Do all the things like ++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatarSign Up
Get a devDuck
Rubber duck debugging has never been so cute! Get your favorite coding language devDuckBuy Now
Search - "we have bigger problems"
Senior frontend Dev at my company: "microservices best thing ever"
Also him: "Relational databases gonna die"
Also him (talking to the DB team): "You're gonna dissapear, Mongo is the future"
Me: "Eh... Dude, Mongo is still a database.."
Senior manager calls me at 3pm today. I’ve known about this issue since last Friday, one of her pions told me to hold off until Thursday when he’s back in the office and that I could prioritise other tasks.
I have another task with a deadline of the 21st with the potential for fines if it’s not done.
Snr manager: “I’m calling to see how this is going”
Me: “cool, it’s not, bigger problems in the world”
Snr manager: “waah, this has to be done Monday or we face the potential of a court case, fines, this is the biggest problem in the world”
Me: “I’ve known about this issue for a week, have been told not to worry too much and nobody has mentioned the impact or timeline you’ve just given me.”
Snr manager: “so can it be done for monday”
Me: “no chance”
Snr manager: “why not?”
Me: “because it’s 3pm Friday and I have 1 hour of Work left, good luck”
My manager was in the room, he got an arsey call soon after. I don’t really care how that one went but he’s a good guy so I’m sure it was fine.
I also had the joy of asking: so give me an idea of the potential fine... to which they wouldn’t give me an answer.
I need this to weigh up which of the potentially finable tasks takes priority.
The other team that had trouble told me all the dates, gave me over a months notice and the scale of the problem.
If you want someone to help: be polite, give them as much warning as you have and be absolutely honest.
The job’s done cause I’m a fucking legend. But they’re not gonna find out until 5pm Monday. That’s the dickhead tax, they get the dickhead tax for being dickheads.
I’m gonna spend Monday working from home, incommunicado. Fuck incompetent arseholes.
Enjoy your weekend everyone, I know I will mine.13
Client:"So we would like to found a new company and offer IT and network consulting. Would you be able to build our website?"
Me:"Absolutely. What will be the name of your company?"
Client:"The name is going to be 'Generic-IT'. The website is going to be 'generic-IT.com' . We checked that with google."
Me:"I am sorry to tell you that generic.com is already taken by another company. Incidentally that company offers the same services, that you intend to offer. They also seem to be quite big an have businesses in 5 different countries.
Because of this I advise you to pick a different name that does not get you into trouble and makes positioning your own brand easier."
Client:"We want to neglect that problem for now."
Me:"0.0 ..... -_-""""
"Well, listen. Apart from the possible branding and copyright problems imagine how people will find you on the web. ...What will happen if you google 'generic IT'?"
Client:"Yeah well, we want to neglect that. And with SEO you can do something about that."
Me:"..........Welllll, you that SEO is not a cure all, right? The older an bigger company will come up first. Why not avoid that missunderstanding and come up with a unique name?"
Me:"Please tell me. Doesn't any part of my argument make sense to you?"
Me:"Well, ok. I will send you the estimate on monday."
Then over a back channel I hear that the client is ...bewildered, why I would not stick to my area of expertise.
There I was now. Left bewildered myself, being the one with the webagency that does frontend design and branding.7
Taking IT classes in college. The school bought us all lynda and office365 accounts but we can't use them because the classroom's network has been severed from the Active Directory server that holds our credentials. Because "hackers." (The non-IT classrooms don't have this problem, but they also don't need lynda accounts. What gives?)
So, I got bored, and irritated, so I decided to see just how secure the classroom really was.
So I created a text file with the following rant and put it on the desktop of the "locked" admin account. Cheers. :)
1. don't make a show of "beefing up security" because that only makes people curious.
I'm referring of course to isolating the network. This wouldn't be a problem except:
2. don't restrict the good guys. only the bad guys.
I can't access resources for THIS CLASS that I use in THIS CLASS. That's a hassle.
It also gives me legitimate motivation to try to break your security.
3. don't secure it if you don't care. that is ALSO a hassle.
