Coworker: You've merged the wrong PR. It is broken.
Me: is it marked as broken? Is there a mail marking it as broken?
Coworker: yes. I wrote something in the chat.

Me: 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

I do NOT read and click every brain fart from the chat. I had the PR (as reviewer and dependent developer) open on my desk and waited for the coworker to fix his merge conflicts.

OK then, try to revert. Git reset hard. Push -f. Policy does not allow master modification. 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

Fuck this company. Fuck the policies. Fuck them all with a chainsaw. Forced me to work 2 weeks more. 17.04 should have been my last day at this circus. Let 3 other guys go to vacation while I have fix their management's mistakes. Fuck. You. All. Eat shit and suffocate in piss.

*** potential trigger warning for people who don't like the c**t word***

WHY CAN'T PEOPLE FUCKING UNDERSTAND THAT DEVELOPMENT TAKES FUCKING TIME!

I am so fucking sick of everyone thinking that I can just "make X do Y" in fucking no time. Or how I can't manage 4 fucking website builds at fucking once while project managing them, dealing with clients AND TOLERATING THEIR FUCKING PETTY IN OFFICE BULLSHIT!

I hate saying this word but some people are cunts. I have a finite amount of hours in the day to work. I have priorities to do during the day. Just because some snivelling Shit bag wants his fucking amends done by tomorrow THREE TIMES IN A FUCKING WEEK does not mean that I will drop everything and do it.

Then, when it doesn't happen and YOU cc in the boss in an email chain with a fun "FYI" telling me what I already know as if I'm a brain dead fucking frog... I could genuinely tear your fucking throat out. I don't need this shit. I am not paid enough to deal with your pansy ass fucking bullshit.

YOU WRITE FUCKING EMAILS ALL DAY AND OCCASIONALLY TAKE PHONE CALLS THEN DO SOME PPC CAMPAIGNS YOU FUCKING MARKETER PIECE OF SHIT!

{{ ENDRANT }}

Generic-IT
--------------
Client:"So we would like to found a new company and offer IT and network consulting. Would you be able to build our website?"

Me:"Absolutely. What will be the name of your company?"

Client:"The name is going to be 'Generic-IT'. The website is going to be 'generic-IT.com' . We checked that with google."

Me:"I am sorry to tell you that generic.com is already taken by another company. Incidentally that company offers the same services, that you intend to offer. They also seem to be quite big an have businesses in 5 different countries.
Because of this I advise you to pick a different name that does not get you into trouble and makes positioning your own brand easier."

Client:"We want to neglect that problem for now."

Me:"0.0 ..... -_-""""
"Well, listen. Apart from the possible branding and copyright problems imagine how people will find you on the web. ...What will happen if you google 'generic IT'?"

Client:"Yeah well, we want to neglect that. And with SEO you can do something about that."

Me:"..........Welllll, you that SEO is not a cure all, right? The older an bigger company will come up first. Why not avoid that missunderstanding and come up with a unique name?"

Client:"......"

Me:"Please tell me. Doesn't any part of my argument make sense to you?"

Client:"..."

Me:"Well, ok. I will send you the estimate on monday."

___________

Then over a back channel I hear that the client is ...bewildered, why I would not stick to my area of expertise.

There I was now. Left bewildered myself, being the one with the webagency that does frontend design and branding.

Whoever implemented the data import in Numbers on Mac needs to be lined up against a wall and shot with needles until they wish they were dead.

Why on all of gods unholy green and shitty earth would i want data i import (EVEN IN CSV FOR FUCK SAKE) to be delimited by an arbitrary text width? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

WHY WHY why would I EVER want to delimit my carefully structured data by fucking text width instead of new line or comma? AAAAARRRHHH

And what fucking big brain genius made this the DEFAULT SETTING for imported text AND CSV FILES. IT STANDS FOR COMMA SEPARATED FILE YOU FUCK BOI MAYBE JUST MAYBE I WANT IT SEPARATED BY FUCKING COMMMMMMMAAAAASSSSSS

Why is it so important to some people to claim that "HTML and CSS are not programming languages"? I get it, you're a REAL programmer working with arrays, maybe tuples, objects and possibly direct memory management. Who the fuck has a right to call themselves a programmer for writing some brain dead markup or poorly designed selectors, right? Who fucking cares for semantic tags or nested selectors?

