can never stand still. I must explore and experiment. I am never satisfied with my work. I resent the limitations of my own imagination." - Walt Disney

Idk why but I can't stand GIFs. Their constant repetition translates into noise and becomes unbearable.

Buying a thunder purple 1+6T on Thursday... It will have more memory and more storage than my daily use computer (a Chromebook). Going to install UserLAnd, get a folding Bluetooth keyboard and a stand.

Laptop replacement. No, seriously.

Where do cyborgs stand in the robotic apocalypse?

lol @ doing stand-ups for the sake of stand-ups. I used to work for a company that vigorously applied them. Bro, I don't care about your development progress. You're wasting my time with your bla bla. Bunch of people just standing there rattling out their daily progress.. but no one really caring. Not useful.

lol..

Moved from A 10-day sprint to a 10-hour sprint.

Thank god we don't have hourly stand-ups.

When you come back from work after filling up jira, talking with colleagues during too long stand ups and writing documentation it's time to finally sit down and write some pure code.

Much better... sorta....

In your face Amazon!!!

Now I can easily know when new movies are added... though apparently Amazon considers live stand-up comic shows as Movies...

Since when was 45 minutes a 'quick' stand-up morning meeting.

Why are companies so biased against employees those who come late and work late as compared to those who come early and leave early?

Why is it okay to leave early but not so much to come late instead?

After some of us ignored repeated warnings, we've been told that anyone come after 10:30am will be marked half day absent.

So, if they do so, I'll sit there in office playing Fifa or Table Tennis, and not work until the second half starts xD

The reason for such biasness is that the daily stand-up is at 10:30, even though more people wanted it to be after 11. They even took a vote. And yet it was ignored (funnily initially more ppl voted for 11 initially and somehow some of the votes changed for in favor of 10am... Now slowly, because half the team wouldn't be on time, it's shifted to 10:30am.

And funnily, I'm already serving notice period in this company.

I just can't stand dark mode (except for coding). It hurts my eyes. :/

I think I am strange because I cannot stand perfume.
The smell of perfume irradiate me, the same with smell of leather polish.
I know that most person are fine with perfume and think that they smell nice but for me perfume smell weird.
When I need to go to formal party where almost every person wear perfume (both man and female) , it drain me too quickly.
What are you guy stand of perfume?

When your stand-up desk is 2cm too short for you to comfortably work on it...

PM: No, the daily stand-up meeting is more important than this urgent issue being solved

When you stand after waking up and have that unsteady feeling like you had been drinking the night before, but you hadn't.

Wtf, body? Is this how you thank me for not abusing you?

Manager during daily stand- up meet: We are all going to upgrade to 20GB RAM machines by the end of this week.

Me: Noice, can open two Chrome windows now.

Three back-to-back meetings today: Stand-Up, Planning, and Retro ... AKA two full hours of hearing everybody’s problems and hearing all viable solutions dismissed because we have no time to fix what’s broken.

!rant

I love that you can get Google to swear. In her oh so British accent. Voice search : 'what does FML stand for'

I think it's a black box for them...
Here is how I imagine they see it:

I go to work -> *I stand in front of the computer all day, typing stuff* -> I get paid

Stop hunting. Open a hotdog stand!

What is the point of working on a team in an open work environment if the only interaction I have with them is during our twice-weekly stand up?

Desk fans whirling. Sweating co-workers. An extra short stand-up.

That's right, the English summer has arrived.

"Never stand still. If you stand still, you get lost, because someone else is always moving. " - Armin Vit

Do any of you know of a good lightweight cross platform GUI system that doesn't use C++, .NET or Node.js? I'm kinda tired of those three.
Bonus points if it's easy to learn.
Should be stand alone on the desktop.

I hate PHP.

It's messy, I can't stand his syntax.

$ everywhere.

we all know, RTFM doesn't stand for -> Read The Friendly Manual

How many of you working in a corporate environment can’t stand people escalating “issues” to your bosses, bosses, boss ad nauseam, for things that aren’t actual issues.

Here is something I created just for you!