I know you don't care because you left secure boot off, no BIOS password, and nothing
stopping someone from using a different OS with fewer restrictions, or USB tethering,
or some sort malware, probably, in addition to security practices that are
wildly inconsistent, which leads me to the final and largest grievance:
4. don't give admin priveledges to an account without a password.
seriously. why would you do this? I don't understand.
you at least bothered to secure the accounts that don't even matter,
albeit with weak and publicly known passwords (that are the same on all machines),
but then you went and left the LEAST secure account with the MOST priveledges?
I could understand if it were just a single-user machine. Auto login as admin.
Lots of people do that and have a reason for it. But... no. I just... why?
anyway, don't worry, all I did was install python so I could play with scripting
during class. if that bothers you, trust me, you have much bigger problems.
I mean you no malice. just trying to help.
For real. Don't kick me out of school for being helpful. That would be unproductive.
Plus, maybe I'd be a good candidate for your cybersec track. haven't decided yet.
-- a guy who isn't very good at this and didn't have to be
have a nice day <3
oh, and I fixed the clock. you're welcome.2
Email from Client:
Hi, we'd like this and that done to our website. I know you aren't finished building it yet but I believe we can change what we agreed upon.
Let me see what I can do, I'll try squeeze in some of those changes but the bigger ones I'll have to check with the boss.
Yes, we can do those changes at an additional cost, quote them $1000 (example)
Me to client:
Hi there, yes we can do that but we have to charge $1000 for those additional changes that weren't initially agreed upon, and we'll need an extra week on the deadline.
Oh no no no... I know how this works. If I wanted to do this myself I would. You will do the work and get it finished in time, and I will only pay you $200 for it. I don't like being scolded for money.
Me and Boss: Yeah.... this isn't working out. Please find a new company to deal with.
Conclusion, this client was always giving us problems and telling us how we should be charging and how we should be doing our jobs. It was so satisfying to just them let go.4
Guys, we need talk raw performance for a second.
Fair disclaimer - if you are for some reason intel worker, you may feel offended.
I have one fucking question.
What's the point of fucking ultra-low-power-extreme-potato CPUs like intel atoms?
Okay, okay. Power usage. Sure. So that's one.
Now tell me, why in the fucking world anyone would prefer to wait 5-10 times more for same action to happen while indeed consuming also 5-10 times less power?
Can't you just tune down "big" core and call it a day? It would be around.. a fuckton faster. I have my i7-7820HK cpu and if I dial it back to 1.2Ghz my WINDOWS with around lot of background tasks machine works fucking faster than atom-powered freaking LUBUNTU that has only firefox open.
tested i7-7820hk vs atom-x5-z8350.
opening new tab and navigating to google took on my i7 machine a under 1 second, and atom took almost 1.5 second. While having higher clock (turbo boost)
Guys, 7820hk dialled down to 1.2 ghz; 0.81v
I felt everything was lagging. but OS was much more responsive than atom machine...
What the fuck, Intel. It's pointless. I think I'm not only one who would gladly pay a little bit more for such difference.
i7 had clear disadvantages here, linux vs windows, clear background vs quite a few processes in background, and it had higher f***ng clock speed.
Intel atom processors use less power but waste a lot of time, while a little bit more power used on bigger cpu would complete task faster, thus atoms are just plain pointless garbage.
Tested in frustration at work, apparently they bought 3 craptops for presentations or some shit like that and they have mental problems becouse cheapest shit on market is more shitty than they anticipated ;-;
fucking seriously ;-;16
Recently installed SonarQube and its been amazing to see the level of code quality (or lack thereof)
Some projects have 30 to 60 days of technical debt and I found a few files with a cyclomatic complexity over 100. I’m still learning what the “good” numbers should be.
Yesterday, couple of devs were very proud they were going to start reducing the numbers, they started with one of my solutions that had 5 minutes of technical debt. Yes, 5 minutes.
DevA: “OMG…look at this…it has a cyclomatic complexity of 11…that’s terrible. I thought we were supposed to be professional developers.”
DevB: “And take a look at this, he used the double-slash instead of a triple slash for comments. How does any of code even compile?!”
Me: “Maybe we should tweak some of those SonarQube rules so they make more sense to our code base. We’re never going to use unicode, so all those string culture warnings should go away and code comment formatting? Who cares? Be happy we have comments. I think we should also focus on the bigger fish in that pond. The CRM project is one of the biggest and has a lot of improvement opportunities.”