Just think for a few seconds about when you were taking your first baby steps to becoming the GOD ROCKING MEMORY HANDLER THAT WRITES _REAL_ CODE that you are today, and how good it felt to be able to create something that appeared on your screen. It felt pretty awesome, yeah?

Now imagine if someone much more experienced than you told you "You're not a real programmer, that is not real programming. You should see what I do, I do real programming".

I think you get it. Why spend your energy spreading bad vibes when you could spend it on something more productive. Like reading up on the new CSS4 specs ;)

//begin midnight rant

THATS IT, I AM PISSED OFF NOW ABOUT THIS SNAPCHAT SHIT!!!

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK !!!

I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK WHEN SNAP CHAT WAS INVENTED

I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK WHEN WATSAPP COPIED ITS FEATURE(yeah I haven't seen your pathetic story)

AND I ALSO DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT THE SHIT ITS GOTTEN INTO NOW.

as a guy who is allergic to people I stay the fuck away from such apps.

but for God's sake get real u shit heads... Uninstalling an app is not an achievement worth bragging about( there is a drag and drop interface for it in ur Android phone)

Here is a guy who started his own company when he graduated from college and is providing employment to 100s of ppl and ur going to put that at risk just because your fragile ego was hurt because of "poor country " comment fuck u do your research that comment was made in 2015 when a monthly 1gb 3g internet would burn a hole in your pocket

Go screw yourselves u brain dead pieces of shit if u r so worked up about being called a poor country then start a company and provide jobs for the people who are struggling(why would you when uninstalling an app is so much easier).

Any one with 300 mg of common sense would have realize that the video would have difficulty in buffering in your slow ass 2g internet pack in your phone in 2015 when Jio sim was not yet introduced.

People like you are the reason I wish the super villains would win at the end of sifi movies.

I hope God(if there is one and if ever he decides to give a fuck) would give the guys who built this app the strength to get through this shit storm

PEACE OUT

//End of mid night rant

My school just tried to hinder my revision for finals now. They've denied me access just today of SSHing into my home computer. Vim & a filesystem is soo much better than pen and paper.

So I went up to the sysadmin about this. His response: "We're not allowing it any more". That's it - no reason. Now let's just hope that the sysadmin was dumb enough to only block port 22, not my IP address, so I can just pick another port to expose at home. To be honest, I was surprised that he even knew what SSH was. I mean, sure, they're hired as sysadmins, so they should probably know that stuff, but the sysadmins in my school are fucking brain dead.

For one, they used to block Google, and every other HTTPS site on their WiFi network because of an invalid certificate. Now it's even more difficult to access google as you need to know the proxy settings.

They switched over to forcing me to remote desktop to access my files at home, instead of the old, faster, better shared web folder (Windows server 2012 please help).

But the worst of it includes apparently having no password on their SQL server, STORING FUCKING PASSWORDS IN PLAIN TEXT allowing someone to hijack my session, and just leaving a file unprotected with a shit load of people's names, parents, and home addresses. That's some super sketchy illegal shit.

So if you sysadmins happen to be reading this on devRant, INSTEAD OF WASTING YOUR FUCKING TIME BLOCKING MORE WEBSITES THAN THEIR ARE LIVING HUMANS, HOW ABOUT TRY UPPING YOUR SECURITY, PASSWORDS LIKE "", "", and "gryph0n" ARE SHIT - MAKE IT BETTER SO US STUDENTS CAN ACTUALLY BROWSE MORE FREELY - I THINK I WANT TO PASS, NOT HAVE EVERY OTHER THING BLOCKED.