Having to remind myself during each morning stand up that i get paid not to murder my co-workers.
It's about time management need reminding that i need a pay rise.

It's done. Agile has taken over my life. The other day I looked outside and thought, "As a user, I can stand on my lawn without my feet disappearing." And that's how I decided to mow my lawn.

Family? What's that? 🤔

If anything they made me go to my room/corner because I couldn't stand them and I was always on the PC because I could distract myself from the local environment. 😢

Our Daily Stand Up literally became a meeting with discussions and Q&A portion. Greater than 30 minutes LOL

I hate unnecessary meetings. It is a waste of my productive time. Also I hate daily stand ups that becomes a regular meeting with question and answer portion lol

It is like they are lazy creating a separate meeting for specific concerns and just brings it up in the daily stand ups lol nice way of doing agile things lol

"Don’t let your design resist your readers. Don’t let it stand in the way of what they want to do: read." - Steve Krug

I hate it when you're in a groove and the daily stand-up knocks you out of it. Now I can't remember what the hell I was even doing before it.

Well seasons always shift too late
Spent too much time now on paths sideways
Everything that is connected and beautiful
And now I know just where I stand
Thank god it's over

(Pikul is a criminally underrated album of the band Silversun Pickups)

Soo.... when does devRant go from Fight Club to Project Mayhem? Will we have to stand outside of @dfox and @trogus's apartment for 3 days?

Damn those 30+ mins long stand ups. A standup shouldn't last more than 10 mins. Discuss your detailed analysis of the project outside of the standup. 😤

This is something I saw on Twitter. I find this is a really good question.

What makes a senior software engineer stand out from a software engineer ?

I can't stand how big tech companies treat you like a child. Every fucking team bonding activity is more childlike than the other.

Its like they are about to bundle crayons and pizza next time you are on crunch.

How about ' What tech/framework/language do you trust will truly stand the test of time' ? Sorry if someone has already suggested this but I would love to see opinions.

Everyday at our standup with my team we chant "Aaaand Break" at the end, Today my manager gave me a new task to come up with a new routine chant for our team standup tomorrow, I have no idea about what to come up with- Any thoughts ?
I just have "go team" in mind, does anyone here do anything similar, want to hear your team disperse chant.?

Misused phrases by non-tech people I can't stand in 2020: "the new normal" & "telework". It's like how in 2018 everyone used "algorithm" like they knew what they were talking about. Same thing in 2007 with "accelerometer".

There is no single laptop stand for my ROG. Why everyone makes holders for tiny woman notebooks and snowflake mac-s? I am the only one who needs a massive, strong, adjustable laptop holer?

Trying to type in a normal text editor after 7-8 hours of editing with vim is the same feeling as spinning yourself on the spot until you can’t stand anymore then trying to walk in a strait line.jhw

Hey devRanters. Which position are you guys using for your workplace?

I'm sitting a lot of the time, but move a bit around in the chair. Every 30-45 mins I stand up an walk a bit.

Me: god bless me *Open Android Studio*
Laptop: *screams in bluescreen*
Me: *screams in laggy anger*
Fire Alarm: *screams*

i need to bring my pc to office ASAP. can't stand this anymore

I am so fucking sick of daily stand ups. What a fucking waste of my time, even if it’s only 15 minutes, it fucks up my workflow and is just generally fucking annoying

today during the stand-up I said: "if everything goes OK, I'll submit the PR by noon"; guess what? everything went to hell. FML

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.

everyday I thinking about "sudo rm -rf /" just stand up and leave

My watch gives me periodic reminders to stand up.

I just so happened to be on the crapper at the time. I had just come to the conclusion of my business and before I could, it reminded me to stand up.

For a split second, I was like, man this thing really is living my life for me.

Place to code:
Wherever I get place to make a V shaped stand for my lappy with my legs and stomach.

Manager in stand-up: So what's the update?
Me: Quack quack.

Another agile meeting after our daily stand up? Sure Lets waste some more time

When your stand up meeting update is just, "yesterday I was lost in merge hell".

My friend makes fun of me for liking Java, php and the fact i like coding OpenGL instead of using game engines.

Where would holy devrant stand ?