DevB: “There you go again, don’t bring me problems, bring me solutions..ha ha”
DevA: “Yea, no kidding …hey…did you see the logger? OMG…the whole class is over 25 lines…we gotta split that up into smaller projects so it’s more manageable.”
It’s a good thing our revenue stream isn’t dependent on people getting work done.2
Ahh, this particularly memorable occasion, it’s not much of a “fight” per se, but remembering the events I really want to beat the shit out of those asshats,
Backstory, I was working in a project, big one, my previous one, we had all this “squads” to say, agile teams consisted of several devs, I was happily working in my squad namely squad “A”, until one day by the end of a sprint my PO asked me to help another squad, call it squad “B”,
Curious for the reason as I may be, I ignored it at first, after all having the higher up owing me one is always welcome, A and B are having similar amount of dev team, with A having 1 more Front End developer,
Skipping the boring detail, continue on to my first sprint, I saw problems within the team, the other 4 FE consisted of 2 foreigners (call them “the good guys”) and 2 of our own (same vendor as me, let’s call them “the pricks”),
The ones leading discussions most of the time are the pricks, the good guys usually keep their mouth shut, calm and composed, and when shit happens, the good guys usually fix the problem without any fuss, on the contrary, the pricks threw fit all over the place trying to find somone to blame first,
Skip all the excruciating 2 weeks of trying to guide them in the right way, and talking with their PO, my PO, tech leads, etc, I came across a development of a certain feature, PR already made and waiting for review from a TL, then being the impatient ass B’s PO is, he pushed me to ask for a review from another TL, and the only one available is “the meticulous and perfectionist” TL, which is definitely not my choice in any given order,
Simple math, I assigned my review to TL X, wait a day, it’ll definitely be merged within a day, give it to TL Y, he reviews it immediately, and he’ll find all these shit squad B’s been writing, and then I’ll be spending 3 days trying to clean it up, but no matter, the PO insist on having it reviewed first,
Lo and behold, it happened, I had to refactor all the shit the pricks have been writing, again, I took the high road, until I stumbled upon a piece of code that just doesn’t makes any sense, no matter how exhaustively I put the effort to trace it out, an hour passed by and I decided to ask the pricks, let’s call them #1 and #2, #1 being the senior prick, and #2 being the regular prick but bigger pain in the ass, it went on something like this,
Me: uhh, sorry to bother you guys, but what’s this piece is used for?
#2: huh? Dunno, last guy to touch it was #1
Me: eeh, but the line history says it’s you,
#2: strange, I don’t remember, for testing probably
Me: well TL said to remove this one if it’s unused, I want to know if it’ll affect any functionality
#2: well, go figure
Me: yep that’s why I’m asking
#2: well, if you don’t need it just remove it
Me: again that’s what I’m trying to figure out, will it affect any functionality, since time is pressing I don’t have room for experimenting so I’m trying to find some solution by asking the creator if he might have any insight on this matter
#2: well don’t ask me, try asking #1
Me: dear sir #1 have you the faintest idea of what this piece of scripture might mean?
#1: huh? No idea, #2 wrote it
#2:... I don’t remember, I thought it was you,
#1: see the git blame, it’s #2
Me: guys, since we’re not getting anywhere, I’ll just go against my guts and remove it, so that everyone can live happily ever after,
#2: wait, who’s asking?
Me: the reviewing TL,
#2: yes, who?
Me: mr Y
#2: let’s meet with him
Me: what for?
#2: you said he wants to delete the code, let’s have a chat with him
Me: *not this shit again
#2: what are we waiting for, let’s go,
Me: naah, no need I’ll just delete it as you said it first, sorry, my bad
#2: what’d you say?
Me: I already deleted it, nevermind
#2: why did you do that? If the TL doesn’t like it let’s have a chat
Me: and what would be the point of that? I deleted it already, case closed, I’ll take the responsibility for fixing anything that may come up later, I don’t have time for your childish shit,
#2: *glares at me
Me: *glares back
#1: now, now, let’s all take a step back here, blah blah blah
#2: blah blah blah
And they both starts arguing with each other after #1 tries to act all diplomatic, I left them to their own discussion, and proceed with the PR,
Thankfully removing the piece of code doesn’t affect anything, it seems like #1 or #2 forgot to delete it when fixing the unit test some commits ago1