Thankfully I'm leaving this school in 3 weeks after my last exam. Sure, I could stay on with this "highly reputable" school, but I don't want to be fucking lied to about computer studies, I don't want to have to workaround your shitty methods of blocking. As far as I can tell, half of the reputation is from cheating. The students and sysadmins shouldn't have to have an arms race between circumventing restrictions and blocking those circumventions. Just make your shit work for once.

**On second thought, actually keep it like that. Most of the people I see in the school are c***s anyway - they deserve to have half of everything they try to do censored. I won't be around to care soon.**

How can you defend your ugly unstructured mess of a PR, when every spit-droplet infused spray of words from your mouth is full of syntax errors?

How can you call yourself a developer without being aware of basic logic? I ain't got no tolerance for double negations, not not true is just true, you doltish twat.

WHEN YOU TALK THERE IS A CLOUD OF RED SQUIGGLY LINES IN THE AIR FLOATING AROUND YOUR HEAD.

I mean what the fuck is up with eggcetera? Why are you just swapping out letters? What has the little ligature t in & ever done to you? Do I have to fucking replace & with 🥚 so your word diarrhea makes sense again?

NO. JUST PLEASE... STOP TALKING. YOU'RE RAPING LANGUAGE, AND IT WAS ALREADY BEATEN DEAD.

Unlike me, you have a degree in computer science... but how, how the fuck did you pass? How did neither your tongue nor code get stuck in a linter?

AND YOUR RESPONSE IS STILL: "YOU DON'T NEED TO LEARN WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED WITH SCHOOL" ... "WHAT DOES IT MATTER, IT WORKS, RIGHT?"

NO, IT'S NOT RIGHT.

You're lucky I love refactoring.

I'll start with a medical grade steel scalpel and a long sharp hook. Maybe I can clean up this brain a little. See if the tests turn green if I cut some of this gray matter away... plenty of unreachable statements, so many unnecessary loops...

Might have to start from scratch.

I started drinking coffee when I started as a junior dev.

I loved its boost, but after a while being on coffee was exactly how I felt before as normal. I incrementally upped the dosage, while my resistance creeped up too. I reached a moment when I drank a liter daily, so I witched to yerba maté instead, which resulted in more potent brews. Then I got used to its strength too plus it tasted like horseshit. I switched to caffeine tablets, takingg more and more. Soon after I reached a level which was described medically as the top one should be allowed to take.
I no longer felt any boost. In between caffeinated moments of normalty, I felt like a brain-dead zombie. When I was caffeinated, I was jittery, my shoulder and eyebrow was glitching, my stomach was flexing like before taking a huge exam.
After some miserable time like that, I quit caffeine entirely. I was fatigued, dull and my mind was hazy for te next 1-2 weeks.

I then finally, became gradually normal again.
I drink tea and coffee only socially, perhaps a few times in a month, and never after too much later than noon.

Now I can't wear my "Programmer. Converts coffee into code" shirt anymore. Apart from that, I'm much better off :)

What's your coffee story?

TL;TR

My mum just came to me asking me why the mouse is not working ...like I'm GOD of electronics :( (I'm just a simple dev) I simply though that the battery is dead because it's old. Soooooo.....
I showed her how to open it and how to change the battery. After 5 min she came back with a new battery and the same mouse asking me to fix it for her....

In my mind I literally snapped my brain was bleeding and exploding at the same time.

I just cringed a fake smile and changed the battery in front of her very slowly. I sure she won't remember how to do it next time.

At the end of the story I can't talk back or be angry to my parents I have to much respect for them. They though me everything from how to poop, speak, dress, eat and so on.

Be kind to your parents.

Coworker: I've got an error, can't figure it out...
Me: Send error
Coworker: NullPointerException
Me: fml

Sr. my balls.

!rant && extra('worried');

My 11 years-old brother seems to be addicted to Minecraft, not the "dis iz so kool" addiction, but the "I put my health and education in danger to keep playing this game (homeworks badly done, grades free falling, showers without soap in 30s flat, food eaten in 15s, starts to yell at parents when they want him to stop playing (parents bitch slapped him a few times for this, but he seems to persist)).

My parents are over 55 now, so they don't really know how to handle this (can't / don't want to blame them), and I'm supposed shove some reason in his dead brain next weekend (I live 150km away).
I've been addicted myself to videogames in general and WoW in particular ((almost) no regrets) a few years back.. what should I say to him else than "This shit will ruin your life even before you started it" (which is planned anyway) ?

Good ol' fucking brain-dead autistic dipshit me just pulled an all-nighter reading rants on fucking devrant

Now wish me a good day's sleep you perfect-ragging entertaining bastards filling up devrant with the best posts I've ever read about programming.

My feelings towards half the people in my class because most a brain-dead cunts with no aspirations or passion for anything they do.

*My friend texting me*

Friend: wtf

My brain: w tf
My brain again: tf
My brain again: import tensorflow as tf

😂😂am brain dead

Oh for fucks sake on a horse raping twat of a week.

It’s like everything that could go wrong did go wrong, from people fucking up, to orders being fucked up in multiple systems to me wanting to break someone’s fucking nose for being a complete dumb fuck. Seriously how do people that do a job, day in and day out go completely fucking brain dead and fuck things up beyond fucking repair over hundreds of orders.

Sorry but FUCK this shit, it can wait till fucking Monday you cunt rash of a shit.

The Interview (Part 2)

I feel like I can make 13 episodes of this shit. I reviewed another resume that has more than ten pages and contains very little useful information. What kind of pain, internal hemorrhage, brain damage, and trauma does one have to endure before he decides:

"I'm gonna make my resume thicker than old school Song Hits magazine. That would be really cool. That would get me hired."

Jesus Christ, I summon you again. I told you dying for these little fucks isn't worth it but nooooo, no one ever listens to me. iM gUnNa DiE aNyWaY, nAiL mE oVa ThErE. Now look at this shit, one "block" per page.

1. Each block contains the position, company, and responsibilities except each block is repeated over and over again for each "project".

2. Each project has no specific name, just numbers but Project 1, 2, 3, and so on just isn't enough so he used roman numerals instead. Roman fucking numerals. I thought that was the name of the project until I scrolled through the different companies he's been in and that format persists starting from Project I to Project XII.

3. Each responsibility starts in a new line, some are not capitalized so you don't even know if it's the continuation of the previous sentence or what except sometimes, there is no previous sentence.

4. The blocks aren't even arranged properly. He has experiences from 2019, 2018, **2015**, and then 2018 again, 2017, 2016, and so on. I know this because I tried to give the guy a chance. Maybe he's one of those good developers who are just absolutely terrible with these things so I tried to "extract" the gist of the resume.

5. The gist is "nothing to see here". He just did all of this to look like he has plenty of experience and the recruiter must have thought "Wow, I bet this guy would pass." He had five years of experience but all I got aside from the giant headers are "joined the project blah blah", "used <something so basic, it's not worth mentioning> to maintain blah blah", and something in the tune of "changed the scrollbar to blah blah".

Example:
Ass Licker - Project VII
Honduras Bitches Inc.
Joined the brothel.
maintained my twerky bitchy assfuck
Used Fontawesome and jQuery shit ass mothafucka some dumb shit here, I don't give a shite anymore, I'm dead inside.

I.. I just.. Why? I don't know anyone who have this kind of resume and yet here I am reviewing this kind of shit from the type of people I didn't know existed. Why do we have to take something so simple and turn it into something that is so difficult to understand or even look at?

So about a month ago I started this project for myself and decided I would work on it almost everyday, even if it was just for 30 minutes!

But when I get home I'm always so tired all I can do is sit, almost brain dead and watch something (youtube, netflix, whatever).

Anyway, haven't touched it since that first week.

In my unenlightened youth, when programming was a module in my college diploma that didn't seem to be taking me where I wanted to go, I had a couple of guys guy in my class that could arguably be the weird ones.

Jonny, although he asserted that he was to be called "Jonhty", whatever, we never did. He was pretty much top of the high school food chain and for some reason elected to study computer science, none of us was prepared to put up with his shit. He was always boasting about some fanciful claim or another, famously entering the classroom and exclaiming he'd "fucked an absolute milf" and seemed somewhat evasive about the answer, turns out he was 17 and she was 35, the age difference was greater than his own age. We burst out laughing. He would also turn up late and state the college bus was late (it wasn't I got the free bus every day, he'd just not got out his wanking chariot early enough).

One valentine's day we got him a card from a mysterious stranger which was accompanied by a package containing a cucumber and Vaseline, the inside of the card read "to assist you in the following request: please go fuck yourself".

Before you think we were being unduly harsh, we had a centre table where we'd be taught from with computers around the outer rim of the room. He'd come up behind people while at the centre desk, quietly press ctrl+P and slowly walk back to the printer. I saw him do it to my machine and I got to the printer first, to which he shouted "that's MY work" which was amusing because unbeknownst to him I had put headers on all my documents so he really didn't have an answer for why my name was at the top of every page.

To top it all off he had dead eyes, there didn't appear to be much going on but the rent, there was no spark of intelligent life, and while I thought it, I never said it out loud, but other students did and I had to agree. He was just copying his way to graduation. However, he ultimately didn't graduate when people refused to allow him to copy.

Another guy, Richard I believe his name was, which is just as well because he was a right dick. In the UK our word for white trash is "chav" (that's a very naïve explanation for it but that's another rant best left for "socialsciencerant") and he was an complete idiot who was gifted with more brain cells than he ever needed to use. He actually studied hard and got reasonable grades, probably on par with me, but he boasted about smoking weed all the time, he was forever playing dark side of the moon via his loud mp3 player. I kinda left him alone generally until he was high in class one time and while we we're watching a documentary he'd shake my chair and make a weird noise in my ear every few minutes, the first couple of times startled me, the remaining multi-dozen times pissed me off.

It all came to a head with this guy when I'd been hearing about his uninteresting bs on drugs, music and how best to spend my time ("you need to lighten up man, come round my house, take a joint and relax man", that sorta thing), well this guy walked like he was mid way through shitting himself so I personally think that perhaps he is too chilled. Anyway he's arguing with me and after the exchange of him making his point, me disagreeing and expecting the end of it, he made the mistake of saying two words to me:

"Listen, mate..."

And I had him in check mate.

"Listen, I ain't your fucking mate , I don't even like you, you're a disruptive annoying twat that thinks he knows it all, we're all 17, none of us know anything, so shut the fuck up, sit the fuck down and stop boring me with your drugs, I ain't interested, and for the record I think pink Floyd ruined prog rock!"

He looked at me with sad puppy dog eyes, and started with the "but, why?", However I was interrupted and had to leave the class for unrelated reasons, I returned to be told he'd put safety pins up right on my chair so I'd sit on them, and mutual friends who TD me I'd been cruel and that he doesn't was hurt, so I should apologize, he overheard and said he was sorry for bring a bit of a dick.

However, you just know when you don't get on with someone? Yeah, that. So I said I wasn't sorry for what I said, for while it was harsh, I am not his mate, nor did I want to be his mate and that was all I had to say on the subject, and that if he wants to take offensive to a nobody not liking him then he's in for a very rough time in life.

Unsurprisingly I don't keep in touch with anyone from college!

Best email of the year so far, from a "reputable" IT supplier.

I had asked for numerous copies of x86 and x64 copies of Windows 7.

Clarification email came back "I can't find an 84 bit copy of Windows. Can you clarify?"

Not sure that mail will be beaten this year. They weren't even looking for an 86 bit version.

Unfortunately I just had to explain rather than play along for a few hours as time limited.

FML.

Fucking fuck this mother fucking cunt filled arsehole ridden brain dead idiotic world we live on.

That is all. You may now continue browsing devRant.

I wish I was one of those brain dead sheep that study hard, fall in love, take selfies, get a job , go clubbing, get married, attend cocktail parties and make more brain dead sheep....

Radio Fucking One. Shit music and Dick heads talking about TV programmes involving the fake tanned brain dead chavs dating/talking about each other and this bollocks is contaminating our youth and should be stopped. Bastard shit bollocks.

So yesterday ended with me becoming a first responder in front of my house. Talk about a crazy day.

Guy sped up down my very short dead-end road and flipped a school van down the embankment. Thankfully there were no kids in the van and the driver was okay.

I've never had to run into the scene of an accident before, and what the brain does in a time of crisis like that is absolutely amazing.

Feeling everything but the immediate need drain away. It was like time was slowed. I took in all the information of the scene and somehow worked fast while also double-checking every action I did.

I remember hesitating for a moment, worried about what I'd see. School students on the back. Would I see injured or dead children? Body parts? I remember saying "Fuck it" and running down the embankment and that was about it.

So serious props to any of you who read this that also volunteer as EMT or fire/rescue. I've long considered doing that myself and I may very well step up now that I've had first-hand experience.

And now for the requisite joke: Usually I only have to help out when Windows crashes. :)

And the time has come, my gf and I are just a month away from deploying yet we still call the project "project".

Usually solutions jump in my head when programming at least once a day but I can't name the damn thing for the love of God! It's the first night since we started development I have felt clueless.

Plus I don't want to be "that guy" that just gives it a generic name, like there's already a "ratemyprofessors", professor this, teacher that, fuck that shit!

I'm brain dead.

You're all fucking idiots with no thoughts of your own. No one gave a shit when Drupal and Django made the master/slave change 4 years ago because the idea of the "regressive left" wasn't the cultural enemy of the zeitgeist.

Think for your fucking selves instead of being so brain-dead and reactionary to something that doesn't even affect you.

Fucking neo-reactionary bullshit, that's what it is. You people don't care, you just want an excuse to rant at "teh SJWs".

Fuck.

I'm a dev and I like to rant

And who says it has to always be about Dev stuff ?

So!!! I ve spent 2 days as a junior dev and I feeel not well... 1) I am the worst dev in the company with no experience 2) brain-dead 3) feel like I wasted 2 days and learnt nothing, I guess in theory it's something but realistically I had no "it clicked" /pure genius /astounded myself / made major new brain connections moments

So what's going to happen now. ? When will I wake up? How do I wake up ?

Note to self: Pointing your tests at a non disposable DB will cause very very bad things to happen. No idea what the flying fuck I was thinking - but praise to the data gods it wasn't a production elastic!

When you take a bathroom break thinking of code while absentmindedly soaking your pants and shoes with pee

Today I was debugging some shitty code left by unknown developer whos linkedin account is dead and phone number left in contact card calls local pizza house.

I knew it qould be hard so i've made myself comfortable, gathered 5 redbulls and other items that diabetes people would kill for eating again.

After around 10 minutes i was already frustrated but i kept the pace. "Who is the best, little devie, you!" - I fooled my ego to keep up and shut up.

After around 10 next minutes my attention span has ended. Limbic system started injecting some hormones into my brain, but I remained silent.

First two energy shots were applied. I felt like hero again. Two minutes after I was debugging through some library that was written fo java and found out that it ahots some natives to a c lang lib called "mypreciouslib".

Oh flock, how can i debug it if ita compiled , I cannot do such things, Me be only junior dev. I started swearing, but silently.

Started ollydbg to see what is inside livrary, i searched through but i couldnt match anything it was like mess stirred with fecals of an elephant.

So I opened aida pro " with vitamins" cause obviously, our pm says "but you write in java right " so we dont need those tools right ? Fuck no.

Aida was better at least i could find some funcions calls, but hey, the progress. I was swearing out loud, with earplugs in. And by the time I've sweared all the things in company i got a reminder.

"Hey -insane- stop swearing, the children are here."-sayys pm, it is some kind of " family and work " shitfuck day.

So i asked them: " why wouldnt you buy this fucking tools for programmming for us , you wouldnt have to hear me fucking swearing" . then i realized that , colleagues in room heard all of it, and one of them, total fuckface buttlicker(dev without bit of knowledge) started something like "you are wrong, see how good our software is sellling". Pm was like smiling like he thanked him for buttlicking again. Not to mention he is officially retarded and i know his password to all our services cause he is so smart to put it into text file and then have sharing files in windows turned on.

The other one told aloud, that we would be much better with some debugging tools that are better than fucking eclipse if we have to work without code.

PM told us that he will arrange a meeting. At that point I didnt care any longer. I just fired myself, fuck them.

Please saint Stallman give me hope and joy of programming from my teenage years. Uhhh..

I'm about to get a burnout I suppose.
I just can't handle the amount of things we need to master in very near dead lines anymore. It's too much.
I've spend about 3 years with this year now. I am thinking of dropping it, because my grades only get worse, but on the other hand I had my dream of attending an university plus all the years that I've kind of lost here...
I can feel how the veins around my brain are full with pressure.

BTW. I'm thinking of dropping it and beginning an apprenticeship as a developer. But before that maybe an internship in that company xor taking one year free to fly to China and to the US to get my brain free.

FUCK! For fucking years, you 5 brain celled gimp cunts have been forcing horrific images into production. Are you seriously fucking brain dead, blind or just don't give a fuck because unless your eyes are painted on, even a fucking partially blind person can see that your images aren't scaled proportionately or even match the perfect one that was there in the last release.

Seriously?! At what point did you dim witted fuckwits look at that image that was stretched worse than your mouth from all the cocks in it, and think yeah.. I can put that in production... again...for the millionth time.

But ok, I'm over reacting for having to mention it again. 👍🏼

Started playing around with Kotlin and holy shit! It feels like java and js had a baby, but it's actually not a brain-dead pile of crap and works well. I'm sold!

It varies... 25 mins... 35 mins on some days. On good days, 40+. :P

My vacation starts tomorrow and I'm still at work. My brain has stopped working. Can't focus.
Does anyone know a way to force time acceleration?

I like to code as a hobby as well as do it as a day job so it surprises me quite alot when people get all funny about me coding outside of work/uni. It's just funny because half of these brain dead students know nothing about anything other than what they're taught in education. Most students are so fucking stupid nowadays and they don't like to read or research or learn. But I'm the anomaly. Ok guys. Well done, go get pissed; it's the best you can do with your braindead selves.

I think scripting makes your brain dead. I miss feeling like a "programmer" I hate web dev.

Ahhhhhhhh Welp
I don't use uppercase letters but special symbols. But sure, fuck @#€&-(/?;:'"* and all the other ones. What a brain dead, face fucked moron came up with this.

I am waiting for the day a dipshit like that starts working in a hospital, forcing to name my child "BrIaN666".

Unfortunately, due to my recent decision to only connect with people I know, it means I get a lot of those “Do you know this person?” pop-ups when I hit ignore. And because I’m a lyric person, it also means every time I deal with someone I don’t know, my brain goes:

“I don’t know him!”
“Peter, don’t you know what you have saaaaaaid? You’ve gone and cuuuut him dead.”

That son of a bitch, tbat was supposed to set up home internet, didn't show up. AGAIN! Timeframe of 2h and I was there 1h before and after it. Brain dead pieces of shit didn't call me and I - once again - lost 2h of work. Shitstained ISP hell, these fuckers are within 5 minutes distance from my home, but I have to spend my days without real internet again

Monday... Message from sysadmin at around 5:00am...

"We finished with the servers upgrade. Everything went as planned. Your call recorder is not recording any calls and your database failed to backup though."

Jeez, thanks man. You sure know how to get me out of bed!

Everyone: *circle jerking over cyberpunk 2077 and Red dead redemption 2*

Me: yeah looks cool but I think it'd be more interesting to build a modern operating system in pure unadulterated ASM...

Am I the only one not getting hyped over those games and just brain-dead or is anyone else in the same boat?

Fuck all those fuckers that buy domain and try to sell them for shit load of cash. I don't even have a problem if you sell it for a few thousands of dollars. But I just contacted some fucker who owns a worthless domain cachet.com, and he is trying to sell it for over hundred thousand dollars. Why the fuck. I have a feeling that this guy is brain dead or something. Fucking cunt

Impractical jokers makes me happy again when my brain is dead fucked coding.

My answer to their survey -->

What, if anything, do you most _dislike_ about Firebase In-App Messaging?

Come on, have you sit a normal dev, completely new to this push notification thing and ask him to make run a simple app like the flutter firebase_messaging plugin example? For sure you did not oh dear brain dead moron that found his college degree in a Linux magazine 'Ruby special edition'.

Every-f**kin thing about that Firebase is loose end. I read all Medium articles, your utterly soporific documentation that never ends, I am actually running the flutter plugin example firebase_messaging. Nothing works or is referenced correctly: nothing. You really go blind eyes in life... you guys; right? Oh, there is a flimsy workaround in the 100th post under the Github issue number 10 thousand... lets close the crash report. If I did not change 50 meaningless lines in gradle-what-not files to make your brick-of-puke to work, I did not changed a single one.

I dream of you, looking at all those nonsense config files, with cross side eyes and some small but constant sweat, sweat that stinks piss btw, leaving your eyes because you see the end, the absolute total fuckup coming. The day where all that thick stinky shit will become beyond salvation; blurred by infinite uncontrolled and skewed complexity; your creation, your pathetic brain exposed for us all.

For sure I am not the first one to complain... your whole thing, from the first to last quark that constitute it, is irrelevant; a never ending pile of non sense. Someone with all the world contained sabotage determination would not have done lower. Thank you for making me loose hours down deep your shit show. So appreciated.

The setup is: servers, your crap-as-a-service and some mobile devices. For Christ sake, sending 100 bytes as a little [ beep beep + 'hello kitty' ] is not fucking rocket science. Yet you fuckin push it to be a grinding task ... for eternity!!!

You know what, you should invent and require another, new, useless key-value called 'Registration API Key Plugin ID Service' that we have to generate and sync on two machines, everyday, using something obscure shit like a 'Gradle terminal'. Maybe also you could deprecate another key, rename another one to make things worst and I propose to choose a new hash function that we have to compile ourselves. A good candidate would be a C buggy source code from some random Github hacker... who has injected some platform dependent SIMD code (he works on PowerPC and have not test on x64); you know, the guy you admire because he is so much more lowlife that you and has all the Pokemon on his desk. Well that guy just finished a really really rapid hash function... over GPU in a server less fashion... we have an API for it. Every new user will gain 3ms for every new key. WOW, Imagine the gain over millions of users!!! Push that in the official pipe fucktard!.. What are you waiting for? Wait, no, change the whole service name and infrastructure. Move everything to CLSG (cloud lambda service ... by Google); that is it, brilliant!

And Oh, yeah, to secure the whole void, bury the doc for the new hash under 3000 words, lost between v2, v1 and some other deprecated doc that also have 3000 and are still first result on Google. Finally I think about it, let go the doc, fuck it... a tutorial, for 'weak ass' right.
One last thing, rewrite all your tech in the latest new in house language, split everything in 'femto services' => ( one assembly operation by OS process ) and finally cramp all those in containers... Agile, for sure it has to be Agile. Users will really appreciate the improvements of your mandatory service.

I've been coding for almost all day when I decided to add in uploading of files... I need to take a break... ☕

Getting close to graduating and trying to find an internship and I just have one question;

Do project teams in the real world disappoint as much as project teams in college? Or will I actually have people who aren't brain-dead working alongside me?

Wednesdays. The day we get every single dev in a meeting room, and get everyone to explain what the fuck they are working on and what sort of issues they are having. Regardless of whether you'll ever see that site or not. Can't think of a bigger fucking waste of time.... ....meetings for the sake of meetings.... PISS OFF!!

My brain overheat

RIP me 😵

Kind of responsibility working with software company. Deadline really makes you feeling dead

Those days when you wear an "RTFC" shirt to remind yourself to do it, more so than other people.

ISTQB tutorial (testing) with cold dead syntetic voice.... brain liquifying under unreleting bordom! KILL ME NOW!!!